Back in 2008, I was at my wits end when it came to one of my responsibilities.... managing the family finances. Normally, I handled it quite well. We balanced each month and the bills were always current and/or paid off in a remotely short amount of time. That is, until DH decided to not keep me on-board with his paychecks (or sudden lack thereof). You see, the economy was heading for a very sharp decline and businesses were folding left and right. In order for DH to keep his garage open (and keep his employees earning a paycheck while remaining gainfully employed), DH agreed (along with his business partner) to take a HUGE pay cut. The catch? NOT TELL HIS WIFE OF THIS HUGE PAY CUT!!
With the bills pouring in of things that we never planned for... we spent a lot of money trying to save the life of our German Shepherd, Molly, that ended up not working out as planned, and was working on paying off the emergency vet bills that ended up being paid via my credit card. The only thing we can say with certainty is that our loving little (okay, not so little-- she was 90 pounds of solid muscle) furbaby was a survivor of bloat (when the stomach flips upon itself and strangles the animal from the inside - if you read Marley and Me, you would understand), and was recently (back then) free from cancer on her liver (which was found while she had stomach surgery, but operated on much later). It was her heart that failed her in the end. Trust me.... if we had the money.... we would have done just about anything to help her to survive a little longer. It broke my heart into a million tiny pieces when I was the last one she laid eyes on as we put her down. Still hurts today and that happened almost 5 years ago. While I had the bills and their payments figured out with what I thought we were bringing in, I was dealing with far less money coming in. With the mortgage and utilities to deal with beyond purchasing food for the family, we barely had enough coming in to keep afloat. I talked with DH about this problem and he kept avoiding the subject in his nonchalant way, That is, until I snapped when our savings account was just about completely depleted and we still were waiting for DH's paychecks that were missing to come in. That day, I decided to give DH "the big boy pill", and handed him the checkbook, the bills, and a list of expenses that did not offer much of a paper trail (like the weekly grocery shopping and potential co-pays for doctor visits and necessary medicines on any given month with DD's asthma along with his annual "fishing trip" cost). Needless to say... DH grew up pretty darn fast, but not in the way I figured. He really showed me his frugality, but still lacked the essential details to make this plan work better.
You see, I am the one that usually finds the best deals for everything. If it was not for me..... DH would blindly keep paying roughly 10% (if not more) in interest on the mortgage that he signed for. Yep, Mr. Smarty Pants thought he can swing a Balloon Mortgage because the initial rate was so incredibly low, but never looked much farther to realize that once the balloon term expires... the rate goes up rather fast (and continues to do so). I was the one that researched fixed rate mortgages and found the best deal to save us some money. Then there is the cable bill, the phone bill, and internet. I took advantage of the best deal possible to save us roughly $100 a month in costs. I suggested a change in insurance companies for the cars, but obviously I was ignored. That is, until DH's business partner pointed him out to a new agent and carrier that saved us roughly $400 (and possibly more) a year. With my determination to prove that groceries are not cheap, I dragged him with me to multiple grocery stores for the best savings on our regular staples of food. Heck, going shopping as a family is a regular thing now. We plan for the week, make a list and stick to the list. In the 14 years of marriage, we have only taken 3 vacations and are avoiding doing any more since it costs a bundle to travel, but when we did..... I managed to find the best deal possible and budgeted every aspect of the trip.
I figured that DH got the clue by now..... with 5 years of showing him to keep an eye on things, he could look into one simple thing..... to keep an eye on where our money goes when it comes to the bank. Apparently even that task is ignored and when he got a letter from the bank that fees will be applied to both our checking and savings accounts.... he finally wakes up!! Of course, I had to give him a lesson in banking practices last night. What he thought was a simple savings account is actually a Money Market account that has a minimum balance we are obviously not meeting. Our checking account has requirements that he never paid much attention to and is on the verge of fees since the minimum balance is much higher than what we actually have. After driving home the concept that we can get slammed with fees to the point that what we thought we had becomes the bank's to keep and that our bills will yet again suffer because of it.... he is now asking me to step up and be the deal finder again. Apparently, I am no longer the moron in this union, but that bitter pill is really hard for him to swallow. While I am thankful that I am finally getting some credit for doing the right thing.... I just wonder why it takes so stinking long for him to see that I am not stupid? Heck, his ignorance to details has been raking us over the coals for as long as I can remember. Quite frustrating, if you ask me, but there you have it.
Now, in closing.... I know that there is an even easier solution, but very difficult to obtain.... I need to be more financially supportive. That means... I need to get a job to assist in the finances. The only problem with that simple solution is..... getting hired. I have been trying for the past 5 years to get a job to help with the finances. I have tried every avenue that does not require a college degree (since I only have a trade school degree and state license for Cosmetology -- aka hairdresser). While I can easily get a job at another salon with more hours... it does not guarantee a bigger paycheck. Hair salons and hairdressers are a struggling breed. We have zero perks, no guaranteed livable wage, and absolutely zero guarantee of consistent work. We only make money when we actually do work and with the economy in such a slump..... hair services are considered a luxury instead of a necessity. I have been trying with retail stores, specialty stores, temp agencies, and even the local school districts for what most would think is "grunt work", but I keep getting passed up for the opportunity. Of course, it is not just me looking for work.... there are thousands looking, too. Kind-of kills my odds of getting something stable remotely soon. I have not given up, though. I am still trying. But in the mean time.... I just try to do everything I can to avoid leaving a financial burden on my family. My family's needs come before mine and I have the holes in my clothes to support that statement. DH bought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas a couple of years back and it only has the free apps on it. I check out books at the library for free to read. I am trying to diet with foods that are on sale, and trust me.... diet foods are NEVER on sale. I rarely, if ever, see my friends in a social setting. I have to save what tip money I make from my part-time hairdressing job to afford to go out. I did get called in to do some hall monitor work the other day, but that $60 check (after taxes) is going directly to helping with the finances. It is not much, but it is all I can offer right now. I can only hope that I can finally get hired at one of the local schools, but after dozens of applications being sent out and no offer.... I just can't imagine holding my breath for a break. If it is random calls to come in to work the only opportunity? I can't complain about it.
Oh well, back to doing housework and shoveling for the third time since the accumulation of heavy snow that fell yesterday is not going to shovel itself. According to the weather report.... we are due to get more over the next week or so. Then, I can do some more housework since I live with a pair of clutter bugs that have zero tendencies to pick up after themselves. Later today, I will be closing our minuscule savings account and move it to another bank that offers a lower minimum balance to avoid fees, and then off to seek out options for our checking account, too. The minimum requirement there increased by a third and we just do not have the money to meet that requirement. I have a bank in mind, but I need more information before I present my findings to DH for the final decision of what to do next.
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