I pulled up my big girl panties and went out for a few hours, by myself! I did not stay alone, though. I sought out some friends that have a Saturday ritual of having a night out. Of course, it was not as local as I would have preferred, but I knew that driving that distance was worth the trip because I was really overdue for a laugh.
Well, while I was out "being social" and all, I was presented a topic that they would like to see shared via "my blog" and I obviously agreed to look into it and quickly learned that it managed to make a connection to something that happened recently, so..... here goes....
Words: The verbal connection.
We use our words to share thought. Simple as that.... we share something every day and we take it for granted. Sadly, the words we happen to choose to use can create reactions that would otherwise be less than welcoming. It all boils down to how the words are presented and how the words are received.
With that in mind, words alone are only half of the story. It is also measured upon the actions we choose to take. Either way, communication is a give and take of what we share, willingly.
Now, this friend of mine decided to mention something to me and asked which word is to be used in what they wanted to bring across and it humored me that there was in internal debate to deciding to use the word "despite" or the phrase of "in spite of" to share that regardless of the shortcomings that they believe they posses, they have something special about them that sets them apart from the pack. I found it interesting that the word "despite" actually means "in spite of" when it is used as a preposition and in all honesty.... the way that they were speaking.... either way applies correctly. There should have not been a problem then, but as with just about any word, there is another use for it having a slightly different meaning. Of course, it has to do with how you choose to use the word, or words. Since "despite" can be used as a preposition since prepositions are words that link a noun in a sentence, it can also be used as a noun and the meaning changes ever so slightly. If my friend used "despite" as a noun, the meaning becomes (according to definition) a feeling, which in all intents and purposes, is still closely relate-able to the prepositional use, but in usual talking, sounds... odd, to say the least. You see, "despite" can also mean outrage/injury or contempt/disdain if used as a noun. If the phrase "in spite of" was broken down, the word "spite" also offers a connection to the noun definition because "spite" has a very similar meaning.
Head scratching, don't you think? And this is only referring to this one concern of phrase. Just imagine the countless other words that have double meaning, and at times mean the exact same thing. The only difference is how you choose to use the word. Yep, that English language is quite complicated since I had to look up the word to learn this and I have been speaking it all... my... life!!
Speaking of speaking..... Did you know that a perception of one thing can create a feeling opposite of what you are trying to achieve?
I was called out on what I thought was funny to learn that it was not funny at all. In fact, it resulted in a phone call to tell me just that! I even took the time to look back at previous blogs of mine and realized that I should have known better than to share something I thought was funny and meant to be just that and apparently I am not allowed to express myself that way because what I happen to share is guaranteed to be under a microscope and scrutinized within an inch of its life.
~~ And people wonder why I don't share much on social media ~~
Well, with that being said, I learned my lesson. Yet again I let my guard down and shared incorrectly. For that, I am truly sorry and I will never attempt to crack a joke again. Unless I add a disclaimer that my intentions are truly pure and not malicious in any shape or form because I know I will be put to blame for something that was not intended to be anything other than lighthearted. I apparently still need to work on my censure abilities as well as filter every little thing I share and second guess everything to feel assured that I cannot be misunderstood or perceived in a different light. In fact, I think I need to just shut my mouth, stop flossing and let my thoughts eat me alive from the inside out. Yep, I need to just lose the light that I have managed to find within myself and swallow down all that comes my way and never seek release. Yep, I think that is the goal of one person, of which I will never say their name, nor offer any clues to who that may be because... they know who they are and just seeing this will make them happy that they have finally broke me. I am now a nobody. A faceless, nameless waste of air, space and time. Only to do the bidding of others without offering any insight, any different perceptual view and I shall be lacking feeling as I get punished for never learning fast enough to at least move forward or even win at least one round of the game called, life. Lo' I shall be the punching bag because I tried to seek solace through sharing thought. Time to hide in fictional books and keep my distance from the real drama that surrounds me.
Well, thanks to my friend for the suggestion for today's shared topic. Let the dissection of who I am as a person begin!
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