Who am I?

Have you ever wondered how to answer the question...  "who am I?"


I have wondered it for quite a while.  I guess that is why I felt compelled to blog.  There are some things people can relate to, other things are just my random thought process.  Sometimes I make sense of it all and others, I know it would make a person scratch their head in confusion.  I did enjoy writing short stories and poetry in my younger days.  I was told I had a real talent for that.  I just happened to have let that talent slip away for years and now I feel a bit at a loss of really getting it back.  I guess it is probably because who we are as a person changes.  In my youth, I thought I knew myself pretty well.  Now, as I am obviously older, I think I never really knew myself all that well.


You see, a majority of what we know about ourselves is all based on emotional reactions and our experiences.  We all tend to believe in something greater, we all have things we like and dislike about ourselves, and our reactions differ greatly to the world around us.  Upon meeting a person for the first time, we tend to make judgments and conclusions about a person.  Some call it "impressions", but in the grand scheme of it all, we are making judgments.  What one person sees as a flaw, others might see it as a characteristic that makes them different.  That ranges from appearance to intellect.  People tend to react to what they see and really miss out on some interesting and educational things in life.  The following two old sayings still ring true today.....


"Never judge a book by its cover".... and....  "What you see is not necessarily what you get."


Here are some things I have managed to learn about myself and felt like sharing.  If I sound confusing, it is because I am confused, too......


I am a giving soul.  I tend to go out of my way for people without expectations in return, but I do feel hurt when my efforts are unappreciated.  I am compassionate about others feelings, but tend to take things way too seriously.  I think about others before I think of myself.  I tend to embrace criticism more than compliments; I am my toughest critic.  I am not materialistic, but I do appreciate nice things.  At times, I seem brazen or bold, but I will fight for what I believe in.  I love challenges, but I am not a risk taker.  I love the simple things in life, but I am willing to take on complexities.  There are times I may seem like a loner, but those are the times I turn to introverted thinking.  I strive to be liked by all, but accept that not everyone likes me.  I tend to seem emotional, but that is my way of being honest with my feelings.  At times, I may seem tough, but it is my way to face my fears and insecurities.  I have been called names, but I do try accept that there is hatred and jealousy out there..  I have been called infantile, but I see it as fighting getting older.  I have been called stupid, but at least I am trying to learn.  I am not perfect, but I will never stop trying to be better than before.  I make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes it takes me a few times to finally learn the lesson.  I am a chameleon, I relate to many and have plenty of friendships, but I am not popular.  I try to think of others feelings before speaking, but I can be really mean when I decide to let loose.  I desire to feel loved, but I am too proud or scared to ask.  I love the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.  I want to be completely carefree and wild, but still be safe.  I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a friend.  I am a good girl with a soft spot for being bad...  I guess that is why people tend to call me "trouble".


There is much more I need to learn.  Life is a journey and a worthwhile one.  It is all in how you look into it.....  Have a great day everyone :)