Why?

Okay, I know that this blog had a one-word title, but I am honestly baffled on this topic....

Why can a person take a joke seriously, but take something serious as a joke?  Or better yet... HOW can a person be capable of switching a sentiment of joking to serious and serious to joking?  It just does not make sense to me!!!

The reason for sharing this baffling thought is brought to all of you from a recent situation that affects two out of three people in my house....

Just this past weekend, DH's parents came by for a visit.  Of course, it is on the one day of the weekend that I am away from home and at work.  I have come to the conclusion that they just have no interest in my existence and avoiding me is one of their rare talents.  I really do not mind all that much because when I do see them at holiday family gatherings... they just ignore me and that is a second form of avoidance when you are put face to face with a person that they don't want to deal with.  I never did anything to warrant this... I am a really nice person...  I am fun to be around (or so I have been told)....  Heck, I am more helpful than their own children and I am willing to help without being asked to do so.  Never really made that much sense to me other than the thought that they believe I am less than worthy because I am not related by blood and only a part of their family through marriage.  Pretty lousy excuse, but it definitely points to that conclusion.

Well, on their visit while I am not home....  They decided to give DH a little "gift" for mowing their lawn, putting in a second guard rail for the basement steps and for fixing their car upon demand.  Yep, DH is a hard-working and giving soul, but not at his own home.  That, my friends, is why I do so much around here.  Of course, DH's parents are fully aware of DH's cholesterol issues and his heart issues, but still feel that it is okay to give him roughly 4 pounds of various sausages from a butcher place that they like.  Totally fat laden and a screaming example of how cholesterol goes even more higher.  They know that I do everything in my power to avoid all that processed stuff and the only sausage we consume here is the low-fat chicken or turkey variety (in small and random amounts).  That is how I have managed to get his cholesterol down after his fishing trip.  How do I know that my efforts were successful?  DH had his semi-annual blood panel done after his annual fishing trip to show that his poor eating choices for 5 days spiked his cholesterol over 50 points, and had to have his test redone two weeks later after I fed him the better options and see that number drop the same 50 points.  While his cholesterol is still considered on the high end... it is quite possibly manageable through diet and exercise if I was given a full chance to change his eating habits.  With him being a picky eater that prefers to eat foods that can potentially be dangerous to his cholesterol issues and have zero control over controlling what a portion size with these foods... I have a serious uphill battle ahead of me.

With that being mentioned.....  DD and I have been quite diligent in watching out for DH's health.  I am the watchdog that chooses heart-healthier options to his favorite foods as well as the meals he is willing to at least eat.  DD is the vocal opinion that rings in his ears about portion control and to eat his vegetables.  Recently, DD voiced her opinion about the recent gift of sausage that he got from his parents and all he did was laugh it off and egg her on to a more frazzled state.  Not once taking her concerns seriously.  I even pointed out that her nagging at him about his health is because she cares and wants him to have a long and healthy life.  All he did was give me a blank stare and said nothing about acknowledging about it.  Heck, he did not even thank her for her concerns.  He just said that he will eat that sausage and be happy about it... to heck with the dangers to his health.

Then, a couple of days later....  I teased DH about something that was so insignificant that it was painfully obvious that I was joking around, but he took me so seriously that he got defensive.  I actually had to apologize for my little ribbing over really nothing just to end the argument that was brewing.  I mean....  just joking about his inability to put his dirty socks in the hamper warranted hurt feelings, but seriously talking about his health had him brushing it off like water off a duck's back.  Really, does that make sense?

I really want to ask him if he was dropped on his head as a child because his priorities are definitely out of whack.  His reactions are something out of a parallel universe and has both DD and I either scratching our heads in confusion or frustrated to the point of punching a wall.  Now, if his opposite reaction is a way of a coping mechanism... I would have to strongly suggest that he takes a long, hard look at how that is not really all that effective, but how does a person discuss this subject without getting yet again another round of insanely angry DH to deal with?  What I suggest usually goes in one ear and out the other.  He usually takes suggestion better from his friends and his parents, but how do I tell his parents that giving him sausages is a poor choice in a gift of thanks?  They are fully aware of the heart and cholesterol issues DH has... In fact, there is a whole family history of it that they are aware of and never shared with their children until it was too late.  More than half his siblings have either heart or cholesterol issues... or both.  DH's brother has a carbon copy of issues to him and his brother has landed himself in the hospital more than DH has just because he likes to eat the same garbage that DH likes and has nobody to keep a vigilant eye and determined act to try to eat healthier.  Since DH rarely ever cooks, it is up to me to make the right choices for him.  Gee, even his parents have issues with heart or cholesterol and still think it is okay to take a dunk in dangerous waters from time to time.  Do these people truly have a death wish?  I know we are all going to die someday, but why rush the process with poor choices.  That laugh off the serious stuff and take jokes seriously is definitely a wrong path to take.

I don't know... it could be a lack of interest beyond the usual with DH.  Yesterday was my birthday and he did his usual "go-to" gift of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a card.  I honestly have not had a peanut butter cup in over a year (I like the Reese's Sticks better), but he apparently never noticed.  I would have been happy with just the card since I am on a diet, but I guess he never noticed my increase in eating vegetables and using my kitchen scale to weigh out a portion of foods.  Am I really that invisible?  Am I really that much of a burden that everything that comes out of my mouth that resembles a joke needs to be taken seriously and warrants an argument?  Does every time I point out a fact that makes me right in an argument require the silent treatment and no apology or acknowledgement that I am right?  Does every suggestion I have need to be labeled as the most stupid idea ever created, but have a friend suggest the same thing and it becomes the greatest idea since sliced bread or the invention of the wheel?  Really, what did I do to deserve this?  I apologize when I am wrong, I'll admit to be being wrong when I am shown that I am.  I am open-minded and look at other points of view before making a decision.  I pay attention to details... or I at least try to.  I am a reasonable person.  I am quite giving and willing to forgive easily.  I just have no clue what got me to earn this polar opposite treatment all the time.  Laughing it off or freezing me out sounds pretty polar to me.

All I know is that while I scratch my head in wonder, I have to accept this quirk as this is how things are.  Definitely no sign of change on the horizon.  I can predict how this conversation would go with DH and I if I questioned the parallel universe of reactions coming from him....  I will get denial at first and then the silent treatment for three days.  After that expires... things just go back to the way that they have been and no resolution found.  If I push for a solution or answers...  the topic changes and it is pick out Nancy's flaws until he feels better, then the silent treatment will go for another three days until I can look at him without wanting to cry or punch him in the face and then things return back with yet again no resolution, solution, or understanding.  There is only one thing I can do is point it out in a way at how it is affecting DD and I and let it drop.  Leaving it up to him to figure it out and do something about it.  Odds are... he won't, but at least I speak my peace and move forward.  I guess it has to be this way, but if I ever got the opportunity to talk to DH's doctors...  I would not hold anything back.  Someone needs to hold him and them accountable because I am not taking the blame for this one if things get worse around here.