Well, we made it!! It is 2011 and what better way to get things rolling with removing the Christmas decoration and getting some housework done. I would have enjoyed partying like some of my friends, but a hangover makes me pretty useless for the day. Since there is no hangover, I am ready to kick my lazy tush into gear.
I just have to remember to take a little time for myself and take care of.... me.
I decided to make a plan to make some changes in how I do things. When I usually set a goal for myself, I have a tendency to expect achieving the goal in a matter of weeks. If I do not see results, I resort to quitting. When it comes to losing weight, I have probably tried it all with hopes of instant results. With a track record like I have, I need to make my main goal into smaller goals. Make it like a set of stairs. Take things one step at a time. Little changes that become habits.
The cards are definitely stacked against me, but if I take the time to find a reasonable substitution for my weaknesses, I think I can make this work. I know that diets don't work. Being denied things only makes me want them more. I need to understand my body and teach myself moderation with everything I eat and do. I can be a real freak when it comes to doing things. I tend to overdo.
Last year, I started going to the gym. I went from couch potato to free weight freak that went to the gym 5 times a week. After getting injured from overworking myself, I took a break to heal. Sadly, the break I took was 6 months with no real desire to go back. I decided that if I do that again, I will fail in my journey towards my goals. I need to dial back my ability to jump in with both feet like that. I need to build up the endurance and that takes time and achieving small steps first.
Step one in my journey is to start going to the gym again. For the next 4 weeks, I am going to the gym once a week. For the following 8 weeks, I am going to go to the gym twice a week. For the following 12 weeks, I am going to the gym three times a week. I believe that a slow build up to the basic requirement of exercise other than what I do every day will get me into the habit of a lifetime. Who knows, it might happen faster, but I need to make this something for the long haul. It is not about losing weight, but to feel better about myself and to strengthen my back sensibly.
Step one (part two) in my journey is to figure my bad food triggers and figure a sensible substitution. This one is way harder to figure out. I have a knack to crave chocolate and sweets all the time. I figured that yogurt can help curb the sweets craving since Yoplait has yogurt that tastes like the "bad stuff", but at a healthier level. I should know... before making this plan, I actually tried some of their flavors and was really impressed. Also, if you freeze yogurt, it tastes and has the texture of ice cream (another weakness of mine). I just seem to be having the issue with chocolate. There is not fruit, yogurt, or thing that I can think of to substitute my peanut butter cups. My only guess is to buy some mini size candies and freeze them. I can have one if I let it melt in my mouth and I can only hope that one will do. Other than that, I remember the Weight Watchers plan and the daily requirements, so the food choice part will be easy. Portion control and plenty of water will be the basis of what I can call a diet. I will allow myself the occasional bad food like pizza or burgers. I just don't have to eat the whole thing and all the time. I have room for error, but finding better options just might introduce me to something I never tried before and end up liking. I just have to keep reminding myself that.
I think that is a good start and today is the first day. Not sure which day I will hit the gym, but I will be there. I have my work out clothes in plain sight to remind me that I have to go.
Wish me luck. I am not making a daily announcement of what I ate or did when it comes to this journey. I am not stepping on the scale again after today for a month. I am not going to let myself fail my commitment and I am not asking for support from friends. This is my challenge and I will face it alone. If I falter and fall off that wagon, I will get myself back on. I will share my thoughts through blogging. Ready or not... here I go :)
Have a great day and may all your goals be achieved in 2011...
cya :)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Hoping for a better year to all.....Even me :)
2010 is just about over. In less than 12 hours, there will be a change.....
Are you ready for it?
Anticipation of a new year is something everyone feels. Just the word "new year" give it a sense of a new beginning. Kind of like the slate of the previous year is cleared and there is new things to discover.
Some might do a little self discovery. What was important is no longer a real issue and what what not all that an issue will become really important. It creates a new path to take in life that becomes yet another life lesson.
Some might make a resolution to change something about them. It might be a commitment to better health, to see the number on the scale go down, or even fit in a different size of clothes. It could be breaking old habits and creating new ones. It could be a new promise to themselves to do something to better their surroundings.
As for myself, I did not make any resolutions this year. I made a commitment to myself. Resolutions are plans; a thought of what you really want, but no real commitment. Resolutions get broken if the bar of the intended goal is way too high or there is a time limit. Real high expectations set you up for bigger disappointments. I plan to expect less and be pleasantly surprised if I get more.
2010 was a tough year for me and probably everyone else I know. They just don't show it like I do. Frustration, stress, depression and feeling inadequate or alone is not a way to spend a year. Everyone has experienced these feelings at one time or another. Weaker ones would commit suicide, stronger ones will find strength to seek some happiness and the determination to live on. I am not saying that I have been completely miserable in 2010, I have had some really happy moments. Friends and family is what keeps me grounded and faith keeps me going. Hope and faith that when things seem so bleak, should get better. It is like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
If I could guarantee that 2011 is a prosperous year for all, there would be a lot of really happy people. I am even a little apprehensive saying that. There are no guarantees of what will happen in life and I cannot guarantee everyone's happiness. What makes one happy does not necessarily make others just as happy. One thing rings true with everyone since the economic downfall that started in 2008, (or so we all think it started there. Chances are, it has been falling well before then.) is the feeling of financial freedom. My husband and I have struggled to stay afloat for about a year now. Oh, how we long for the days that we could actually do something fun like take a family vacation, buy something we want instead of need, to be generous during the holidays. Those days went away and we are not sure when they are coming back. We just hope they come back real soon. I have no doubts that there are plenty of others thinking the same thing. I know that there are people wishing to even afford the basic necessities, so there are others struggling harder than we are.
I just wonder if praying and hoping for better things to come is the trick to making the new year that is coming a better year for all. I sure hope so because that is all I can do. I can easily blame the government, the greedy fortune 500 company owners, and anything else I can think of for my 2010 being a tough one, but in reality, it is up to me to decide if it is going to be hard or not. How I feel about things is under my control, not by the circumstances that happen around me. My commitment for 2011 is to make it whatever I want it to be. I plan on making the best of everything and freely offer the best I can do. There are huge challenges that lay ahead, I might fail, I will falter, but I will keep trying.
I wish you all the best for 2011 and to leave the tragic legacy that 2010 has given us behind. Make tomorrow a clean slate and a new beginning filled with hope, faith and prosperity :)
Are you ready for it?
Anticipation of a new year is something everyone feels. Just the word "new year" give it a sense of a new beginning. Kind of like the slate of the previous year is cleared and there is new things to discover.
Some might do a little self discovery. What was important is no longer a real issue and what what not all that an issue will become really important. It creates a new path to take in life that becomes yet another life lesson.
Some might make a resolution to change something about them. It might be a commitment to better health, to see the number on the scale go down, or even fit in a different size of clothes. It could be breaking old habits and creating new ones. It could be a new promise to themselves to do something to better their surroundings.
As for myself, I did not make any resolutions this year. I made a commitment to myself. Resolutions are plans; a thought of what you really want, but no real commitment. Resolutions get broken if the bar of the intended goal is way too high or there is a time limit. Real high expectations set you up for bigger disappointments. I plan to expect less and be pleasantly surprised if I get more.
2010 was a tough year for me and probably everyone else I know. They just don't show it like I do. Frustration, stress, depression and feeling inadequate or alone is not a way to spend a year. Everyone has experienced these feelings at one time or another. Weaker ones would commit suicide, stronger ones will find strength to seek some happiness and the determination to live on. I am not saying that I have been completely miserable in 2010, I have had some really happy moments. Friends and family is what keeps me grounded and faith keeps me going. Hope and faith that when things seem so bleak, should get better. It is like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
If I could guarantee that 2011 is a prosperous year for all, there would be a lot of really happy people. I am even a little apprehensive saying that. There are no guarantees of what will happen in life and I cannot guarantee everyone's happiness. What makes one happy does not necessarily make others just as happy. One thing rings true with everyone since the economic downfall that started in 2008, (or so we all think it started there. Chances are, it has been falling well before then.) is the feeling of financial freedom. My husband and I have struggled to stay afloat for about a year now. Oh, how we long for the days that we could actually do something fun like take a family vacation, buy something we want instead of need, to be generous during the holidays. Those days went away and we are not sure when they are coming back. We just hope they come back real soon. I have no doubts that there are plenty of others thinking the same thing. I know that there are people wishing to even afford the basic necessities, so there are others struggling harder than we are.
I just wonder if praying and hoping for better things to come is the trick to making the new year that is coming a better year for all. I sure hope so because that is all I can do. I can easily blame the government, the greedy fortune 500 company owners, and anything else I can think of for my 2010 being a tough one, but in reality, it is up to me to decide if it is going to be hard or not. How I feel about things is under my control, not by the circumstances that happen around me. My commitment for 2011 is to make it whatever I want it to be. I plan on making the best of everything and freely offer the best I can do. There are huge challenges that lay ahead, I might fail, I will falter, but I will keep trying.
I wish you all the best for 2011 and to leave the tragic legacy that 2010 has given us behind. Make tomorrow a clean slate and a new beginning filled with hope, faith and prosperity :)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
A pinch of this and a dash of that.....
Today was the day I thought I was going to dread. My daughter decided to go to the mall. I personally hate shopping and I was not really in the mood for crowds.
This is the week after Christmas. If you thought that Christmas shopping at the mall is a complete nightmare, then you have not experienced the week after. People everywhere!! Some returning or exchanging gifts they did not like, others taking advantage of the major sales at the stores. There is even a fair number of teens that just hang out because it is too cold to do much else. This is obviously not my cup of tea.
As we spend about 15 minutes driving around, looking for a parking spot in the same vicinity of the mall, we opt to park in the fist spot available that felt like we parked one county over. We finally get into the mall. All I can think is, "oh joy, mayhem. Just what I was missing in my life, to be stuffed into a building with really clueless people."
I decided to put my best foot forward and deal with my internal misery. This is what my daughter wanted to do, so I am there just for her. As we walk around the mall, we come across a kiosk for cell phone covers. My daughter has been begging for a new and cooler cell phone for about a month. Buying one is just out of the question. Cell phones are not status symbols, they are for making calls in the case of an emergency, or so I thought. I get to hear, over and over again, how her friends have really cool cell phones and hers is so..... plain. Thinking that they have a cool skin or cover for her phone should stave off the nagging about a new phone. We look around and there is no covers for her style of phone. If she had an iPhone, there were plenty of choices, but alas, she doesn't. She looks sad and continues to plea for a new phone.
"No go, kiddo" is all I can tell her. Money is too tight. "Be happy with the fact you have a cell phone".... Apparently, that is not the thing to tell a pre-pre-teen in this day and age. I can see the sadness in her face. It breaks my heart that I cannot give her everything, but I never got half the stuff she has now back when I was a kid. Suddenly, I am sounding like my mother with telling her one of those "back in the day when I was your age" stories. I can see her attention fading fast, so I have a brilliant idea......
Lets decorate your phone! Lets get some really cool gem stickers to add some "bling" to this thing. Make it your one-of-a-kind original. Suddenly, she snaps too and agrees. We go on the search for really cool stickers. 12 stores later, both our patience is wearing thin. I call my best friend for advice in finding really cool stickers. She tells me of a place that is not in the mall and we go there. Needless to say, we found what sparked my daughter's interest and $6.00 later and a trip back home, she is off being creative. Next thing I see is one really tricked-out phone and a happy kid.
Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of creativity to make something old, new again.
So glad it worked, because her choice of phone would have set me back about $80.00 and a 2 year contract that costs more than what we already pay. Gotta love Kajeet.com. 150 minutes and unlimited text for $20.00 a month is a far cry to what Sprint has for phone plans. Crisis averted and I am pretty happy about it.
This is the week after Christmas. If you thought that Christmas shopping at the mall is a complete nightmare, then you have not experienced the week after. People everywhere!! Some returning or exchanging gifts they did not like, others taking advantage of the major sales at the stores. There is even a fair number of teens that just hang out because it is too cold to do much else. This is obviously not my cup of tea.
As we spend about 15 minutes driving around, looking for a parking spot in the same vicinity of the mall, we opt to park in the fist spot available that felt like we parked one county over. We finally get into the mall. All I can think is, "oh joy, mayhem. Just what I was missing in my life, to be stuffed into a building with really clueless people."
I decided to put my best foot forward and deal with my internal misery. This is what my daughter wanted to do, so I am there just for her. As we walk around the mall, we come across a kiosk for cell phone covers. My daughter has been begging for a new and cooler cell phone for about a month. Buying one is just out of the question. Cell phones are not status symbols, they are for making calls in the case of an emergency, or so I thought. I get to hear, over and over again, how her friends have really cool cell phones and hers is so..... plain. Thinking that they have a cool skin or cover for her phone should stave off the nagging about a new phone. We look around and there is no covers for her style of phone. If she had an iPhone, there were plenty of choices, but alas, she doesn't. She looks sad and continues to plea for a new phone.
"No go, kiddo" is all I can tell her. Money is too tight. "Be happy with the fact you have a cell phone".... Apparently, that is not the thing to tell a pre-pre-teen in this day and age. I can see the sadness in her face. It breaks my heart that I cannot give her everything, but I never got half the stuff she has now back when I was a kid. Suddenly, I am sounding like my mother with telling her one of those "back in the day when I was your age" stories. I can see her attention fading fast, so I have a brilliant idea......
Lets decorate your phone! Lets get some really cool gem stickers to add some "bling" to this thing. Make it your one-of-a-kind original. Suddenly, she snaps too and agrees. We go on the search for really cool stickers. 12 stores later, both our patience is wearing thin. I call my best friend for advice in finding really cool stickers. She tells me of a place that is not in the mall and we go there. Needless to say, we found what sparked my daughter's interest and $6.00 later and a trip back home, she is off being creative. Next thing I see is one really tricked-out phone and a happy kid.
Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of creativity to make something old, new again.
So glad it worked, because her choice of phone would have set me back about $80.00 and a 2 year contract that costs more than what we already pay. Gotta love Kajeet.com. 150 minutes and unlimited text for $20.00 a month is a far cry to what Sprint has for phone plans. Crisis averted and I am pretty happy about it.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Just another random rant.....
I realized that as we get older, our level of patience runs really thin. What was never an issue becomes the biggest issue to deal with. I have prided myself on being a reasonable person, in fact, a very patient person, too. I try to see the other's point of view and I accept that everyone is different. Not just in appearance, but in their thought process. I take advice to heart even if the advice is easier said than done. I consider myself pretty smart and resourceful. If a problem arises, I try every possible idea and suggestion to see if I get a result.
Here are just a few "hurdles" I have been trying to overcome.....
Well, this first one is probably the hardest one I have and even the hardest one to write about. Please keep in mind, I love my mother. She is one tough woman. She speaks her mind and does not care what others think. In fact, she is one that can bring out the best and worst in me. She is highly opinionated and will give you her opinion if you want it or not. She is also an understanding and kind person, even thoughtful, but there are times that she can really test my patience level.
Every morning, my mom calls me. 8:00am on the dot, unless she has a doctor's appointment at that time, then she makes sure to call me the day before to let me know and then calls me when she gets home. There a lot of phone calls I get from her in the day, but I understand that getting lonely is hard to deal with. You see, my dad passed away a little over 9 years ago. He was her soul mate, her best friend, her everything. All of her children are grown and on their own. My older brother still lives with her in the family home to make sure that she is well taken care of, but does have a job to go to and a social life to uphold so he cannot be there all the time. I do my best to spend time with her, I take her to the store sometimes and I even have taken her to doctor's appointments (if she asks). We sometimes go out for lunch just to get out of our houses. I know that if I ever needed help, she would be the first one there for me, as I am for her.
It is just that there are times that since she is so opinionated, she can be relentless. Sometimes I think she takes pride in pushing my buttons. She can be so narrow sighted that there is no way to get her to see another's point of view. She lives in a black and white kind-of world, there are no gray areas. When it comes to me or my daughter, she expects us to have high expectations; only the best will do. That would be fine and dandy, but life will have it's disappointments and shortcomings. We learn to adapt. That is not acceptable in her book. She will tell me what to do. Interesting thing, when she makes her suggestions, she seems to not notice that I am smart enough to have already tried that. When she does this, it makes me feel as if she thinks I am clueless. I know I am not, but as I said earlier, she can really push my buttons.
As sensitive as a person that I am (just a recent revelation), I am a sponge to my environment. I react similar to my surroundings. If a friend is mad, I am mad with them. If they are sad, I am sad too. Frustrated is so commonplace these days that being frustrated really takes no effort. What makes it hard for a sensitive person like myself these days is that people are getting better at masking their woes as I am unable to mask my own. That is just a recipe for people to run in the other direction. I can't blame them. There are days I want to run away myself. Since running away from myself is not an option, I use blogging as my way of release. I think really hard about what I want to say, to be as clear as possible and let the chips fall were they may.
Maybe I should introduce my mom to blogging. She has loads to say. Well, maybe not. She tells me that she likes to keep her thoughts to herself......
Here are just a few "hurdles" I have been trying to overcome.....
Well, this first one is probably the hardest one I have and even the hardest one to write about. Please keep in mind, I love my mother. She is one tough woman. She speaks her mind and does not care what others think. In fact, she is one that can bring out the best and worst in me. She is highly opinionated and will give you her opinion if you want it or not. She is also an understanding and kind person, even thoughtful, but there are times that she can really test my patience level.
Every morning, my mom calls me. 8:00am on the dot, unless she has a doctor's appointment at that time, then she makes sure to call me the day before to let me know and then calls me when she gets home. There a lot of phone calls I get from her in the day, but I understand that getting lonely is hard to deal with. You see, my dad passed away a little over 9 years ago. He was her soul mate, her best friend, her everything. All of her children are grown and on their own. My older brother still lives with her in the family home to make sure that she is well taken care of, but does have a job to go to and a social life to uphold so he cannot be there all the time. I do my best to spend time with her, I take her to the store sometimes and I even have taken her to doctor's appointments (if she asks). We sometimes go out for lunch just to get out of our houses. I know that if I ever needed help, she would be the first one there for me, as I am for her.
It is just that there are times that since she is so opinionated, she can be relentless. Sometimes I think she takes pride in pushing my buttons. She can be so narrow sighted that there is no way to get her to see another's point of view. She lives in a black and white kind-of world, there are no gray areas. When it comes to me or my daughter, she expects us to have high expectations; only the best will do. That would be fine and dandy, but life will have it's disappointments and shortcomings. We learn to adapt. That is not acceptable in her book. She will tell me what to do. Interesting thing, when she makes her suggestions, she seems to not notice that I am smart enough to have already tried that. When she does this, it makes me feel as if she thinks I am clueless. I know I am not, but as I said earlier, she can really push my buttons.
As sensitive as a person that I am (just a recent revelation), I am a sponge to my environment. I react similar to my surroundings. If a friend is mad, I am mad with them. If they are sad, I am sad too. Frustrated is so commonplace these days that being frustrated really takes no effort. What makes it hard for a sensitive person like myself these days is that people are getting better at masking their woes as I am unable to mask my own. That is just a recipe for people to run in the other direction. I can't blame them. There are days I want to run away myself. Since running away from myself is not an option, I use blogging as my way of release. I think really hard about what I want to say, to be as clear as possible and let the chips fall were they may.
Maybe I should introduce my mom to blogging. She has loads to say. Well, maybe not. She tells me that she likes to keep her thoughts to herself......
Monday, December 27, 2010
A twisted view.....
Wow! The new year is upon us all! Say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011.
What comes to mind when the beginning of a new year is upon us?
Some see it as an opportunity to party like a maniac with friends and family. Others see it as an opportunity to have a fresh start. Most make resolutions to challenge themselves to be thinner, to quit smoking, to make going to the gym a ritualistic thing.
As for me... It is random thoughts and wondering with a touch of making a resolution...
Resolutions are just high expectations with a time limit. After all the holiday feasts, going on a diet is an obvious choice. I try each year, but quit after a few months. My cravings for junk food, chocolate and sometimes beer are my recipe for failure. I know, I know.... Moderation is the key. Diets don't work. Getting to a healthy or even ideal weight is going to take a lifestyle change if you really want it. I know that I am a weak person because I let everything effect my journey to get back into a single digit size of jeans.
It is really hard to eat healthy when everything has gone to crap. The economy has got our household in a pinch. Being on a budget makes it real hard to buy healthier choices if you can't get them with coupons. A majority of the foods we eat are either hormone injected or chemically processed for the masses. I watched Food, Inc. and I am even a bit leery about what we eat.
I am in the midst of looking for another job to help my family financially. We are on the verge of going under if we are not careful in how we manage our money. Finding a job is like trying to find Waldo. I am a hairdresser, by trade, and I can easily find a job at another salon, but the service industry is suffering. Earning commission is a feast or famine world and we have been starving. Finding a job that pays an hourly wage takes a college degree unless you like flipping burgers. There was a time I was qualified to work in an office, but since the crash in the economy, employers are looking for people that they do not need to train. I have been out of that loop for years and there are plenty of people very qualified to fill those jobs. Entry level is the thing of the past. The stress of it all makes me crave chocolate in the worst way.... Not the healthiest of food choices.
Everything we do takes some form of conscious thought. We work to make money so we can have the basic necessities. We think about what we wear, we think about what we say (more so when it comes to me), we think about what we eat (some more than others), we make decisions all the time. When our thought process is squashed by our environment, or in this case, economy, we tend to be less than optimistic.
Does the new year posses some kind of magic that everything will get better? Nope. January 1st is just the start of the new calendar year. All the strife and struggle is still there. We just look at it differently, we enter it with hope. So why make a resolution to make your changes at the start of the calendar year? It just creates hype and then disappointment. I should know. I have failed every resolution I have ever made. This year is different. I am not making a resolution. You can't fail a resolution if you never made one :)
When it comes to my journey of losing weight, I am just going to try and keep trying. I have to work with what I have because I know that 2011 is not going to be great if I do not put any effort into it.
Hopefully, 2011 is the year that we even get out of this economic funk, the government stops drowning us in debt, jobs for all, and the resurrection of the American Dream. A girl can dream, right?
Happy New Year everyone :)
What comes to mind when the beginning of a new year is upon us?
Some see it as an opportunity to party like a maniac with friends and family. Others see it as an opportunity to have a fresh start. Most make resolutions to challenge themselves to be thinner, to quit smoking, to make going to the gym a ritualistic thing.
As for me... It is random thoughts and wondering with a touch of making a resolution...
Resolutions are just high expectations with a time limit. After all the holiday feasts, going on a diet is an obvious choice. I try each year, but quit after a few months. My cravings for junk food, chocolate and sometimes beer are my recipe for failure. I know, I know.... Moderation is the key. Diets don't work. Getting to a healthy or even ideal weight is going to take a lifestyle change if you really want it. I know that I am a weak person because I let everything effect my journey to get back into a single digit size of jeans.
It is really hard to eat healthy when everything has gone to crap. The economy has got our household in a pinch. Being on a budget makes it real hard to buy healthier choices if you can't get them with coupons. A majority of the foods we eat are either hormone injected or chemically processed for the masses. I watched Food, Inc. and I am even a bit leery about what we eat.
I am in the midst of looking for another job to help my family financially. We are on the verge of going under if we are not careful in how we manage our money. Finding a job is like trying to find Waldo. I am a hairdresser, by trade, and I can easily find a job at another salon, but the service industry is suffering. Earning commission is a feast or famine world and we have been starving. Finding a job that pays an hourly wage takes a college degree unless you like flipping burgers. There was a time I was qualified to work in an office, but since the crash in the economy, employers are looking for people that they do not need to train. I have been out of that loop for years and there are plenty of people very qualified to fill those jobs. Entry level is the thing of the past. The stress of it all makes me crave chocolate in the worst way.... Not the healthiest of food choices.
Everything we do takes some form of conscious thought. We work to make money so we can have the basic necessities. We think about what we wear, we think about what we say (more so when it comes to me), we think about what we eat (some more than others), we make decisions all the time. When our thought process is squashed by our environment, or in this case, economy, we tend to be less than optimistic.
Does the new year posses some kind of magic that everything will get better? Nope. January 1st is just the start of the new calendar year. All the strife and struggle is still there. We just look at it differently, we enter it with hope. So why make a resolution to make your changes at the start of the calendar year? It just creates hype and then disappointment. I should know. I have failed every resolution I have ever made. This year is different. I am not making a resolution. You can't fail a resolution if you never made one :)
When it comes to my journey of losing weight, I am just going to try and keep trying. I have to work with what I have because I know that 2011 is not going to be great if I do not put any effort into it.
Hopefully, 2011 is the year that we even get out of this economic funk, the government stops drowning us in debt, jobs for all, and the resurrection of the American Dream. A girl can dream, right?
Happy New Year everyone :)
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Interesting thing about how people are different.....
First things first.... Being Christmas and all..... I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. May all your holiday wishes come true!!
Well, on to my topic for today...
Lets ponder for a bit. What do you think when you hear the following statement..... Actions speak louder than words. The statement is pretty self-explanatory to me. A person's actions speak volumes. It could tell a person what they want or desire, it can tell a person that they care about you, it can tell you a lot about that person. What we do and how we react to it is what makes every person different.
Now, what do you think when someone does nothing? Lets elaborate... When a person says one thing and does nothing. Here is where I had an "ah ha" moment. Just a couple of days ago, there was a gathering at a local bar. Some people that attended were people that I have not seen in years. I figured that it would be nice to go and see everyone. I have been suffering cabin fever, so getting out was a welcome thing. Sadly, it was a weeknight. My husband is most likely going to be working late again. Sometimes, it is actually work, other times it is beers and buddies. I knew that since it was the night before Christmas Eve, it was going to be a beer and buddies thing, I figured I would call my husband at work and ask if I could go out after he gets home. I think it is a courtesy to ask for permission even though I know he has no problem with me going out once in a while. Crossing my fingers in hopes that I am not actually interrupting work, but fun time (I learned about my amazing talent to call at the worst possible time), I ask. I even asked if there was a time that he was planning on getting home, so I could be ready to go out once he walks in the door. He tells me that he is just about ready to leave and should be home in 10 minutes. He even said that it was a good idea to get out and have some fun. I was thrilled.
I waited and waited for him to get home. The 10 minutes already came and went... not home. An hour passes... not home. Two hours pass.... not home. I am getting more and more frustrated. Not home, no call... nothing. My mind starts to wander and I wonder if a person says that they are going to be home at a certain time and does not show up or even call is their way of saying the complete opposite of what was said. He told me that is was okay to go out. He said he would be home in 10 minutes. Hmmm..... I guess his disregard of time tells me that he really does not want me to go out. The lack of a phone call is his way of avoiding to tell me of his decision. Then I start to worry.... Did he get in an accident? Not home and no call could mean something terrible, so I call his cell phone. He answers. He is fine. He just got tied up in a conversation with a person and had a couple more beers. He never even looked at his watch to see that he was supposed to be home over 2 hours ago. WTF! I am furious!
In a stage of complete frustration and rage, I sputter out this statement and it became my "ah ha" moment.....
"Well, I am glad that you are just fine and dandy, but I figured that when a person says that they are going to do something and be home in a certain time frame, they would do as they say. I am getting the very strong impression that you really do not want to let me go out and see friends. Instead of telling me 'no' when I asked, you decided to tell me otherwise by your actions, or in this case, no actions." He tells me that I am completely wrong and I am reading way into things. That it was an honest mistake and that he really wants to let me out for the night and he will definitely be home in 10 minutes to watch our daughter so I can go. Needless to say... it took him 20 minutes to get home after we hung up the phone.
There it was... My "ah ha" moment!! I can see the light and it is beautiful!! The clouds have parted and I can hear the angels sing.
I am one stubborn person! Not stubborn in refusing to move from one spot, but stubborn in thinking. I have a certain level of expectation and if it is not met, I get bent. I want to know and understand, but I refuse to ask questions. I internalize way too much and come to my own conclusions. Sometimes I am right, but most of the time, I am wrong.
The book 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' is completely wrong when it comes to me. I am not a 'girly-girl' and I am not a 'dude', but a mixture of it. I am a tomboy. I have always been and I always will be. I like trucks, sports, and my choice of clothes are Jeans and t-shirts, but I prefer to wear makeup and do my hair before going out. I am not afraid to ask for directions, but I prefer to figure it out by myself. I am a good listener, but there are times I go directly to 'fix-it' mode. I would rather punch than slap. I am soft, but I am tough. When it comes to my choice of drink in the bar... it is a beer in the bottle. I am a mutt, a mix of it all. I guess that is why I can relate to so many people. I am a mother and wife. I am a daughter and a friend. I am one heck of a journey to get to know, but a worthwhile one :)
Well, on to my topic for today...
Lets ponder for a bit. What do you think when you hear the following statement..... Actions speak louder than words. The statement is pretty self-explanatory to me. A person's actions speak volumes. It could tell a person what they want or desire, it can tell a person that they care about you, it can tell you a lot about that person. What we do and how we react to it is what makes every person different.
Now, what do you think when someone does nothing? Lets elaborate... When a person says one thing and does nothing. Here is where I had an "ah ha" moment. Just a couple of days ago, there was a gathering at a local bar. Some people that attended were people that I have not seen in years. I figured that it would be nice to go and see everyone. I have been suffering cabin fever, so getting out was a welcome thing. Sadly, it was a weeknight. My husband is most likely going to be working late again. Sometimes, it is actually work, other times it is beers and buddies. I knew that since it was the night before Christmas Eve, it was going to be a beer and buddies thing, I figured I would call my husband at work and ask if I could go out after he gets home. I think it is a courtesy to ask for permission even though I know he has no problem with me going out once in a while. Crossing my fingers in hopes that I am not actually interrupting work, but fun time (I learned about my amazing talent to call at the worst possible time), I ask. I even asked if there was a time that he was planning on getting home, so I could be ready to go out once he walks in the door. He tells me that he is just about ready to leave and should be home in 10 minutes. He even said that it was a good idea to get out and have some fun. I was thrilled.
I waited and waited for him to get home. The 10 minutes already came and went... not home. An hour passes... not home. Two hours pass.... not home. I am getting more and more frustrated. Not home, no call... nothing. My mind starts to wander and I wonder if a person says that they are going to be home at a certain time and does not show up or even call is their way of saying the complete opposite of what was said. He told me that is was okay to go out. He said he would be home in 10 minutes. Hmmm..... I guess his disregard of time tells me that he really does not want me to go out. The lack of a phone call is his way of avoiding to tell me of his decision. Then I start to worry.... Did he get in an accident? Not home and no call could mean something terrible, so I call his cell phone. He answers. He is fine. He just got tied up in a conversation with a person and had a couple more beers. He never even looked at his watch to see that he was supposed to be home over 2 hours ago. WTF! I am furious!
In a stage of complete frustration and rage, I sputter out this statement and it became my "ah ha" moment.....
"Well, I am glad that you are just fine and dandy, but I figured that when a person says that they are going to do something and be home in a certain time frame, they would do as they say. I am getting the very strong impression that you really do not want to let me go out and see friends. Instead of telling me 'no' when I asked, you decided to tell me otherwise by your actions, or in this case, no actions." He tells me that I am completely wrong and I am reading way into things. That it was an honest mistake and that he really wants to let me out for the night and he will definitely be home in 10 minutes to watch our daughter so I can go. Needless to say... it took him 20 minutes to get home after we hung up the phone.
There it was... My "ah ha" moment!! I can see the light and it is beautiful!! The clouds have parted and I can hear the angels sing.
I am one stubborn person! Not stubborn in refusing to move from one spot, but stubborn in thinking. I have a certain level of expectation and if it is not met, I get bent. I want to know and understand, but I refuse to ask questions. I internalize way too much and come to my own conclusions. Sometimes I am right, but most of the time, I am wrong.
The book 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' is completely wrong when it comes to me. I am not a 'girly-girl' and I am not a 'dude', but a mixture of it. I am a tomboy. I have always been and I always will be. I like trucks, sports, and my choice of clothes are Jeans and t-shirts, but I prefer to wear makeup and do my hair before going out. I am not afraid to ask for directions, but I prefer to figure it out by myself. I am a good listener, but there are times I go directly to 'fix-it' mode. I would rather punch than slap. I am soft, but I am tough. When it comes to my choice of drink in the bar... it is a beer in the bottle. I am a mutt, a mix of it all. I guess that is why I can relate to so many people. I am a mother and wife. I am a daughter and a friend. I am one heck of a journey to get to know, but a worthwhile one :)
Friday, December 24, 2010
Ask and ye shall receive.... REALLY?
The old saying "ask and ye shall receive" was never one of my stronger things when it came to me being the one that asks. I think I am pretty self-sufficient and as long as I put my heart into it and really try, I am capable of doing anything. I really do not know a lot of women that can change the oil in their car, change a tire, set up a VCR/DVD combo or even fix a small appliance. Given the proper instructions, I believe that anyone can do those things as long as they try.
Learning from mistakes is what life is all about. Even when it comes to who you are as a person. We all have had relationships that offered a big lesson in what we want in a partner. We all probably mixed colors in with the whites in the laundry at least once in our lives. We probably tried and failed at cooking something really difficult. All of these experiences enrich us and teach us. It is really never thought of as a learning process, but as a "note to self" moment. It is all in how we look at it.
Knowing what we like or don't like takes the courage to at least try things once.... maybe twice. I feared sushi for years. I finally got the courage to try it and I love it. I even have craving for it from time to time. Sometimes trying something new can change the way you think about a lot of things. Since becoming a fan of sushi, I really don't like canned tuna anymore. Some things actually taste better raw. My point in this little drift from the true subject is to point out that experiences can change what was considered acceptable into something not liked very much. Not hated, but moved down the list of what I really like. The same goes for in relationships. When I got married almost 13 years ago, I married for one set of priorities and traits that I deemed acceptable. As the years have passed, what was not important has become really important and vise versa.
Back to me being self-sufficient. Well, since I am able to do so much on my own, I rarely ever ask for help. I hated inconveniencing people. If I can do it myself, I should do it myself. In my house, I do all the cooking and cleaning. My husband usually takes care of the outside. During the summer, he mows the lawn, trims the bushes, whacks the weeds. Come winter, things change. Besides doing the household work, I go outside and shovel the snow. Snow happens often where I live. No rhyme or reason, it just snows. This is not like lawn maintenance that gets done once a week. When it snows, I want it off my driveway and sidewalk. I tell people it is because I want it to be safe for others, but I believe I have a bit of OCD about keeping the driveway and sidewalks clear. Packed down snow from walking or driving on it bothers me like nails on a chalkboard. Snowblowers cannot clear away snow the way I like it so I shovel. If the snow is heavy, I will use the snowblower and then go over it again with the shovel. My neighbors think I am nuts, but they appreciate my hard work when they come over. Some even try to keep up with me. It just pushes me harder to do more and better....LOL.
Well, today is Christmas Eve and I am having my family come over. I have started the cooking and decided to clear the driveway once more before my family comes over. This time because I do care about their safety. My mom is no spring chicken and if she falls, something will break. I did not clear the snow as well as I usually do when the freezing rain came along, so I had a small layer of snow covered in ice. You have better traction if there is snow under the ice. When the freezing rain stops, I shovel the ice and snow with ease. Well, I was a bit lazy in doing that and some of the ice covered show packed down and became packed ice. With all the cooking I am doing, I could not focus on getting my driveway done.
Going against the every fiber of my being, I prepared myself to ask for help. My husband graciously offered to finish what I started with the shoveling. Figuring that was just dumb luck, I went a little further. I knew that I would not have enough time to do everything by myself, I asked for some more help. Asking is hard for me, but now I have my husband and daughter helping me with all that I needed to do. I even got time to blog!
The new thing I learned is that people are willing to help, if you ask for it. If not, you are on your own.
Happy Christmas Eve everyone :)
Learning from mistakes is what life is all about. Even when it comes to who you are as a person. We all have had relationships that offered a big lesson in what we want in a partner. We all probably mixed colors in with the whites in the laundry at least once in our lives. We probably tried and failed at cooking something really difficult. All of these experiences enrich us and teach us. It is really never thought of as a learning process, but as a "note to self" moment. It is all in how we look at it.
Knowing what we like or don't like takes the courage to at least try things once.... maybe twice. I feared sushi for years. I finally got the courage to try it and I love it. I even have craving for it from time to time. Sometimes trying something new can change the way you think about a lot of things. Since becoming a fan of sushi, I really don't like canned tuna anymore. Some things actually taste better raw. My point in this little drift from the true subject is to point out that experiences can change what was considered acceptable into something not liked very much. Not hated, but moved down the list of what I really like. The same goes for in relationships. When I got married almost 13 years ago, I married for one set of priorities and traits that I deemed acceptable. As the years have passed, what was not important has become really important and vise versa.
Back to me being self-sufficient. Well, since I am able to do so much on my own, I rarely ever ask for help. I hated inconveniencing people. If I can do it myself, I should do it myself. In my house, I do all the cooking and cleaning. My husband usually takes care of the outside. During the summer, he mows the lawn, trims the bushes, whacks the weeds. Come winter, things change. Besides doing the household work, I go outside and shovel the snow. Snow happens often where I live. No rhyme or reason, it just snows. This is not like lawn maintenance that gets done once a week. When it snows, I want it off my driveway and sidewalk. I tell people it is because I want it to be safe for others, but I believe I have a bit of OCD about keeping the driveway and sidewalks clear. Packed down snow from walking or driving on it bothers me like nails on a chalkboard. Snowblowers cannot clear away snow the way I like it so I shovel. If the snow is heavy, I will use the snowblower and then go over it again with the shovel. My neighbors think I am nuts, but they appreciate my hard work when they come over. Some even try to keep up with me. It just pushes me harder to do more and better....LOL.
Well, today is Christmas Eve and I am having my family come over. I have started the cooking and decided to clear the driveway once more before my family comes over. This time because I do care about their safety. My mom is no spring chicken and if she falls, something will break. I did not clear the snow as well as I usually do when the freezing rain came along, so I had a small layer of snow covered in ice. You have better traction if there is snow under the ice. When the freezing rain stops, I shovel the ice and snow with ease. Well, I was a bit lazy in doing that and some of the ice covered show packed down and became packed ice. With all the cooking I am doing, I could not focus on getting my driveway done.
Going against the every fiber of my being, I prepared myself to ask for help. My husband graciously offered to finish what I started with the shoveling. Figuring that was just dumb luck, I went a little further. I knew that I would not have enough time to do everything by myself, I asked for some more help. Asking is hard for me, but now I have my husband and daughter helping me with all that I needed to do. I even got time to blog!
The new thing I learned is that people are willing to help, if you ask for it. If not, you are on your own.
Happy Christmas Eve everyone :)
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