Good morning friends! I have not been blogging much these days because I have been blissfully busy. Well, blissful that a good chunk of being busy consisting earning money while doing it. Yep, I was called in to work for a few days as a substitute student supervisor. I have to say.... I have a new found respect for the job. I certainly did not need to go to the gym to get a workout.... I spent a lot of time on my feet wandering the halls and climbing stairs. What I found so interesting is that my first impression of the job was far less than actually doing the job. Besides the hours on my feet (of which I am used to anyway from being a hairdresser and housewife that really hates sitting down), it was mentally taxing as well with the constant need to be alert. Most likely from being a new experience and a different environment is where the mentally taxing part comes to play. Just the notion of being around kids happen to be exhausting to adults.... all that energy going on sure reminds me that I am definitely getting older. Believe me.... I enjoyed the opportunity and look forward to being called in again.
Sadly, there is a price that needs to get paid when this do-it-all housewife takes on a roughly 8 hour work day outside the house. I am painfully behind in my duties at home and not once was there an offer to help pick up the slack where it was needed most. My house is a disaster area and overwhelming to me to the point that I just shut down and dread what I have in store to get done.
I did, though, get a little help from DD. She tries to help when it comes to making dinner. With the Lenten season in full swing, our Friday meals are getting a bit repetitive because of the picky eaters I deal with daily. Yep, potato pancakes are the Friday meals during Lent. Well, I do make a couple of fish fillets for DD and myself, but the main thing is making potato pancakes.... and a lot of them. I think I go through a 10 pound bag of potatoes a week and roughly 8 pounds of them are for making potato pancakes. The other two I believe are used for baked potatoes that DD makes for a snack or I use to make hash browns on Sunday with for the family breakfast, but the guess of those 2 pounds is questionable. I swear, I think it is more like 9 pounds that are committed to becoming potato pancakes, but I never weighed them to be sure. What I did appreciate (and still do) is DD's determination to peel all those potatoes for me before I got home from working. Not real thrilled that I come home to a sink full of dishes that need to be washed, the lazy lack-a-doodle ways my family leaves stuff around the house, or the notion that my daughter feels it is motivational to watch horror movies while peeling potatoes, but if I have to walk in to a house that has some slasher flick from Netflix playing.... I am happy that part of my cooking job is at least started.
What becomes even more taxing on the already taxed mind and tired body is the necessary need to try to clean the house before DH comes home. That look in his eyes of utter frustration that the June Cleaver he married cannot keep up with keeping the house clean just hurts my feelings. I warned him that if I was to go back to work full time during the week, something will be suffering in its wake.... the first to suffer is the housework since I obviously live with two clutter bugs that refuse to step up and help keep the house clean. With spills, drips, dribbles, and drops of crumbs of food (or clothes, or shoes, or papers, or garbage, or dirty dishes).... Keeping my house remotely clean is a full time job in itself. I will admit that my closets are painfully disorganized and with the door closed..... nobody is the wiser that there is always a mess somewhere.
The recent snowfall that happened over the past couple of days was probably the final straw that broke my back. Not in the literal sense, but generally speaking. That white stuff people call snow was not fluffy or light and a fair amount of it fell before I could get to doing the shoveling. I was working a half day and it took me almost an hour to get home in those white-out conditions. I still had to make dinner, I had a sink-full of dishes to deal with (shocker), and the shoveling needed to be done before DH came home. Along with a migraine coming on (the pressure behind my eyes was immense) and trying to control a stress-induced anxiety attack from driving home practically blind.... I planted myself on the couch in shut down mode yet again from being overwhelmed with what I needed to get done. Finally feeling able to breathe once DD got home from school safely, I started tackling the dinner chore. Once I finished making that, I looked at the clock and realized that I better get going with the shoveling (my headache killed my appetite for food) because DH was due to be home shortly. I tried to use the snow blower (the one I can start easily), and it jammed almost instantly with the heavy snow. Sighing, I struggled with the bigger snow blower that is more difficult for me to start, and even that one jammed up after one pass in the driveway. I grabbed a shovel and started shoveling. With each heavy load on the shovel, I felt my back tense up. Determined to at least clear where DH's truck parks before he got home and a path to the front door... I trudged on. An hour passed and I was not even half way through the task at hand and DH comes home. Thank goodness he decided to help me. He got the monster snow blower un-jammed and proceeded to help me. After roughly 10 minutes, he demanded he needed his gloves (which were lost in the messy front hall closet) and went in to the house to retrieve them. Another 30 minutes later (with the aid of DH, the snow blower, and some additional shoveling on his part), we got the job done to watch the snow yet pick up again to cover all our efforts. We went inside to finally eat dinner and he decides to share with me that there is a mess in the front hall from the closet while he searched (and did find) his gloves. I told him, "no worries, I'll clean it up", and walked into the biggest disaster I have ever seen. We were almost able to open the front door with that mess strewn about. Sigh, I tried to get it cleaned up and DH tells me that he really does not care about the mess and to just cram it back in the closet. I know better, but did as he asked since my back was locking up nicely.
It is day #2 of the mess that needs immediate addressing, and with my chiropractor visit yesterday.... I am afraid of the challenge. Luckily, I have not been called in today to work today (I was for yesterday and declined coming in which made me feel just awful about it), and I can finally focus on that task without being rushed. I have all day to take it slowly and not re-injure myself after getting adjusted back into balance.
Is there a moral to this story? Sure. It is letting people know that one person cannot do everything alone, but if they have to..... they need to accept that there is always a price to pay. It can be dealing with a messy house, it can be a co-pay for visiting the Chiropractor, it can be stepping up to help after their long day of work, or it can be all of the above. It is all about priorities and what you feel is more important, but to be patient and let time offer the opportunity to catch up when everything is regarded with the same level of importance. The silver lining to the house being a disaster is that I earned some money to help with the finances. While it is not consistent, nor stable, it is a welcome thing.
Have a great day everyone and thanks for reading :)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Finding loopholes....
Yesterday, I was sidetracked in my quest to clean DD's room, but got the much needed support when confronting DD yet again about the importance of taking better of her things as well as keeping her room remotely clean and organized. My mom needed some together time with me and I really had no problem with that. We went to lunch and did a little shopping. Of course, we spent most of the time venting over random things that nag at each of us from time to time. Nice little escape for me since I was pulled away from a day full of cleaning just one room in my house. Yep, I was at my breaking point and was going to just get the job done my way so I can focus on other things that need tending to.
Well, after my day with my mom was coming to a close, DD walks in the house after her day of school. She was not prepared to be bombarded with discussing the state of disarray her room still is and how she promised that she would take care of it. Trust me, I rarely ask for much these days. I usually do it on my own. It is a result of all the training I received from my family's lack of motivation to get things done around here. The spilled box of cereal was not going to clean itself up when DD knocked it over yesterday. She needed to catch the bus and apparently did not have 30 seconds to grab the kitchen broom and sweep it up. Same goes for the socks that landed on the floor of my already clean living room... It is obvious that dirty socks cannot take themselves to the hamper in the laundry room just mere steps away (10 to be exact because I counted it). Also, there was an empty bag that once held cheese cubes in it that could not leave the end table next to where DH sat and ate them the night before making it to the garbage can yet again 10 steps from where it sat (yep, counted the steps again on that one). The sink has dirty dishes in it, but the dirty knife that once was clean and in the drawer was sitting next to the sink, mere inches from the darn thing, could not be dropped in to join the other ones that mysteriously appeared after having all the dishes washed from the night before. I should know..... I washed the dishes myself, by hand since we do not own such a fancy devise in my house. Still needing to mop the kitchen floor of the tea drips from the refrigerator that appeared out of nowhere still needs to be done, but I digress..... I really needed to run away from the house for a little while to keep some sense of sanity happening between my ears. I just finished handling the small things that manage to appear shortly after my family was home and I really needed to get my frustrations in check.
As DD listens to my mother instilling the importance of a clean room to her, my mom suggests something that she never suggested to me in my youth..... to put in at least 30 minutes a day actually cleaning her room. That those 30 minutes a day will add up and before she knew it.... her room would finally be clean. Of course, my mom does not know about the inner workings of my teenage daughter's mind, and forgot to cover all bases and possible loopholes..... Sure, she can put in 30 minutes a day to clean her room, but it takes her mere seconds to trash it. The proof is in the rest of my house as she walks through it. Mayhem and foolishness follows her every step, leaving a mess in its wake. Remember the cereal I mentioned earlier? The dirty socks? Basically, her abilities to keep something remotely clean is like digging a hole and putting the dirt right back where she hauled it out from. She is the queen of doing a half-arsed job at finishing what she started. She put in a couple of loads of laundry to wash and dry, but she does not take the clean stuff out of the dryer to fold and put away. Nope, the dryer is now her personal wardrobe that she will pull from when she needs something to wear. I know of another person that does just that, but I refuse to give names to protect my hide from being skinned. Frustrated me to bits when they did this, but fortunately, that person does not live in my house. I now have one of my own to do that to me, and that is DD.
I truly believe that DD would make a great lawyer someday. When her wheels start turning to figure a way to weasel a way out of doing as asked, but making it appear that she is doing as asked.... it is a sight to see. I have called her out on it hundreds of times, and the argument over semantics makes my head hurt. She is relentless!
Well, with that information in mind, I talked to my mom this morning about just that. That her request, as reasonable as it appears, has loopholes that DD will fully take advantage of and she needs to reissue her suggested plan with the revisions that close those gaping loopholes that DD can find so easily and will use them to her advantage. I have decided that I will give DD one more week to get her room clean. As with her ability to weasel out of the responsibility, I have the resolve to let her take as much rope that is necessary to hang herself before taking the bull by the reigns and just do things my way. Trust me.... she will not be happy with what I have planned for doing this my way. With one week to plan my next step regarding that..... I have some time to chisel away at another project that has been nagging at me...... The two closets that manage to get crammed with stuff that should be better organized..... my linen closet and the front hall closet.
Well, after my day with my mom was coming to a close, DD walks in the house after her day of school. She was not prepared to be bombarded with discussing the state of disarray her room still is and how she promised that she would take care of it. Trust me, I rarely ask for much these days. I usually do it on my own. It is a result of all the training I received from my family's lack of motivation to get things done around here. The spilled box of cereal was not going to clean itself up when DD knocked it over yesterday. She needed to catch the bus and apparently did not have 30 seconds to grab the kitchen broom and sweep it up. Same goes for the socks that landed on the floor of my already clean living room... It is obvious that dirty socks cannot take themselves to the hamper in the laundry room just mere steps away (10 to be exact because I counted it). Also, there was an empty bag that once held cheese cubes in it that could not leave the end table next to where DH sat and ate them the night before making it to the garbage can yet again 10 steps from where it sat (yep, counted the steps again on that one). The sink has dirty dishes in it, but the dirty knife that once was clean and in the drawer was sitting next to the sink, mere inches from the darn thing, could not be dropped in to join the other ones that mysteriously appeared after having all the dishes washed from the night before. I should know..... I washed the dishes myself, by hand since we do not own such a fancy devise in my house. Still needing to mop the kitchen floor of the tea drips from the refrigerator that appeared out of nowhere still needs to be done, but I digress..... I really needed to run away from the house for a little while to keep some sense of sanity happening between my ears. I just finished handling the small things that manage to appear shortly after my family was home and I really needed to get my frustrations in check.
As DD listens to my mother instilling the importance of a clean room to her, my mom suggests something that she never suggested to me in my youth..... to put in at least 30 minutes a day actually cleaning her room. That those 30 minutes a day will add up and before she knew it.... her room would finally be clean. Of course, my mom does not know about the inner workings of my teenage daughter's mind, and forgot to cover all bases and possible loopholes..... Sure, she can put in 30 minutes a day to clean her room, but it takes her mere seconds to trash it. The proof is in the rest of my house as she walks through it. Mayhem and foolishness follows her every step, leaving a mess in its wake. Remember the cereal I mentioned earlier? The dirty socks? Basically, her abilities to keep something remotely clean is like digging a hole and putting the dirt right back where she hauled it out from. She is the queen of doing a half-arsed job at finishing what she started. She put in a couple of loads of laundry to wash and dry, but she does not take the clean stuff out of the dryer to fold and put away. Nope, the dryer is now her personal wardrobe that she will pull from when she needs something to wear. I know of another person that does just that, but I refuse to give names to protect my hide from being skinned. Frustrated me to bits when they did this, but fortunately, that person does not live in my house. I now have one of my own to do that to me, and that is DD.
I truly believe that DD would make a great lawyer someday. When her wheels start turning to figure a way to weasel a way out of doing as asked, but making it appear that she is doing as asked.... it is a sight to see. I have called her out on it hundreds of times, and the argument over semantics makes my head hurt. She is relentless!
Well, with that information in mind, I talked to my mom this morning about just that. That her request, as reasonable as it appears, has loopholes that DD will fully take advantage of and she needs to reissue her suggested plan with the revisions that close those gaping loopholes that DD can find so easily and will use them to her advantage. I have decided that I will give DD one more week to get her room clean. As with her ability to weasel out of the responsibility, I have the resolve to let her take as much rope that is necessary to hang herself before taking the bull by the reigns and just do things my way. Trust me.... she will not be happy with what I have planned for doing this my way. With one week to plan my next step regarding that..... I have some time to chisel away at another project that has been nagging at me...... The two closets that manage to get crammed with stuff that should be better organized..... my linen closet and the front hall closet.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The gauntlet has been thrown.....
I am a fairly reasonable person when it comes to my parenting skills. I manage to listen, to rationalize, and even understand my child. Heck, I was her age once.... once. I have a clue what is going on. The stages of maturity that every person goes through, well, the ones that people choose to embrace. I am married to the biggest child around. DH has managed to be more child-like than adult in my eyes. He enjoys his fun time, he reverted back to being a slob, and he sure does prefer TV over the occasional book for entertainment. If someone was to ask him what was the last book he managed to read.... he would tell you that he read the schematics for the electrical system of a Ford or Chevy something-or-other. Obviously, job related, you know. If it was anything that offered a story to tell... he would probably mention something he managed to struggle through as a required reading item back in the days he was a student in high school (I see him not enjoying the literary history of Shakespeare's works... if that was required for him in the high school he attended). Regardless of what DH chooses to do or not, he is not the reason I feel compelled to throw the gauntlet and battle the beast that happens to be wrapped up in the package of a lovely teenage girl that I labored for 13 hours to bring into this world. Nope, this is all about my Darling Daughter (DD).
I know I raised a good kid (so far), but when it comes to the clashing of the minds..... she is far from a lovely child. It is apparent that in my generous, albeit enabling tendencies, I have been far too reasonable and I am paying for it at every turn..... literally.
I have managed to keep her environment clean, tidy, organized, and well tended to for far too long. This past year, I have fought tooth-and-nail to stick to my convictions that she needs to take on a little more responsibility when it comes to her things. I recall trying once and watched in horror at her determination to wash her own clothes. While I figured all those years of seeing her watch me do this task that she would have a good grasp on how it is done should be easy to let her do that task on her own.... I was more wrong than I ever imagined. That one time ended up costing me roughly $350 in new clothes to replace what she destroyed. Who knew she thought I used bleach on colors? AND pouring such a strong item on dry clothes just placed in the washer to boot? Oh, the adding of detergent and fabric softener at the same time sure did not decrease the damage potential to that overstuffed load of laundry. After that debacle, I knew it was going to take even more explicit instructions for her to understand how to do a task that I apparently thought was as simple as washing your hands in the sink. Besides that lesson she is does not pay attention to details when it comes to housework, laundry in general, that literal shell out of cash for new clothes also gave me a one-way ticket to the dog house with DH. Spending money is a huge no-no in his eyes, but after he realized it was for our daughter.... his anger level disappeared. He is willing to spend money on her. Me, on the other hand, can survive just fine on the clothes I had during my pregnancy, the painfully smaller stuff from before getting pregnant or items so worn out that there are more holes than common sense. Enough about my shortcomings.... this is about the battle between DD and I, darn it!!
So with lessons from the past firmly planted in my mind, I decided to give DD the opportunity to want compared to expect a clean and organized environment. And with that want.... she would actually do what is necessary to achieve it on-her-own. I figured her first task would be her oasis from life in our home..... her bedroom. She spends hours and hours in that space. It is the first place she sees when she wakes up and the last place she sees before closing her eyes at night. She prefers to do her homework there (I really have no clue why), she takes snacks to eat there, she sleeps, gets dressed and basically hangs out there. When her friends come over.... they even hang out in there. Oh, sweet Jesus! Her friends see this disaster! Normally, I keep it remotely clean, but recently, as I have mentioned already, I placed that responsibility in her hands. Lately, she keeps her room door shut, so I respect her privacy and do not have to look at the mess she has created, but those few times I have entered that bomb testing area to put her clean clothes away has finally rubbed my last nerve raw. She and I are in a battle of wits over this thorn in my side.
Recently, I agreed to letting her redecorate her room. Thinking it would get her to clean it, I spent about $100 on things she felt she needed (a new full length mirror that hangs on the backside of her door, a new laundry hamper, a different concept of a headboard to take place of the one she wanted removed, and some new storage containers for books, papers and such). Well, that $100 was a waste since her room is not clean still. Well, it was a little cleaner... just a little. Still painfully disorganized, but I figured it was only a matter of time that she would get it done. That was over a month ago!! Now she is demanding a new sheet set for her bed. After many repeated washes over the past year, her sheets are shredding before my eyes. I am fully aware of it, but I figured her need for new sheets outweighs everything else and I could finally get her to clean her room. With doors slamming every time I tell her I would get her a new sheet set once her room is clean, I am beginning to develop an ulcer with my determination to stand firm this time. I figured that once she has her room clean enough to earn those new sheets, I would up the bonus factor and get her a desk since she prefers to do her homework in her room. I even found one at a fairly reasonable price ($40 at Wal-Mart), and would love to get it for her, but she is standing even firmer than I am regarding the cleanliness of her room.
The last straw was last night! DD decided to hand me the envelope (sans report card) to sign so she can take it back to school. I flat out refused to sign something that I have not seen and yet another argument of semantics over why the report card is missing and if it can ever be found. Makes my stomach turn and churn such a high level of acids that I feel physically sick. I know I have access on-line to see her report card, but it is the principle that if she kept her stuff in order.... we would not be arguing over missing things and a disaster of a room. I even stopped doing her laundry to get a clue of how serious I am, but since her lesson in how to do the laundry (yes, I took the time to explain the procedure to her so she can do it on her own), she now has loads of laundry sitting in the washer and dryer with taking clothes out of the dryer on an as-needed basis (obviously not folding or putting away being done here). UGH! So after I finish this..... I will be cleaning her room my way and she is not getting new sheets because of it. Her laptop (technically, it is mine) is taking a nice long vacation from her room, and a daily room check will be done daily. If I find anything out of place, it will be put in a garbage bag for prompt removal. At the rate she can trash a room.... she will be left with just furniture by the end of the week. Yep, this little bundle of joy broke this camel's back.... the gauntlet has been thrown and I will win because I am older, wiser, and meaner than she could ever imagine (when pushed, that is, and I have been pushed into the deep end).
With that in mind..... I guess I should warn DH that I am on the warpath. Once I finish with her..... his slob-like ways are next. He is perfectly capable to clean up after himself. I have seen it.
Well, I have roughly 6 hours to get this done. The chiropractor is on speed dial and the Advil is on the counter. Time to get it done!!!
I know I raised a good kid (so far), but when it comes to the clashing of the minds..... she is far from a lovely child. It is apparent that in my generous, albeit enabling tendencies, I have been far too reasonable and I am paying for it at every turn..... literally.
I have managed to keep her environment clean, tidy, organized, and well tended to for far too long. This past year, I have fought tooth-and-nail to stick to my convictions that she needs to take on a little more responsibility when it comes to her things. I recall trying once and watched in horror at her determination to wash her own clothes. While I figured all those years of seeing her watch me do this task that she would have a good grasp on how it is done should be easy to let her do that task on her own.... I was more wrong than I ever imagined. That one time ended up costing me roughly $350 in new clothes to replace what she destroyed. Who knew she thought I used bleach on colors? AND pouring such a strong item on dry clothes just placed in the washer to boot? Oh, the adding of detergent and fabric softener at the same time sure did not decrease the damage potential to that overstuffed load of laundry. After that debacle, I knew it was going to take even more explicit instructions for her to understand how to do a task that I apparently thought was as simple as washing your hands in the sink. Besides that lesson she is does not pay attention to details when it comes to housework, laundry in general, that literal shell out of cash for new clothes also gave me a one-way ticket to the dog house with DH. Spending money is a huge no-no in his eyes, but after he realized it was for our daughter.... his anger level disappeared. He is willing to spend money on her. Me, on the other hand, can survive just fine on the clothes I had during my pregnancy, the painfully smaller stuff from before getting pregnant or items so worn out that there are more holes than common sense. Enough about my shortcomings.... this is about the battle between DD and I, darn it!!
So with lessons from the past firmly planted in my mind, I decided to give DD the opportunity to want compared to expect a clean and organized environment. And with that want.... she would actually do what is necessary to achieve it on-her-own. I figured her first task would be her oasis from life in our home..... her bedroom. She spends hours and hours in that space. It is the first place she sees when she wakes up and the last place she sees before closing her eyes at night. She prefers to do her homework there (I really have no clue why), she takes snacks to eat there, she sleeps, gets dressed and basically hangs out there. When her friends come over.... they even hang out in there. Oh, sweet Jesus! Her friends see this disaster! Normally, I keep it remotely clean, but recently, as I have mentioned already, I placed that responsibility in her hands. Lately, she keeps her room door shut, so I respect her privacy and do not have to look at the mess she has created, but those few times I have entered that bomb testing area to put her clean clothes away has finally rubbed my last nerve raw. She and I are in a battle of wits over this thorn in my side.
Recently, I agreed to letting her redecorate her room. Thinking it would get her to clean it, I spent about $100 on things she felt she needed (a new full length mirror that hangs on the backside of her door, a new laundry hamper, a different concept of a headboard to take place of the one she wanted removed, and some new storage containers for books, papers and such). Well, that $100 was a waste since her room is not clean still. Well, it was a little cleaner... just a little. Still painfully disorganized, but I figured it was only a matter of time that she would get it done. That was over a month ago!! Now she is demanding a new sheet set for her bed. After many repeated washes over the past year, her sheets are shredding before my eyes. I am fully aware of it, but I figured her need for new sheets outweighs everything else and I could finally get her to clean her room. With doors slamming every time I tell her I would get her a new sheet set once her room is clean, I am beginning to develop an ulcer with my determination to stand firm this time. I figured that once she has her room clean enough to earn those new sheets, I would up the bonus factor and get her a desk since she prefers to do her homework in her room. I even found one at a fairly reasonable price ($40 at Wal-Mart), and would love to get it for her, but she is standing even firmer than I am regarding the cleanliness of her room.
The last straw was last night! DD decided to hand me the envelope (sans report card) to sign so she can take it back to school. I flat out refused to sign something that I have not seen and yet another argument of semantics over why the report card is missing and if it can ever be found. Makes my stomach turn and churn such a high level of acids that I feel physically sick. I know I have access on-line to see her report card, but it is the principle that if she kept her stuff in order.... we would not be arguing over missing things and a disaster of a room. I even stopped doing her laundry to get a clue of how serious I am, but since her lesson in how to do the laundry (yes, I took the time to explain the procedure to her so she can do it on her own), she now has loads of laundry sitting in the washer and dryer with taking clothes out of the dryer on an as-needed basis (obviously not folding or putting away being done here). UGH! So after I finish this..... I will be cleaning her room my way and she is not getting new sheets because of it. Her laptop (technically, it is mine) is taking a nice long vacation from her room, and a daily room check will be done daily. If I find anything out of place, it will be put in a garbage bag for prompt removal. At the rate she can trash a room.... she will be left with just furniture by the end of the week. Yep, this little bundle of joy broke this camel's back.... the gauntlet has been thrown and I will win because I am older, wiser, and meaner than she could ever imagine (when pushed, that is, and I have been pushed into the deep end).
With that in mind..... I guess I should warn DH that I am on the warpath. Once I finish with her..... his slob-like ways are next. He is perfectly capable to clean up after himself. I have seen it.
Well, I have roughly 6 hours to get this done. The chiropractor is on speed dial and the Advil is on the counter. Time to get it done!!!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Books, covers, carts and horses.....
Old sayings like, "Never judge a book by it's cover", and "It is always a bad idea to put the cart before the horse", are bouncing around in my head today. Well, to be completely honest.... they have been bouncing around in my head for almost a week now, and it is fine time I blog about it so I can move forward with my day.
If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have plenty of little thorns in my side that make me cynical, sad, angry, frustrated, or even sarcastic at times. Usually, as each thorn gets removed... a new one is never far away. While I have learned that thorns are a part of life and meant to be dealt with or ignored, thus the blogging, I also learned that when it comes to thorns..... I am fortunate enough to not have such big thorns to deal with. Trust me that I am very thankful for that.
Well, this past week, I have managed to re-learn the phrase that all books should not be judged by their covers. That came to me during my stint as a hall monitor for a couple of days. Yep, I finally got called in to do some substitute work at the local high school district. It only took me 2 years of waiting patiently to get to this point. Talk about having the patience of a saint, huh? Well, I tend to look at this as being more determined to work with the system than try to force it in my direction. I am still applying for something more permanent, but at least getting called in to help..... I am doing my best to be seen as a good candidate to getting hired. This is because.... as elusive and exclusive the school district is regarding selecting a person to hire... they are extremely gun-shy of hiring a complete stranger and I get it. When it comes to the safety of our children... it is far more comforting to have a person that can have many vouch for their competence than just a few (or none). Sadly, I still have been turned down even with my handful of people already in that exclusive club that can vouch for me to begin with. Oh well, it appears that patience is my middle name (obviously not given to me by my parents, but just the same... it is who I have become).
With the experience from being called in three times so far..... yes, three times in my second year of being on the substitute list..... the phrase of never to judge a book by it's cover rang extremely true. Kids these days are struggling to fit in somewhere when it comes to the ever present cliques in social settings... such as school. Having gone through it in my youth, I can fully understand the notion. The in-crowd has a look and attitude that never gets ignored. While some kids are honed into being popular well before their first social situation, there are a greater number of kids that do their best to look the part, but not actually be the part. You know.... looking like a thug, but being an actual really good person under the external look.
I know that I can be opinionated at times and it is usually from personal experience, but when it comes to walking into an environment that I know virtually nothing about.... it is quite mentally exhausting to figure it all out at once. Always on my guard for potential mayhem, I remain wary and become an even deeper thinker than how I usually am on a normal day. After spending those three separate days with my thoughts and opinions over external appearances that ranged from thugs to girls looking a little too slutty walking those halls and wondering if the wrapping on the outside rings true to the person on the inside, I realized that there is far more relevance to avoid being opinionated than before. The external shell is what people make of themselves to seek acceptance, and in some cases, respect, but also tend to forget that the external look can also bring on less than desirable attention. That is where people need to take the chance to get to know a person before judging them or even placing them in a specific category.
With that knowledge being discovered, I did have the knot of concern that is in my gut get a little tighter. The fact is that DD, being a teenager not yet in the high school scene, is going to be exposed to the even more critical eye of her peers when she does get into high school. Heck, junior high (7th and 8th grade), is a transitional stage for kids. No longer the far calmer pace of elementary school, but not fully the hustle and bustle of high school or even the future of college. When I came home from my day of monitoring some halls, DD asked about my day and my thoughts of that environment. As I have always believed that if she asks a mature question, I believe she deserves an honest answer. I sat her down and asked her to do me one favor that is beyond the multitudes of favors that include cleaning her pigsty of a room.... I asked her to always remain true to who she is as a person and to never dress in a way to get attention that can easily be seen as something she is not. I have a good kid on my hands and I really would be upset if she dressed in a way to get attention that could become dangerous. There are tons of people out there in this great big world and there are people that will accept and respect her just the way she is without changing the wrapping to her appearance (aka package). Respect others and you get respect in return. People that do not respect you are not allowed to be in your life, so walk away and move forward with those that do.
Of course, I put the darn horse before the cart when I talked to her about appearances being the catalyst of judgement of character because my smart child reminded me that I buy what she wears and should not be concerned about how she dresses since I know what she owns. Obviously, I managed to forget that vital tidbit of information, but I did also mention that appearances are only part of what people think of others. It is also the actions you choose to take. After telling her of all the couples that kissed in the hallways that I managed to see..... I told her that I am not as ready to accept the notion of her having a boyfriend as I thought I was, but since her first boyfriend (yep, she has one), is painfully afraid of me.... I can at least breathe a little easier about that. I checked with my spies at the school and learned that all that happens between DD and her boyfriend is this.... he carries her books from time to time (being a gentleman), he holds her hand, talks with her, and at the end of the day before they get on their respective buses... they hug. I guarantee you this..... the moment I hear differently and he even hurts her feelings..... he gets to deal with the wrath of this mama bear and I am not all sweetness when I get riled.
Thanks for letting me have a flossing moment. Off to get some housework done. Have a great day everyone!
If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have plenty of little thorns in my side that make me cynical, sad, angry, frustrated, or even sarcastic at times. Usually, as each thorn gets removed... a new one is never far away. While I have learned that thorns are a part of life and meant to be dealt with or ignored, thus the blogging, I also learned that when it comes to thorns..... I am fortunate enough to not have such big thorns to deal with. Trust me that I am very thankful for that.
Well, this past week, I have managed to re-learn the phrase that all books should not be judged by their covers. That came to me during my stint as a hall monitor for a couple of days. Yep, I finally got called in to do some substitute work at the local high school district. It only took me 2 years of waiting patiently to get to this point. Talk about having the patience of a saint, huh? Well, I tend to look at this as being more determined to work with the system than try to force it in my direction. I am still applying for something more permanent, but at least getting called in to help..... I am doing my best to be seen as a good candidate to getting hired. This is because.... as elusive and exclusive the school district is regarding selecting a person to hire... they are extremely gun-shy of hiring a complete stranger and I get it. When it comes to the safety of our children... it is far more comforting to have a person that can have many vouch for their competence than just a few (or none). Sadly, I still have been turned down even with my handful of people already in that exclusive club that can vouch for me to begin with. Oh well, it appears that patience is my middle name (obviously not given to me by my parents, but just the same... it is who I have become).
With the experience from being called in three times so far..... yes, three times in my second year of being on the substitute list..... the phrase of never to judge a book by it's cover rang extremely true. Kids these days are struggling to fit in somewhere when it comes to the ever present cliques in social settings... such as school. Having gone through it in my youth, I can fully understand the notion. The in-crowd has a look and attitude that never gets ignored. While some kids are honed into being popular well before their first social situation, there are a greater number of kids that do their best to look the part, but not actually be the part. You know.... looking like a thug, but being an actual really good person under the external look.
I know that I can be opinionated at times and it is usually from personal experience, but when it comes to walking into an environment that I know virtually nothing about.... it is quite mentally exhausting to figure it all out at once. Always on my guard for potential mayhem, I remain wary and become an even deeper thinker than how I usually am on a normal day. After spending those three separate days with my thoughts and opinions over external appearances that ranged from thugs to girls looking a little too slutty walking those halls and wondering if the wrapping on the outside rings true to the person on the inside, I realized that there is far more relevance to avoid being opinionated than before. The external shell is what people make of themselves to seek acceptance, and in some cases, respect, but also tend to forget that the external look can also bring on less than desirable attention. That is where people need to take the chance to get to know a person before judging them or even placing them in a specific category.
With that knowledge being discovered, I did have the knot of concern that is in my gut get a little tighter. The fact is that DD, being a teenager not yet in the high school scene, is going to be exposed to the even more critical eye of her peers when she does get into high school. Heck, junior high (7th and 8th grade), is a transitional stage for kids. No longer the far calmer pace of elementary school, but not fully the hustle and bustle of high school or even the future of college. When I came home from my day of monitoring some halls, DD asked about my day and my thoughts of that environment. As I have always believed that if she asks a mature question, I believe she deserves an honest answer. I sat her down and asked her to do me one favor that is beyond the multitudes of favors that include cleaning her pigsty of a room.... I asked her to always remain true to who she is as a person and to never dress in a way to get attention that can easily be seen as something she is not. I have a good kid on my hands and I really would be upset if she dressed in a way to get attention that could become dangerous. There are tons of people out there in this great big world and there are people that will accept and respect her just the way she is without changing the wrapping to her appearance (aka package). Respect others and you get respect in return. People that do not respect you are not allowed to be in your life, so walk away and move forward with those that do.
Of course, I put the darn horse before the cart when I talked to her about appearances being the catalyst of judgement of character because my smart child reminded me that I buy what she wears and should not be concerned about how she dresses since I know what she owns. Obviously, I managed to forget that vital tidbit of information, but I did also mention that appearances are only part of what people think of others. It is also the actions you choose to take. After telling her of all the couples that kissed in the hallways that I managed to see..... I told her that I am not as ready to accept the notion of her having a boyfriend as I thought I was, but since her first boyfriend (yep, she has one), is painfully afraid of me.... I can at least breathe a little easier about that. I checked with my spies at the school and learned that all that happens between DD and her boyfriend is this.... he carries her books from time to time (being a gentleman), he holds her hand, talks with her, and at the end of the day before they get on their respective buses... they hug. I guarantee you this..... the moment I hear differently and he even hurts her feelings..... he gets to deal with the wrath of this mama bear and I am not all sweetness when I get riled.
Thanks for letting me have a flossing moment. Off to get some housework done. Have a great day everyone!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
A day in the life.....
Ever been in such a rut that even the usual stuff is so unappealing that you just want to pull your hair out and scream? Well, that is my life. It feels just like the movie "Groundhog Day" starring Bill Murray. The premise of the movie (as repetitive as it was) was having to live the same, predictable day over and over again until you just snap and do something about it. Sadly, my real life is not an exact repeat of the previous one, but there is a fair amount that does repeat itself. One day in particular is Sunday.
My Sunday is what normal folks call.... family day. This is when everyone in the family does things together. In my house.... the day goes like this.....
Wake up between 7 and 8 in the morning to DH already being up, coffee is made and the longing look in his eyes for breakfast to be made (by me, of course) STAT. I grab the usual breakfast stuff (eggs, hash browns, bacon or sausage, bread for toast) and begin my day as a short-order chef for my breakfast rush. Never is there a request for pancakes, waffles, oatmeal or any other normal breakfast food..... just eggs, hash browns, toast and the usual bacon or sausage. The only thing that makes making breakfast more of a diner/short-order chef event is how everyone wants their eggs (DH with sunny side up, DD with hers scrambled and mine never really mattered... cooked is fine with me).
After cooking everyone's breakfast, I sit down with pen and paper in hand.... yep, grocery list time. I learned rather quickly that if I try something new, it would not be welcomed as the tried and true choices for my two selective eaters and become leftovers that get forgotten in the refrigerator until garbage day if it is not approved by those that eat here. While DD is more health conscious (thank goodness), she is more open to fruits, vegetables and she likes chicken, but she turns her nose up at anything that has a sauce or gravy on it. Apparently, she prefers to put ranch dressing on everything.... so as long as it can remotely be appetizing with salad dressing on it.... she is okay with whatever. Now, DH is the hard one to please. He will eat whatever I make, but only truly appreciates the garbage food on the food pyramid (sausages, mac and cheese, frozen pizzas, pasta.... he will never be the first in line for anything that is a fruit or vegetable. In fact, he only likes certain vegetables and will question what is in the meal before even taking a taste.) So, in order to make my life remotely rewarding when it comes to feeding my family..... I have to ask what everyone would like for the one meal a day that I have to prepare (they are capable of pouring a bowl of cereal, making frozen waffles, or a sandwich), and build a grocery list from there. Beyond the usual staples of favorite beverages (tea and coffee for DH, and juice for DD), and what they like for lunch that they can make themselves.... I am left with the responsibility of dinner time.
Obviously, as if you did not notice..... we shop for a week at a time.... as a family. If there was a national disaster to where we are trapped in our home for an extended length of time.... we would not survive for very long (we have no food surplus stored here and no bottled gallons of water). Don't cry for me.... I am no longer the financial decision maker... I just work for free and get no appreciation for what I manage to achieve within the rigid parameters of those I work for.
Well, here is my dilemma..... I have been cooking in this house for 16 years (2 of them as an engaged woman and 14 of them as a wife with 13 of them being a wife and mother... so far), and with a spouse that was never made to eat anything beyond his realm of garbage (apparently, his mother was forced to conform).... I am getting really sick and tired of making (and consuming) the same stuff over and over again. I have pushed the creative envelope as far as I can with finding acceptable substitutions to make DH's choices less of a hazard to health and my waistline. Yep, I came to the conclusion today that DH is in a perpetual "food jag", like children go through. DD had one, so I am familiar with the sentiment. She refused to eat anything beyond hot dogs, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and corn for roughly 4 years. Thank goodness she broke out of that habit because hot dogs repulse me to no end. The smell of one makes my stomach turn. The sight of Kraft's unnatural cheese color for their mac and cheese had me concerned for potential glow-in-the-dark tendencies. I really do not mind chicken all that much, but having everything breaded just seems sacrilegious to me.
So with breakfast already done, the pen and paper at hand.... I am now searching the internet for recipes that can satisfy the demands of my family..... it needs to be cheap (we are on a budget, thus the need to drag the family along for the grocery shopping trip every week and the restrictive list), it needs to be healthy, but it needs to be appealing to the human garbage disposal that I lovingly call DH. With Lent starting next week, I now have to find options for our meatless Fridays as well as a meatless Ash Wednesday. DH already mentioned that he wants potato pancakes. Just thinking about all the prep work I go through (peeling and shredding potatoes a-plenty) is making my stomach turn. I am not a fan of a ton of pasta, either. I am not allowed to prepare fish here for the family (only DD and I like fish) because DH would rather starve than eat fish. While the thought is appealing to let him do just that.... I despise even more the whining that DH does when there is nothing for him to eat. Tofu is out of the question, too, in DH's selective taste buds. Zucchini, Eggplant, and Spinach is a no-no, too. He turns is nose up at mushrooms, DD turns her nose up at beans, and I am left with a nagging headache to deal with. This, my friends, is my Groundhog Day like the movie.
On a brighter note.... I did get the highest praise from a client yesterday. In fact, I got two of them. One is actually determined to refer her friends and family to come and see me for their hair care needs. Felt good to get a hug of appreciation for a job well done. At least someone appreciates what I do. Well, blogging about my woes is not getting the shopping list done, nor the migraine-inducing trip to the grocery store done any sooner..... So, with well wishes and salutations to all of you to have a wonderful day and the appreciative "thanks for reading my flossing moment".... I bid you adieu.
My Sunday is what normal folks call.... family day. This is when everyone in the family does things together. In my house.... the day goes like this.....
Wake up between 7 and 8 in the morning to DH already being up, coffee is made and the longing look in his eyes for breakfast to be made (by me, of course) STAT. I grab the usual breakfast stuff (eggs, hash browns, bacon or sausage, bread for toast) and begin my day as a short-order chef for my breakfast rush. Never is there a request for pancakes, waffles, oatmeal or any other normal breakfast food..... just eggs, hash browns, toast and the usual bacon or sausage. The only thing that makes making breakfast more of a diner/short-order chef event is how everyone wants their eggs (DH with sunny side up, DD with hers scrambled and mine never really mattered... cooked is fine with me).
After cooking everyone's breakfast, I sit down with pen and paper in hand.... yep, grocery list time. I learned rather quickly that if I try something new, it would not be welcomed as the tried and true choices for my two selective eaters and become leftovers that get forgotten in the refrigerator until garbage day if it is not approved by those that eat here. While DD is more health conscious (thank goodness), she is more open to fruits, vegetables and she likes chicken, but she turns her nose up at anything that has a sauce or gravy on it. Apparently, she prefers to put ranch dressing on everything.... so as long as it can remotely be appetizing with salad dressing on it.... she is okay with whatever. Now, DH is the hard one to please. He will eat whatever I make, but only truly appreciates the garbage food on the food pyramid (sausages, mac and cheese, frozen pizzas, pasta.... he will never be the first in line for anything that is a fruit or vegetable. In fact, he only likes certain vegetables and will question what is in the meal before even taking a taste.) So, in order to make my life remotely rewarding when it comes to feeding my family..... I have to ask what everyone would like for the one meal a day that I have to prepare (they are capable of pouring a bowl of cereal, making frozen waffles, or a sandwich), and build a grocery list from there. Beyond the usual staples of favorite beverages (tea and coffee for DH, and juice for DD), and what they like for lunch that they can make themselves.... I am left with the responsibility of dinner time.
Obviously, as if you did not notice..... we shop for a week at a time.... as a family. If there was a national disaster to where we are trapped in our home for an extended length of time.... we would not survive for very long (we have no food surplus stored here and no bottled gallons of water). Don't cry for me.... I am no longer the financial decision maker... I just work for free and get no appreciation for what I manage to achieve within the rigid parameters of those I work for.
Well, here is my dilemma..... I have been cooking in this house for 16 years (2 of them as an engaged woman and 14 of them as a wife with 13 of them being a wife and mother... so far), and with a spouse that was never made to eat anything beyond his realm of garbage (apparently, his mother was forced to conform).... I am getting really sick and tired of making (and consuming) the same stuff over and over again. I have pushed the creative envelope as far as I can with finding acceptable substitutions to make DH's choices less of a hazard to health and my waistline. Yep, I came to the conclusion today that DH is in a perpetual "food jag", like children go through. DD had one, so I am familiar with the sentiment. She refused to eat anything beyond hot dogs, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and corn for roughly 4 years. Thank goodness she broke out of that habit because hot dogs repulse me to no end. The smell of one makes my stomach turn. The sight of Kraft's unnatural cheese color for their mac and cheese had me concerned for potential glow-in-the-dark tendencies. I really do not mind chicken all that much, but having everything breaded just seems sacrilegious to me.
So with breakfast already done, the pen and paper at hand.... I am now searching the internet for recipes that can satisfy the demands of my family..... it needs to be cheap (we are on a budget, thus the need to drag the family along for the grocery shopping trip every week and the restrictive list), it needs to be healthy, but it needs to be appealing to the human garbage disposal that I lovingly call DH. With Lent starting next week, I now have to find options for our meatless Fridays as well as a meatless Ash Wednesday. DH already mentioned that he wants potato pancakes. Just thinking about all the prep work I go through (peeling and shredding potatoes a-plenty) is making my stomach turn. I am not a fan of a ton of pasta, either. I am not allowed to prepare fish here for the family (only DD and I like fish) because DH would rather starve than eat fish. While the thought is appealing to let him do just that.... I despise even more the whining that DH does when there is nothing for him to eat. Tofu is out of the question, too, in DH's selective taste buds. Zucchini, Eggplant, and Spinach is a no-no, too. He turns is nose up at mushrooms, DD turns her nose up at beans, and I am left with a nagging headache to deal with. This, my friends, is my Groundhog Day like the movie.
On a brighter note.... I did get the highest praise from a client yesterday. In fact, I got two of them. One is actually determined to refer her friends and family to come and see me for their hair care needs. Felt good to get a hug of appreciation for a job well done. At least someone appreciates what I do. Well, blogging about my woes is not getting the shopping list done, nor the migraine-inducing trip to the grocery store done any sooner..... So, with well wishes and salutations to all of you to have a wonderful day and the appreciative "thanks for reading my flossing moment".... I bid you adieu.
Friday, February 8, 2013
There is a very fine line between loyalty AND stupidity.....
Yet I need to blog a second time today because.... well, lets face it.... when it boils down to a chocoholic's scale of amount of chocolate to ease the stress of the day.... I am at a king-size candy bar kind-of day!!!! Light stress? A fun sized taste of chocolate will suffice. A medium level of stressful day? A regular sized candy bar. A mega frustrating stress filled day? A king sized candy bar. Anything beyond that is worthy of a walk in admission to the funny farm with the padded rooms and loving jackets that make you hug yourself. Fortunately, I am not ready to sign myself in for the funny farm just yet, but I feel I am getting pretty close.
In my earlier blog, I shared my thoughts, albeit 20/20 in hindsight, about what happens when you give someone "the big boy/girl pill". You know what I mean, right? It is handing over the responsibility to someone that needs a serious wake up call. Little did I know what I would be up against by doing that one thing......
So, I went to a few banking locations to look into minimum requirements, perks, and available services that we (meaning DH and I) currently are looking into. Obviously, I am not looking for awesome interest rates since... lets face it.... the interest rates are painfully insignificant. Well, I found a bank that offered more of what we can work with and their service record is exceptional. Yep, I even took it upon myself to get some feedback from some people I know about their banking institutions. With this one bank in mind, I meet with a personal banker and discuss what we are looking for. I got written information on all their services and left with this person's business card with plans to do some serious moving of everything we have from our current bank to that one. With all the proof that was needed to show DH that this move was a sound financial decision, I headed off to the garage where he works. Once I got there, I got my ear bent over my efforts. Apparently, DH has some serious loyalty issues when it comes to things. He hates change in any sense of the idea. After flinging his glasses across the garage and some very tense words, he decides to take a few minutes to make his decision and it was obviously not the sound decision that I presented to him. He decided to close the savings account, put the funds in our checking account, and be done with it. Yep, no change in institutions to avoid being charged fees every month until we have nothing left to offer.
With a frustrated sigh that I did as I was asked (to look into another bank for our money), and found the absolute best deal available for our needs... he states without stammering his words that he has been a loyal customer to the same bank for over 20 years and that he will go to the bank and talk to them about this fee situation. Apparently, he believes he can get special conditions for our accounts because of his loyalty to that bank. (As I am laughing because crying is not an option) I asked him to keep the information I sought out for him and let my thoughts spew from my mouth that he can have his business partner look over what I acquired and help him see the light since MY OPINION IS NEVER CONSIDERED FOR A VALID ARGUMENT. Of course, in my blacked out state of letting my mind spew out my thoughts, I believe I recalled asking him how it felt to be overpaying for our car insurance for at least several years beyond what I felt was necessary and that it took for his business partner to convince him to switch companies well after I put in those several years to show him that saving money on car insurance is possible, or when I felt darn near having a stroke due to high blood pressure to convince him that whomever told him a balloon mortgage was a good way to go when he bought the house we live in and never mention that a fixed rate is a far better choice, but if I left it well alone our mortgage payments would have quadrupled since signing the mortgage document if I did not step in and get us a really good fixed rate mortgage that saved us close to $500 a month in payments. Heck, if I did not look out for the bottom line that he claims that I apparently do not..... we would have been in a far worse state than we are right now. I have done far more for keeping us out of bankruptcy than I should ever get credit for, but apparently all it takes is for someone else to give the same idea as I have to get it done. I do remember clearly saying, as I walked out of the garage..... "being loyal to one business that continues to rake you over the coals is just plain stupidity and being lazy to do something about it makes you a moron that deserves to get the shaft." I doubt he hear me say that, but once I left and took care of what he wanted done with transferring the closed account funds to our checking account.... I stopped at the local 7-11 convenience mart and bought the king sized candy bar and shouted..... "DIET BE DAMNED!!"
After consuming that 440 calories of fat-ridden chocolate with peanut butter and flossing my mind for the second time..... I feel better now. Thanks for reading!
Side effects of giving "the big boy pill"....
Back in 2008, I was at my wits end when it came to one of my responsibilities.... managing the family finances. Normally, I handled it quite well. We balanced each month and the bills were always current and/or paid off in a remotely short amount of time. That is, until DH decided to not keep me on-board with his paychecks (or sudden lack thereof). You see, the economy was heading for a very sharp decline and businesses were folding left and right. In order for DH to keep his garage open (and keep his employees earning a paycheck while remaining gainfully employed), DH agreed (along with his business partner) to take a HUGE pay cut. The catch? NOT TELL HIS WIFE OF THIS HUGE PAY CUT!!
With the bills pouring in of things that we never planned for... we spent a lot of money trying to save the life of our German Shepherd, Molly, that ended up not working out as planned, and was working on paying off the emergency vet bills that ended up being paid via my credit card. The only thing we can say with certainty is that our loving little (okay, not so little-- she was 90 pounds of solid muscle) furbaby was a survivor of bloat (when the stomach flips upon itself and strangles the animal from the inside - if you read Marley and Me, you would understand), and was recently (back then) free from cancer on her liver (which was found while she had stomach surgery, but operated on much later). It was her heart that failed her in the end. Trust me.... if we had the money.... we would have done just about anything to help her to survive a little longer. It broke my heart into a million tiny pieces when I was the last one she laid eyes on as we put her down. Still hurts today and that happened almost 5 years ago. While I had the bills and their payments figured out with what I thought we were bringing in, I was dealing with far less money coming in. With the mortgage and utilities to deal with beyond purchasing food for the family, we barely had enough coming in to keep afloat. I talked with DH about this problem and he kept avoiding the subject in his nonchalant way, That is, until I snapped when our savings account was just about completely depleted and we still were waiting for DH's paychecks that were missing to come in. That day, I decided to give DH "the big boy pill", and handed him the checkbook, the bills, and a list of expenses that did not offer much of a paper trail (like the weekly grocery shopping and potential co-pays for doctor visits and necessary medicines on any given month with DD's asthma along with his annual "fishing trip" cost). Needless to say... DH grew up pretty darn fast, but not in the way I figured. He really showed me his frugality, but still lacked the essential details to make this plan work better.
You see, I am the one that usually finds the best deals for everything. If it was not for me..... DH would blindly keep paying roughly 10% (if not more) in interest on the mortgage that he signed for. Yep, Mr. Smarty Pants thought he can swing a Balloon Mortgage because the initial rate was so incredibly low, but never looked much farther to realize that once the balloon term expires... the rate goes up rather fast (and continues to do so). I was the one that researched fixed rate mortgages and found the best deal to save us some money. Then there is the cable bill, the phone bill, and internet. I took advantage of the best deal possible to save us roughly $100 a month in costs. I suggested a change in insurance companies for the cars, but obviously I was ignored. That is, until DH's business partner pointed him out to a new agent and carrier that saved us roughly $400 (and possibly more) a year. With my determination to prove that groceries are not cheap, I dragged him with me to multiple grocery stores for the best savings on our regular staples of food. Heck, going shopping as a family is a regular thing now. We plan for the week, make a list and stick to the list. In the 14 years of marriage, we have only taken 3 vacations and are avoiding doing any more since it costs a bundle to travel, but when we did..... I managed to find the best deal possible and budgeted every aspect of the trip.
I figured that DH got the clue by now..... with 5 years of showing him to keep an eye on things, he could look into one simple thing..... to keep an eye on where our money goes when it comes to the bank. Apparently even that task is ignored and when he got a letter from the bank that fees will be applied to both our checking and savings accounts.... he finally wakes up!! Of course, I had to give him a lesson in banking practices last night. What he thought was a simple savings account is actually a Money Market account that has a minimum balance we are obviously not meeting. Our checking account has requirements that he never paid much attention to and is on the verge of fees since the minimum balance is much higher than what we actually have. After driving home the concept that we can get slammed with fees to the point that what we thought we had becomes the bank's to keep and that our bills will yet again suffer because of it.... he is now asking me to step up and be the deal finder again. Apparently, I am no longer the moron in this union, but that bitter pill is really hard for him to swallow. While I am thankful that I am finally getting some credit for doing the right thing.... I just wonder why it takes so stinking long for him to see that I am not stupid? Heck, his ignorance to details has been raking us over the coals for as long as I can remember. Quite frustrating, if you ask me, but there you have it.
Now, in closing.... I know that there is an even easier solution, but very difficult to obtain.... I need to be more financially supportive. That means... I need to get a job to assist in the finances. The only problem with that simple solution is..... getting hired. I have been trying for the past 5 years to get a job to help with the finances. I have tried every avenue that does not require a college degree (since I only have a trade school degree and state license for Cosmetology -- aka hairdresser). While I can easily get a job at another salon with more hours... it does not guarantee a bigger paycheck. Hair salons and hairdressers are a struggling breed. We have zero perks, no guaranteed livable wage, and absolutely zero guarantee of consistent work. We only make money when we actually do work and with the economy in such a slump..... hair services are considered a luxury instead of a necessity. I have been trying with retail stores, specialty stores, temp agencies, and even the local school districts for what most would think is "grunt work", but I keep getting passed up for the opportunity. Of course, it is not just me looking for work.... there are thousands looking, too. Kind-of kills my odds of getting something stable remotely soon. I have not given up, though. I am still trying. But in the mean time.... I just try to do everything I can to avoid leaving a financial burden on my family. My family's needs come before mine and I have the holes in my clothes to support that statement. DH bought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas a couple of years back and it only has the free apps on it. I check out books at the library for free to read. I am trying to diet with foods that are on sale, and trust me.... diet foods are NEVER on sale. I rarely, if ever, see my friends in a social setting. I have to save what tip money I make from my part-time hairdressing job to afford to go out. I did get called in to do some hall monitor work the other day, but that $60 check (after taxes) is going directly to helping with the finances. It is not much, but it is all I can offer right now. I can only hope that I can finally get hired at one of the local schools, but after dozens of applications being sent out and no offer.... I just can't imagine holding my breath for a break. If it is random calls to come in to work the only opportunity? I can't complain about it.
Oh well, back to doing housework and shoveling for the third time since the accumulation of heavy snow that fell yesterday is not going to shovel itself. According to the weather report.... we are due to get more over the next week or so. Then, I can do some more housework since I live with a pair of clutter bugs that have zero tendencies to pick up after themselves. Later today, I will be closing our minuscule savings account and move it to another bank that offers a lower minimum balance to avoid fees, and then off to seek out options for our checking account, too. The minimum requirement there increased by a third and we just do not have the money to meet that requirement. I have a bank in mind, but I need more information before I present my findings to DH for the final decision of what to do next.
With the bills pouring in of things that we never planned for... we spent a lot of money trying to save the life of our German Shepherd, Molly, that ended up not working out as planned, and was working on paying off the emergency vet bills that ended up being paid via my credit card. The only thing we can say with certainty is that our loving little (okay, not so little-- she was 90 pounds of solid muscle) furbaby was a survivor of bloat (when the stomach flips upon itself and strangles the animal from the inside - if you read Marley and Me, you would understand), and was recently (back then) free from cancer on her liver (which was found while she had stomach surgery, but operated on much later). It was her heart that failed her in the end. Trust me.... if we had the money.... we would have done just about anything to help her to survive a little longer. It broke my heart into a million tiny pieces when I was the last one she laid eyes on as we put her down. Still hurts today and that happened almost 5 years ago. While I had the bills and their payments figured out with what I thought we were bringing in, I was dealing with far less money coming in. With the mortgage and utilities to deal with beyond purchasing food for the family, we barely had enough coming in to keep afloat. I talked with DH about this problem and he kept avoiding the subject in his nonchalant way, That is, until I snapped when our savings account was just about completely depleted and we still were waiting for DH's paychecks that were missing to come in. That day, I decided to give DH "the big boy pill", and handed him the checkbook, the bills, and a list of expenses that did not offer much of a paper trail (like the weekly grocery shopping and potential co-pays for doctor visits and necessary medicines on any given month with DD's asthma along with his annual "fishing trip" cost). Needless to say... DH grew up pretty darn fast, but not in the way I figured. He really showed me his frugality, but still lacked the essential details to make this plan work better.
You see, I am the one that usually finds the best deals for everything. If it was not for me..... DH would blindly keep paying roughly 10% (if not more) in interest on the mortgage that he signed for. Yep, Mr. Smarty Pants thought he can swing a Balloon Mortgage because the initial rate was so incredibly low, but never looked much farther to realize that once the balloon term expires... the rate goes up rather fast (and continues to do so). I was the one that researched fixed rate mortgages and found the best deal to save us some money. Then there is the cable bill, the phone bill, and internet. I took advantage of the best deal possible to save us roughly $100 a month in costs. I suggested a change in insurance companies for the cars, but obviously I was ignored. That is, until DH's business partner pointed him out to a new agent and carrier that saved us roughly $400 (and possibly more) a year. With my determination to prove that groceries are not cheap, I dragged him with me to multiple grocery stores for the best savings on our regular staples of food. Heck, going shopping as a family is a regular thing now. We plan for the week, make a list and stick to the list. In the 14 years of marriage, we have only taken 3 vacations and are avoiding doing any more since it costs a bundle to travel, but when we did..... I managed to find the best deal possible and budgeted every aspect of the trip.
I figured that DH got the clue by now..... with 5 years of showing him to keep an eye on things, he could look into one simple thing..... to keep an eye on where our money goes when it comes to the bank. Apparently even that task is ignored and when he got a letter from the bank that fees will be applied to both our checking and savings accounts.... he finally wakes up!! Of course, I had to give him a lesson in banking practices last night. What he thought was a simple savings account is actually a Money Market account that has a minimum balance we are obviously not meeting. Our checking account has requirements that he never paid much attention to and is on the verge of fees since the minimum balance is much higher than what we actually have. After driving home the concept that we can get slammed with fees to the point that what we thought we had becomes the bank's to keep and that our bills will yet again suffer because of it.... he is now asking me to step up and be the deal finder again. Apparently, I am no longer the moron in this union, but that bitter pill is really hard for him to swallow. While I am thankful that I am finally getting some credit for doing the right thing.... I just wonder why it takes so stinking long for him to see that I am not stupid? Heck, his ignorance to details has been raking us over the coals for as long as I can remember. Quite frustrating, if you ask me, but there you have it.
Now, in closing.... I know that there is an even easier solution, but very difficult to obtain.... I need to be more financially supportive. That means... I need to get a job to assist in the finances. The only problem with that simple solution is..... getting hired. I have been trying for the past 5 years to get a job to help with the finances. I have tried every avenue that does not require a college degree (since I only have a trade school degree and state license for Cosmetology -- aka hairdresser). While I can easily get a job at another salon with more hours... it does not guarantee a bigger paycheck. Hair salons and hairdressers are a struggling breed. We have zero perks, no guaranteed livable wage, and absolutely zero guarantee of consistent work. We only make money when we actually do work and with the economy in such a slump..... hair services are considered a luxury instead of a necessity. I have been trying with retail stores, specialty stores, temp agencies, and even the local school districts for what most would think is "grunt work", but I keep getting passed up for the opportunity. Of course, it is not just me looking for work.... there are thousands looking, too. Kind-of kills my odds of getting something stable remotely soon. I have not given up, though. I am still trying. But in the mean time.... I just try to do everything I can to avoid leaving a financial burden on my family. My family's needs come before mine and I have the holes in my clothes to support that statement. DH bought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas a couple of years back and it only has the free apps on it. I check out books at the library for free to read. I am trying to diet with foods that are on sale, and trust me.... diet foods are NEVER on sale. I rarely, if ever, see my friends in a social setting. I have to save what tip money I make from my part-time hairdressing job to afford to go out. I did get called in to do some hall monitor work the other day, but that $60 check (after taxes) is going directly to helping with the finances. It is not much, but it is all I can offer right now. I can only hope that I can finally get hired at one of the local schools, but after dozens of applications being sent out and no offer.... I just can't imagine holding my breath for a break. If it is random calls to come in to work the only opportunity? I can't complain about it.
Oh well, back to doing housework and shoveling for the third time since the accumulation of heavy snow that fell yesterday is not going to shovel itself. According to the weather report.... we are due to get more over the next week or so. Then, I can do some more housework since I live with a pair of clutter bugs that have zero tendencies to pick up after themselves. Later today, I will be closing our minuscule savings account and move it to another bank that offers a lower minimum balance to avoid fees, and then off to seek out options for our checking account, too. The minimum requirement there increased by a third and we just do not have the money to meet that requirement. I have a bank in mind, but I need more information before I present my findings to DH for the final decision of what to do next.
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