I happen to be a woman at a certain age that is going through a certain situation that all women do eventually get to experience. Some earlier than me, some later than me, but most right around my age. That thing is Menopause. Am I proud to say that I am going through Menopause? Not exactly, but it has come to my attention, rather harshly in fact, that while I am one in probably a millions of women... I feel the need to share the true level of energy it takes to appear the calm, cool, and composed person with a wicked sense of sarcasm that those that know me as.
Now, I happen to be married to a mechanic and he is brilliant at being a mechanic. What he manages to understand about the workings of a car astounds me, but when it comes to understanding the makings of a woman in Menopause, he does not have a clue. Not all that sure if all men lack the understanding of what Hell a woman goes through when going through a midlife change/crisis, but I am figuring out that some situations are getting better to explain to DH when I am far too exhausted to hide my symptoms.
While every woman feels different experiences, some remain true and are relate-able, so here is my current list of events for this woman going through her "change"....
Hot Flashes: That feeling like you are going to suddenly "catch fire". That little ball of sunshine that regulates your comfort level suddenly becoming faulty and overheating you to a point that air conditioning in winter is not exactly a bad thing. AKA "broken thermostat".
Mood swings: Extreme switches in feelings and reactions to those feelings for no apparent reason. What once never bothered you, now makes you want to scream and yank your hair out. While men have been primed for a mood swing here and there (usually every 28 days or so), it is now more frequent and more volatile. That urge to roll your eyes and shrug things off now are replaced with the need to swing, fling, or slam things, followed by less than positive words and in a very colorful way (swearing) and a flood of tears. While these are more likely going to be controlled by leaving the room for long periods, and constant reminders to "mind our manners", it is quite exhausting and there will be times that our ability to reign it in will fail. AKA "blown a gasket".
Weight gain, wrinkles, hair issues, memory loss, lack of energy, itchy skin: When the body changes and the loss of estrogen, a whole myriad of things happen. We gain weight and while we seem to be perpetually on a diet... winning the war on weight is extremely hard and agreeing that we look fat in an outfit will award you getting hit with the first thing we can lay our hands on, followed by tears (see blown gasket). Our skin dries out and there is not enough lotion to bring back the collagen we lose as we age that gives us wrinkles. Of course, there is a whole other issue that our skin will get itchy in places we cannot reach. Of course, the sweating (see broken thermostat) brings just aggravates the itching issue and sets us right in the path of a mood swing (see blown gasket). While going grey is a sign of age, the newly sprouting hairs on places is not a coming of age thing. If you see a hair on the chin or lip, please avoid making a comment about it. We are aware and are trying to rectify this situation with tweezers or frequent visits to the salon for waxing. Jokes about "growing a beard or mustache" will land you right back in the land of mood swings and the reactions could become dangerous. With the last two things listed (memory loss and lack of energy), memory loss should relieve the stress of forgetting the same thing if it happens at the same time, but lack of energy can be eased by putting in a little extra effort and having a little more compassion/understanding. Our minds are filled with enough volatile mood swings and all of our energy is being used up to contain most (if not all) outbursts and effort to at least do the best we can to retain enough of our "A" game to do all that cooking, cleaning, and whatnot you have come to expect. While we will most likely miss the mark in being perfect, take note that we are putting in our best efforts. AKA "reaching classic antique status with a painfully dry undercarriage".
Loss/lack of sleep: As a young child, we hated taking naps. Getting well over 8 hours of sleep a night AND have an afternoon nap just screamed "BORING" to any kid. As we got older, we were primed to pull an "all-nighter" and still be able to function. Then, as we get even older... that longing to take a nap rears it's head. Sadly, I have had a hard time figuring the reason I cannot sleep soundly for more than 2 hours at a time when it comes to this Menopause thing. Regardless, I am not exactly as patient of a person as I was and I am attributing this to not getting enough sleep. While I can call this a mechanic's "AKA" of it being... "leaving the lights on", a "dead battery", or a "worn out alternator".... it does make a mainline back to "blown gasket".
Now, I have recently experienced a new symptom to me and probably not a new one to some (if not most)..... Night sweats. Whew! Talk about a nasty predicament! Can't even enjoy my sporadic 2 hour intervals of sleep at night. Especially, when any sense of a blanket makes me sweat, but freezes me just as fast with the fan I have blowing on me to regulate the more frequent hot flashes that strike me at night. That constant changing of my nightclothes is making laundry a bit much, too. Not a big fan of this and knowing I could be suffering years of this is going to really blow a gasket to insurmountable levels. Now, this is well beyond a "broken thermostat" and well into the realm of a "busted radiator". I just wonder.... where can I return these gifts from Mother Nature? I'd like to go back to that calm, cool, witty, and sarcastic woman I was not so long ago.
Well, I gotta go for now. My phone pinged that I need to step on the blasted bathroom scale and see if there is a loss this week and celebrate or I gained and I get to wallow in a little pity party before I tackle all the chores nobody seems to feel the need to help me with. Fingers crossed it is a celebration day. Thanks for reading and have a great day!
