In any long term relationship, there are areas of struggle. The one that keeps popping into my mind is when it comes to doing something a certain way, it is always scrutinized as being perpetually wrong by the other person. Here are a few examples that I have managed to drudge up from my memory banks....
There was this one time, DH had a complaint about work. Yep, if you have not figured it out in that one sentence... I went into fix-it mode and offered a suggestion and was slammed for putting my two cents where it supposedly does not belong since it is his business we were talking about. His complaint was that he felt that he was doing more work than his fellow employees and was feeling quite unappreciated about it. You see, I had an idea that would make it proven the levels of work accomplished per employee by seeking out a computer program that would track every employees accomplishments. Knowing that this was a great and helpful idea, I was slammed for even mentioning this idea. Apparently, he thought I was clueless about how a business is to be run and never even thought twice about my idea. Knowing it is better to leave things well enough alone, I dropped pursuing the idea further. Well, a few months later, DH comes home with wonderful news.... His business partner just found a.... Yep, gonna say it... computer program that will track all the employee accomplishments.... AND that it was the greatest idea ever!! WOW, is all I could say as I was biting my tongue... remembering how my idea that I mentioned months earlier was so stupid, he would never even consider it.
Here is another one that is a bit different, but the idea is the same.....
Just a couple of years ago, the economy was showing struggle... in fact, it was plummeting. Businesses were doing major layoffs, some businesses ended up closing their doors in a matter of months. Things were tough. Our esteemed President Obama had a wonderful idea that was not thought out really well when he implemented it... Cash for clunkers. Oh, trade in your broken down car for a tax credit on a new one. Hmmm... DH owns a garage that works really hard fixing those clunkers and now if there is a major rise in auto sales, there is no need for repairs on brand new cars is there... Well, business was painfully slow, there were some times that they could not afford to pay everyone's salary so DH being a partner in this garage would willingly not take a paycheck in order to keep is employees. Well, not telling your wife this makes it really hard to pay the bills if there is no money coming in. As frustrated as I was about this, I buckled down and budgeted everything as best as I could. When our savings was dwindled down to almost nothing because we needed to pay the mortgage, I decided to have a little talk with DH. I was accused of being a wasteful spender and that I have no clue how to budget. My response... I handed him the checkbook and the bills and let him take over. Next thing I know is that DH had a little talk with his business partner and was able to get his back pay from the stockpile that his partner was making to create a buffer when it came to business being slow. DH did not believe me when it came to what I buy in groceries as being the lowest price out there, so I now drag the family every week for our weekly grocery shopping. Knowing that I have proven my point, I still have not gotten one ounce of kudos for a job well done. Why is that?
Why do people have a tendency to never admit that they are wrong? Why do people refuse to take into consideration an idea and actually look into it as a serious gesture that they appreciate your input? Why is it that when an effort is made, a sacrifice is made for the greater good, or even an idea that was never considered actually being utilized because of another, is never appreciated? Do some people actually believe that they are always right? That they are the only one to solve a problem? That they are the only one making the sacrifice? Or is it that there is a serious lack of respect going on here? I never said that I am the brightest person alive, but I do have moments of absolute genius scattered about. I guess I will never really know.....
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Crickets...
Spring is upon us... The wacky temperature shifts has begun. Just a week ago from today, we had temperatures in the low to mid 80's with humidity, to boot. In the course of a week, we went from those very warm and balmy 80 degrees to a frigid 30 with rain and snow. Living in the Midwest, really gives you a taste of everything before it finally settles down into the season. As I have gotten older, my tolerance of this is a little higher, but there is always going to be a part of me that wishes there was a smoother transition between them. Is the harsh fluctuations a sign of global warming? Doubtful, but I do wonder at times.
I just find the change in seasons an interesting thing. Spring is the renewal of what was once resting under the blanket of snow. The trees start to wake up and the leaves start pushing forth; the grass that was left dormant starts to come back to life with the color of green; springing up from the once frozen ground are tulips to add just a little more color to the scene. Summer is full of color, loaded with warmth and sunshine; the layers of clothes become less; the pale skin that has been lacking sunshine begins to get some color; windows are open, fresh air flows through the window screens; BBQ grills being fired up to give the kitchen appliances a rest. Autumn begins the preparation of nature's slumber; leaves once green change colors and fall gently towards the ground; the once lush green grass changes color as it prepares for a winter's slumber; the colorful flowers of the landscapes change from bright and cool colors of pansies into the rustic and warm colors of mums. Winter brings us the blanket to cover all of the sleeping landscape that once had colors of the rainbow; cold temperatures keep families snuggled in blankets and fires rage in the fireplace.
One thing I think about are the crickets. As annoying as they are with their "song" filling the silence, I see them as a reminder that no matter how alone you might feel, they are there. I am not sure if people remember watching Saturday morning cartoons, I have no doubt that you do. Remember how when there is a moment of complete silence and being alone, the sound of crickets would fill the dim? I felt that crickets got a bum rap when it came to being alone.
I guess my long rambling to this point is about how I have been feeling lately. I have not been as much of a social butterfly on the ever so famous social site called Facebook. I guess it is because I really have nothing witty and funny to share. It might be because I am not really a popular person being sought out. I was never the type of person that demanded constant attention, but this darn site with the constant updates on the "news feed wall" of everyone jumping in with sarcasm and witty things to say, even a few manage to share things about what they believe in, others share every thought or feeling, and there are the ones that post music videos of the music they want to hear and share. Friends are usually willing to say something to everything when the desire arrives, but there are times that they choose to say nothing. I seem to have cornered the market on saying something and hearing nothing in return. This should not bother me so much, but lately, I feel it is. It is my moment of sharing the cricket experience with everyone.
Maybe my blogging is pushing people away from connecting with me. I could be sharing too much and leaving no room for people to comment. Maybe I lack humor or a "wow" factor in my writing. I have been told to my face conflicting things that range from being completely clueless and a confusing writer to a talented person that they enjoy what I share. Views and perspectives are just that. They will vary greatly. Some say I share too much to not sharing enough. I might have a catchy title, but fall short when it comes to what I am saying. I have even been told that people might see me as a needy and insecure or as a joke. I guess all I am trying to do is share thoughts and feelings, maybe even some hopes and dreams, but I see my blogging as a way to communicate with people and to get them to open up too. I have my days of feeling like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar, flitting around, trying to break free and share the beauty of life, the feeling of hope, the understanding of another, and the freedom to expression. I wonder why my deep thought scares people into silence, I guess I will never know, but I will remember that every time there is silence around me, I am never alone because I have the crickets to fill the dim.
I just find the change in seasons an interesting thing. Spring is the renewal of what was once resting under the blanket of snow. The trees start to wake up and the leaves start pushing forth; the grass that was left dormant starts to come back to life with the color of green; springing up from the once frozen ground are tulips to add just a little more color to the scene. Summer is full of color, loaded with warmth and sunshine; the layers of clothes become less; the pale skin that has been lacking sunshine begins to get some color; windows are open, fresh air flows through the window screens; BBQ grills being fired up to give the kitchen appliances a rest. Autumn begins the preparation of nature's slumber; leaves once green change colors and fall gently towards the ground; the once lush green grass changes color as it prepares for a winter's slumber; the colorful flowers of the landscapes change from bright and cool colors of pansies into the rustic and warm colors of mums. Winter brings us the blanket to cover all of the sleeping landscape that once had colors of the rainbow; cold temperatures keep families snuggled in blankets and fires rage in the fireplace.
One thing I think about are the crickets. As annoying as they are with their "song" filling the silence, I see them as a reminder that no matter how alone you might feel, they are there. I am not sure if people remember watching Saturday morning cartoons, I have no doubt that you do. Remember how when there is a moment of complete silence and being alone, the sound of crickets would fill the dim? I felt that crickets got a bum rap when it came to being alone.
I guess my long rambling to this point is about how I have been feeling lately. I have not been as much of a social butterfly on the ever so famous social site called Facebook. I guess it is because I really have nothing witty and funny to share. It might be because I am not really a popular person being sought out. I was never the type of person that demanded constant attention, but this darn site with the constant updates on the "news feed wall" of everyone jumping in with sarcasm and witty things to say, even a few manage to share things about what they believe in, others share every thought or feeling, and there are the ones that post music videos of the music they want to hear and share. Friends are usually willing to say something to everything when the desire arrives, but there are times that they choose to say nothing. I seem to have cornered the market on saying something and hearing nothing in return. This should not bother me so much, but lately, I feel it is. It is my moment of sharing the cricket experience with everyone.
Maybe my blogging is pushing people away from connecting with me. I could be sharing too much and leaving no room for people to comment. Maybe I lack humor or a "wow" factor in my writing. I have been told to my face conflicting things that range from being completely clueless and a confusing writer to a talented person that they enjoy what I share. Views and perspectives are just that. They will vary greatly. Some say I share too much to not sharing enough. I might have a catchy title, but fall short when it comes to what I am saying. I have even been told that people might see me as a needy and insecure or as a joke. I guess all I am trying to do is share thoughts and feelings, maybe even some hopes and dreams, but I see my blogging as a way to communicate with people and to get them to open up too. I have my days of feeling like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar, flitting around, trying to break free and share the beauty of life, the feeling of hope, the understanding of another, and the freedom to expression. I wonder why my deep thought scares people into silence, I guess I will never know, but I will remember that every time there is silence around me, I am never alone because I have the crickets to fill the dim.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
My quiet moments building up to an honest moment...
If you have not noticed yet, I have been less than talkative these days. My blogs are becoming more and more scarce, my posts on Facebook basically consist of game requests, and what I do happen to share is really nothing Earth-shattering. I believe that I finally fell into the deep thought mode that makes me second guess everything I write and do.
Just the other day, I had a curious moment that started as a comparison between being opinionated or being a skeptic. Both are the similar, yet so different. You have to be one to be the other. Here is what I learned...
Opinionated people believe things are to be one way and will never question or sway from their decision. Basically, it is a person who sees things as black or white with no gray areas. Times might have changed, but what you believe is fact, never changes. Skeptical people are serious doubters. They tend to make their decision after all facts are presented and scrutinized to the nth degree. You might see them as being a cynic. In order to be one, you need to dabble in the other. Skeptics are opinionated as well as opinionated are skeptics. Deep thought like that can give a person a headache thinking about it.
After attending a recent hair show, I realized that I am more of an "old dog" that is less than likely to learn a "new trick" when it comes to how I handle my job. Well, that and realizing that there is really nothing new when it comes to what is the current trend.
A recent walk-out at my current job was a large enough shock to make me question about my future. Nope, I did not quit suddenly, but several of my fellow employees did. I do wish them the best of luck in their new endeavor, they will be missed, but I feel as if our friendship is a little strained. After losing a few of them as Facebook friends (by their choice only), it makes me wonder if friendships are really strong enough to weather any storm.
The current financial situation at home is still strained at the seams. I have an opportunity to put in even more hours at my current job, but with some serious trust issues with the little one at home, I feel torn about doing more than what I am already doing. With summer vacation nearing for DD, my presence is needed more than ever. I am thinking that I might try to go the whole "flex scheduling" for the summer and then make a larger commitment at work once school is back in session. Sadly, either way I go with this thought process, I am not guaranteed larger paychecks because my job is a commission paying job.
I have no doubt that my less than stellar act of not saying much on a social site has given me a less than warm feeling when I do share "what's on my mind" and there is nothing commented in return. My feelings about Facebook has even become less about being social site, but a reenactment of the whole high school popularity contest. I might get a "poke" here and there, maybe even a message, but the invites to events are getting less and less. I know it is because I cannot afford to attend all the events. Seeing a reply of "might attend" or "not attending" is a major factor to not getting invited to the next event. Who knows... Maybe I am becoming a bit critical about it all... maybe I am not. I do appreciate being thought of, though so thanks to all that think of me. I guess I have not really figured out how to utilize the social site anyway. Well, I was never one to strive to be the most popular one anyway, so this should not affect me so much, but it does.
I could also blame myself for my inability to share everything because I do happen to get criticized for every action and inaction I make. I know I strive to make everyone happy. I try so hard because I hate confrontation. I have had my fair share of abusive situations and I understand the crippling fear of disappointment by ones we care about deeply. I have had a few abusive relationships in my past. Mainly, they were verbally abusive, but one wasn't. I get reminded of it every time my back spasms. I know that my past experiences have made me stronger, but it also makes me more cautious. Everyone has had their fair share of pain in their life. I know that I have, but when the pain and the memory are all that seems to pop up in my head, I know it is best to keep that to myself. Nobody wants to hear about pain and strife. I guess that is why I have been having a real long stretch of being quiet. Yep, I can put a smile on my face through the pain, but it does not make it go away.
Just the other day, I had a curious moment that started as a comparison between being opinionated or being a skeptic. Both are the similar, yet so different. You have to be one to be the other. Here is what I learned...
Opinionated people believe things are to be one way and will never question or sway from their decision. Basically, it is a person who sees things as black or white with no gray areas. Times might have changed, but what you believe is fact, never changes. Skeptical people are serious doubters. They tend to make their decision after all facts are presented and scrutinized to the nth degree. You might see them as being a cynic. In order to be one, you need to dabble in the other. Skeptics are opinionated as well as opinionated are skeptics. Deep thought like that can give a person a headache thinking about it.
After attending a recent hair show, I realized that I am more of an "old dog" that is less than likely to learn a "new trick" when it comes to how I handle my job. Well, that and realizing that there is really nothing new when it comes to what is the current trend.
A recent walk-out at my current job was a large enough shock to make me question about my future. Nope, I did not quit suddenly, but several of my fellow employees did. I do wish them the best of luck in their new endeavor, they will be missed, but I feel as if our friendship is a little strained. After losing a few of them as Facebook friends (by their choice only), it makes me wonder if friendships are really strong enough to weather any storm.
The current financial situation at home is still strained at the seams. I have an opportunity to put in even more hours at my current job, but with some serious trust issues with the little one at home, I feel torn about doing more than what I am already doing. With summer vacation nearing for DD, my presence is needed more than ever. I am thinking that I might try to go the whole "flex scheduling" for the summer and then make a larger commitment at work once school is back in session. Sadly, either way I go with this thought process, I am not guaranteed larger paychecks because my job is a commission paying job.
I have no doubt that my less than stellar act of not saying much on a social site has given me a less than warm feeling when I do share "what's on my mind" and there is nothing commented in return. My feelings about Facebook has even become less about being social site, but a reenactment of the whole high school popularity contest. I might get a "poke" here and there, maybe even a message, but the invites to events are getting less and less. I know it is because I cannot afford to attend all the events. Seeing a reply of "might attend" or "not attending" is a major factor to not getting invited to the next event. Who knows... Maybe I am becoming a bit critical about it all... maybe I am not. I do appreciate being thought of, though so thanks to all that think of me. I guess I have not really figured out how to utilize the social site anyway. Well, I was never one to strive to be the most popular one anyway, so this should not affect me so much, but it does.
I could also blame myself for my inability to share everything because I do happen to get criticized for every action and inaction I make. I know I strive to make everyone happy. I try so hard because I hate confrontation. I have had my fair share of abusive situations and I understand the crippling fear of disappointment by ones we care about deeply. I have had a few abusive relationships in my past. Mainly, they were verbally abusive, but one wasn't. I get reminded of it every time my back spasms. I know that my past experiences have made me stronger, but it also makes me more cautious. Everyone has had their fair share of pain in their life. I know that I have, but when the pain and the memory are all that seems to pop up in my head, I know it is best to keep that to myself. Nobody wants to hear about pain and strife. I guess that is why I have been having a real long stretch of being quiet. Yep, I can put a smile on my face through the pain, but it does not make it go away.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Old dog trying to learn new tricks...
Well, my weekend was filled with continuing education that is required by the state for my Cosmetologist (aka beautician's) license. Never one to really complain about learning new things, I paid for my ticket and went. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that in a creative industry like I am in, there is always room for learning newer and more efficient techniques, but being in this business as long as I have... well, I think I have managed to see it all. This year was to be different. I decided to take a few classes that are supposed to help you become a money making machine, so to speak. Basically, it is business classes for the service industry. In fact, the major draw to go to these classes was because one of my favorite educators was teaching the class. His name is Michael Cole. Some of his work has graced various magazines and has been seen on the red carpet. He is a really talented man in this industry and I figured if he can make it big, he just might have some ideas I never thought of in my dizziest days..... Well, I was definitely taught something from that class and I am still trying to figure how to make it work during a financial crisis like the one we all have been feeling. You see, in my line of work, getting your hair cut is the last thing on a person's list these days. Money and time are the reasons people are getting their hair cut less and less often. I don't work at the cheapest shop, but I am not at the most expensive either, so the competition is tough these days.
Most of the things he mentioned were those "ah ha" moments of where I just might be faltering, but there are some areas that just don't make sense to me. The major one was "work smarter, not harder". Hmmm... "old dog" believes in hard work, "new trick" states to work smarter (aka sell your backside off with services and products that they did not think they wanted), "old dog" sees people struggling, "new trick" states that people really have the money to spend no matter how much they say they don't, "old dog" offers discounts and free add ons, and "new trick" says to always charge full price. "Old dog" knows that people will go elsewhere for their haircut if it is cheaper, and somehow "new trick" thinks it is just fine that you lose some clients because of it. Hmmm... in the "commission" world I work in, if there is no client... there is no work... there is no earnings. Now, I agree that there comes a time when a person needs to stop giving things away and actually charge them full price, but how can a person believe that people will come back if your prices are no longer budget friendly to them? Is the right time, now or when the economy finally is back on the rise and that unemployment level is low? I am not sure that I can take that risk just yet.
Now, not to sound cynical.... well, maybe a little (wink, wink)... It appears that this mentor that I have held in high regard has changed his views over the years. For when I asked about my concerns with how the economy has affected the volume of work presented, his reply was completely "text book", unfeeling and sent me on my way, which somehow that was just wrong to me. It appears that my mentor has lost his compassion for others, in fact, he has not shared any of his skills when it comes to his stylist abilities or even any proof that his theory works. It appears that in order to become successful during a financial crisis, you need to write a book about how to become successful; to have a plan and make it completely attainable for the low, low price of $85 if you order today because I gather that is working just well for him. Hmmm... I gather he never really thought beyond the old saying of, "in order to make money, you need to spend money", because if I had the money to spend, I just might have considered buying his book. Then maybe I would understand his thought process better. Since I do not have the available cash to toss to an overpriced book, I think I will just go to the library, find something similar, read it, and "tweak" it to making it more applicable to my line of work. Potential savings... $85.... Proof of my theory that people are willing to seek other alternatives... Obvious. Sadly, he won't see that. Maybe he doesn't because turning your back on the ones that stick by you is a good thing in his book..... Or so he says...
Have a great day everyone :)
Most of the things he mentioned were those "ah ha" moments of where I just might be faltering, but there are some areas that just don't make sense to me. The major one was "work smarter, not harder". Hmmm... "old dog" believes in hard work, "new trick" states to work smarter (aka sell your backside off with services and products that they did not think they wanted), "old dog" sees people struggling, "new trick" states that people really have the money to spend no matter how much they say they don't, "old dog" offers discounts and free add ons, and "new trick" says to always charge full price. "Old dog" knows that people will go elsewhere for their haircut if it is cheaper, and somehow "new trick" thinks it is just fine that you lose some clients because of it. Hmmm... in the "commission" world I work in, if there is no client... there is no work... there is no earnings. Now, I agree that there comes a time when a person needs to stop giving things away and actually charge them full price, but how can a person believe that people will come back if your prices are no longer budget friendly to them? Is the right time, now or when the economy finally is back on the rise and that unemployment level is low? I am not sure that I can take that risk just yet.
Now, not to sound cynical.... well, maybe a little (wink, wink)... It appears that this mentor that I have held in high regard has changed his views over the years. For when I asked about my concerns with how the economy has affected the volume of work presented, his reply was completely "text book", unfeeling and sent me on my way, which somehow that was just wrong to me. It appears that my mentor has lost his compassion for others, in fact, he has not shared any of his skills when it comes to his stylist abilities or even any proof that his theory works. It appears that in order to become successful during a financial crisis, you need to write a book about how to become successful; to have a plan and make it completely attainable for the low, low price of $85 if you order today because I gather that is working just well for him. Hmmm... I gather he never really thought beyond the old saying of, "in order to make money, you need to spend money", because if I had the money to spend, I just might have considered buying his book. Then maybe I would understand his thought process better. Since I do not have the available cash to toss to an overpriced book, I think I will just go to the library, find something similar, read it, and "tweak" it to making it more applicable to my line of work. Potential savings... $85.... Proof of my theory that people are willing to seek other alternatives... Obvious. Sadly, he won't see that. Maybe he doesn't because turning your back on the ones that stick by you is a good thing in his book..... Or so he says...
Have a great day everyone :)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Well, how YOU doin'?
Well, today's blog actually had another title, but I thought calling it..."I did not need to see THAT" was a bit of a stretch... Well, maybe not... Keep reading and you will see what I mean....
Yesterday, I decided to face the beast and step on the darn bathroom scale. Yep, quite upsetting seeing the number go UP, so I dug deep in my soul to pull out my determination to NOT be lazy another day and actually hit the gym AND still do all of my usual running around. I figured that extra exercise has to do something to change my mindset that I am cursed to constantly look like I just gave birth because I have not done that in a little over 11 years ago. Well, I knew that once my mind heard the word "gym" be bounced around, my hip started to hurt a little. Not enough to stop me from going, but just enough to get my attention that I should take it easy there, so I grabbed my swimsuit and went to the pool. I figured doing exercises in the water would be less taxing on my back and hip. I used to take water aerobics classes, so I know what exercises are done in the water and made up my own little routine of walking, hopping, twisting and such. I even pulled out some water weights for additional resistance in some parts. I watched the clock for each set of exercises. Putting in an hour felt great until, that is, I got out of the pool. Then, I felt like I was hit by a truck.
Now, I know I tend to have a tough look on my face when I am not smiling. In fact, I can probably look a little intimidating if I want to, but once a person gets to know me, I am just a softy, sometimes sarcastic, cynical, or even a bit funny, but a softy nonetheless. I am not sure how my outward appearance can attract anyone to even approach me, especially when I have my determined face on, but it happens from time to time. Usually, it is from the type of guy that has an Axe to grind, you know... a Soprano-esque wanna be tough guy. Basically, a guy that acts tough, but is really just harmless. Well, in the first 20 minutes of my workout, I get splashed by this guy diving in the pool and he swims over to the other side of the pool where I am treading to get to. He pops up, looks at me, smiles and says, "How you doin'?". My reply is my usual, "Just wonderful." and I keep on doing my workout. After about 5 minutes of him floating around in the pool (not sure if he is still watching me because I tend to ignore people when I workout), he jumps out and leaves. He did make sure to make a big scene getting out of the pool in front of me with his toying around with his swim trunks, a stretch and a strut away.
I try to not be one to judge a person's clothing choice, but apparently this guy did not check to see if his pale yellow swim trunks were lined, because when lightweight, light colors get wet, they become see through, Well, if you have not figured out by now... they weren't and they were definitely see through. Not to call myself a prude, but seeing some dude's junk through his trunks is not my ideal thing to see any time of the day. After he walked away proudly back to the locker rooms, all I could do is shake my head in disbelief, giggle and learn another interesting tidbit... Having an ego that can make a room feel real stuffy is just that person's way of compensating for some less than big attributes...LOL.
Hey! I could not help it. Everyone has that inability to turn away from seeing a total train wreck in action...
I am taking the day off from the gym today to heal up a bit before doing any more. Being up at 3am with a back spasm and that glorious ice pick feeling in my hip kind of made me too tired to go today, but I will be there tomorrow.... Have a great day everyone :)
Yesterday, I decided to face the beast and step on the darn bathroom scale. Yep, quite upsetting seeing the number go UP, so I dug deep in my soul to pull out my determination to NOT be lazy another day and actually hit the gym AND still do all of my usual running around. I figured that extra exercise has to do something to change my mindset that I am cursed to constantly look like I just gave birth because I have not done that in a little over 11 years ago. Well, I knew that once my mind heard the word "gym" be bounced around, my hip started to hurt a little. Not enough to stop me from going, but just enough to get my attention that I should take it easy there, so I grabbed my swimsuit and went to the pool. I figured doing exercises in the water would be less taxing on my back and hip. I used to take water aerobics classes, so I know what exercises are done in the water and made up my own little routine of walking, hopping, twisting and such. I even pulled out some water weights for additional resistance in some parts. I watched the clock for each set of exercises. Putting in an hour felt great until, that is, I got out of the pool. Then, I felt like I was hit by a truck.
Now, I know I tend to have a tough look on my face when I am not smiling. In fact, I can probably look a little intimidating if I want to, but once a person gets to know me, I am just a softy, sometimes sarcastic, cynical, or even a bit funny, but a softy nonetheless. I am not sure how my outward appearance can attract anyone to even approach me, especially when I have my determined face on, but it happens from time to time. Usually, it is from the type of guy that has an Axe to grind, you know... a Soprano-esque wanna be tough guy. Basically, a guy that acts tough, but is really just harmless. Well, in the first 20 minutes of my workout, I get splashed by this guy diving in the pool and he swims over to the other side of the pool where I am treading to get to. He pops up, looks at me, smiles and says, "How you doin'?". My reply is my usual, "Just wonderful." and I keep on doing my workout. After about 5 minutes of him floating around in the pool (not sure if he is still watching me because I tend to ignore people when I workout), he jumps out and leaves. He did make sure to make a big scene getting out of the pool in front of me with his toying around with his swim trunks, a stretch and a strut away.
I try to not be one to judge a person's clothing choice, but apparently this guy did not check to see if his pale yellow swim trunks were lined, because when lightweight, light colors get wet, they become see through, Well, if you have not figured out by now... they weren't and they were definitely see through. Not to call myself a prude, but seeing some dude's junk through his trunks is not my ideal thing to see any time of the day. After he walked away proudly back to the locker rooms, all I could do is shake my head in disbelief, giggle and learn another interesting tidbit... Having an ego that can make a room feel real stuffy is just that person's way of compensating for some less than big attributes...LOL.
Hey! I could not help it. Everyone has that inability to turn away from seeing a total train wreck in action...
I am taking the day off from the gym today to heal up a bit before doing any more. Being up at 3am with a back spasm and that glorious ice pick feeling in my hip kind of made me too tired to go today, but I will be there tomorrow.... Have a great day everyone :)
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Phoenix is to rise from the ashes....
The Phoenix is an amazing mythical creature. When it gets old and it is the time to die, it bursts into flames and becomes a pile of ashes, only to rise again as a youthful, strong phoenix again. The cycle of life does have a beginning and an end, but there is always a new beginning waiting to rise up and take its place.
Have you ever thought of yourself as being a Phoenix?
I know, odd question. Maybe I need to elaborate just a bit more.....
Ever had a huge challenge lay before you that you desire to achieve? Look at it as a stage in your life, or as it is for the Phoenix, it is your life line. I know I do. It is.... Yep, gonna say it.... To lose some serious weight. I know, I know.... I promised to not blog about my desire to get back down to my fighting weight, but today I let curiosity get the better of me and I stepped on that evil little thing.... My bathroom scale. I thought that I was doing okay, but alas, I gained a couple more pounds. I know what the culprit is, but I have not found a solution for it. It is called balance. When a person gives up one thing, we tend to find another thing to take its place. Usually, it is something less damaging, I think, but I could be wrong. It is like a reformed alcoholic becoming a serious coffee drinker and smoker; like a former smoker becoming overweight because food took the place of the cigarette. Mine is being on a diet and exercise program that has one factor of a proper diet removed and replaced it with chocolate. Yep, gave up bread for Lent and now craves chocolate all the time. The desire to exercise has been put on perpetual hold due to a raging pain in my hip that decides to hurt once the desire to hit the gym arrives. Instead of going for a walk, I sit my butt down and read a book.
Yep, I am that Phoenix. Looking at the devastation of my failed attempts of losing weight. The ashes and cinders of every successful sabotage of a healthier lifestyle. I know that I have been eating right for the most part, but lacking the vision for portion control. I have the energy to be more active, but have a stronger will to be lazy. All I need to do now is step into the fiery pile, let it consume me and rise again as a stronger and more determined person.
I guess my thought of being a Phoenix can inspire you to be one too. Maybe your challenge is different, maybe it is the same, but knowing that if you face the devastation, dive into the wreckage and let it become all that you see, it will consume you. In the end, you will become that Phoenix that faces the flames and will rise above it all a stronger person for it.
May today be the day that you rise and conquer the flames of defeat to rise above it all with a new sense of hope and determination. To never lay down and die, but to rise up and live life to the fullest. As for me... I am grabbing my iPod and going to the gym... pain and all.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Perceptions, impressions, expectations, and twisted words...
Oh, to live a drama free life!! I wish it was that easy.... Just a little annoyance from yesterday that has managed to affect me all day today.... Why would I let something as bothersome as a rumor affect my sunny disposition, you ask? Well, as simple as it may seem on the surface, it seems to have some pretty deep roots that have managed to tangle into other annoyances that I just managed to push aside for far too long. Somehow, that grain of sand has managed to become a mountain too tall to climb over, but I figured that I could at least try to chisel it down to a smaller and more manageable size by blogging my thought process about it.
Hmmm... Where to begin.... Okay... here goes....
Now, I understand that everyone is different. Our thought process, our decisions, our feelings and our level of understanding is different. We react differently when it comes to what we observe and experience. I just wonder if people actually take the time to think about another's perspective of things. You know... actually think if their actions, or better yet, reactions are considered justified at all angles.
Here is the shortest version I can think of...
If a person that remains relatively reasonable when ignored or passed up for potential growth at their job gets an opportunity to actually have some work sent their way in a place filled with other people fighting to get more work gets a stab in the back... Is it right to be a bit set off about it all? Rumors are just that... rumors, but there seems to be a bit of a perception issue. This rumor labeled a person as greedy. Yep, I was called greedy for taking an appointment at work at a time when I had nothing on my book and ended up having 3 additional clients show up with no appointment that asked for me in addition to taking an appointment. I was told by the receptionist that I could take that client since I had the least amount of work in my book, but later heard that since I took the appointment and booked it myself, I am greedy. Apparently, since a few others had that same time open as me, I should not have been even considered. Hmmm... that sounds like there is an impression that I don't actually go into work every week to make a paycheck, but to just hang out and watch everyone else work. Now, I do not expect to get every new client nor every client that is willing to go to just anyone, but it appears that there are others that have made that their God given right to have the expectations that they are entitled to have it all and nobody else and be quite vocal about it. I just fear that expressing any feelings towards this rumor, allows me to fall victim of twisted words that were passed on through a few avenues because the person that basically was upset that I somehow became really busy for a few hours when they were not could be construed as something far worse than it really was. Sadly, there is nothing I can do about it since I heard about it after the fact and I believe that if it was a real issue, I would have been confronted with this directly from the person who had the issue. I could be wrong. Maybe this person decided that their thought process was justified and that their actions, as hurtful as they were, is considered acceptable behavior if the tables were turned and found out that they were being called greedy behind their back since it is so easy to label me that.
I don't know why most issues stem from those four things... Perception, impression, expectation, and twisting words. Basically, it is just passing judgment before all angles of a situation or person we have been seen/met. Yep, no matter how much we all deny it, we are judgmental creatures. You can tell when it comes to what we choose in life... We seek what we desire from what is on the surface; choosing of a person as a friend or foe or even a potential mate. We size up people we come in contact with and decide if we are to be a subordinate to, an equal of, or be the dominate. It is something you see in the wild, but you do see it in our day-to-day existence if you pay attention to it. Maybe people tend to be oblivious to this and really do not put much effort in thinking things through to the point that if it was to happen to you, would you be accepting of it? Think of it this way.... Getting slapped hurts more than giving the slap.... Food for thought.
Hmmm... Where to begin.... Okay... here goes....
Now, I understand that everyone is different. Our thought process, our decisions, our feelings and our level of understanding is different. We react differently when it comes to what we observe and experience. I just wonder if people actually take the time to think about another's perspective of things. You know... actually think if their actions, or better yet, reactions are considered justified at all angles.
Here is the shortest version I can think of...
If a person that remains relatively reasonable when ignored or passed up for potential growth at their job gets an opportunity to actually have some work sent their way in a place filled with other people fighting to get more work gets a stab in the back... Is it right to be a bit set off about it all? Rumors are just that... rumors, but there seems to be a bit of a perception issue. This rumor labeled a person as greedy. Yep, I was called greedy for taking an appointment at work at a time when I had nothing on my book and ended up having 3 additional clients show up with no appointment that asked for me in addition to taking an appointment. I was told by the receptionist that I could take that client since I had the least amount of work in my book, but later heard that since I took the appointment and booked it myself, I am greedy. Apparently, since a few others had that same time open as me, I should not have been even considered. Hmmm... that sounds like there is an impression that I don't actually go into work every week to make a paycheck, but to just hang out and watch everyone else work. Now, I do not expect to get every new client nor every client that is willing to go to just anyone, but it appears that there are others that have made that their God given right to have the expectations that they are entitled to have it all and nobody else and be quite vocal about it. I just fear that expressing any feelings towards this rumor, allows me to fall victim of twisted words that were passed on through a few avenues because the person that basically was upset that I somehow became really busy for a few hours when they were not could be construed as something far worse than it really was. Sadly, there is nothing I can do about it since I heard about it after the fact and I believe that if it was a real issue, I would have been confronted with this directly from the person who had the issue. I could be wrong. Maybe this person decided that their thought process was justified and that their actions, as hurtful as they were, is considered acceptable behavior if the tables were turned and found out that they were being called greedy behind their back since it is so easy to label me that.
I don't know why most issues stem from those four things... Perception, impression, expectation, and twisting words. Basically, it is just passing judgment before all angles of a situation or person we have been seen/met. Yep, no matter how much we all deny it, we are judgmental creatures. You can tell when it comes to what we choose in life... We seek what we desire from what is on the surface; choosing of a person as a friend or foe or even a potential mate. We size up people we come in contact with and decide if we are to be a subordinate to, an equal of, or be the dominate. It is something you see in the wild, but you do see it in our day-to-day existence if you pay attention to it. Maybe people tend to be oblivious to this and really do not put much effort in thinking things through to the point that if it was to happen to you, would you be accepting of it? Think of it this way.... Getting slapped hurts more than giving the slap.... Food for thought.
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