I have come to the conclusion that I seriously lack the necessary writing ability to work my way out of a wet paper bag with a huge hole in it. Either that, or I have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon; too sensitive for my own good. A book that I recently read encompassed just about every emotion that I have contained in me. I laughed, I reflected and I cried so hard that the view from behind my glasses appeared to look like I was reading under water. Either this author truly experienced fear and disappointment like I have or she knew what words to string together to bring on to make it crystal clear. She had no fear in sharing the result of change so beautifully that I am still trying to get over my emotional reaction to it. Really, I am blown away that this fiction writer could make her story so believable in my eyes. Knowing that it is fiction, I can only hope that there is a ring of truth to it and that it is possible to happen in real life.... my life.
Believe me, it is far easier to show infliction through acting and the use of the voice, but it is a rare gem to feel emotion from reading the written word. Unless, personal experience was the catalyst. Yes, we have heard stories of feeling inadequate and stories of experiencing an emotion that felt alien at first to later learn what that feeling truly is. Yes, we all have our own defense mechanisms that are personally tailored to our individuality that we believe protects us from emotional pain. I even truly believe that we all have the sensitivity to see pain in another's eyes and even manage to muster the courage to do something about it. People are wired to understand emotion, to feel it, and to care for one another. While there is still negative emotion out there (hate, distrust, anger, sadness/depression, frustration, and failure/loss), there is also the ability to not just acknowledge the emotion, but we have the means to do something about it. It is the choices we make to decide what we want to do about it. We can do something or we can do nothing, but the decision is based upon what we feel is best for the situation.
What makes it hard to achieve the goal to improve something is when there is resistance to the attempts being made. People are naturally reactive to fear. Fear of the unknown result of the actions. As people ponder the notion if their actions are going to be received openly, fear has the ability to strangle the courage to actually try and accept the consequences returned to them. Falling in love has no guarantees that what you give freely will be returned just as freely. Rejection of feelings is the hardest obstacle to overcome, thus making it the elusive task that people fear to truly embrace. Usually, once there is love between two people, it should be easily maintained, but alas, it takes even more work to keep it alive. Love alone is not enough for people. It takes trust and understanding of needs.... it demands respect and acceptance. Love is a general term because love encompasses so many things. It encompasses people, places and things. The depth of compassion varies. I love my family and my friends, but it is not a guarantee that I am loved the same way in return. Yes, these people happen to care and they matter to me deeply, but it is not the fulfilling level of love that one person seeks to truly feel what honest, carnal love is capable of offering. Call it a soul mate, a kindred and cosmic connection, but it is that kind of love that everyone strives for. That one true love that fills us with feelings that are hard to describe. That kind of love that encompasses all the positive feelings that we strive to have in our lives. That feeling of being free from fear that strangles us to truly embrace the happiness within. To know that regardless what life throws at us, there is someone that stands behind us to catch us if we are to fall, to stand beside us so we never feel alone, and to stand in front of us to protect us from the slings and arrows that life will always threaten us. Pretty tall order, but so easy to do as long as the actions and feeling are returned at the same caliber.
I have never asked for someone to carry me through life. There is a carnal necessity to be self-sufficient, independent and strong. I am required to love myself in order to know how to love someone else. My happiness is in my grasp and as long as I seek it, I will find it. Failure is success being put to the test. As long as I keep trying, I truly never have failed. It saddens me that there are people that refuse to think beyond their own needs. It is those that have emotional greed and the inability to give in return that makes life difficult. Where do they get off thinking that the feelings of others holds no validity? It is truly the need to feast upon the goodwill of others a good thing? I think not! The most humbling thing to experience is seeing the efforts of another to right a wrong that they have created.... to take a bad situation and make it better.
I just need to give kudos to this author and all authors out there that can bring on emotion through their writing. If I had a smidgen of your talent.... the sky is the limit. Thank you for being able to tap into emotions that offer deep feeling as well as teach us.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!!
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