Months ago, I was personally attacked for sharing my own thought process through blogging. Being told that my thoughts could affect the dynamic of family and those closest to me. What I found interesting is that for years I was told that sharing thoughts is a form of growth. A humbling experience to share instead of hide behind the smile, but with that ability to take the initiative to figuratively open my mouth and blog my thoughts has managed to create drama where there should not be. While taking the time to step back from the slings and arrows of harsh opinions, I noticed something very disturbing..... I was allowing someone that appears to have the intent of doing harm to my happiness dictate how I should be living. I really have no clue why this person has such hatred flowing through their veins, but that hatred and desire to never be challenged almost took away my freedom of expression. After much thought, I decided that the opinions of one bitter individual should not hamper the ability for me to grow.
I have witnessed on more than a dozen occasions that people are allowing negative thought dictate their happiness. From one person telling me that she refuses to smile because she thinks her teeth are not pretty enough, to another hiding her confidence under baggy clothes because her body does not look thin like the models on the magazine covers. Heck, even I allowed someone so bitter and unhappy in their life dictate that I should never share my thoughts through blogging. That damned microscope of what should be seen as perfect, dictating that people need to hide from living a remotely happy existence. Finding our own happiness is a journey best taken alone, but better if taken with someone empathetic. That is why people try so hard to be accepted, but fear dictates our inability to move forward.
I was a semi-regular blogger. I shared my thoughts because I chose to. Never once was there any intention to hurt anyone, but there was a person hell-bent on hurting me. They almost did it, but I decided to take a step back and reevaluate things. Understanding that when something is shared on this blog, I am sharing openly to the world that chooses to read it. The operative word here is.... CHOOSE TO. I have a choice to share and those that read it choose to do so. They have a right to agree or disagree, they have a choice to relate or not, they have a choice to appreciate feeling not alone or they can critique me, and they can appreciate seeing a different point of view of things or they can sling hate at me for their own gain. So, after doing some serious soul searching and thinking.... I chose to write again. No guarantees of what or when I will write, but my promise is to be truthful to who I am and what I am feeling. If you can relate to it.... great. If not.... you have every right to not. What I do ask is to understand that while I try to write my feelings as clearly as I can, to not pick apart and twist things into an ugly light. If you are to get anything from this blog it is a sense of feeling that you are not alone in this big world out there.
Sadly, my shared thoughts through blogging has created some drama where there should not be. There are some people that make it their job to dissect, twist, and micromanage others while shining a less than positive light. Their joy is in the misery of others. The crushing of someone's happiness is what fuels them to push harder... to attack in such a way that it has potential to hurt a person. There are no marks on the skin because it is not a physical blow, but one that hurts the spirit of a person. Destroys their confidence... makes them question everything they want or need to do. In fact, offers zero guidance in how to move forward, but definitely sets them backwards. Kind of like telling a person that they are fat and disgusting, thinking it will inspire that person to lose weight, but in all honesty it sets them backwards in the confidence to better themselves. Creating self hate and a self destructive behavior. Like telling someone that they cannot love who they are unless they fit in a box that is unattainable. Sure, we all will try to make ourselves fix in these boxes, but what should be done is to get a different box that better fits who we are instead of what others think we should be. Sadly, in order to be accepting of others, we need to feel empathy for who we are. We need to stop setting ourselves up for failure from the start. We need to love who we are now in order to love who we aim to become, but we also need to be reasonable that not everyone needs to be a carbon copy of who we are. It all falls in the category of stones being thrown at glass houses and taking the time to really look in the mirror before judging. If someone feels that they are far too superior for the likes of the masses and feels compelled to judge others.... well.... it definitely sets them up for a very lonely existence. It is their lack of empathy that makes them bitter and angry at the world.... it is their cross to bear when they need the understanding of another and find out that there is nobody willing to offer their support. As for me? I choose to have empathy and understanding. Am I perfect? No. I have flaws... many flaws, but making a rational thought to choose to change the course is what should matter. Will it be successful? It could be, but it just might not. In order to truly know is to at least try and see. If it doesn't work out, we have other choices we can try.
Just remember.... Failure only happens when we stop trying. Of course, not everything will be successful in life, either. Especially, when trying to change something that has an equal or greater force to not change. I have been barking up that tree for a long time now. That is when we need to be reasonable in the expectations and do only your best.... one person cannot change the world. We would love to, but it won't. It takes working with what you have to carve out your own place and to be rational to those that oppose. This blog may seem like that figurative one-finger salute to those that want to knock me down, but it is really just me sharing some thought... being true to who I am. Thanks for reading and have a great day!
Just remember.... Failure only happens when we stop trying. Of course, not everything will be successful in life, either. Especially, when trying to change something that has an equal or greater force to not change. I have been barking up that tree for a long time now. That is when we need to be reasonable in the expectations and do only your best.... one person cannot change the world. We would love to, but it won't. It takes working with what you have to carve out your own place and to be rational to those that oppose. This blog may seem like that figurative one-finger salute to those that want to knock me down, but it is really just me sharing some thought... being true to who I am. Thanks for reading and have a great day!
