Old sayings like, "Never judge a book by it's cover", and "It is always a bad idea to put the cart before the horse", are bouncing around in my head today. Well, to be completely honest.... they have been bouncing around in my head for almost a week now, and it is fine time I blog about it so I can move forward with my day.
If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have plenty of little thorns in my side that make me cynical, sad, angry, frustrated, or even sarcastic at times. Usually, as each thorn gets removed... a new one is never far away. While I have learned that thorns are a part of life and meant to be dealt with or ignored, thus the blogging, I also learned that when it comes to thorns..... I am fortunate enough to not have such big thorns to deal with. Trust me that I am very thankful for that.
Well, this past week, I have managed to re-learn the phrase that all books should not be judged by their covers. That came to me during my stint as a hall monitor for a couple of days. Yep, I finally got called in to do some substitute work at the local high school district. It only took me 2 years of waiting patiently to get to this point. Talk about having the patience of a saint, huh? Well, I tend to look at this as being more determined to work with the system than try to force it in my direction. I am still applying for something more permanent, but at least getting called in to help..... I am doing my best to be seen as a good candidate to getting hired. This is because.... as elusive and exclusive the school district is regarding selecting a person to hire... they are extremely gun-shy of hiring a complete stranger and I get it. When it comes to the safety of our children... it is far more comforting to have a person that can have many vouch for their competence than just a few (or none). Sadly, I still have been turned down even with my handful of people already in that exclusive club that can vouch for me to begin with. Oh well, it appears that patience is my middle name (obviously not given to me by my parents, but just the same... it is who I have become).
With the experience from being called in three times so far..... yes, three times in my second year of being on the substitute list..... the phrase of never to judge a book by it's cover rang extremely true. Kids these days are struggling to fit in somewhere when it comes to the ever present cliques in social settings... such as school. Having gone through it in my youth, I can fully understand the notion. The in-crowd has a look and attitude that never gets ignored. While some kids are honed into being popular well before their first social situation, there are a greater number of kids that do their best to look the part, but not actually be the part. You know.... looking like a thug, but being an actual really good person under the external look.
I know that I can be opinionated at times and it is usually from personal experience, but when it comes to walking into an environment that I know virtually nothing about.... it is quite mentally exhausting to figure it all out at once. Always on my guard for potential mayhem, I remain wary and become an even deeper thinker than how I usually am on a normal day. After spending those three separate days with my thoughts and opinions over external appearances that ranged from thugs to girls looking a little too slutty walking those halls and wondering if the wrapping on the outside rings true to the person on the inside, I realized that there is far more relevance to avoid being opinionated than before. The external shell is what people make of themselves to seek acceptance, and in some cases, respect, but also tend to forget that the external look can also bring on less than desirable attention. That is where people need to take the chance to get to know a person before judging them or even placing them in a specific category.
With that knowledge being discovered, I did have the knot of concern that is in my gut get a little tighter. The fact is that DD, being a teenager not yet in the high school scene, is going to be exposed to the even more critical eye of her peers when she does get into high school. Heck, junior high (7th and 8th grade), is a transitional stage for kids. No longer the far calmer pace of elementary school, but not fully the hustle and bustle of high school or even the future of college. When I came home from my day of monitoring some halls, DD asked about my day and my thoughts of that environment. As I have always believed that if she asks a mature question, I believe she deserves an honest answer. I sat her down and asked her to do me one favor that is beyond the multitudes of favors that include cleaning her pigsty of a room.... I asked her to always remain true to who she is as a person and to never dress in a way to get attention that can easily be seen as something she is not. I have a good kid on my hands and I really would be upset if she dressed in a way to get attention that could become dangerous. There are tons of people out there in this great big world and there are people that will accept and respect her just the way she is without changing the wrapping to her appearance (aka package). Respect others and you get respect in return. People that do not respect you are not allowed to be in your life, so walk away and move forward with those that do.
Of course, I put the darn horse before the cart when I talked to her about appearances being the catalyst of judgement of character because my smart child reminded me that I buy what she wears and should not be concerned about how she dresses since I know what she owns. Obviously, I managed to forget that vital tidbit of information, but I did also mention that appearances are only part of what people think of others. It is also the actions you choose to take. After telling her of all the couples that kissed in the hallways that I managed to see..... I told her that I am not as ready to accept the notion of her having a boyfriend as I thought I was, but since her first boyfriend (yep, she has one), is painfully afraid of me.... I can at least breathe a little easier about that. I checked with my spies at the school and learned that all that happens between DD and her boyfriend is this.... he carries her books from time to time (being a gentleman), he holds her hand, talks with her, and at the end of the day before they get on their respective buses... they hug. I guarantee you this..... the moment I hear differently and he even hurts her feelings..... he gets to deal with the wrath of this mama bear and I am not all sweetness when I get riled.
Thanks for letting me have a flossing moment. Off to get some housework done. Have a great day everyone!
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