My daughter may look a lot like me, but she definitely shows traits of her father. I was just not prepared to deal with how much she is like her father, academically. You see, when it came to school and a person's academic career (yep, I am calling it a career - 13 years plus preschool and college, it is basically a long term commitment in my book), it is the focused one that really works hard that gains the most out of life. We never really get it until we are all grown up, but it is true. Jobs and salaries that we have potential to earn differ greatly when a good education is in place. Nowadays, college is more and more prevalent in the working world. No longer are the days of "entry level employment". The degree in the 'school of hard knocks' no longer applies, you have to have an actual degree from a college or university to become something that is considered a career. Flipping burgers is a job, being a doctor is a career....
When I was growing up, I had some pretty strict parents and for good reason. They wanted their kids to have more than what they have out of life. My mom never finished high school because her parents put her to work to support the family. Times were different back then and I can see how history is capable of repeating itself. Money was tight, in order to survive the great depression of the era, people put their dreams on hold of a higher education and sought out any work to bring in a wage. Children were taking jobs to help support the family. What we see as tough in today's age is nothing in comparison to that major crash of the economy. My dad was off fighting in WWII in Austria. I remember him telling me stories about his experience. Life was hard back then. Struggling like that makes a person hope for bigger and better things for their children. Since my parents were so strict and I feared getting a good old fashioned whack for misbehaving, I took everything that my parents told me as a serious rule to follow.... Put your education first!! Focus and do your best and with effort and hard work, you can become something great. I hit the honor roll here and there, I even became a little lazy here and there when it came to schoolwork. I was far from perfect, but I avoided getting a belt across my backside. Fear is what made me driven. As for DH, I am not sure why he had no fear of punishment, but he loved to be the class clown.
That is what I am up against when it comes to DD. She loves being the class clown and makes each day at school a place to hone her comedic skills. I have been getting plenty of notes from school about this and I feel that I am at an impasse. How do I correct this? Back in the day, I was driven by fear of getting painfully punished if I did not do well in school. Nowadays, people have become more passive when it comes to punishments. Hitting is no longer allowed. Taking away privileges is not as effective because today's child just does not care. I have tried reason, but how can a person reason with a child that refuses to listen? Kids are prone to being in a constant 'feel good' state of mind. They do whatever seems to be fun and pleasurable. The focus on what is important is lax. I remember thinking that my parents were just off their rocker when it came to telling me what is important and what is not. Believe me, for a while, I thought my name was "your'e grounded" because of my defiant times. I thought I knew it all back then. Now I know different. I just don't know how to get that point across to my good child with defiant tendencies. Things are so different in comparison to when I was growing up. I wonder if she will figure a way to get to her child to listen when she becomes a mother. I fear that the fact is in everyones life, we tend to know more after the fact, but cannot get the younger generation to listen and learn from our mistakes.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Well.... DUH!
Morning folks! I have been quiet for a few days because I really had nothing to blog about.
Well, today I decided to get this little tidbit off my chest.....
Ever wonder why people have a tendency to state the obvious as a question? Are they really asking for you to have a Bill Engvall response of "here's your sign" at the end? Or is it that they are so unsure about the obvious that they ask anyway? There just happens to be times when everyone is going through basically the same thing and asking the obvious is what I like to call a "Well...DUH!" moment.
Here is my.... "Well... DUH" moment....
Been talking to the doctor a lot this winter. Nope, I am not a hypochondriac, I just have been feeling quite "off" lately. I have been fighting a cold that turned into a sinus infection and then into bronchitis for the past month or so. The antibiotics appear to not be enough because I just can't shake this darn cough. Believe me, I have long periods of zero cough, but once the urge rises to the occasion.... woah Nelly, I sound just awful. I am not one to complain about being sick because I really do not want to be seeking sympathy or those, "get well real soon" comments on my Facebook wall. Getting sick in the winter is just a fact of life. I know that I am not contagious, so I can do all the things I need to do and be around people. I made sure of that because what I have been going through is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
Besides that cough that does not want to go away, my female issue has made a repeat performance. Darn thing is late again and I sought out more information regarding getting this thing back to normal. The discussion with the doctor became a "well...DUH!" moment when he mentions that stress could be the culprit in why my body is consistently running late and needing another round of pills that I hate to take to become somewhat normal again. This person had the courage to ask me if I am suffering from stress... REALLY?!?! STRESS?!?! I proceeded to tall the good old doc that stress is what gets me up in the morning and keeps me up half the night.
Really, how does one control stress?
Is it exercise? Well, I have not been feeling well and I know that my luck consists of getting sick every time I go to the gym. My current winter cold should be the indication that I have tried that already.
Is it taking a vacation? HA! The economy crushed that concept. We forgot to budget out for a vacation since we are just making enough to survive in our own home.
Aromatherapy? No dice for me. Seems to do nothing to crack that wall of stress except make my house smell like lavender. Seems to knock out DH. He seems to nap all day while I am wide awake.
Talking it out? Trying that, but it does not seem to ease up if you are thinking out it enough to talk about it.
Getting a massage? HA! Cannot afford that.
Going for a walk? HA! My whole body aches so much that moving around my house even hurts. I have been downing Advil like tic-tacs, using Ben-Gay so much, I smell like minty gum. Still can't seem to get relief.
Letting loose with a good cry? HA! I actually tried this morning and was not surprised that I have zero tears to shed.
I truly believe that if the events in my life were to go right for once, if I did not have to swallow down yet another disappointment, and get an actual break... Maybe I could lower the stress enough to feel a bit better. Sadly, I am internally suffering, things never seem to go right no matter how I try and getting a break from constantly being on my A-Game is not an option. Darn hormones are really messing with me and I am not prepared to get DH to learn how to duck and run just yet. Just gotta remember to breathe and be thankful that I at least woke up above ground. Baby steps is necessary. It just has to get better, right?
Well, I did share one sarcastic thought with the good old doc..... "I would not be so stressed if my hormones that seem to be sluggish or misfiring as I was told and felt normal for once.... I think I would be a little less stressed. Now, in your infinite wisdom doc, how do you fix that without pills and have this happen naturally?" Well, he was stumped.
Well, today I decided to get this little tidbit off my chest.....
Ever wonder why people have a tendency to state the obvious as a question? Are they really asking for you to have a Bill Engvall response of "here's your sign" at the end? Or is it that they are so unsure about the obvious that they ask anyway? There just happens to be times when everyone is going through basically the same thing and asking the obvious is what I like to call a "Well...DUH!" moment.
Here is my.... "Well... DUH" moment....
Been talking to the doctor a lot this winter. Nope, I am not a hypochondriac, I just have been feeling quite "off" lately. I have been fighting a cold that turned into a sinus infection and then into bronchitis for the past month or so. The antibiotics appear to not be enough because I just can't shake this darn cough. Believe me, I have long periods of zero cough, but once the urge rises to the occasion.... woah Nelly, I sound just awful. I am not one to complain about being sick because I really do not want to be seeking sympathy or those, "get well real soon" comments on my Facebook wall. Getting sick in the winter is just a fact of life. I know that I am not contagious, so I can do all the things I need to do and be around people. I made sure of that because what I have been going through is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
Besides that cough that does not want to go away, my female issue has made a repeat performance. Darn thing is late again and I sought out more information regarding getting this thing back to normal. The discussion with the doctor became a "well...DUH!" moment when he mentions that stress could be the culprit in why my body is consistently running late and needing another round of pills that I hate to take to become somewhat normal again. This person had the courage to ask me if I am suffering from stress... REALLY?!?! STRESS?!?! I proceeded to tall the good old doc that stress is what gets me up in the morning and keeps me up half the night.
Really, how does one control stress?
Is it exercise? Well, I have not been feeling well and I know that my luck consists of getting sick every time I go to the gym. My current winter cold should be the indication that I have tried that already.
Is it taking a vacation? HA! The economy crushed that concept. We forgot to budget out for a vacation since we are just making enough to survive in our own home.
Aromatherapy? No dice for me. Seems to do nothing to crack that wall of stress except make my house smell like lavender. Seems to knock out DH. He seems to nap all day while I am wide awake.
Talking it out? Trying that, but it does not seem to ease up if you are thinking out it enough to talk about it.
Getting a massage? HA! Cannot afford that.
Going for a walk? HA! My whole body aches so much that moving around my house even hurts. I have been downing Advil like tic-tacs, using Ben-Gay so much, I smell like minty gum. Still can't seem to get relief.
Letting loose with a good cry? HA! I actually tried this morning and was not surprised that I have zero tears to shed.
I truly believe that if the events in my life were to go right for once, if I did not have to swallow down yet another disappointment, and get an actual break... Maybe I could lower the stress enough to feel a bit better. Sadly, I am internally suffering, things never seem to go right no matter how I try and getting a break from constantly being on my A-Game is not an option. Darn hormones are really messing with me and I am not prepared to get DH to learn how to duck and run just yet. Just gotta remember to breathe and be thankful that I at least woke up above ground. Baby steps is necessary. It just has to get better, right?
Well, I did share one sarcastic thought with the good old doc..... "I would not be so stressed if my hormones that seem to be sluggish or misfiring as I was told and felt normal for once.... I think I would be a little less stressed. Now, in your infinite wisdom doc, how do you fix that without pills and have this happen naturally?" Well, he was stumped.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Note to self moment...
I try to be that kind of parent that is honest about everything to my daughter. If she happens to ask, I believe that she is ready to hear the truth. When it comes to most things, I am brutally honest and I will share facts that back up what I am talking about. The reason I do that is because even though she looks a lot like me, she is her father. I really do not know all that much about how mt husband was raised, but when it comes to his mother... she can do no wrong. I truly believe that if she was to tell him that the sky is purple, he would believe her. As for me, if I was to tell him that the sky is blue, he would think I am off my rocker. That is where I would have to take him outside and point his face towards the sky and help him come to the same conclusion that I have when I say that the sky is blue and not purple. Apparently, my knowledge does not hold water with him at times. I guess that is why when I complain about my back hurting, he thinks I have made it up. If only I could show him the pain I feel, then maybe he would take my word for it. Sadly, there is no test that can tell me, or better yet show him that I have back issues. Well, that is something for another story at another time.
Onward about being honest with my daughter. Well, there are some things that I try to be a little more vague in my answer. It is still the truth, but it does not include the gory details. I always believed that honesty is essential. If my daughter learns things through another avenue, it just might tarnish me in a way that I could not be trustworthy for advise. Trust is very important when you have a child. If they cannot trust you, then how do you know that you can trust them to make good judgments? Every child will make mistakes in life and every loving parent will be there for them. It is the protective parent that educates their child about the dangers and hopes that they listen. While some things may not actually be dangerous, but having a good solid base of knowledge helps them make better choices. Just telling your son or daughter to "say no to drugs", is not necessarily going to be enough to stop them accepting drugs from people that they call their friends. They need to understand about the honest risks and dangers with drugs. Letting them know that peer pressure is always going to be there, but it takes a stronger person to stand up for themselves. Real friends respect your decision.
Sheesh! Still not getting to my "note to self moment"... well, until now.
Yesterday, I took DD to the doctor for her check-up. I knew that this round was going to consist of getting a shot. DD hates shots and has perfected the fit of all fits that end up requiring a group of nurses to hold her still in order to give her a shot. Afterwards, DD proudly states that she got her shot and it was not all that bad...HA! That just drives me nuts when she does that. Well, she asked if she was going to get a shot today and I told her, "yes". She started asking other questions about when is she not required a shot for physicals and I can only tell her that physicals change after she hits puberty. Well, that just opened a can of worms that requested more information about puberty and what changes a girl goes through. I took a deep breath and started sharing about the physical changes; the growth of a 'chest', growing hair in places that did not have hair before, the menstrual cycle. Apparently, I should have left that talk to the doctor because she absolutely freaked!! Carrying on with tears in her eyes she states that she is afraid of growing up because she does not want to turn into a hairy Sasquatch with big feet. You see, at the ripe age of 11, she is one tall kid. She is 3 inches shorter than me and she wears the same size shoes. She knows that she is still growing and really hates being one of the tallest kids in class. Just add some hair in a few choice places and she is calling herself a freak. Oh joy! The talk about the menstrual cycle was just as bad. Now she thinks she is going to become a bloody, hair covered freak with big feet.... UGH!
As I shook my head, dreading the honest discussion I decided to let happen... I have decided that from now on, I will let the doctor tell her the really grotesque details about a girl nearing puberty. That was my note to self moment.....
Onward about being honest with my daughter. Well, there are some things that I try to be a little more vague in my answer. It is still the truth, but it does not include the gory details. I always believed that honesty is essential. If my daughter learns things through another avenue, it just might tarnish me in a way that I could not be trustworthy for advise. Trust is very important when you have a child. If they cannot trust you, then how do you know that you can trust them to make good judgments? Every child will make mistakes in life and every loving parent will be there for them. It is the protective parent that educates their child about the dangers and hopes that they listen. While some things may not actually be dangerous, but having a good solid base of knowledge helps them make better choices. Just telling your son or daughter to "say no to drugs", is not necessarily going to be enough to stop them accepting drugs from people that they call their friends. They need to understand about the honest risks and dangers with drugs. Letting them know that peer pressure is always going to be there, but it takes a stronger person to stand up for themselves. Real friends respect your decision.
Sheesh! Still not getting to my "note to self moment"... well, until now.
Yesterday, I took DD to the doctor for her check-up. I knew that this round was going to consist of getting a shot. DD hates shots and has perfected the fit of all fits that end up requiring a group of nurses to hold her still in order to give her a shot. Afterwards, DD proudly states that she got her shot and it was not all that bad...HA! That just drives me nuts when she does that. Well, she asked if she was going to get a shot today and I told her, "yes". She started asking other questions about when is she not required a shot for physicals and I can only tell her that physicals change after she hits puberty. Well, that just opened a can of worms that requested more information about puberty and what changes a girl goes through. I took a deep breath and started sharing about the physical changes; the growth of a 'chest', growing hair in places that did not have hair before, the menstrual cycle. Apparently, I should have left that talk to the doctor because she absolutely freaked!! Carrying on with tears in her eyes she states that she is afraid of growing up because she does not want to turn into a hairy Sasquatch with big feet. You see, at the ripe age of 11, she is one tall kid. She is 3 inches shorter than me and she wears the same size shoes. She knows that she is still growing and really hates being one of the tallest kids in class. Just add some hair in a few choice places and she is calling herself a freak. Oh joy! The talk about the menstrual cycle was just as bad. Now she thinks she is going to become a bloody, hair covered freak with big feet.... UGH!
As I shook my head, dreading the honest discussion I decided to let happen... I have decided that from now on, I will let the doctor tell her the really grotesque details about a girl nearing puberty. That was my note to self moment.....
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Political correctness....
Okay, maybe it is because I am just in the testiest frame of mind, but I and the need to get this off my chest. If you do not agree with me, that is just fine, because this little rant is necessary today.
I tend to pay attention to the news and there are just a few things that seem to rub me the wrong way these days.....
Being "politically correct" aka PC, is getting a little out of hand. I understand that people should strive to be more polite when choosing their words in order to not offend anyone. I am all for a nicer existence. It is just that being PC is really watering down things to a point that integrity is being washed away in some areas and being created in others. Two complaints come to mind....
Everyone has a problem when it comes to religion and politics. Saying or even seeing the name GOD on anything is offending people that do not believe in a higher being. This is just a ridiculous way to complain about everything if you lack the fiber to accept things as they are. History states that the grand old U S of A was founded by Christian, God fearing folks that wanted a place that did not discriminate religious beliefs. In fact, their faith in God is what gave them the strength to seek a new land. Believing in a higher power is in each and every one of us. It can be recognized by various names through the teachings of various religions. The basis is the same, only the names are different. As I am not one to judge, but isn't acceptance taught to the masses? History is just that.... history, and changing history is basically turning your back on the truth and not accepting the core of our history.
Okay, that one down. One more to go....
I am an AMERICAN! I am not a Polish-American. I was born in America. My heritage is Polish. What is it with these people that tout that they are a multi racial person? Really, if I hear that one more person says that they are a (insert your heritage)-American, I think I just might snap. America is a 'mutt' nation. There is no pure heritage to being an American other than being born here or legally obtaining citizenship. People swim, claw and climb to come here for a better living from other countries. Some may take a boat, some a plane, some sneak over the border to get here. As Lady Liberty states, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.". Once you become an American, you are just that. Yep, we have our own heritage and being proud of it is every person's obligation. The hyphenating of the two is where I have a problem. I met a person not too long ago that stated that they are a Mexican-American. I felt compelled to ask where they were born and the answer I got only nails the concept that people choose to tout their heritage before the fact that they are American. This person was born in CLEVELAND, OHIO... not Mexico. I wonder how many people go to their "mother-land" and say that they are an American first in their hyphenated origin? Probably none. I just see this as another attempt to water down the true meaning of being an American.
I just wonder why people these days are so ashamed that they need to be so PC about it... We are all created equal, ya know.....
Food for thought.
I tend to pay attention to the news and there are just a few things that seem to rub me the wrong way these days.....
Being "politically correct" aka PC, is getting a little out of hand. I understand that people should strive to be more polite when choosing their words in order to not offend anyone. I am all for a nicer existence. It is just that being PC is really watering down things to a point that integrity is being washed away in some areas and being created in others. Two complaints come to mind....
Everyone has a problem when it comes to religion and politics. Saying or even seeing the name GOD on anything is offending people that do not believe in a higher being. This is just a ridiculous way to complain about everything if you lack the fiber to accept things as they are. History states that the grand old U S of A was founded by Christian, God fearing folks that wanted a place that did not discriminate religious beliefs. In fact, their faith in God is what gave them the strength to seek a new land. Believing in a higher power is in each and every one of us. It can be recognized by various names through the teachings of various religions. The basis is the same, only the names are different. As I am not one to judge, but isn't acceptance taught to the masses? History is just that.... history, and changing history is basically turning your back on the truth and not accepting the core of our history.
Okay, that one down. One more to go....
I am an AMERICAN! I am not a Polish-American. I was born in America. My heritage is Polish. What is it with these people that tout that they are a multi racial person? Really, if I hear that one more person says that they are a (insert your heritage)-American, I think I just might snap. America is a 'mutt' nation. There is no pure heritage to being an American other than being born here or legally obtaining citizenship. People swim, claw and climb to come here for a better living from other countries. Some may take a boat, some a plane, some sneak over the border to get here. As Lady Liberty states, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.". Once you become an American, you are just that. Yep, we have our own heritage and being proud of it is every person's obligation. The hyphenating of the two is where I have a problem. I met a person not too long ago that stated that they are a Mexican-American. I felt compelled to ask where they were born and the answer I got only nails the concept that people choose to tout their heritage before the fact that they are American. This person was born in CLEVELAND, OHIO... not Mexico. I wonder how many people go to their "mother-land" and say that they are an American first in their hyphenated origin? Probably none. I just see this as another attempt to water down the true meaning of being an American.
I just wonder why people these days are so ashamed that they need to be so PC about it... We are all created equal, ya know.....
Food for thought.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Acceptance
As one day ends
another approaches.
Embrace all the comes your way
with open arms and an open heart.
Accept everything graciously
that is offered to you.
The desire to be perfect in an imperfect world
is what drives us to keep trying.
There is work that still needs to be done
even when we feel that we have done all we could.
In retrospect, what we believe is perfection
is far from it in another's eyes.
Moments of boredom
are moments we forget the enjoyment of learning.
What appears stagnant on the surface
has tides and currents that keep moving.
Never seen
but can be felt.
As we toss the pebble in the calm waters
it's echoes of movement stretch far and wide.
Life is not contained in a box
and is not contained by the walls that shelter us.
Our existence is ever moving forward
touching the lives of others, stretching far and wide.
Undeniable forces guide us
to make choices in what is right.
Accept the twists and turns in life
for that we can say we have one to live.
Good, bad or indifferent
it is a result to experience and remember.
Each breath we take
makes us stronger.
Strength is not measured
by what we can lift, but by what we can carry.
The burdens of life
are the weights we carry.
~The undesirable words we hear.
~The cruel actions of another.
~The moments of loneliness.
~Fighting for what is right and still losing the battle.
As a phoenix rises from the ashes
we overcome the devastation.
The sun will shine again upon our faces,
a new day is upon us.
May today be a day filled with love, hope,
and acceptance.
Peace :)
another approaches.
Embrace all the comes your way
with open arms and an open heart.
Accept everything graciously
that is offered to you.
The desire to be perfect in an imperfect world
is what drives us to keep trying.
There is work that still needs to be done
even when we feel that we have done all we could.
In retrospect, what we believe is perfection
is far from it in another's eyes.
Moments of boredom
are moments we forget the enjoyment of learning.
What appears stagnant on the surface
has tides and currents that keep moving.
Never seen
but can be felt.
As we toss the pebble in the calm waters
it's echoes of movement stretch far and wide.
Life is not contained in a box
and is not contained by the walls that shelter us.
Our existence is ever moving forward
touching the lives of others, stretching far and wide.
Undeniable forces guide us
to make choices in what is right.
Accept the twists and turns in life
for that we can say we have one to live.
Good, bad or indifferent
it is a result to experience and remember.
Each breath we take
makes us stronger.
Strength is not measured
by what we can lift, but by what we can carry.
The burdens of life
are the weights we carry.
~The undesirable words we hear.
~The cruel actions of another.
~The moments of loneliness.
~Fighting for what is right and still losing the battle.
As a phoenix rises from the ashes
we overcome the devastation.
The sun will shine again upon our faces,
a new day is upon us.
May today be a day filled with love, hope,
and acceptance.
Peace :)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Truth Serum.....
Howdy ho!!
After last nights adventure with some of my friends, I noticed something that I would not normally even give a second thought about.... Everyone knows that drinking a beer or two is known as 'downing some liquid courage'. Especially, when you are in a bar and it is Karaoke night. People love to sing, but not normally with a large crowd of people around. Some are quite confident that they can sing, others are never really sure. Other times people tend to seek out some liquid courage is when they are on 'the hunt'. You know what I mean... Getting the courage to talk to a really attractive person that you do not know... yet.
Well, as for me, it is not really necessary to have courage, but to let my sarcastic abilities to run free. To crack some rather good jokes and laugh without abandon. On every other normal day, I tend to remain on the reserved side. Sure, I can crack a joke here and there, I can be sarcastic, but it actually takes a fair amount of energy on my part to so that without the help of liquid courage. As for singing in a Karaoke bar, beer just relaxes me enough to just have fun with it.
I just did not notice that alcohol is a really effective truth serum and a quite convincing way to notice a persons insecurities. Even the most confident person on the outside has things that they hide from the world, but tend to not notice that having some liquid courage sets those insecurities free for others to see. It has been said that drunk words are sober thoughts, but what happens when you are not drunk at all? This is where I see alcohol as being a really interesting form of truth serum without ever speaking a word.
Just for fun last night, my BFF and I were taking pictures of our evening. It is a way to share the memories again and again. As we get older, we tend to forget things and pictures are just the trick to tell a story. Being the random bunch of goofs we are, we decided to try to capture pictures of very random things. Goofy faces were the draw of the evening. Smiling nice is so... average and staged. We wanted to explore what we are capable of. That is when the goofy pictures went right into seeing how sexy a person can be. My BFF and I believe that the truth is in the eyes, so we decided to try to give the camera the sexiest look possible.
Here are my findings.....
You can tell the difference between a single person and a married person. Well, at least in the case between my single BFF and my married self, the difference is really noticeable. As we tried to shoot our best 'come hither' look in our eyes, it is quite obvious that I no longer have the talent to flirt with my eyes. I looked quite tired in a few pictures and even drunk in a few others, even my smile looked strained. What made this interesting is that I was neither drunk or tired. What appeared in the camera was the look of deeply hidden honesty about my confidence level. Even with my hair looking really good and my makeup is perfectly in place, my eyes told the truth that I am a very uncomfortable person in my own skin. I do not see myself as attractive anymore. As I have looked at old pictures of myself when I was young and single, there was a level of confidence in my eyes that was quite attractive. Since after getting married and becoming complacent in my surroundings, I settled. I lost that oomph that I had, my inner awesome is gone. Well, after having a child causes undeniable weight gain, I am not as happy as I could be and it definitely shows. Self loathing has made me lazy and detached from who I am capable of becoming.
I just wonder how I can fix that. Is it something that I really need to fix? Is it something that I should fix? This is who I am, like it or not, but if that truth serum is showing me what is really on the inside that I tend to hide, why would I accept this? What is the answer? I guess it is back to the drawing board to figure this one out.....
After last nights adventure with some of my friends, I noticed something that I would not normally even give a second thought about.... Everyone knows that drinking a beer or two is known as 'downing some liquid courage'. Especially, when you are in a bar and it is Karaoke night. People love to sing, but not normally with a large crowd of people around. Some are quite confident that they can sing, others are never really sure. Other times people tend to seek out some liquid courage is when they are on 'the hunt'. You know what I mean... Getting the courage to talk to a really attractive person that you do not know... yet.
Well, as for me, it is not really necessary to have courage, but to let my sarcastic abilities to run free. To crack some rather good jokes and laugh without abandon. On every other normal day, I tend to remain on the reserved side. Sure, I can crack a joke here and there, I can be sarcastic, but it actually takes a fair amount of energy on my part to so that without the help of liquid courage. As for singing in a Karaoke bar, beer just relaxes me enough to just have fun with it.
I just did not notice that alcohol is a really effective truth serum and a quite convincing way to notice a persons insecurities. Even the most confident person on the outside has things that they hide from the world, but tend to not notice that having some liquid courage sets those insecurities free for others to see. It has been said that drunk words are sober thoughts, but what happens when you are not drunk at all? This is where I see alcohol as being a really interesting form of truth serum without ever speaking a word.
Just for fun last night, my BFF and I were taking pictures of our evening. It is a way to share the memories again and again. As we get older, we tend to forget things and pictures are just the trick to tell a story. Being the random bunch of goofs we are, we decided to try to capture pictures of very random things. Goofy faces were the draw of the evening. Smiling nice is so... average and staged. We wanted to explore what we are capable of. That is when the goofy pictures went right into seeing how sexy a person can be. My BFF and I believe that the truth is in the eyes, so we decided to try to give the camera the sexiest look possible.
Here are my findings.....
You can tell the difference between a single person and a married person. Well, at least in the case between my single BFF and my married self, the difference is really noticeable. As we tried to shoot our best 'come hither' look in our eyes, it is quite obvious that I no longer have the talent to flirt with my eyes. I looked quite tired in a few pictures and even drunk in a few others, even my smile looked strained. What made this interesting is that I was neither drunk or tired. What appeared in the camera was the look of deeply hidden honesty about my confidence level. Even with my hair looking really good and my makeup is perfectly in place, my eyes told the truth that I am a very uncomfortable person in my own skin. I do not see myself as attractive anymore. As I have looked at old pictures of myself when I was young and single, there was a level of confidence in my eyes that was quite attractive. Since after getting married and becoming complacent in my surroundings, I settled. I lost that oomph that I had, my inner awesome is gone. Well, after having a child causes undeniable weight gain, I am not as happy as I could be and it definitely shows. Self loathing has made me lazy and detached from who I am capable of becoming.
I just wonder how I can fix that. Is it something that I really need to fix? Is it something that I should fix? This is who I am, like it or not, but if that truth serum is showing me what is really on the inside that I tend to hide, why would I accept this? What is the answer? I guess it is back to the drawing board to figure this one out.....
Friday, February 18, 2011
The time I worked at a strip club.....
Now, you all can get your minds out of the gutter and wipe that image from your head that I was a stripper. Being naked in public is a major phobia of mine... That is why you would never see me at a nudist colony.
Well, today, I was at a client's home. This client is now homebound because both her and her husband have lost their driving privileges and driving to a salon is no longer an option. Every week, she calls me in to do her hair. They are an elderly couple and still like to look nice even though they are stuck at home. Well, I also think they like to have some company. I know I would if I was trapped within the same four walls - day in, day out - I would welcome having some people over.
My client was feeling bad about making me travel to her home every week and wondered if it is normal practice for me to do this for her. I explained to her that being a person in the service industry, you need to be flexible in where you work, especially in these tough economic times. People are doing whatever it takes to make ends meet. It is all about survival of the fittest. If the tree does not bend, it will snap. I have had my fair share of jobs that I was never really proud of, but nothing I could never talk about. Just after saying that, I decided to tell her about the time I worked at a strip club. The look on her face was priceless. I obviously am not the type to strip for money, but just saying that I worked at one definitely made her wonder. I definitely had to clarify the meaning of that statement.
Years ago, I worked at a salon that was trying to expand its client base. On site services was what the owner thought would be the thing to push them over the top. The owner was not a hairdresser in any sense of the word, but she was an amazing sales person. She traveled all around, trying to find an avenue that was never thought of for selling hair and makeup services. She met the owner of a local strip club and gave him a really impressive sales pitch to have her salon showcase their employees talents in his business. Needless to say, he was quite interested in her pitch and hired her salon to being in 2 hairdressers and 2 makeup artists to do mini makeovers on the strippers that work for him. He felt he needed to make his place just a little more classy since the girls that work there had no clue how to do their hair or makeup for work. I guess having a rockin' body is not enough in that line of work.
I have to admit, I never stepped in a strip club that only had women as the performers. It was never on my bucket list of life to go to one, but if I did, I can definitely scratch that off my list. Quite an uncomfortable place for me to visit, but a job is a job.
You see, I was one of the 4 people called in to do that on site job. I did makeup on at least a half dozen girls. I got to know their stories of how and why they are in that profession. I can tell by the look in their eyes that they were ashamed of their choice, but once you talked to them, you learn how brave they were for doing whatever it takes to make ends meet. Some were college students, others were single mothers from broken homes that did what they could to feed their babies. Bad relationships seemed to be commonplace for these girls, but they all believed that things will get better. That job was just a temporary thing to them. Pretty amazing to learn something that changes your perspective of a person. That experience definitely drove home the fact that there is always more to the book than its cover..... Life is such an adventure.
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