Fiber is NOT my friend ;)

Morning friends :)

As you all well know... I have been on a determined weight loss journey for a couple of months now.  Gotta just love that all so famous diet program called Weight Watchers.  Somehow, getting back into the swing of meetings and becoming familiar with "the plan" has brought up some memorable things that I thought would rather not share, but feel that I have to....

My last round with weight watchers was successful until I hit the mother-load of all plateaus and could not lose or gain a pound to save my soul and I ended up quitting without achieving my goal.  It was kind of nice to be able to eat anything and not see a change in the scale.  I have to admit, I enjoyed every Reeses Peanut Butter Cup that passed my lips and actually not counting every beer, burger, or slice of pizza with a sadness in my heart over the point values they offered was a nice change.  Sadly, living it up like that does have a price and it was gaining almost every pound I lost.  Luckily, I did not let it get that far and rejoined.  About 15 pounds gone now and not planning on getting them back is my plan.  Well, along with quite a few more pounds meeting that fate... I hope.  What made being on Weight Watchers so memorable is the misery I went through.  I attribute these events with my journey with Weight Watchers.....  1)  A redo of a root canal.  2)  Getting my gall bladder removed.  3)  The constant colds/bronchial infections.  When I went off the plan the first time, I did not have any more dental issues and I had a couple of years of no colds.

Being back on the WW lifestyle plan has brought back one memory that I managed to block from my memory banks......  Flatulence from fiber.  Good Lord!  Being a woman, we are proud of our ability to avoid "passing gas" in front of people.  We hide that in bathrooms and in places where there is not another soul around to hear.  I just never fathomed that fiber can create such toxic fumes that can leave from two orifices of the body....  If you are not burping... you are passing it in the smellier of places.  Wow!  Trying to be as light-hearted as possible is getting really hard to create because I somehow managed to hit the fiber overload point and was getting "raised from my seat"/"blown across the room" or burping so long and loud that I could recite the A B C's or even start the famous speech of Abraham Lincoln of, "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth...".

I just wonder who in the h-e-double hockey sticks thought that fiber has a benefiting property.  The only thing I can think of is being so full from gas, you cannot eat another bite.  That, or feeling ill all the time.  Yesterday, I could not leave my home in fear of an explosive noise flying from my backside.  The embarrassment or the rooting cheers from men over my ability to burp with the best of them was not my idea of going out in public.  I barely made it out of Walgreens, the drug store, with my purchase of Gas-X and Beano with hopes of creating a simethecone (if that is how you spell it) cocktail to help me through the rest of my day before belching so loud that children jumped and mothers gasped in shock.  Total embarrassment, but luckily it only came out of my mouth and not the other end.  That was being forcefully contained until I got in the car.

The other thing about fiber is the need to pass something that was to be solid that was forced to become runny.  I know, I know... TMI, but it is the truth.  All I would need to have happen is think I am passing gas and end up passing something else.  OMG this is miserable!!

Fortunately, crisis has been averted and I have the right mixture of gas controlling substances so I can leave my home without fear of embarrassing myself.  I just have to figure how to spike DD and DH's food with the same stuff or get them to willingly get this issue under control....  You see, they are eating what I am eating... what is happening to me is happening to them... maybe not as much, but it does happen.  How do I know??  After dinner is served... there is a random set of sounds that echo in my home followed with comments like, "nice one", or "OMG!  My eyes!  They burn!!", and "Dude!  You have skills".  We know what we are eating, so there is no need to ask.

I guess it is back to the drawing board in figuring how to get the WW plan to work in a "less musical" way, if you catch my drift...  ;)

Well, off to face the day with a little less "natural propellant".  Thanks for reading :) 

Oh, for all that is holy on this land..... WHY?!??!?

Oh, I love my family... Oh, yes I do.  No matter how annoying they tend to be, no matter how many times I want to smack them up the side of the head, no matter how embarrassing they can be.... I love them.  I have to keep reminding myself that because their little hobby of driving me nuts has become an art form.  Let me share a little tidbit of what I am experiencing that makes me just shake my head and sigh.  I do guarantee you that if someone asks me if they are with me... I just might deny knowing them (just kidding)... or am I ;)

Sundays are "family days".  The day starts off with making breakfast.  Ya know, I think if I did not know how to cook... they would starve.  Sadly, their picky nature is no reward for the weary.  I am the short order chef in this house.  No two people like their eggs made the same way.  Well, after breakfast, I get the notepad and a pen out... it is grocery shopping day... oh joy...  We figure out what we like to have for dinner and I have to figure how to make it healthy (or something like that) because I am the only one on a diet in this house.  Once the meals for the week are decided, we go about the house, checking if there is anything else we need... you know, laundry soap, TP, etc..  Usually, while I am getting the list together, DH does the dishes for me... of course, it is under duress, because you can hear the sighing from across the room.  Basically, it is that silent statement that somehow he always washes the dishes, when in fact, I do them all the time.  Just helping me once a week puts him into actor mode that I overwork him with household chores.... Oh, the drama.  As DH is busy at the sink and I am busy making the grocery list, DD thinks it is still summer and wears a tank top and skort (a skirt with shorts) as her choice of clothing to go to church in.  Who cares it is only 53 degrees outside, right?  As I ask her to change, she throws a fit and DH chimes in with a sarcastic, "can't we all just get along?"

We pile up into the car to go to church, DD refused to change and somehow forgot to get her coat on as we rush off to church.  DH taunts DD with a key chain that lights up and DD starts sing some version of the childhood song, "the wheels on the bus", but with some delusional thought that her father is going to give her the intended lighted key chain fondly called, "horseshoe light".  That annoying little version of the song gets stuck in my head and next thing, I am humming a melody to it... yep, I think I have Stockholm Syndrome and my IQ dropped 10 points.

As we finally make it to church, we find a seat and I figure all is well...  We made it in one piece.  Sadly, DD is whining that she would rather play on the computer than be there and DH looks like he is actually praying, but is actually looking for burnt out light bulbs.  Total embarrassment to me, but hey, I got them there, right?  As I pray for strength to deal with this pair of goofballs, mass finally ends... I guess God did not hear my pleas because they are back at it in the parking lot... goofy song, annoying little light up thing, and the weekly report of how many burnt out light bulbs were there this week.

We make it to the car and we are off again....  Grocery shopping... oh joy...  With list in hand, we get to the store.  DH acts all excited and asks me what kind of cheese samples they just might have this week. DD grunts in disgust about her fathers insatiable appetite for cheese, I just shake my head and trudge forward.  Yep, I am a mother to not 1 child, but 2.  As the kids argue over who is gonna push the cart, I am holding a fair amount of fresh vegetables in my hands, waiting for them to catch up.  DH decides to attempt at embarrassing DD with shouting, "wow, that's a low price" randomly through the store, then starts complaining that food is getting too expensive.  I get the threat that premium meats and vegetables have their days numbered as he thinks we can live on hot dogs and mac'n cheese.  Just the thought is giving me the feeling that  weight loss is a pipe dream.... Darn economy!  After all the items on our list is checked off.....we pay and head back home.

I get some help in getting our groceries in the house, but it is up to me to put it all away, that is, after they fish out their snack choice.  The rest of the day is filled with banter and DH's excitement for this junk that DD made him order from a catalog.  Regardless that the order was mailed out a day ago, he thinks it will magically appear in the mailbox at any time.  He is enjoying the continuous demand to check the mailbox AGAIN as I am starting to lose my cool...  My selective hearing is broken, I am hearing everything.  DD starts singing again and the banter becomes continuous....  Just can't wait for Monday to come along... distance makes the heart grow fonder, ya know.

I just wonder why they feel compelled to drive me batty....  KIDS!

Less than perfect....

Hello friends :)

Looking in the mirror today reminded me that reality is cruel, or my eyesight is really bad.  Stupid me had a moment when I actually felt "pretty"... well, that is, until I looked in a full length mirror.  I realized that there are people that offer you compliments willingly even when you are not looking for them, but appreciate them nonetheless.  Over the past week or so, I have gotten random compliments.  I was not all that sure why people were offering them so willingly, but it was a nice thing to hear.  I just find it so interesting that after getting a compliment here and there, you start to wonder if the comments are honest ones.  

At work last weekend, someone told me that I have gorgeous eyes.  A few days before that, I was told that I look young for my age when I got "carded".  Just yesterday, someone told me that I have a great personality.  All of these compliments were well appreciated, but became that curious under note to see for myself.  Now, as you can see, the compliments are from the chin and upwards.  I should have not looked farther than the bathroom mirror on the medicine cabinet, but there was one compliment that I felt even more compelled to look at myself in a full-length mirror.... someone told me that they noticed that I was losing weight.  Knowing that my weight issue has become an all-consuming monster of its own, I wanted to see if my 10 pound loss really made a noticeable difference.  After looking in a full length mirror, I felt I was lied to because I could not see it.

Just a little note to self that is worthwhile to share:  A 10 pound weight loss really is not all that noticeable.  For those skinny chicks that I am friends with that bitch and moan about needing to lose 5 pounds need a slap up the backside of their head.  Really... who is gonna notice that measly number?  I lost 10 pounds and I could not see a difference.... so there!

I don't know....  It made me wonder if compliments are really genuine thoughts of another person.  I recall seeing a pair of friends 'bump' into each other at the grocery store.  One just had a baby.  Now, not to sound all bitter, but newborns look all the same to me....  They are all cute.  Well, that is until you come across one that isn't (which I haven't).  Compliments were offered and they went their separate ways.  Is it at all possible that a person will offer a compliment because they would rather be nice than honest?  I see that being a distinct possibility.  Think about it....  you see a very heavy set girl and you can hear the comments  from a distance of... "but she has such a pretty face".  It almost sounds like a code phrase of she's fat.  Ever been set up on a blind date?  We know that people will say that this mystery person you are about to go to dinner with has a witty sense of humor or great personality which means he/she is not exactly 'eye candy'.  It is those niceties that offer confidence when a person lacks it.  I guess why I am thinking that these compliments are less than honest is because I seem to lack the ability to see what they see.

Maybe I am a little hard on myself... maybe I am really hard on myself... I do not know.  I am trying to be gracious in accepting compliments at face value, but the toughest critic will always be me.  

Just being a bit cynical....

Last night, as I took my darling daughter to her Taekwondo class, I decided to take a little walk.  Since I am avoiding cigarettes at all costs, I needed to do something, or better yet, anything to get my mind off my evil little crutch.  Believe me, I think I picked the wrong date because that medication has not built up in my body to control the urge to light up.  My stress level is still on the high side, and somehow I have moments of being near tears as I try to say 'goodbye' to my old crutch named cigarettes.  Well, during my little walk around the shopping center that her taekwondo school is in, I stopped in the local Radio Shack store.  I have zero talent when it comes to electronics, but I find it interesting to look at all the stuff.  As I was walking around the store, they had on a couple of televisions that were hooked up to Direct TV (a service that they sell) and there it was... the thorn in my side...  another political speech of to be broken promises and an even deeper National debt. 

Gee whiz, that President Obama is one smooth talker.  As I hear him speak so eloquently about how he has the solution to the world's problems, all I could do is laugh.  For the past 3 years, the American people were SCREAMING that in order to save this great nation from complete destruction, there needs to be an increase in the job market, cut the wasteful spending and cut the taxes.  I was just humored to no end that he claims he hears his people loud and clear.  Took him 3 years to do it, but apparently his speech writer felt compelled to write that down for him.  Still acting the martyr by blaming someone else for the economic woes, but playing the reluctant savior as he states he has the solution.  His whining and threats to cut spending when it came to our military and our seniors got his increase in the debt ceiling.   Pretty childish behavior, if you ask me.  Well, maybe a little lazy, too.  He has had 3 years to make the necessary cuts, ya know.  Even his supposed plans to save a trillion over 10 years is really only a drop in a bucket if you realize that we are trillions in debt already. 

What I find so comical that is teeters on complete disgust is how each political party plays off one another.  A Republican screws up and suddenly the Democratic Party looks good.  Now a Democrat screws up royally and now we need a Republican to clean it up.  All I see are liars, liars, and more liars.  It does not really matter who is in office anymore.  All the potentially honest politicians are extinct because the cancerous growth of corruption has taken over.  Nobody can honestly balance a checkbook in the whole lot of them.  That is what happens when it is not your money being utilized.  Ever notice that there was never an accountant running for office?  It is all career politicians, lawyers and business owners.  There was only 1 actor that I know of as a president and he did glorious things.  His name was Ronald Reagan.  He barely had a scandal attached to his character, but only a few minor complaints.  He managed to increase jobs, cut taxes, cut spending and offer some real alliances with other countries.  So sad that nobody ever took his method to the letter.  Even his running mate George Bush could not hold it together like old Ronny did.  Even George's son lacked the fiber to follow the formula to the letter.  Sadly, the American people spoke and felt that a "change" was in order and elected someone that was not ready to fill those shoes.  Now, all we have is some pocket change to live on and the American dream is getting crushed into the ground like that spider you saw and squished on the floor.

What a pity to see that our great nation is being destroyed by schneisters and tricksters that manage to pull the wool over the eyes of the innocent with promises that will never be.  As long as the mainstream media shows and tells you what they want you to hear/see, there will never be honesty to the innocent people.  Bad choices will be made, people will be disappointed, suffering will occur, and fingers will be pointed.  

As I hear, yet again, the president's feeble attempts to fix what is broken with a major dose of Christianity beliefs (take from the rich and give the poor a break; to make it fair for everyone), people will continue to hear the socialist views while living in a capitalist nation.  I wonder how many more trillions are being wasted on bad ideas and "spinning tires in the mud" reality.  As long as people's views are tainted on what is considered a good paying job, the backs of those who build, create, and maintain... break.  We used to be a nation that built things; made things; created things.  We were innovators that sold our souls (and our jobs) overseas.  Now, we are consumers with no formidable income.  What a sad existence we live in.....

The stubborn side of... me ;)

Hello folks!  Just making a quick blog today.  I have a lot to accomplish and not a lot of daytime hours to complete it....  Well, isn't that always the way things are, huh?

Well, lets just dive right in... shall we?

Question of the day to ponder upon:  Have you ever felt that change is too scary because you dwell upon the odds that the changes are not necessarily in your favor?  You know that there is benefit to change; the excitement that there is something new just over the horizon, the possibility that there is an improved quality to your life or how things happen.  It can be a change in how a job is done, it can also be a personal change in your habits.  We, as ordinary people with extraordinary potential, have a tendency to grasp upon what we know and are accustomed to.  Repetitive actions are considered 'normal' and expected.

Think about it....  what we happen to do on a daily basis becomes a habit.  It can be as remedial as which leg we put our pants on first, to which way you stir your coffee.  We rarely ever put much thought into how we do things... it just gets done.  Now, face a challenge that makes you change what you have been doing for years.  Kind-of difficult to actually grasp on a personal level, but is rather easier to face on a professional (aka work related) level.  Well, that is, unless can you rewire your thought process.  At work, you get a new procedure in writing to follow when it comes to changing something you have been doing for years.  In life, you don't get the convenience of a written procedure to follow like you get at work.  It is a mind-set that gets you there.  It takes energy to remind yourself that what was as remedial as tying your shoes no longer applies when you are making changes.  Sadly, there is a personality flaw that we all happen to have and it is called.....  stubbornness.

Like having the old adage of, "it isn't broke, don't fix it".  Deep. inside our DNA makeup, we have tendencies to dig our heels deep into the ground and refuse to budge.  Well, that is something I am facing every day.  I create a firm belief in things and refuse to show any course of reason.  I guess that is what habits are.  Something we tend to hold onto and become unwilling to let go.  Even when change is necessary.  I realized that my inadequacies (aka bad habits) have been reasoned with in a way that I have justified their need to exist.  You see,  DH had to quit smoking because he was "broken", so to speak and to "fix" the situation, he had to make changes.  Believe me, he was more than willing to make those changes.  He was "scared straight" into making some serious lifestyle changes.  He even quit drinking (well, at this point he might have had 4 beers in the past month and that is a major change compared to what he was drinking on a daily basis). As for me... well, I know that I need to quit smoking.  I know that there are some major health benefits if I do quit.  Is the desire there?  Yes.  Is my determination there?  Not really.  My stubborn side has a strong hold.  It even offered a level of reasoning that makes me unsure if I get to achieve my first goal in getting thinner.  Stupid stubbornness using reasoning that can be accepted as fact.  My history of quitting smoking proved that.  But going back to that bad habit did not get me thinner, either.

I have been on that medication for a week, as of today.  Knowing that I could smoke while taking this created an increase in smoking.  The desire to keep lighting up is still there and my quit date is quickly approaching.  You see, I am quitting on my anniversary as a gift of support to DH and to my family for a better life.  I just hope that after that last puff is done, I can lose that excessive weight and start my days off free from a stubborn habit.  I can only hope that my stubborn side can change just enough to make the necessary changes.  No written procedure to remind me.....