Reflections...

Today was a day of reflection.  Looking back at the past year to remember all that has happened and to learn from the experiences I have had.  Some experiences were good and some were not so good, but there was a lesson in there.

I had always believed that the experiences we have, shape us into who we are.  The people we know, the places we go, the things we do are all fibers in the tapestry of who we are.  All things, good or bad, teach us more about who we are because we all react differently.  What one person thinks as being honest and open, is seen as something completely different to another.  It can be seen as a complaint, a concern, or even a joke.  Usually, when it comes to me and what I share, it sounds more like a complaint.  Even though I had zero intentions of making it sound like a complaint.

I guess this is where my journey needs to begin.

What is really worthy of a second thought and what is really worthy to share?  I think I figured it out, but I needed to be sure.  I was just playing around on Facebook with one of it's applications.  It contained a selection of statuses that I shared over the past year.  Some were funny, some were just sad, and some were really not worth sharing at all.  Really... Who cares if my back has spasmed more times than I care to count?  Who really wants to know that the temp job I had really was boring, tiring and trying on my nerves?  Who really thinks my recollections of funny things are just as funny retelling them as they were as when it happened?  Please keep in mind I already know that I have zero talent in really telling a story in a status of less than 200 characters.  Apparently, Cliff's Notes are more effective than my half-thought out sputterings I put out when the urge arises.  Even when I really think it all out, it still misses the mark.

Maybe I just can't seem to connect to the same wavelength as others when I write or post a thought.  I know if I talk to a person, it is a whole different thing.  I am able to connect to people.  I am understood and darn it, I am actually interesting.  There are times I may seem like a "ball breaker"; a person who stands up when others just accept, but most of the time, I am just a compassionate person who is a real good listener.  I even have a sense of humor (sadly, it is when I am at my most sarcastic).  I am sensitive, but I am tough.  I guess you can call that unpredictable, but I call it random.

I am thankful that I have really good friends and a caring family.  Their honesty is appreciated.  I have learned quite a few things from them.  Sadly, it has taken me way too long to embrace the lesson learned.  They can bring out the best in me even when I am at my worst.  They have embraced who I am and accept my faults and believe me, I have plenty of them.  I am far from perfect, but that is who I am.  I am a work in progress.

Thanks for reading :)