I have learned to pick my battles... Heck, I think I have mastered the "keep my head down and mouth shut" action. I have tendencies to go out of my way to make something out of bits and pieces of not much, but I think it is fine time to put my foot down and call it a day.
What I am talking about is still attached to my apparent need to work with beads.
Recently, my credit card bill came in and much to my surprise..... it is worse off than I figured. Who knew my desire to take up the advise of others to make a go of making a bunch of beaded items could cost a small fortune? Obviously, it was not me. I should have known better, though, because I have this tendency to never take the cheap way of things. Especially when it came to making jewelry. Come to think of it..... this applies to every hobby I have managed to master. As I shake my head in frustration... and in utter dismay.... I have to do some serious thinking about the future of any of my hobbies. In fact, I think I may have to reconsider ever doing these hobbies ever again.
I can honestly say that the realization that I need to stop where I am and just finish all that I have made it's appearance just a couple of days ago. Here is what I mean....
I was called in to work at the salon. I had a request to do a pedicure on a woman that I did once before as a fill-in while my boss was looking for another nail tech. I am not really a fan of doing nails and when it comes down to doing pedicures.... my back screams in agony before I even begin. Being hunched over for roughly an hour to pamper another's feet is not as glorious as the person getting pampered feels. Trust me... I am not knocking the service... it is great and all, but there are just some things in life (as well as career) that I would prefer to not do. Heck, the tip I receive is not really worth the pain I suffer, but the ever stoic employee.... I will do as asked because as long as I am doing something.... I am earning a paycheck. If I do nothing... I make nothing. In this day and age, people are taking any job in order to make ends meet. I am no different than the rest.
Well, while I was there at the salon, I figured I would show what I have accomplished so far in my beading frenzy and what is most likely going to be sold in the very near future. You see, my co-workers really liked what I have managed to make and said I should sell what I make to make some extra cash for my family's financial situation. Of course, I failed to foresee the burden that this endeavor would have on our already stressed budget. I did what I could by paying for a good amount of it with the cash I earned in tips, but there were times I did not have enough.... so, I used my credit card. I figured that if it was under $100, I was in the clear to make the purchase, but I obviously forgot to keep a running tab on what I was spending on because those little charges started adding up rather quickly. I have the credit card balance to prove it.
In the excitement of what people were saying, I was given some advice that, while in all intent and purposes, were to be helpful in making my money back, happened to add more burden upon what I have already spent. You see, I make a boatload of earrings and not one matching necklace or bracelet. With the money I have sunk into making the earrings, I shudder at the thought of buying more stuff to make the matching accessories that may or may not even sell. Really, who is willing to spend $40 on a pair of earrings that took me hours to make? Now, I am asked to make necklaces, bracelets and hair accessories, too. All of which does not guarantee that everything will be sold.
Yep, I did not look much farther than the concept when the admiration of the beaded art of earrings were appealing to sell to others. Then, of course, what am I going to do with all these things if they do not sell. I am obviously not going to get my initial investment back and with the sight of the credit card bill.... I already know that DH is on the warpath. He already announced that we need to cheapen-up our grocery bill last night. With Christmas right around the corner, we just do not have enough to offer much merriment. I will definitely need to "bone-up" on making new meals from leftovers when Thanksgiving comes around and odds are looking really good that our health will be affected if we have to resort to cheap, convenience foods as meals. Yep, it is looking like a Kraft Mac'N cheese kind of life forming here. It makes me wonder how much chemical enhancement there is to make that stuff look so.... orange.
Of course, DH is going to go into denial when the desire for his darn weekly snack choice is going to have to stop. Really, since when does a person need to get 5 pounds of raw, unsalted sunflower meats (organic, of course) at a whopping $10 and state that this is not an issue to the grocery bill? Sheesh! This man has been grumpy for far too long and me pointing out the cost is going to send him to dangerous levels we have not experienced as well as try our hardest to avoid from happening. I am not sure if there is more for us to sacrifice.
On another note... DH is getting a taste of how awful our new health insurance is. He obviously is acting like he is in denial over it to avoid my telling him... "I told you so", but you can definitely see it on his face he is not happy that he is paying more for everything. His co-pays went up $20, his prescriptions more than doubled, but he refuses to speak up to his business partner that changing plans was (and is) the worst thing ever. Sadly, I will be getting an even shorter end of the stick, along with blame that I am sending us to the poor house. Well, with my recent lesson in my beading adventure... I am agreeing with him on that one. I just have to figure how to utilize everything I have and hope to sell it all. Not seeing much promise in that, but I have to try. I just cannot make matching accessories to what I already made if there is a demand for it. The spending has stopped and what I have is what I have. I will not be able to make special requests unless payment is made in advance. The lady that supplies my beads is gonna feel the crunch, too. Since I am not going there for a long time. My itch to finish the afghan that I was making just might become a throw because I know I need more yarn and I am not getting anymore.
Come to think about it.... even my insatiable reading habit will now consist of rereading what I have and only getting free books from Amazon. I rarely buy books, but I have a few authors I like to read and their books rarely cost over $5, but even that is flashing a neon light that even those books are going to add up, too. Yep, my $0.99, $1.99 and $2.49 books are out of the question. The library is lacking books I read and there is no way I am going to read historical romance novels. That is where I draw the line! Oh well, time to do what I do. I have a house to clean before we get to puppy-sit again. I believe that it is this weekend, so I better get a-move-on.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
The gambler....
Kenny Rodgers sang that song about a gambler and that all famous refrain line is bouncing around in my head. Well, I have had a few songs, melodies or whatnot resonate in my head lately. Who knows.... I might be at my mental breaking point, but I digress.... really, who wants to know that the melody to the TV show Bonanza seems to be on repeat play when I am in the grocery store with my family? Or singing "Time in a bottle" from Jim Croce every time I put my moisturizer on because Philosophy called this new sample I got in the mail "Time in a bottle"? Or my rendition of, "I will do anything for love, but I won't do that" when I am in strike-mode from cleaning up DD's room or look upon the building pile of DH's socks next to the bed (his side, of course, and mere inches from the basket). No, today's song, "the Gambler" is one where the refrain is because of all these chances people want to have me embark upon.
In a previous blog, I wrote about my beading addiction and how I feel that it is getting out of hand. Sure, I am enjoying the zen-like feel of stringing beads, albeit darn near specks of dust seed beads, but my eyes are so tired that I cannot even enjoy my evening book. Well, it is quite possible that this book I was reading was painfully awful, but when only one eye wants to work and in a blurry state.... I think there is a serious problem either way. My eyes get darn tired often!
Well, with this beading addiction I happen to have, I did manage to show some of my completed works to my co-workers and was told that I should make more of these things and sell them. Sure, it is a great idea to make a little something back from what I have managed to spend in beads and materials. Heck, the time I put in to make a pair of earrings takes me roughly 2 hours from start to finish and that alone should be worth something, right?
Regardless, I realized that I am back to the same situation to where people are asking me to change course from a hobby to a business in the blink of an eye.
There was a time I did just that.... sold my completed projects in one of the realms of my many hobbies and turned to loathe the concept rather quickly. I used to paint on glass. The glass painting phase came about out of nervous desperation from DH's annual fishing trip. For the first few years, I would clean my house within an inch of it's life while he was gone and only slept when I crashed from exhaustion. Sure, the benefit was having our home so spotless you could eat off every surface, but once DH got home.... The mess started all over again and in my mind, I saw it as a sign of no appreciation of what I did to get it that clean in the first place. Really, I was not meant to be on this planet to clean after people. I seriously doubt that it is my calling in life to do just that. If that was the plan, then I will never die because I will always have something unfinished. Especially when it comes to DH and DD's inability to pick up after themselves.
Okay, back to the subject at hand.... I did used to sell my glass painted items in a craft fair and when the demand exceeded what I could handle on my own, I stopped painting for my own sanity. Well, that and the notion that if I could not sell everything I made, I really had no place to store it all. Heck, trying to explain to DH the concept that not everything I do is something someone would buy flashed on the neon sign that the investment just might not pay off in the long haul and to avoid arguing over having an extensive collection of glass painted items that did not sell was even less appealing than having to make more to appease the demand.
Now, with the idea of jewelry making, I can see how this can become very expensive and can offer even less of an opportunity to selling everything I make. My taste in things may just differ from those looking to buy what I made. I may have a predisposition to a certain color that others may not like or a certain style of earrings may appeal to me and not to the masses. Then what? I invest in materials to have nobody want to buy it? Or worse yet.... I sell everything I make and really would like for myself? Only to make more and trust me when I say this..... I am starting to get tired of working with beads.
This is where it all boils down to that song, "the Gambler", and that refrain that rings so true.....
You've got to know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em,
know when to walk away,
and when to run.
You never count your money,
when you are sittin' at the table.
There will be time enough for countin'.
when the dealin' is done.
Basically put... you got to know when it is time to get involved in something as well as realize you have to get out when it is not going the way you planned it would go. I just see this "selling my bead-work projects" as a one-time deal, but fear that the desire to make something of it will end up costing me more than I plan to spend. Heck, the notion of selling my abilities is even leaving a bitter taste in my mouth because what I see as what I am worth is far from what others see. My job reminds me of that every time I am there when I see clients asking for freebies as well as discounts for what I do to actually earn my paycheck. Sure, some are willing to pay for the quality work I do, but others will turn away and go elsewhere or wait it out until I am so desperate for work that I would just give it away just to be busy with something to do. Since when it is okay to force a person to sell themselves for less than they are worth? I think about that all the time.
Oh well, time to hum yet another tune while I go about and make another pair of earrings, do a little cleaning, prepare some things for tonight's dinner, get a load or two of laundry done as well as stop into work for a client, then get some dishes done, read a chapter or two of my book and off to bed. Yep, sounds about right to what my day will consist of.... Thanks for reading and have a glorious day!!
In a previous blog, I wrote about my beading addiction and how I feel that it is getting out of hand. Sure, I am enjoying the zen-like feel of stringing beads, albeit darn near specks of dust seed beads, but my eyes are so tired that I cannot even enjoy my evening book. Well, it is quite possible that this book I was reading was painfully awful, but when only one eye wants to work and in a blurry state.... I think there is a serious problem either way. My eyes get darn tired often!
Well, with this beading addiction I happen to have, I did manage to show some of my completed works to my co-workers and was told that I should make more of these things and sell them. Sure, it is a great idea to make a little something back from what I have managed to spend in beads and materials. Heck, the time I put in to make a pair of earrings takes me roughly 2 hours from start to finish and that alone should be worth something, right?
Regardless, I realized that I am back to the same situation to where people are asking me to change course from a hobby to a business in the blink of an eye.
There was a time I did just that.... sold my completed projects in one of the realms of my many hobbies and turned to loathe the concept rather quickly. I used to paint on glass. The glass painting phase came about out of nervous desperation from DH's annual fishing trip. For the first few years, I would clean my house within an inch of it's life while he was gone and only slept when I crashed from exhaustion. Sure, the benefit was having our home so spotless you could eat off every surface, but once DH got home.... The mess started all over again and in my mind, I saw it as a sign of no appreciation of what I did to get it that clean in the first place. Really, I was not meant to be on this planet to clean after people. I seriously doubt that it is my calling in life to do just that. If that was the plan, then I will never die because I will always have something unfinished. Especially when it comes to DH and DD's inability to pick up after themselves.
Okay, back to the subject at hand.... I did used to sell my glass painted items in a craft fair and when the demand exceeded what I could handle on my own, I stopped painting for my own sanity. Well, that and the notion that if I could not sell everything I made, I really had no place to store it all. Heck, trying to explain to DH the concept that not everything I do is something someone would buy flashed on the neon sign that the investment just might not pay off in the long haul and to avoid arguing over having an extensive collection of glass painted items that did not sell was even less appealing than having to make more to appease the demand.
Now, with the idea of jewelry making, I can see how this can become very expensive and can offer even less of an opportunity to selling everything I make. My taste in things may just differ from those looking to buy what I made. I may have a predisposition to a certain color that others may not like or a certain style of earrings may appeal to me and not to the masses. Then what? I invest in materials to have nobody want to buy it? Or worse yet.... I sell everything I make and really would like for myself? Only to make more and trust me when I say this..... I am starting to get tired of working with beads.
This is where it all boils down to that song, "the Gambler", and that refrain that rings so true.....
You've got to know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em,
know when to walk away,
and when to run.
You never count your money,
when you are sittin' at the table.
There will be time enough for countin'.
when the dealin' is done.
Basically put... you got to know when it is time to get involved in something as well as realize you have to get out when it is not going the way you planned it would go. I just see this "selling my bead-work projects" as a one-time deal, but fear that the desire to make something of it will end up costing me more than I plan to spend. Heck, the notion of selling my abilities is even leaving a bitter taste in my mouth because what I see as what I am worth is far from what others see. My job reminds me of that every time I am there when I see clients asking for freebies as well as discounts for what I do to actually earn my paycheck. Sure, some are willing to pay for the quality work I do, but others will turn away and go elsewhere or wait it out until I am so desperate for work that I would just give it away just to be busy with something to do. Since when it is okay to force a person to sell themselves for less than they are worth? I think about that all the time.
Oh well, time to hum yet another tune while I go about and make another pair of earrings, do a little cleaning, prepare some things for tonight's dinner, get a load or two of laundry done as well as stop into work for a client, then get some dishes done, read a chapter or two of my book and off to bed. Yep, sounds about right to what my day will consist of.... Thanks for reading and have a glorious day!!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Could someone please answer this....
Okay, this is gonna be a question that might offer an "ah-ha" moment or it is just gonna make you question who is really at fault these days, but here goes.....
I just watched, on a news report, this morning an excerpt on a couple of things and it had me thinking. There was an accident on a railway in Chicago that resulted in "head-on" collision between two trains. Many people were injured and the accident is still being investigated because there was nobody manning the second train that crashed into the other. Yep, somehow a train went rogue in the holding yard and drove off on its own, causing the accident.
While there were no fatalities, there were some injured people. Not quite sure of the extent of these injuries, but of course, the mainstream media does not offer all information. Just the stuff that grabs your attention, scares the snot out of you and/or causes you to react in an angered, yet controlled manner. I call this selective sensationalism for the masses. Half-stories make for more reaction than the full story, right?
While with this limited information that we were told, there was a mention that the first lawsuit was already put in the works. Yep, one person is suing the rail company for $50,000 in damages.
Really?!?!?!? Fifty-thousand dollars????? How does one come to that number for what has been portrayed as an accident that resulted no fatalities, but multiple injuries? I mean, on a reasonable thinking person's perception.... the risk for an accident can happen anywhere and at any time. While it has been noted that an accident in an airplane is less likely than one in a car, there are still accident potentials laying in wait. Heck, walking across the street is quite risky, but people take these risks every day.... willingly. Accidents are just that.... accidents.... and not intentionally done. If it was... it would be seen as an intentional act to harm themselves or others. This was not the case here.... it was clearly an accident, but there just happens to always be someone that can place a price tag on their demise and this one decided that 50K sounds reasonable and just.
Well, it had me thinking..... People sue for just about the most mundane reasons and a few that popped to my mind this morning are these.... There was a woman that sued McDonald's restaurants for the burns she received from spilling hot coffee in her lap in her car. Really? Her first mistake was placing said hot coffee between her legs while she drove in her car. Basically, it was a common sense mishap, but insisted on cashing in on it. Then there was another woman (sorry folks, these are ones I remember as head scratching ones and it just so happens to be women over-reacting) that tried to sue a clothing manufacturer over the way her pants no longer fit like they used to. According to this person, she has bought the same size of jeans for many years and somehow that size no longer fits her just right and it resulted in buying a bigger size. Sure, she could have gained weight, but apparently it is easier to sue a clothing company over a size number on her clothes. Talk about the critical mind! Then there are some random ones that I believe happen far too often and do not get major media press to and that is..... medical claims.
Doctors being sued for errors (and in quite a few... non-errors), procedures, medicines, and treatments administered are big money makers. We all see the commercials on TV and hear the ones on the radio about "class action lawsuits" over one thing or another. Apparently, people forget that there is a risk everywhere and even the most cautionary people can fall victim just like the most daring people. Call it fate, call it fighting the odds, but in the end it is simply this..... life is a risk.
Now, here is my question for you all..... does suing every person for something the nobody has control over going to make a positive difference in the long haul? The cost of medical care is on the rise and most of it is due to paying for insurance to protect ourselves. Doctors with malpractice insurance, patients with medical coverage suing for more, and people that opt to not have (or afford) medical coverage expecting someone else to cover the bill. Heck, when it comes down to the bare bones minimum.... this country has the best and the worst all wrapped into one package. It is how people utilize the system and when the system is bunk.... everyone suffers. Look at the current shutdown of government. We are going in 3 days of government employees being forced to not work because there is a clashing of the minds in the White House. We have multiple sides refusing to listen to one another and how everything is at a standstill and the innocent people are suffering while the big-wigs still get paid to have their temper tantrums. The different sides are these.... one side wants what they want while the other does not agree and there is the third and elusive group that just have no strong feelings either way. Kind-of like a team at a standstill and a simple solution at hand. Of course, you cannot fit a square peg in a round hole, but you do have the tools to shave the corners off the square peg to make it easier to fit it in that round hole. It is just taking the concept and changing it slightly to make it work. Sadly, our government sees their square peg as something you cannot alter to fit that round hole and refuses to even attempt to try to alter it. What is even more sad is the masses that have to suffer because nobody wants to play well with others. What we do need is an intervention as well as a "come to Jesus" moment for every one of them. They have lost focus on the bigger picture for a really long time and it would be prudent that they took this moment to do just that..... take a look at the damage they are capable of and get a-cracking on a reasonable solution. To put aside their differences and find common ground. Then and only then, can they work well with others and find an answer that everyone can live with. Obviously, the first step is to stop trying to force a legacy upon the masses that is not exactly the right fit for those that do not make a six-digit income. Heck, I am lucky our home makes a low-end 5-digit income and trust me.... it barely gets us by. Oh heck..... Lets just yank the damn blinders off these people and get them to see that there is more at stake than they think! That we are individuals with individual needs and there is not one simple answer, but there should be options available. And I am talking about the right to choose!!!!
Since when is it required for our government to make it mandatory for all something that people may choose to not have for their own personal reasons? I mean, there are healthy people buying insurance for the guarantee that they are covered, but they should not be forced to cover the difference to those that choose not to have coverage. It should be available that those that seek coverage need to have it available at a reasonable and livable cost. If not, there should be services available that the state, government and local municipality to provide at their cost to those that cannot afford it and have that control to make the decision for these people.... not the masses that select privatized coverage. Isn't that what we did have before this fiasco? It did work quite well for many years, so why rock the boat or try to fix something that was not broke in the first place. Oh, that's right.... someone wants a legacy to leave behind and chose to make this his legacy and refuses to play well with others.
Oh well, back to the usual day of cooking, cleaning, beads and books. Have a great day everyone!!!!
I just watched, on a news report, this morning an excerpt on a couple of things and it had me thinking. There was an accident on a railway in Chicago that resulted in "head-on" collision between two trains. Many people were injured and the accident is still being investigated because there was nobody manning the second train that crashed into the other. Yep, somehow a train went rogue in the holding yard and drove off on its own, causing the accident.
While there were no fatalities, there were some injured people. Not quite sure of the extent of these injuries, but of course, the mainstream media does not offer all information. Just the stuff that grabs your attention, scares the snot out of you and/or causes you to react in an angered, yet controlled manner. I call this selective sensationalism for the masses. Half-stories make for more reaction than the full story, right?
While with this limited information that we were told, there was a mention that the first lawsuit was already put in the works. Yep, one person is suing the rail company for $50,000 in damages.
Really?!?!?!? Fifty-thousand dollars????? How does one come to that number for what has been portrayed as an accident that resulted no fatalities, but multiple injuries? I mean, on a reasonable thinking person's perception.... the risk for an accident can happen anywhere and at any time. While it has been noted that an accident in an airplane is less likely than one in a car, there are still accident potentials laying in wait. Heck, walking across the street is quite risky, but people take these risks every day.... willingly. Accidents are just that.... accidents.... and not intentionally done. If it was... it would be seen as an intentional act to harm themselves or others. This was not the case here.... it was clearly an accident, but there just happens to always be someone that can place a price tag on their demise and this one decided that 50K sounds reasonable and just.
Well, it had me thinking..... People sue for just about the most mundane reasons and a few that popped to my mind this morning are these.... There was a woman that sued McDonald's restaurants for the burns she received from spilling hot coffee in her lap in her car. Really? Her first mistake was placing said hot coffee between her legs while she drove in her car. Basically, it was a common sense mishap, but insisted on cashing in on it. Then there was another woman (sorry folks, these are ones I remember as head scratching ones and it just so happens to be women over-reacting) that tried to sue a clothing manufacturer over the way her pants no longer fit like they used to. According to this person, she has bought the same size of jeans for many years and somehow that size no longer fits her just right and it resulted in buying a bigger size. Sure, she could have gained weight, but apparently it is easier to sue a clothing company over a size number on her clothes. Talk about the critical mind! Then there are some random ones that I believe happen far too often and do not get major media press to and that is..... medical claims.
Doctors being sued for errors (and in quite a few... non-errors), procedures, medicines, and treatments administered are big money makers. We all see the commercials on TV and hear the ones on the radio about "class action lawsuits" over one thing or another. Apparently, people forget that there is a risk everywhere and even the most cautionary people can fall victim just like the most daring people. Call it fate, call it fighting the odds, but in the end it is simply this..... life is a risk.
Now, here is my question for you all..... does suing every person for something the nobody has control over going to make a positive difference in the long haul? The cost of medical care is on the rise and most of it is due to paying for insurance to protect ourselves. Doctors with malpractice insurance, patients with medical coverage suing for more, and people that opt to not have (or afford) medical coverage expecting someone else to cover the bill. Heck, when it comes down to the bare bones minimum.... this country has the best and the worst all wrapped into one package. It is how people utilize the system and when the system is bunk.... everyone suffers. Look at the current shutdown of government. We are going in 3 days of government employees being forced to not work because there is a clashing of the minds in the White House. We have multiple sides refusing to listen to one another and how everything is at a standstill and the innocent people are suffering while the big-wigs still get paid to have their temper tantrums. The different sides are these.... one side wants what they want while the other does not agree and there is the third and elusive group that just have no strong feelings either way. Kind-of like a team at a standstill and a simple solution at hand. Of course, you cannot fit a square peg in a round hole, but you do have the tools to shave the corners off the square peg to make it easier to fit it in that round hole. It is just taking the concept and changing it slightly to make it work. Sadly, our government sees their square peg as something you cannot alter to fit that round hole and refuses to even attempt to try to alter it. What is even more sad is the masses that have to suffer because nobody wants to play well with others. What we do need is an intervention as well as a "come to Jesus" moment for every one of them. They have lost focus on the bigger picture for a really long time and it would be prudent that they took this moment to do just that..... take a look at the damage they are capable of and get a-cracking on a reasonable solution. To put aside their differences and find common ground. Then and only then, can they work well with others and find an answer that everyone can live with. Obviously, the first step is to stop trying to force a legacy upon the masses that is not exactly the right fit for those that do not make a six-digit income. Heck, I am lucky our home makes a low-end 5-digit income and trust me.... it barely gets us by. Oh heck..... Lets just yank the damn blinders off these people and get them to see that there is more at stake than they think! That we are individuals with individual needs and there is not one simple answer, but there should be options available. And I am talking about the right to choose!!!!
Since when is it required for our government to make it mandatory for all something that people may choose to not have for their own personal reasons? I mean, there are healthy people buying insurance for the guarantee that they are covered, but they should not be forced to cover the difference to those that choose not to have coverage. It should be available that those that seek coverage need to have it available at a reasonable and livable cost. If not, there should be services available that the state, government and local municipality to provide at their cost to those that cannot afford it and have that control to make the decision for these people.... not the masses that select privatized coverage. Isn't that what we did have before this fiasco? It did work quite well for many years, so why rock the boat or try to fix something that was not broke in the first place. Oh, that's right.... someone wants a legacy to leave behind and chose to make this his legacy and refuses to play well with others.
Oh well, back to the usual day of cooking, cleaning, beads and books. Have a great day everyone!!!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Selective sharing.....
Oh, I just love my family!!! I really do!! Especially the selective sharing they achieve. Who knows? I may just be thinking all crazy like I have been told in the past every time I share real raw feelings with DH (of which I stopped because there is only so many times someone can tell me that I am thinking out of my backside because it really hurts my feelings that I am entitled to have). Yep, what I am going to share today is my perception because when this happens..... nobody outside my little family unit sees it. So here we go....
DH used to be quite helpful around here. Used to be. If I was falling behind on my housework duties, being a housewife and all, he would step up and help me. If there was vacuuming that needed to be done, some laundry done, and even the dishes... he would step up and help me out. Even when we would have leftovers from dinner, he would wrap them up to put them in the fridge for me. Well, those days are gone! Not completely gone, mind you, just taking a selective path of being gone. Last night was a glaring example of what I mean....
I made dinner, as usual here, and pulled out the necessary condiments that were for that evening's meal. After everyone ate, DH got up to put away his dish in the sink and proceeded to put away only the condiment he used and left the rest out on the counter. Then, he placed his dish in the sink and walked away. Really? Just the one condiment he used and NOT the others that were sitting near it?? It is not really all that hard to put the other stuff in the fridge for me if they are all just mere inches from the fridge. NOPE! He chooses to leave everything else out for me to take care of. Not really being all that helpful after all.... just the very minimum. But who am I to complain? Did he not put something away for me? Shouldn't I be happy about it? Nah, I will just finish the job.... as usual.
DD is an interesting bird.... We go grocery shopping every week and it appears that she chooses a snack for the week that she will not eat and choose to eat mine until it is GONE before eating hers. Normally, I do not complain all that much about this since I am on the perpetual diet, but DANG, I really like my Fiber One snack bars! That is the one thing I get to look forward to and I see empty wrappers EVERYWHERE! But if I was to take something of hers (since she also usually picks a healthy snack)... she gets bent over it! Oh, that's right..... I just work here and should not get to have anything good, hot, or be able to eat a complete meal in peace because the demand of the job states that. No wonder I cannot lose weight.... out of complete frustration..... I go the the local 7-11 and buy junk food to soothe my frazzled nerves instead. Darn emotional eating!!!!! I am DOOMED!!!!
Of course, I just could not end this on such a negative note.... My family does share in other things.... Like, for instance, they share with me their nasty attitude, their animosity towards what I am forced to make (according to the weekly shopping list we make together every week), their ability to make this house look like a bomb went off, and their complete disregard that I have things to do around here and not all of it is to pamper them. Yep, I get demands of clipping toenails, blow drying hair straight and other personal demands up the wazoo! Especially when I am in a time crunch. It is guaranteed that I always have to drive, I always have to cater to them (sick, healthy or otherwise), and take criticism with a smile. Feelings? Oh, I am not allowed to have actual feelings around here. Heck, I cannot have down time... period. I always have to be on my "A" game at all times. I have neighbors that their wives can have a beer (or many) on any given night and even be left alone to nurse a hangover, but I am not allowed! Not saying I would like to be getting drunk all the time to get a hangover, but even my once-in-a-blue-moon allowance to go out and see my friends comes with expectations. So, being sick, needing down time, or sharing feelings are big no-no's here. Everyone else can have them.... just not me. Just once I would like to let this apparent freak flag fly (that is what they see me sharing my feelings as well as any semblance of punishment for letting loose consists of) and not care what happens next, but sadly I care far too much and I am actually kind-of tired of the ridicule around here. Oh well, off to do what I do. Thanks for reading and have an exceptional day!!
DH used to be quite helpful around here. Used to be. If I was falling behind on my housework duties, being a housewife and all, he would step up and help me. If there was vacuuming that needed to be done, some laundry done, and even the dishes... he would step up and help me out. Even when we would have leftovers from dinner, he would wrap them up to put them in the fridge for me. Well, those days are gone! Not completely gone, mind you, just taking a selective path of being gone. Last night was a glaring example of what I mean....
I made dinner, as usual here, and pulled out the necessary condiments that were for that evening's meal. After everyone ate, DH got up to put away his dish in the sink and proceeded to put away only the condiment he used and left the rest out on the counter. Then, he placed his dish in the sink and walked away. Really? Just the one condiment he used and NOT the others that were sitting near it?? It is not really all that hard to put the other stuff in the fridge for me if they are all just mere inches from the fridge. NOPE! He chooses to leave everything else out for me to take care of. Not really being all that helpful after all.... just the very minimum. But who am I to complain? Did he not put something away for me? Shouldn't I be happy about it? Nah, I will just finish the job.... as usual.
DD is an interesting bird.... We go grocery shopping every week and it appears that she chooses a snack for the week that she will not eat and choose to eat mine until it is GONE before eating hers. Normally, I do not complain all that much about this since I am on the perpetual diet, but DANG, I really like my Fiber One snack bars! That is the one thing I get to look forward to and I see empty wrappers EVERYWHERE! But if I was to take something of hers (since she also usually picks a healthy snack)... she gets bent over it! Oh, that's right..... I just work here and should not get to have anything good, hot, or be able to eat a complete meal in peace because the demand of the job states that. No wonder I cannot lose weight.... out of complete frustration..... I go the the local 7-11 and buy junk food to soothe my frazzled nerves instead. Darn emotional eating!!!!! I am DOOMED!!!!
Of course, I just could not end this on such a negative note.... My family does share in other things.... Like, for instance, they share with me their nasty attitude, their animosity towards what I am forced to make (according to the weekly shopping list we make together every week), their ability to make this house look like a bomb went off, and their complete disregard that I have things to do around here and not all of it is to pamper them. Yep, I get demands of clipping toenails, blow drying hair straight and other personal demands up the wazoo! Especially when I am in a time crunch. It is guaranteed that I always have to drive, I always have to cater to them (sick, healthy or otherwise), and take criticism with a smile. Feelings? Oh, I am not allowed to have actual feelings around here. Heck, I cannot have down time... period. I always have to be on my "A" game at all times. I have neighbors that their wives can have a beer (or many) on any given night and even be left alone to nurse a hangover, but I am not allowed! Not saying I would like to be getting drunk all the time to get a hangover, but even my once-in-a-blue-moon allowance to go out and see my friends comes with expectations. So, being sick, needing down time, or sharing feelings are big no-no's here. Everyone else can have them.... just not me. Just once I would like to let this apparent freak flag fly (that is what they see me sharing my feelings as well as any semblance of punishment for letting loose consists of) and not care what happens next, but sadly I care far too much and I am actually kind-of tired of the ridicule around here. Oh well, off to do what I do. Thanks for reading and have an exceptional day!!
Friday, September 27, 2013
Clearly, I need an intervention.....
Okay, I know that I happen to go through stages of extremes like a food jag to a small child. These hobbies I happen to have are seriously getting out of hand!! Lets begin at the beginning... shall we?
I remember the saying, "idle minds and idle hands are the main ingredient to chaos not welcome". Okay, you probably never heard that saying exactly, but you get the idea, right? As like an ex-smoker turning to food because of the hand-to-mouth reflex, we seem to find something to take place of something else. For me? These hobbies stave off boredom, frustration, and stress. Trust me... if I was left in a room with nothing to keep my hands and mind entertained... I would probably go batty!
My hobbies started off as innocent things. Years ago, I taught myself how to paint on glass to fill the hours/days DH was away on his fishing trips each year. I did that so apparently well that people wanted to buy what I managed to paint. I did a few years on the craft sale/fundraiser front and started to hate painting on glass when the demand got too high. In order to curb my glass painting issue, I took up jewelry making for a while. Nothing real Earth-shattering, just a few necklaces and bracelets and some simple earrings. Of course, my tastes in materials was a bit expensive and I just lacked the patience to go beyond the simple stuff, so stopping for a while was easy. Then, I went into a crocheting frenzy when I learned how to crochet a hat. I still have the hats to prove I was becoming a fan of yarn a little too much. Then, the interest in books and reading took center stage for a second round. I was an avid reader in my 20's and early 30's, but I was genre-stuck and there are really only so many mysteries/suspense/sci-fi books my mind could take. Suddenly, I became a rabid fan of romance novels and that scared me to no end! I swore I would never read that sappy trash, but I fell victim to the happily ever afters and I am still hooked! Fortunately, my feverish pace of reading a book in a day was slowed down considerably, but I discovered, or better yet rediscovered an old hobby and it is truly getting out of hand! It is called jewelry making/beads. I seriously have a beading addiction!! I have taken classes on working with the one type of beads I swore I would never work with.... seed beads! Heck, the size I am using is considered the smallest out there (size 15) and the results are impressive! They are wearable works of art!! People are wanting me to sell my stuff again! Over the past month, I have made roughly 30 pairs of earrings, a few necklaces and beaded charms galore! My dining room table is covered in beads and projects. I go to the bead store and/or the craft store at least twice a week to buy more beads, thread and crystals. My eyesight is shot and I rarely step away from a project. Everything I have made, people want one, too and I have obliged in making them one. I think my mom has one of everything I have managed to make so far and even she is feeling the pinch in the pocketbook. Every item I have made is something I will proudly wear and I am not sure if I could sell any of it, but I think DH is nearing the point of telling me to do just that! I have far too much wearable art for one person. EEK!
Of course, the season is changing and I will get back to crocheting again. I have an afghan that I did not finish yet. It takes a lot of yarn to make and I am not even half way done and I have gone through 9 skeins of yarn. Trust me when I say this.... it is thick, fluffy and extremely warm.
Sadly, I could not share pictures of the extreme need of this intervention because I cannot find my camera, but if I did..... You would be preparing the padded room for me as you read this.
I will say this, though..... With all these hobbies I happen to have.... I feel quite calm while everything else is crumbling around me. I guess that is an upside to everything, right?
Thanks for reading and have a great day! As for me.... I have a few more little beading projects to finish and then I have a new book to read as well as getting my crocheting projects in order for this fall. Yep, I definitely need an intervention, but I seem to be in my "happy place" when I am immersed in the crafting world....
I remember the saying, "idle minds and idle hands are the main ingredient to chaos not welcome". Okay, you probably never heard that saying exactly, but you get the idea, right? As like an ex-smoker turning to food because of the hand-to-mouth reflex, we seem to find something to take place of something else. For me? These hobbies stave off boredom, frustration, and stress. Trust me... if I was left in a room with nothing to keep my hands and mind entertained... I would probably go batty!
My hobbies started off as innocent things. Years ago, I taught myself how to paint on glass to fill the hours/days DH was away on his fishing trips each year. I did that so apparently well that people wanted to buy what I managed to paint. I did a few years on the craft sale/fundraiser front and started to hate painting on glass when the demand got too high. In order to curb my glass painting issue, I took up jewelry making for a while. Nothing real Earth-shattering, just a few necklaces and bracelets and some simple earrings. Of course, my tastes in materials was a bit expensive and I just lacked the patience to go beyond the simple stuff, so stopping for a while was easy. Then, I went into a crocheting frenzy when I learned how to crochet a hat. I still have the hats to prove I was becoming a fan of yarn a little too much. Then, the interest in books and reading took center stage for a second round. I was an avid reader in my 20's and early 30's, but I was genre-stuck and there are really only so many mysteries/suspense/sci-fi books my mind could take. Suddenly, I became a rabid fan of romance novels and that scared me to no end! I swore I would never read that sappy trash, but I fell victim to the happily ever afters and I am still hooked! Fortunately, my feverish pace of reading a book in a day was slowed down considerably, but I discovered, or better yet rediscovered an old hobby and it is truly getting out of hand! It is called jewelry making/beads. I seriously have a beading addiction!! I have taken classes on working with the one type of beads I swore I would never work with.... seed beads! Heck, the size I am using is considered the smallest out there (size 15) and the results are impressive! They are wearable works of art!! People are wanting me to sell my stuff again! Over the past month, I have made roughly 30 pairs of earrings, a few necklaces and beaded charms galore! My dining room table is covered in beads and projects. I go to the bead store and/or the craft store at least twice a week to buy more beads, thread and crystals. My eyesight is shot and I rarely step away from a project. Everything I have made, people want one, too and I have obliged in making them one. I think my mom has one of everything I have managed to make so far and even she is feeling the pinch in the pocketbook. Every item I have made is something I will proudly wear and I am not sure if I could sell any of it, but I think DH is nearing the point of telling me to do just that! I have far too much wearable art for one person. EEK!
Of course, the season is changing and I will get back to crocheting again. I have an afghan that I did not finish yet. It takes a lot of yarn to make and I am not even half way done and I have gone through 9 skeins of yarn. Trust me when I say this.... it is thick, fluffy and extremely warm.
Sadly, I could not share pictures of the extreme need of this intervention because I cannot find my camera, but if I did..... You would be preparing the padded room for me as you read this.
I will say this, though..... With all these hobbies I happen to have.... I feel quite calm while everything else is crumbling around me. I guess that is an upside to everything, right?
Thanks for reading and have a great day! As for me.... I have a few more little beading projects to finish and then I have a new book to read as well as getting my crocheting projects in order for this fall. Yep, I definitely need an intervention, but I seem to be in my "happy place" when I am immersed in the crafting world....
Friday, September 13, 2013
A pinch of this and too much of that....
Good morning! Just a quick blog to get the day rolling...
Well, lets see... Since my last blog, my life has been pretty uneventful and eventful in the same breath. I have been called in to the salon to take care of a few clients that could not make it in on my usual day that I commit to.... Saturday. I have hit the pinnacle of what my best friend warned me about... My hobbies are catching up with me. Between the hours of my day, I fit in reading, bead work, and feverishly waiting for the new season of Castle by watching all of the reruns on TV via "on demand" through my cable provider. Sure, I fit in some cleaning and I have been thoroughly committed to cooking for my picky eating family (since they don't cook and would starve if I stopped cooking for them..LOL). I was supposed to start a new diet that has been around for a while and proven effective to some people. The only reason I am trying this diet is because it is the only one I have not tried out of the countless ones that seemed to have failed me. Of course, I had to try to start this plan at the worst possible time and with the worst possible situation to deal with. Picture this.... A holiday weekend with the whole family home and their picky demands dictate we need to eat what is NOT on the required foods list. Yep, it's looking like its never gonna happen here. In fact, it has not happened and the holiday weekend is long past.
I did learn something recently and I am not all that thrilled about it when it comes to feeding my family. One person's diet restrictions are not good for all. DH is on a low sodium diet because he needs his blood pressure controlled. Well, low sodium diets are not good for a healthy teenager since she already has low blood pressure to begin with. In fact, at a recent visit to see the doctor about these recent "dizzy spells" that DD has been having, I learned that what I am feeding DH is not benefiting DD in any way. Of course, DH's diet restrictions don't affect me either way, but trying to make healthy meals out of his choice of consumable foods is not helping my waistline one bit according to this new diet plan I wanted to try. I have tried to just get back on the "salad train" and I am just not feeling all that motivated to eat like a rabbit. I know my portion control is in check. In fact, I think I am under-eating if that is remotely possible. Feeling like I am drowning internally with all that water I am drinking and there is still no change on the scale. Maybe I am going through the beginning stages of menopause since weight gain in inevitable anyway. Just not pleased about that one bit, I tell you.
I did get a compliment from a friend that I look just fine the way I am, but really.... a friend will say anything mood-lifting because that is what friends do. It would be nice to know from a stranger, but fishing for compliments from a stranger is creepy, so I will just accept the compliment and still not believe in it.
Oh, the whole diet thing I have mentioned? I apologize for sharing that. I wanted to avoid sharing my personal little hell in the battle of the bulge here. Of course, DD is suffering the ailment that all women suffer.... Attaining the "ideal" physique. And what I mean by "ideal" is what is shared after being "photoshopped" in magazines. Sure, it is nice to see perfection, but the drive to attain it because we all know that is what people prefer to see is another thing in itself. In fact, I have seen the creature it creates. It has green eyes of jealousy and black heart. I should know.... I look at it in the mirror every morning. In the pictures that I have seen of me... I see the broken person that I have become because of it. With all of the effort I put in to DD's life, I cannot seem to compete with media outlets.
I also need to apologize for the menopause comment. Really, who needs to hear about something that happens to all women anyway and the personal hell we go through. Sure, the story of hot flashes might be hilarious, but everything else is just misery intensified.
Now, the whole issue with my hobbies taking over my life.... I have a few hobbies I turn to in order to escape the stress of the day. I read way too much these days, but at least the feverish pace of a book a day has gone down a little. I now savor it for a few days. I do some things with beads. I have made many necklaces, earrings and bracelets over the past few years or so. It started off as simple stuff and now I am working with beads so small that even with my glasses on, I barely see the hole in which to string them. Maybe I will post some pictures in the future of that, once I find my camera again, that is. Then there is my painting on glass habit. Usually, in the fall I start that hobby. Hand-painted glass ornaments are what I do a lot of these days. I used to paint on glasses and vases, but it is cheaper to buy a box of glass ornaments from the hobby store and it keeps me busy for about an hour or two for a box. Then, I even grasped onto yet another old hobby and I have tons of yarn in my home to prove it.... I have been crocheting again. Yep, another habit I pull out in the fall and work on that until my hands cramp up. I have crocheted hats, scarves and I am working on a blanket, too. I learned some of my crocheting abilities on YouTube and chances are I will be back to maybe finishing that blanket this year. Of course, I chose a pattern that takes roughly triple the amount of yarn to make it and I am not even half-way done. I hope I finish it this year.
While it is great to have a creative outlet, it is not that healthy when that creative outlet takes over most of my day. I guess that when I was told that I am an "all or nothing" personality.... they were right. Thinking about it now.... I am one that never gives up much. While DH can drive me absolutely batty, I keep trying to make things better. While DD is stubborn, I am relentless in keeping her in check. When it comes to a diet, I am either all in and following the instructions to a "T", or I am so off the diet wagon that I do deserve those pitiful looks heavy people get in public. Even with my hobbies.... I am either bordering a one-person factory or I am not finishing what I started. Yep, just an average person that happens to have the symptoms of ADD, OCD, ADHD and whatever crazed disorder there is, but completely normal at the same time.
Oh well, time to get this day going. I have a pair of earrings I need to finish, fix a key chain for a co-worker, some laundry to do, a bit of cleaning in the house to attend to, and fit in a few chapters of this new book I got on my Kindle. Then I have 2 meals to prepare today since I made the mistake of using the fast to make stuff when I was at the hair show this past weekend and since I have to work tomorrow... I need a quick meal to make for after work so DH does not pull out his exceptional whining abilities of starving to death when I get home. Yep, just another day in the life of a person that chooses to do too much.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!!!!
Well, lets see... Since my last blog, my life has been pretty uneventful and eventful in the same breath. I have been called in to the salon to take care of a few clients that could not make it in on my usual day that I commit to.... Saturday. I have hit the pinnacle of what my best friend warned me about... My hobbies are catching up with me. Between the hours of my day, I fit in reading, bead work, and feverishly waiting for the new season of Castle by watching all of the reruns on TV via "on demand" through my cable provider. Sure, I fit in some cleaning and I have been thoroughly committed to cooking for my picky eating family (since they don't cook and would starve if I stopped cooking for them..LOL). I was supposed to start a new diet that has been around for a while and proven effective to some people. The only reason I am trying this diet is because it is the only one I have not tried out of the countless ones that seemed to have failed me. Of course, I had to try to start this plan at the worst possible time and with the worst possible situation to deal with. Picture this.... A holiday weekend with the whole family home and their picky demands dictate we need to eat what is NOT on the required foods list. Yep, it's looking like its never gonna happen here. In fact, it has not happened and the holiday weekend is long past.
I did learn something recently and I am not all that thrilled about it when it comes to feeding my family. One person's diet restrictions are not good for all. DH is on a low sodium diet because he needs his blood pressure controlled. Well, low sodium diets are not good for a healthy teenager since she already has low blood pressure to begin with. In fact, at a recent visit to see the doctor about these recent "dizzy spells" that DD has been having, I learned that what I am feeding DH is not benefiting DD in any way. Of course, DH's diet restrictions don't affect me either way, but trying to make healthy meals out of his choice of consumable foods is not helping my waistline one bit according to this new diet plan I wanted to try. I have tried to just get back on the "salad train" and I am just not feeling all that motivated to eat like a rabbit. I know my portion control is in check. In fact, I think I am under-eating if that is remotely possible. Feeling like I am drowning internally with all that water I am drinking and there is still no change on the scale. Maybe I am going through the beginning stages of menopause since weight gain in inevitable anyway. Just not pleased about that one bit, I tell you.
I did get a compliment from a friend that I look just fine the way I am, but really.... a friend will say anything mood-lifting because that is what friends do. It would be nice to know from a stranger, but fishing for compliments from a stranger is creepy, so I will just accept the compliment and still not believe in it.
Oh, the whole diet thing I have mentioned? I apologize for sharing that. I wanted to avoid sharing my personal little hell in the battle of the bulge here. Of course, DD is suffering the ailment that all women suffer.... Attaining the "ideal" physique. And what I mean by "ideal" is what is shared after being "photoshopped" in magazines. Sure, it is nice to see perfection, but the drive to attain it because we all know that is what people prefer to see is another thing in itself. In fact, I have seen the creature it creates. It has green eyes of jealousy and black heart. I should know.... I look at it in the mirror every morning. In the pictures that I have seen of me... I see the broken person that I have become because of it. With all of the effort I put in to DD's life, I cannot seem to compete with media outlets.
I also need to apologize for the menopause comment. Really, who needs to hear about something that happens to all women anyway and the personal hell we go through. Sure, the story of hot flashes might be hilarious, but everything else is just misery intensified.
Now, the whole issue with my hobbies taking over my life.... I have a few hobbies I turn to in order to escape the stress of the day. I read way too much these days, but at least the feverish pace of a book a day has gone down a little. I now savor it for a few days. I do some things with beads. I have made many necklaces, earrings and bracelets over the past few years or so. It started off as simple stuff and now I am working with beads so small that even with my glasses on, I barely see the hole in which to string them. Maybe I will post some pictures in the future of that, once I find my camera again, that is. Then there is my painting on glass habit. Usually, in the fall I start that hobby. Hand-painted glass ornaments are what I do a lot of these days. I used to paint on glasses and vases, but it is cheaper to buy a box of glass ornaments from the hobby store and it keeps me busy for about an hour or two for a box. Then, I even grasped onto yet another old hobby and I have tons of yarn in my home to prove it.... I have been crocheting again. Yep, another habit I pull out in the fall and work on that until my hands cramp up. I have crocheted hats, scarves and I am working on a blanket, too. I learned some of my crocheting abilities on YouTube and chances are I will be back to maybe finishing that blanket this year. Of course, I chose a pattern that takes roughly triple the amount of yarn to make it and I am not even half-way done. I hope I finish it this year.
While it is great to have a creative outlet, it is not that healthy when that creative outlet takes over most of my day. I guess that when I was told that I am an "all or nothing" personality.... they were right. Thinking about it now.... I am one that never gives up much. While DH can drive me absolutely batty, I keep trying to make things better. While DD is stubborn, I am relentless in keeping her in check. When it comes to a diet, I am either all in and following the instructions to a "T", or I am so off the diet wagon that I do deserve those pitiful looks heavy people get in public. Even with my hobbies.... I am either bordering a one-person factory or I am not finishing what I started. Yep, just an average person that happens to have the symptoms of ADD, OCD, ADHD and whatever crazed disorder there is, but completely normal at the same time.
Oh well, time to get this day going. I have a pair of earrings I need to finish, fix a key chain for a co-worker, some laundry to do, a bit of cleaning in the house to attend to, and fit in a few chapters of this new book I got on my Kindle. Then I have 2 meals to prepare today since I made the mistake of using the fast to make stuff when I was at the hair show this past weekend and since I have to work tomorrow... I need a quick meal to make for after work so DH does not pull out his exceptional whining abilities of starving to death when I get home. Yep, just another day in the life of a person that chooses to do too much.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!!!!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
The games people play.....
Perceptions, reputations and opinions are all the rage these days. What a person perceives rarely ever is true to fact, reputations are based upon opinions, and opinions are based from jaded thoughts stemmed from personal disappointments. Be forewarned people!!! There happens to be a new class of backstabbers out there working their voodoo and nobody has been the wiser!! Nice people finish last and the squeakiest wheel gets the stockpiled oil, so to speak. What makes this even harder to share is the notion that there are a special breed of people that seem to thrive on misery and opinions. It is those that choose to build the walls that manage to function, albeit wary of others in protection that do end up becoming something very similar to lack of caring. Even the concept of drama-creators that benefit solely from their chaotic-creating abilities can benefit them while leaving the rest in the dust.
I have been slowly becoming one of those people that refuse to fight for what is right for me anymore. I believe it is from the constant barrage of negativity piled upon my shoulders that I have accepted as a part of life. I have started to believe that conformity is better than standing up and demanding answers. While I secretly wish I could be the center of attention that is adored by all, I know that I just do not have any more fight in me to claw my way to the top of the heap. Nope, I am accepting the lowest form of existence because I am too tired to fight anymore. I am considering having the word "welcome" tattooed on my forehead to avoid the process of getting walked on and just let the final result happen rather quickly.
While I would absolutely love to share my thoughts today about this subject, I was informed that what I happen to share will be scrutinized as well as read in such a fashion that some certain people will believe I am writing about them. Heck, regardless of what I choose to share is considered relate-able and can blur the lines of sharing my personal thoughts as well as my thoughts of others and I just do not have it in me to explain myself anymore. Basically, I am just too tired to do much these days, but would prefer to have a fully quiet few days that allows me to do things I enjoy instead of things I have grown to loathe. I think after sharing this blog... I just might do just that.
With that being said.... I will say this.... I know I chose the path I am on and it is up to me to choose another path. That complaining will get me nowhere as well as remaining compliant. I know that I show examples to those that refuse to understand as well as take the initiative and grab responsibility by the horns and do what needs to be done. I have heard of just about every "I am woman, hear me roar" bit of advice as well as the Freudian concept to the root of why people do the things that they do to me and everywhere in between. I am just too tired to care anymore. As the saying goes.... "It is what it is, and there is nothing more to it", has become almost a mantra that I hear in my mind. All I can do these days is wait it out and hope I come across another person that chooses to believe in their gut I am worthy or even have those in my life realize that I am worthy and valued. Sadly, society has made life a game of epic proportions; from friendships to family to careers and what people happen to see when they look at you. Heck, I deal with that within the confines of my own home and I still come up short for consideration. I am just a body that does stuff and never achieves success, appreciation or opportunity. I am hopeful that someday I will be worthy to someone or even someplace, but I am not a game player, so I wonder..... where does a genuine person happen to fit?
Thanks for reading. Sorry it was nothing groundbreaking or even knowledgeable that offers a solution. It is just my feelings for the day....well, the past year or so. It just seems to be weighing down upon me more and more these days. Well, have a nice day everyone and I hope you find happiness.
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