The games people play.....

Perceptions, reputations and opinions are all the rage these days.  What a person perceives rarely ever is true to fact, reputations are based upon opinions, and opinions are based from jaded thoughts stemmed from personal disappointments.  Be forewarned people!!!  There happens to be a new class of backstabbers out there working their voodoo and nobody has been the wiser!!  Nice people finish last and the squeakiest wheel gets the stockpiled oil, so to speak.  What makes this even harder to share is the notion that there are a special breed of people that seem to thrive on misery and opinions.  It is those that choose to build the walls that manage to function, albeit wary of others in protection that do end up becoming something very similar to lack of caring.  Even the concept of drama-creators that benefit solely from their chaotic-creating abilities can benefit them while leaving the rest in the dust.

I have been slowly becoming one of those people that refuse to fight for what is right for me anymore.  I believe it is from the constant barrage of negativity piled upon my shoulders that I have accepted as a part of life.  I have started to believe that conformity is better than standing up and demanding answers.  While I secretly wish I could be the center of attention that is adored by all, I know that I just do not have any more fight in me to claw my way to the top of the heap.  Nope, I am accepting the lowest form of existence because I am too tired to fight anymore.  I am considering having the word "welcome" tattooed on my forehead to avoid the process of getting walked on and just let the final result happen rather quickly.

While I would absolutely love to share my thoughts today about this subject, I was informed that what I happen to share will be scrutinized as well as read in such a fashion that some certain people will believe I am writing about them.  Heck, regardless of what I choose to share is considered relate-able and can blur the lines of sharing my personal thoughts as well as my thoughts of others and I just do not have it in me to explain myself anymore.  Basically, I am just too tired to do much these days, but would prefer to have a fully quiet few days that allows me to do things I enjoy instead of things I have grown to loathe.  I think after sharing this blog... I just might do just that.

With that being said....  I will say this....  I know I chose the path I am on and it is up to me to choose another path.  That complaining will get me nowhere as well as remaining compliant.  I know that I show examples to those that refuse to understand as well as take the initiative and grab responsibility by the horns and do what needs to be done.  I have heard of just about every "I am woman, hear me roar" bit of advice as well as the Freudian concept to the root of why people do the things that they do to me and everywhere in between.  I am just too tired to care anymore.  As the saying goes.... "It is what it is, and there is nothing more to it", has become almost a mantra that I hear in my mind.  All I can do these days is wait it out and hope I come across another person that chooses to believe in their gut I am worthy or even have those in my life realize that I am worthy and valued.  Sadly, society has made life a game of epic proportions; from friendships to family to careers and what people happen to see when they look at you.  Heck, I deal with that within the confines of my own home and I still come up short for consideration.  I am just a body that does stuff and never achieves success, appreciation or opportunity.  I am hopeful that someday I will be worthy to someone or even someplace, but I am not a game player, so I wonder.....  where does a genuine person happen to fit?

Thanks for reading.  Sorry it was nothing groundbreaking or even knowledgeable that offers a solution.  It is just my feelings for the day....well, the past year or so.  It just seems to be weighing down upon me more and more these days.  Well, have a nice day everyone and I hope you find happiness.