Morning! Today's installment of "flossing" comes to you from....
"Really? (scratching my head)... and you think that is gonna work?"
Okay, I will try to be brief with this since I am aching everywhere from yesterday's 4 rounds of shoveling the white nightmare that others would call "snow". On a lighter note from that.... I do not think I will be needing to hit the gym for the rest of the week. Everything is worked into agony, thank you very much.
Lets begin... shall we?
DH's most recent visit to the doctor for his preventative care which consists of a few tests (blood, weigh-in, listen with a stethoscope, check blood pressure, and chat of when he is to return again), resulted in being told that he needs to lose 10 pounds to get his cholesterol in check. Otherwise, he is a picture of health. According to the doctor, he has slightly elevated cholesterol numbers and with the last round of taking a cholesterol medication to get his numbers down ended up affecting his liver oh, so slightly... he was promptly taken off the cholesterol medication. According to this doctor, losing 10 pounds will fix his cholesterol situation, but probably does not factor in that there is a family history of issues and this problem is most likely genetic instead of diet related. Of course, I am not a doctor and DH refuses to have me involved with his doctor appointments to speak my mind (since I am apparently so opinionated, HA), so I need to accept what is said and trust that DH is serious about his health as well as trust that the doctor is making the best judgement call for his health. My only responsibility is to prepare healthy meals that should benefit his health and say nothing else. Trust me... that is one tall order since he is such a picky eater.
While walking through the grocery store just a few days ago, I watched DH avoid his usual weekly snack of chips or nuts. He is the only person I know that is strict when it comes to portion control and can make a bag of Doritos last a week, and I wondered what that was all about. It was then I was told that he needs to lose 10 pounds before his next doctor's visit to see if that would solve his cholesterol issue, that in his eyes is minor at best. All I thought was..... Really? Just that one minuscule change in your eating is going to get you to lose 10 pounds and rectify the situation? Heck, if it is that easy.... think of all the other issues (non-health related, of course), you can solve! You, sir, are a genius!! Now, to get him to expand that picture just a little and see if it could work....
If giving up one thing to make another thing better is the solution... then why is it so difficult for him to take that idea and apply it to the communication issues we have, the arguments he starts, and the complaints that he seems to have an endless supply of? How about expanding that just a bit more to how he manages to hurt my feelings and treats me in an unappreciative way when he has "just a few beers" on a Friday night? If the solution is so simple, then why has he not bothered with at least trying?
Here are some prime examples.... When he complains that he has no clean socks, he could go with the easy solution and put his darn dirty socks in the hamper for me to take and wash for him instead of leaving them on the floor by his side of the bed. When he gets frustrated that there is a dish in the sink, he could go the easy route and think that his wife has plenty to deal with and just wash that darn offensive dish in the sink for her. Or when he sees his wife in near tears over feeling unappreciated, he could go the easy route and do something nice just for her to make her feel better than bark the ever-so-famous "what crawled up your ass today" comment or even the one that hurts even more than that.... "that is just stupid thinking" when I try to share my feelings or an idea to be helpful. Heck, a random act of kindness can be the solution... as long as it was coming from the heart and not told to do so from someone else. I understand that the days of wooing the one you love pretty much ends the day you marry the person, but just showing that you appreciate them goes so much farther than a trinket or flowers on the usual quasi holidays of birthday, anniversary, and Christmas (and this does not include the Hallmark of holidays of Sweetest Day or Valentines Day).
I can only assume that the simplicity of the plan is actually doing a little something to change the outcome, and you have to have the desire to actually do something about it. Darn shame that it took a doctor to get DH to try a little harder for his health, but where is the intervening force that gets him to do something for the someone that does so much for him willingly and without question... I really do not know. The few moments of offering something that can be given freely (like holding my hand while taking an evening stroll), while inconsistent, were ideas forwarded to him by people that apparently have more influence on him than myself... and that leaves everyone except myself in that demographic. Pretty sad, don't you think? That simple solutions end up being used as bargaining chips when it only benefits themselves. That hand holding scenario happened only once because he wanted to drag me along on one of his evening walks. That hug I nagged for while being goofy in the grocery store was too embarrassing for him to even try. Public displays of affection are just to yucky in his opinion and are discouraged.
Well, time to pop more Advil. I feel a headache coming on and the last dose is wearing off for the body aches from shoveling sloppy, heavy snow all day yesterday. Have a good day everyone!
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