The gambler....

Kenny Rodgers sang that song about a gambler and that all famous refrain line is bouncing around in my head.  Well, I have had a few songs, melodies or whatnot resonate in my head lately.  Who knows....  I might be at my mental breaking point, but I digress.... really, who wants to know that the melody to the TV show Bonanza seems to be on repeat play when I am in the grocery store with my family?  Or singing "Time in a bottle" from Jim Croce every time I put my moisturizer on because Philosophy called this new sample I got in the mail "Time in a bottle"?  Or my rendition of, "I will do anything for love, but I won't do that" when I am in strike-mode from cleaning up DD's room or look upon the building pile of DH's socks next to the bed (his side, of course, and mere inches from the basket).  No, today's song, "the Gambler" is one where the refrain is because of all these chances people want to have me embark upon.

In a previous blog, I wrote about my beading addiction and how I feel that it is getting out of hand.  Sure, I am enjoying the zen-like feel of stringing beads, albeit darn near specks of dust seed beads, but my eyes are so tired that I cannot even enjoy my evening book.  Well, it is quite possible that this book I was reading was painfully awful, but when only one eye wants to work and in a blurry state....  I think there is a serious problem either way.  My eyes get darn tired often!

Well, with this beading addiction I happen to have, I did manage to show some of my completed works to my co-workers and was told that I should make more of these things and sell them.  Sure, it is a great idea to make a little something back from what I have managed to spend in beads and materials.  Heck, the time I put in to make a pair of earrings takes me roughly 2 hours from start to finish and that alone should be worth something, right?

Regardless, I realized that I am back to the same situation to where people are asking me to change course from a hobby to a business in the blink of an eye.

There was a time I did just that.... sold my completed projects in one of the realms of my many hobbies and turned to loathe the concept rather quickly.  I used to paint on glass.  The glass painting phase came about out of nervous desperation from DH's annual fishing trip.  For the first few years, I would clean my house within an inch of it's life while he was gone and only slept when I crashed from exhaustion.  Sure, the benefit was having our home so spotless you could eat off every surface, but once DH got home....  The mess started all over again and in my mind, I saw it as a sign of no appreciation of what I did to get it that clean in the first place.  Really, I was not meant to be on this planet to clean after people.  I seriously doubt that it is my calling in life to do just that.  If that was the plan, then I will never die because I will always have something unfinished.  Especially when it comes to DH and DD's inability to pick up after themselves.

Okay, back to the subject at hand....  I did used to sell my glass painted items in a craft fair and when the demand exceeded what I could handle on my own, I stopped painting for my own sanity.  Well, that and the notion that if I could not sell everything I made, I really had no place to store it all.  Heck, trying to explain to DH the concept that not everything I do is something someone would buy flashed on the neon sign that the investment just might not pay off in the long haul and to avoid arguing over having an extensive collection of glass painted items that did not sell was even less appealing than having to make more to appease the demand.

Now, with the idea of jewelry making, I can see how this can become very expensive and can offer even less of an opportunity to selling everything I make.  My taste in things may just differ from those looking to buy what I made.  I may have a predisposition to a certain color that others may not like or a certain style of earrings may appeal to me and not to the masses.  Then what?  I invest in materials to have nobody want to buy it?  Or worse yet....  I sell everything I make and really would like for myself?  Only to make more and trust me when I say this.....  I am starting to get tired of working with beads.

This is where it all boils down to that song, "the Gambler", and that refrain that rings so true.....

You've got to know when to hold 'em, 
know when to fold 'em,
know when to walk away,
and when to run.
You never count your money,
when you are sittin' at the table.
There will be time enough for countin'.
when the dealin' is done.

Basically put... you got to know when it is time to get involved in something as well as realize you have to get out when it is not going the way you planned it would go.  I just see this "selling my bead-work projects" as a one-time deal, but fear that the desire to make something of it will end up costing me more than I plan to spend.  Heck, the notion of selling my abilities is even leaving a bitter taste in my mouth because what I see as what I am worth is far from what others see.  My job reminds me of that every time I am there when I see clients asking for freebies as well as discounts for what I do to actually earn my paycheck.  Sure, some are willing to pay for the quality work I do, but others will turn away and go elsewhere or wait it out until I am so desperate for work that I would just give it away just to be busy with something to do.  Since when it is okay to force a person to sell themselves for less than they are worth?  I think about that all the time.

Oh well, time to hum yet another tune while I go about and make another pair of earrings, do a little cleaning, prepare some things for tonight's dinner, get a load or two of laundry done as well as stop into work for a client, then get some dishes done, read a chapter or two of my book and off to bed.  Yep, sounds about right to what my day will consist of....  Thanks for reading and have a glorious day!!