Trying something new....

Hi.  Please bear with me as I am new to the whole blogging scene.  My name is Nancy and I have had a load of thoughts trapped in my mind and maybe, just maybe, blogging will help me have a kind of emotional release that I so desperately need, I think....

Well, lets start with the obvious.  A good friend suggested that blogging is the best release of pent up emotion and thought around.  I, honestly thought a diary was the best way to release emotion and thought.  Who knows, I might be wrong.  So here I am...  The rookie blogger :)

The road that led me to blogging started with a plea for help.  For the past few days I have been on a ride like no other...  the emotional roller coaster of sorts.  I am confused about what started this ride, but maybe, just maybe I can create a solution through this experience.  I seem to be on a quest for answers in emotions.  I know that I am a well adjusted person, I live in a modest home, married to a wonderful husband and I have a lovely daughter.  Our current economy has put myself (as well as vast others in the world) in a money crunch.  Money cannot buy happiness, but it is way easier to cry in the comfort of your own home in comparison to a cardboard box.  This little 5-letter word is the main cause for another little 6-letter word... STRESS.  Stress is  an interesting thing....  It can bring adrenaline in a person to push harder, go longer, feel life in their veins, but it can also create other issues that cannot be denied...  The feeling of loss.  I wonder if this past year of economic strife has created a new ailment.... depression.  I know that there was an era called the great depression where people struggled to eat and survive.  My parents experienced that and I was told it was not fun at all.  Why would they call it 'great' if it was so awful?  Well, that is for another time to really look into that.

Well, onward about depression....  I think I may be struggling with that ailment.  Just recently, I would start crying for no apparent reason.  I tried to blame it on those really sentimental Kleenex commercials, but I have not seen one of those in quite a while.  I have no clue what the trigger is except that it just happens.  Then another emotion comes along...  Frustration.  Apparently, not knowing why I was crying frustrates me.  WOW....  That is a totally normal response to something I cannot understand, just yet.

I decided to ask if stress could cause depression because I think that is what I am dealing with.  Maybe add a little 'winter blues' with those shorter days.  Who knows, this might be a normal winter epidemic.  Well, as I posted this question on Facebook for all my friends to see and comment on, I got some real interesting reasons... "Oh, welcome to the holidays", "It is just a funk.  Go do something for yourself", "Welcome to Menopause" (Really?  I am not that old, ya know), "Go to the doctor and have your hormone and thyroid levels checked", "Start Blogging... you need a release", "You need to blow off some steam... maybe go to the bar?"....  These are just a few of the comments I got about my issue.  Now, I know I will be getting a phone call from family members that felt compelled to tell me in person what they think...  Oh joy!  I guess what I really wanted to know is that I am not alone.  That there are others suffering like I am on this nasty emotional ride.  Apparently, I am the only one.  How sad...

One of the suggestions was to start blogging and I was intrigued.  Really?  Blogging?  I am quite a reserved person and after numerous attempts to try to share my feelings on Facebook with odd or no results, am I really a blogger?  Maybe I am.  I have ideas, I have random thoughts, I am up for adventure (sort of), and I do have a load of pent up things I would love to share, but is it really for me?  I figured, 'what the heck, you only live once... why not try something you have never done before...blog.

So this is my first blog.  Not a bad start, I think.  I have to admit, this is not so bad.

As I look back on what I 'blogged' I noticed that maybe what I am going through is an internal search for the truth about myself and that I may be super sensitive over really nothing serious.  It is just sad that internalizing every thought can be so taxing on a person.  Blogging may just be the release I am looking for.  Maybe tomorrow I will blog again.  Only time will tell.  Trying something new opens a new journey to take.