The gauntlet has been thrown.....

I am a fairly reasonable person when it comes to my parenting skills.  I manage to listen, to rationalize, and even understand my child.  Heck, I was her age once.... once.  I have a clue what is going on.  The stages of maturity that every person goes through, well, the ones that people choose to embrace.  I am married to the biggest child around.  DH has managed to be more child-like than adult in my eyes.  He enjoys his fun time, he reverted back to being a slob, and he sure does prefer TV over the occasional book for entertainment.  If someone was to ask him what was the last book he managed to read.... he would tell you that he read the schematics for the electrical system of a Ford or Chevy something-or-other.  Obviously, job related, you know.  If it was anything that offered a story to tell...  he would probably mention something he managed to struggle through as a required reading item back in the days he was a student in high school (I see him not enjoying the literary history of Shakespeare's works... if that was required for him in the high school he attended).  Regardless of what DH chooses to do or not, he is not the reason I feel compelled to throw the gauntlet and battle the beast that happens to be wrapped up in the package of a lovely teenage girl that I labored for 13 hours to bring into this world.  Nope, this is all about my Darling Daughter (DD).

I know I raised a good kid (so far), but when it comes to the clashing of the minds.....  she is far from a lovely child.  It is apparent that in my generous, albeit enabling tendencies, I have been far too reasonable and I am paying for it at every turn..... literally.

I have managed to keep her environment clean, tidy, organized, and well tended to for far too long.  This past year, I have fought tooth-and-nail to stick to my convictions that she needs to take on a little more responsibility when it comes to her things.  I recall trying once and watched in horror at her determination to wash her own clothes.  While I figured all those years of seeing her watch me do this task that she would have a good grasp on how it is done should be easy to let her do that task on her own....  I was more wrong than I ever imagined.  That one time ended up costing me roughly $350 in new clothes to replace what she destroyed.  Who knew she thought I used bleach on colors?  AND pouring such a strong item on dry clothes just placed in the washer to boot?  Oh, the adding of detergent and fabric softener at the same time sure did not decrease the damage potential to that overstuffed load of laundry.  After that debacle, I knew it was going to take even more explicit instructions for her to understand how to do a task that I apparently thought was as simple as washing your hands in the sink.  Besides that lesson she is does not pay attention to details when it comes to housework, laundry in general, that literal shell out of cash for new clothes also gave me a one-way ticket to the dog house with DH.  Spending money is a huge no-no in his eyes, but after he realized it was for our daughter.... his anger level disappeared.  He is willing to spend money on her.  Me, on the other hand, can survive just fine on the clothes I had during my pregnancy, the painfully smaller stuff from before getting pregnant or items so worn out that there are more holes than common sense.  Enough about my shortcomings.... this is about the battle between DD and I, darn it!!

So with lessons from the past firmly planted in my mind, I decided to give DD the opportunity to want compared to expect a clean and organized environment.  And with that want.... she would actually do what is necessary to achieve it on-her-own.  I figured her first task would be her oasis from life in our home..... her bedroom.  She spends hours and hours in that space.  It is the first place she sees when she wakes up and the last place she sees before closing her eyes at night.  She prefers to do her homework there (I really have no clue why), she takes snacks to eat there, she sleeps, gets dressed and basically hangs out there.  When her friends come over.... they even hang out in there.  Oh, sweet Jesus!  Her friends see this disaster!  Normally, I keep it remotely clean, but recently, as I have mentioned already, I placed that responsibility in her hands.  Lately, she keeps her room door shut, so I respect her privacy and do not have to look at the mess she has created, but those few times I have entered that bomb testing area to put her clean clothes away has finally rubbed my last nerve raw.  She and I are in a battle of wits over this thorn in my side.

Recently, I agreed to letting her redecorate her room.  Thinking it would get her to clean it, I spent about $100 on things she felt she needed (a new full length mirror that hangs on the backside of her door, a new laundry hamper, a different concept of a headboard to take place of the one she wanted removed, and some new storage containers for books, papers and such).  Well, that $100 was a waste since her room is not clean still.  Well, it was a little cleaner... just a little.  Still painfully disorganized, but I figured it was only a matter of time that she would get it done.  That was over a month ago!!  Now she is demanding a new sheet set for her bed.  After many repeated washes over the past year, her sheets are shredding before my eyes.  I am fully aware of it, but I figured her need for new sheets outweighs everything else and I could finally get her to clean her room.  With doors slamming every time I tell her I would get her a new sheet set once her room is clean, I am beginning to develop an ulcer with my determination to stand firm this time.  I figured that once she has her room clean enough to earn those new sheets, I would up the bonus factor and get her a desk since she prefers to do her homework in her room.  I even found one at a fairly reasonable price ($40 at Wal-Mart), and would love to get it for her, but she is standing even firmer than I am regarding the cleanliness of her room.

The last straw was last night!  DD decided to hand me the envelope (sans report card) to sign so she can take it back to school.  I flat out refused to sign something that I have not seen and yet another argument of semantics over why the report card is missing and if it can ever be found.  Makes my stomach turn and churn such a high level of acids that I feel physically sick.  I know I have access on-line to see her report card, but it is the principle that if she kept her stuff in order.... we would not be arguing over missing things and a disaster of a room.  I even stopped doing her laundry to get a clue of how serious I am, but since her lesson in how to do the laundry (yes, I took the time to explain the procedure to her so she can do it on her own), she now has loads of laundry sitting in the washer and dryer with taking clothes out of the dryer on an as-needed basis (obviously not folding or putting away being done here).  UGH!  So after I finish this.....  I will be cleaning her room my way and she is not getting new sheets because of it.  Her laptop (technically, it is mine) is taking a nice long vacation from her room, and a daily room check will be done daily.  If I find anything out of place, it will be put in a garbage bag for prompt removal.  At the rate she can trash a room.... she will be left with just furniture by the end of the week.  Yep, this little bundle of joy broke this camel's back....  the gauntlet has been thrown and I will win because I am older, wiser, and meaner than she could ever imagine (when pushed, that is, and I have been pushed into the deep end).

With that in mind.....  I guess I should warn DH that I am on the warpath.  Once I finish with her.....  his slob-like ways are next.  He is perfectly capable to clean up after himself.  I have seen it.

Well, I have roughly 6 hours to get this done.  The chiropractor is on speed dial and the Advil is on the counter.  Time to get it done!!!