Good morning! Just a quick blog before I start getting ready for the weekly grocery shopping excursion.
Last night, I managed to stay up quite late with a book that I was really struggling to finish. Yes, I am one of those people that finish reading every book that crosses my path. Even the really bad ones get a chance for redemption. This last book was called, The Pact, and it sounded promising in the book description. Heck, the reviews seemed promising. So I put in my 99 cents and got a copy for my Kindle. Sadly, once I got to the first chapter, I knew I was going to struggle. Each chapter was in one character's point of view. I am not really a big fan of this writing style because when it is done this way.... there is a lot of repetition. Then, of course, this book also lacked much in character development and focused way too much on dirty talk. I am far from being a prude, but there are just some things that will turn me completely off, and this book hit the bulls-eye with flipping my interest switch. Simply put.... These characters had nothing but multitudes of romps in the sheets. Some call it erotica, but I saw this more as the Kama Sutra described poorly, but I digress. Maybe I just lack the imagination this writer had... and the endurance (ha ha ha).
Well, while I was trying to digest a poor choice in reading materials I got for 99 cents, I had the TV on in the background for something to have my eyes take a break from time to time from reading so darn much. By the time the infomercials came on, I started to watch and wonder about my not-so-new New Years Resolution of losing a few pounds. Okay... A lot of pounds, but you get my point, right? A woman never sees herself thin enough, young enough, or pretty enough... I get it. Heck, I got it! I am just a typical woman continually in fear of the bathroom scale and the mirror. I know I will never get truly back to my teenage weight because (a) I am no longer a teenager, and (b) after having my daughter... I am not built the same to be my teenage weight. I just would like to be back in jeans that don't make me look like a cracked can of biscuit dough. Sure, I can go a larger size, but with that larger size.... my internal loathing scale rises, too. So, for now.... I am a fan of yoga pants and I have not done yoga in months (2 to be exact).
Well, with these infomercials about this diet or that workout DVD set, a new at-home torture devise, or a diet supplement.... I wondered where all these ideas come from. With all those commercials about Weight Watchers (which remind me of food-hating Nazis claiming that you can still eat what you love and still lose weight), Nutrisystem (the freeze-dried variety of a "balanced diet"), or Jenny Craig (yes, they still exist with those pre-packaged meal plans) with mentions of another "let us think for you" diet from a company called Seattle Sutton's.... Everyone has a plan that supposedly works. I am sure it can... that is, if you can afford to lighten your bank account more than your caloric intake. Oh, and don't get me started with the great debate to what foods people should be eating. The cooking show, Hungry Girl, pushes a lifestyle that sounds more chemical based than natural with all that fat free stuff. Which, by the way, reminds me of that wacky blonde Susan Powter (I think that is her last name) with her "STOP THE INSANITY!" by-line of avoiding fats like the plague back in the 90's. Diet pills and supplements being the new "wonder drug" to the obesity issue plaguing this world is yet seen as another crutch that people turn to because while the mind is somewhat willing... the taste buds are not able to offer restraint. Arguments over juicing over eating the actual fruit and vegetables, eating butter vs margarine, olive oil vs canola oil, white bread vs wheat bread, to consume gluten or not to consume gluten, eat more to weigh less or eat less and move more... these are the questions everyone has these days. What is the "in" thing today will be the "out" thing tomorrow... or next week or next month. Science and math fighting over what is best, but not winning any argument. Sadly, we all have become tired, both mentally and physically, from counting calories going in and being used, but there is not one exact result that remains true to every individualized body alive. Is it our thyroid to blame? Is it our metabolism? Is it genetics? Our blood type? Our habits? Or just a severe case of bad luck that these new and/or improved diets, supplements, or exercise regimes just don't work?
I have no answers since everything I looked into, tried, or considered trying is argued to the nth degree. Fat free condiments equal more chemicals and less nutritional value, what is considered natural is being treated with chemicals to produce more, organic is beyond cost effective, but what are the true parameters that state it is truly organic and that those guidelines are are being upheld. Is that gluten free bread really, truly, 100% gluten free? Or is it the state of mind that makes it free of glutens. And to be totally honest.... What in the hell is a gluten and why are people now so allergic to it when they weren't before? I guess I need to look that one up, but sadly, everything I look up has so many opinions about it.... there is less faith in what is fact and what is fiction. Kind of like an article I read about organic produce. While organic is expensive, it is not necessarily prudent to be organic with everything. Especially, if you don't eat the skin. Really, who is to say that pesticides and ripening agents only affect the skin and not what lies beneath it? Is there actual fact? Or is this yet another lobbyists ploy to knock down our defenses. Heck, I was not there when it was "produced", so to speak, but I am not exactly allowed to dictate how it is made, either.
I grew up drinking milk from a cow. Not directly from the cow, but the cow supplied the milk in that carton in my fridge. Not from an almond, a goat, or a coconut, or even a soybean, but I am not totally against spreading out my wings, but how does one cook with it? My daughter is lactose indifferent (not exactly intolerant), but her choices that rarely upset her are cheese, yogurt, and if it is used in baking/cooking. Probably has something to do with the process used, but I am not all that sold on substitutes for that I have become accustomed to. I know that there are organic brands out there, but is there really people following the regulations to the letter if their livelihoods depend on production for the masses? What seems even more disturbing is the need to supplement our bodies with vitamins to acquire to parameters set before us in nutrient requirements and that is even done with chemicals. Then, of course, there is the interest in the caloric count, fat count, and whatnot that makes people doubt themselves if they made the right choice in the first place.
As my rant could go on and on about the nitpicked, loved and hated of foods gone by... I need to mention another thing bouncing in my head.... It is the dreaded word called... Exercise. I am not exactly sure of the purpose, other than to burn calories (yep, again circling back to the whole diet fiasco), but I have to put this out there. Who thinks it is an ideal number of requiring 10,000 steps to be done on a daily basis, in addition to the already active lifestyle of any person too busy to stop and smell the roses? Where is it necessary to lift weight to put it back down just to lift it again? What are we really achieving here? Are we flexing our muscles in the knowledge that we can push, lift, or pull something heavy a bunch of times? Sure, muscle integrity is necessary for remain upright (our bones can only do so much), and muscles also create endurance, but is my only choice for exercise always going to be in a germ-infested, sweat box of insecurity? Especially when I am doing my best to get to a healthy state that I get exposed to some of the most disgusting people on the planet? AND pay for the experience? Maybe I am missing something here, but hauling my flabby backside in a place where people do more preening and judgment of others is not all that appealing to me. Even with a workout buddy, I just cannot stomach to egotism that flows through those useless air vents. Especially, when I do go, I see two categories of people that hit that place.... The gym-rats that think they know what they are doing (and doing it wrong), and the socialites (the ones preening in front of the mirrors, chatting with friends, and are only there to say that they went). Sure, there are a few people that actually know what they are doing and actually work out without judging others in their presence, but even those people become frustrating to a person re-starting for the millionth time. Learned my lesson last year, this time of year is when all the determination in the world goes to the gym to work off their holiday weight gain with hopes of attaining their resolutions to lose weight, only to quit trying in about a month of going. Most likely because they feel the same as I do about the gym.... It is far easier to find something more interesting than battling for the only available treadmill or circuit training machine with hopes of getting out of the place in less than an hour, of which we struggle to have in our busy lifestyle.
I have to say this one thing before I go.... Being a grownup sucks! I wish I was a kid again! I grew up on those no-no foods and now I have to now love the stuff I used to hide under my napkin. I used to love being active because it involved my friends and now... I am pushing myself to be active with a bunch of strangers for the sole purpose to feel good in my own skin again. I have to find love in doing stuff I would rather get a root canal than do them. Like go to a gym that disgusts me and be surrounded with judgmental gym-rats or space-hogging socialites filled with sweat, germs and despair. What is even more frustrating is with all this information I have amassed over the years.... I cannot, for the life of me, figure what is up from down, right from wrong, or left from "my other left" in this journey to actually be truly successful and have it stick with me.
Well, it is time to get the grocery list made. Dinner plans get discussed with a teenager that is starting to hate the stuff my husband loves. And who wouldn't? He has been in a food jag of epic proportions for years and can put a 2-year old to shame. Sigh.... Hopefully, I can find a happy middle ground this week and be able to get in those foods I am supposed to love that taste bland, boring and acceptable across more than one diet plan's list of acceptable foods. As the saying goes in every Weight Watcher's meeting I have ever attended..... "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".... Yea, RIGHT! They apparently never tasted real food before that was not nitpicked within an inch of existence to be deemed a points worthy food. Have a good one!
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