Maybe it is just me.....

Okay.  This is probably going to sound harsh, but it is something I have had bouncing around in my head for a while now and figured I would just try to get it out of my head by sharing it here since DH has no interest in hearing my thoughts.  I know, I know.... I should know that men have no interest in listening to the actual thought process of a woman.  Apparently, we think too much and have an opinion about everything, but women have the need to overthink things, and an even stronger need to share those thoughts.  Heck, women see it as "venting their thoughts", while men see it as useless babble that first gets run through two categories before being set in the useless babble box.  That is.... if they need to fix something, or they have to defend their actions.  Usually, defending their actions consists of either fighting tooth and nail to say that their actions are justified or apologizing for whatever complaint we have with the promise to never do it again, just to be forgotten about and happen again at a later date.  I know this because I have been told that I seem to get it when yet another person shares their perspective.  I just think I tend to accumulate tidbits, like puzzle pieces, and manage to put them together in a way that seems to make sense.  Yep, sometimes I need to find more things to do with my time than observe people and their "quirks"....

Well, no better time than the present to get this ball rolling, right?

Over the past few weeks, I have been dragged to various shopping malls and even more stores than I care to think about.  Being one that hates shopping, I was tortured by DD to find a dress for the upcoming Homecoming Dance at her school, and not just any dress, but the dress.  With zero clue what the dress is going to look like, DD and I went from store to store and tried on various dresses with zero success.  Apparently, my inner tomboy and my overprotective of virtue mother qualities were at war during this hunt for the dress.  My inner tomboy just wanted to get it over with, while my overprotective of virtue mother side was saying, "no, no, no, oh hell no!" to just about every dress DD thought would be good enough to go to a dance with.  You see, if a dress is so short and tight that the wearer needs to be constantly pulling the hem down to make sure there is no clear shot of underwear to the masses... it is not a dress, but a neon sign that the wearer is looking for trouble.  I know that my thought process comes with a double edge of controversy to it and being the overprotective mother of DD's virtue.... it is mandatory that I had to explain my reasons why I expect more material in clothing, and here it is....

Men and boys (as well as women and girls), are visual creatures.  What we happen to share in appearance is open for speculation that may, or may not, be the same thought behind the choice.  While one may see their style as sexy, sophisticated, trendy, and confident.... another can see it as trashy and crying for attention.  It does not matter how much you pay for an outfit, but if it leaves nothing to the imagination (aka way too much skin showing), the person viewing the outfit will assume some not so nice things and not exactly offer the respect you believe you deserve.  Sure, in a woman's point of view, we can look at a very attractive man that happens to be shirtless and in worn jeans and basically swoon, but see another man in not so good of shape in the same look and be repulsed.  Same goes for men looking at women.  Sure, the person wearing the outfit needs to be confident in order to wear what they are wearing (and I applaud them for that), but the message they are sending can lead to something dangerous in the worst case of scenarios.  Women, more often than men, can become victims of violence just because of what they are wearing.  Innocence has been lost over a clothing choice.  More times than not.... it is the female losing her innocence and that is just sad.

While fully grown adults have the ability to make decisions of their own and deal with the ramifications of those choices, I have a serious problem with parents allowing their children to dress in a way that could quite possibly put them in danger.  With kids these days pushing for more independence and blasting through (or at least finding ways to break) a parent's ruling of what is considered acceptable clothing choices... it is definitely difficult to keep a reign on teenage sexuality.  It takes a strong parent to explain, without embarrassment, the reasons for their rulings in this area of conversation.  Saying something like, "you are gonna be a rape victim if you wear that outfit out in public", is not enough for an angst-ridden, with a chip on their shoulder the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro on their shoulder teenager will understand.  They are demanding to be seen and don't really care all that much how they are going to do just that.  It is the parent's role to explain that regardless others wear that same outfit and not get raped angle these kids think of is really a game of odds.  Sure, your daughter's friends prefer to wear clothing that requires constant readjustment to a dance, but there is that chance that your child can be a target in that crowd for the undesirable result that we, as parents, warn them about.  What parents need to state is there is a difference between classy and trashy....  A person can show their curves and be covered in a respectful manner.... that is classy.  A person that shows their underwear, or needs to constantly adjust the hem to cover their underwear.... that is trashy.  It is really all about leaving something for the imagination of the admirer.... Let them keep guessing what color your underwear is instead of getting to actually see what color they are.

I can only assume that parents these days have their hands tied behind their backs and a gag shoved in their mouth when it comes to actual parenting.  Or is it possible that the fashion industry feels that only sex sells and leaves very little options out there.  Either way, I feel that there needs to be a voice that is heard over the dim, demanding change.  Demanding that there should be better choices out there.  Demanding that in order to command getting respect.... you need to respect yourself first and be your own individual.  Demand to be heard when trends and peer pressure are resulting in something not exactly positive or confidence boosting.  I am one voice, but I hope others will join me....

Society seems to have fallen victim to being in a box.  Kind of like the current saying... "Keeping up with the Kardashians"....  having everyone have the same look, same outlook, and same unattractive demeanor.  Sure, I may sound a little old-fashioned, but having trudged through the trenches of teenage life (that hormonal, nasty attitude, demanding attention stage that destroys the innocence of youth), I can say without flinching, well, maybe a little, that my parents were right all along.  Respect and love yourself for who you are and the worthy ones will respect and love you back.  If they don't?  Then, they are not worthy to embrace the awesomeness of you.

Oh, and by the way.... I did find the dress for DD.  It met all requirements I set before her and it was a classy black dress that stopped just above the knees and did not need to be adjusted constantly.  It was form fitting to show her curves, but had enough coverage to offer the necessary level of mystery.  She agreed and by the smile on her face when she stepped out of the dressing room.... we had a winner!  Yep, the classic (and classy) little black dress (also known as LBD).  She accessorized with some bold pieces of jewelry, put her hair in a classic (and not so often seen) twist with face framing pieces, and she wore flat bottom shoes so she could dance the night away and not have screaming foot pain in the process.  That look was commanding and demanding all the right stuff.  In the terms of baseball.... it was a grand slam!!

Thanks for reading.....