Crickets...

Spring is upon us...  The wacky temperature shifts has begun.  Just a week ago from today, we had temperatures in the low to mid 80's with humidity, to boot.  In the course of a week, we went from those very warm and balmy 80 degrees to a frigid 30 with rain and snow.  Living in the Midwest, really gives you a taste of everything before it finally settles down into the season.  As I have gotten older, my tolerance of this is a little higher, but there is always going to be a part of me that wishes there was a smoother transition between them.  Is the harsh fluctuations a sign of global warming?  Doubtful, but I do wonder at times.

I just find the change in seasons an interesting thing.  Spring is the renewal of what was once resting under the blanket of snow.  The trees start to wake up and the leaves start pushing forth; the grass that was left dormant starts to come back to life with the color of green; springing up from the once frozen ground are tulips to add just a little more color to the scene.  Summer is full of color, loaded with warmth and sunshine; the layers of clothes become less; the pale skin that has been lacking sunshine begins to get some color; windows are open, fresh air flows through the window screens; BBQ grills being fired up to give the kitchen appliances a rest.  Autumn begins the preparation of nature's slumber; leaves once green change colors and fall gently towards the ground; the once lush green grass changes color as it prepares for a winter's slumber; the colorful flowers of the landscapes change from bright and cool colors of pansies into the rustic and warm colors of mums.  Winter brings us the blanket to cover all of the sleeping landscape that once had colors of the rainbow; cold temperatures keep families snuggled in blankets and fires rage in the fireplace.

One thing I think about are the crickets.  As annoying as they are with their "song" filling the silence, I see them as a reminder that no matter how alone you might feel, they are there.  I am not sure if people remember watching Saturday morning cartoons, I have no doubt that you do.  Remember how when there is a moment of complete silence and being alone, the sound of crickets would fill the dim?  I felt that crickets got a bum rap when it came to being alone.

I guess my long rambling to this point is about how I have been feeling lately.  I have not been as much of a social butterfly on the ever so famous social site called Facebook.  I guess it is because I really have nothing witty and funny to share.  It might be because I am not really a popular person being sought out.  I was never the type of person that demanded constant attention, but this darn site with the constant updates on the "news feed wall" of everyone jumping in with sarcasm and witty things to say, even a few manage to share things about what they believe in, others share every thought or feeling, and there are the ones that post music videos of the music they want to hear and share.  Friends are usually willing to say something to everything when the desire arrives, but there are times that they choose to say nothing.  I seem to have cornered the market on saying something and hearing nothing in return.  This should not bother me so much, but lately, I feel it is.  It is my moment of sharing the cricket experience with everyone.

Maybe my blogging is pushing people away from connecting with me.  I could be sharing too much and leaving no room for people to comment.  Maybe I lack humor or a "wow" factor in my writing.  I have been told to my face conflicting things that range from being completely clueless and a confusing writer to a talented person that they enjoy what I share.  Views and perspectives are just that.  They will vary greatly.  Some say I share too much to not sharing enough.  I might have a catchy title, but fall short when it comes to what I am saying.  I have even been told that people might see me as a needy and insecure or as a joke.  I guess all I am trying to do is share thoughts and feelings, maybe even some hopes and dreams, but I see my blogging as a way to communicate with people and to get them to open up too.  I have my days of feeling like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar, flitting around, trying to break free and share the beauty of life, the feeling of hope, the understanding of another, and the freedom to expression.  I wonder why my deep thought scares people into silence, I guess I will never know, but I will remember that every time there is silence around me, I am never alone because I have the crickets to fill the dim.