Interesting thing about how people are different.....

First things first....  Being Christmas and all.....  I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.  May all your holiday wishes come true!!

Well, on to my topic for today...

Lets ponder for a bit.  What do you think when you hear the following statement.....  Actions speak louder than words.  The statement is pretty self-explanatory to me.  A person's actions speak volumes.  It could tell a person what they want or desire, it can tell a person that they care about you, it can tell you a lot about that person.  What we do and how we react to it is what makes every person different.

Now, what do you think when someone does nothing?  Lets elaborate...  When a person says one thing and does nothing.  Here is where I had an "ah ha" moment.  Just a couple of days ago, there was a gathering at a local bar.  Some people that attended were people that I have not seen in years.  I figured that it would be nice to go and see everyone.  I have been suffering cabin fever, so getting out was a welcome thing.  Sadly, it was a weeknight.  My husband is most likely going to be working late again.  Sometimes, it is actually work, other times it is beers and buddies.  I knew that since it was the night before Christmas Eve, it was going to be a beer and buddies thing, I figured I would call my husband at work and ask if I could go out after he gets home.  I think it is a courtesy to ask for permission even though I know he has no problem with me going out once in a while.  Crossing my fingers in hopes that I am not actually interrupting work, but fun time (I learned about my amazing talent to call at the worst possible time), I ask.  I even asked if there was a time that he was planning on getting home, so I could be ready to go out once he walks in the door.  He tells me that he is just about ready to leave and should be home in 10 minutes.  He even said that it was a good idea to get out and have some fun.  I was thrilled.

I waited and waited for him to get home.  The 10 minutes already came and went... not home.  An hour passes... not home.  Two hours pass.... not home.  I am getting more and more frustrated.  Not home, no call... nothing.  My mind starts to wander and I wonder if a person says that they are going to be home at a certain time and does not show up or even call is their way of saying the complete opposite of what was said. He told me that is was okay to go out.  He said he would be home in 10 minutes.  Hmmm.....  I guess his disregard of time tells me that he really does not want me to go out.  The lack of a phone call is his way of avoiding to tell me of his decision.  Then I start to worry....  Did he get in an accident?  Not home and no call could mean something terrible, so I call his cell phone.  He answers.  He is fine.  He just got tied up in a conversation with a person and had a couple more beers.  He never even looked at his watch to see that he was supposed to be home over 2 hours ago.  WTF!  I am furious!

In a stage of complete frustration and rage, I sputter out this statement and it became my "ah ha" moment.....

"Well, I am glad that you are just fine and dandy, but I figured that when a person says that they are going to do something and be home in a certain time frame, they would do as they say.  I am getting the very strong impression that you really do not want to let me go out and see friends.  Instead of telling me 'no' when I asked, you decided to tell me otherwise by your actions, or in this case, no actions."  He tells me that I am completely wrong and I am reading way into things.  That it was an honest mistake and that he really wants to let me out for the night and he will definitely be home in 10 minutes to watch our daughter so I can go.  Needless to say... it took him 20 minutes to get home after we hung up the phone.

There it was... My "ah ha" moment!!  I can see the light and it is beautiful!!  The clouds have parted and I can hear the angels sing.

I am one stubborn person!  Not stubborn in refusing to move from one spot, but stubborn in thinking.  I have a certain level of expectation and if it is not met, I get bent.  I want to know and understand, but I refuse to ask questions.  I internalize way too much and come to my own conclusions.  Sometimes I am right, but most of the time, I am wrong.

The book 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' is completely wrong when it comes to me.  I am not a 'girly-girl' and I am not a 'dude', but a mixture of it.  I am a tomboy.  I have always been and I always will be.  I like trucks, sports, and my choice of clothes are Jeans and t-shirts, but I prefer to wear makeup and do my hair before going out.  I am not afraid to ask for directions, but I prefer to figure it out by myself.  I am a good listener, but there are times I go directly to 'fix-it' mode.  I would rather punch than slap.  I am soft, but I am tough.  When it comes to my choice of drink in the bar...  it is a beer in the bottle.  I am a mutt, a mix of it all.  I guess that is why I can relate to so many people.  I am a mother and wife.  I am a daughter and a friend.  I am one heck of a journey to get to know, but a worthwhile one :)