Good morning!! As I wake all refreshed from a reading marathon, life shall return to normal... Back to the mundane life of the suburban housewife and mother.... Laundry and housework are on the menu for the day. My Kindle had a workout and needs a rest. Me, on the other hand, needs to ramp up doing all those things I should have been doing over the past 4 days or so.
I will admit something here and now.... Rarely do I ever get that wrapped into a trilogy of books, and especially in the genre of romance novels. I usually gravitate towards suspense thrillers, mysteries, or sci-fi novels. I do recall going through a Harry Potter phase and read all 7 books in succession over the course of a month or so, but never cranking out a book in a day or two. What baffles me is how wrapped up I got in the Shades of Grey books. While these books tend to be a bit too graphic for my comfort zone (especially in the first book), I did succumb to being less "schoolgirl giddy" and uncomfortable reading as time went on. There was a story there... a perspective offered... curiosity was peaked. While I felt that there was way too many emotional flips and way more intimacy being the solution, I knew that in reality (or at least in mine), this would never happen on my dizziest of days. While the character, Christian Grey, was intriguing... Ana Steele seemed a little too rambunctious and enjoyed something a little too much (if you catch my drift). Sorry folks, but in the eyes of a regular girl like myself, I just could not fathom her first time being that intense, nor enjoyable. No matter how skilled the guy is or how in love you may be. First times are awkward and uncomfortable. Also, her determination to keep ticking off the man she claims to love, while having a clue of his control freakish ways is not going to be smoothed over with humor... No matter how infatuated the guy may be. As every relationship has its ups and downs, this one was quite a whirlwind that baffles me. Heck, it took 4 months before DH even considered proposing to me (not 3 weeks). While my track record of getting engaged (yes, I have been engaged a few times before "taking the plunge"), it usually took 8 months to a year of dating someone. I know, I know.... this is a book... a fantasy and not reality.
While reading does take you places that spark the imagination, there seems to be a pattern of what we choose to read and how attached we become to the genre. As I said before.... I gravitate towards fiction. Something that sparks thought, thrill, suspense... Never something that revolves around love, infatuation, desire, and sex. As I shared the story line of these books to my mom (yes, I know I offered the spoiler to her since I know that these books would cloud the premise of something more than raunchy sex to her and if she was to even try to read one, she would set the thing on fire, call upon a priest and demand that I go to confession for reading something so "filthy"...LOL). As I explained away the sex-driven material and focused on the story woven within, I asked my mom why I was drawn to this type of writing, that I was determined to finish the trilogy and move forward. Her answer was simple, and to the point.... It is because what we choose to read lacks in our own reality.
As I pondered the answer, I realized that she is right. I read to escape. What I read offers imagination, intrigue, and feelings that I seem to be missing. While I have no qualms about married life... it is not all that I hoped it would be. The thrill, the excitement, the mystery, the suspense... and the love or the feeling of desire diminishes. Now, I know that I am loved (if I was not, I would be handed divorce papers), but the intensity that these romance novels possess is something that every person seeks. Well, not as intense, but we do seek to feel fulfilled, to be desired, to be looked upon with emotion. I just never placed that high of regard to those feelings when I was younger or I never really thought all that much about it. Now, as I get older... I look at my life and my inner needs and frown at what I believed grew with time (love, passion, desire), really does not. It levels off and stops growing. Life takes its hold and there is so much more than feelings. As harsh as it may sound.... people start to change. Their needs change. Their drive is focused somewhere else, and not always in the same direction. I should know... Reading about passion and realizing that there is a higher need for that stuff I call "sappy" in my life sure hurts when the reality of it is that the person I share my life with does not see the same things. His focus is on other things. There is no hero, there is no damsel in distress, and there is very little passion. The heart becomes shielded/guarded, and there is restraint. Communication gets strained. Conformity takes its hold. Acceptance is all that there is left. Accepting that this is the best it will ever be, even though there is a need for more... a want for more.
Damn book! Got me thinking and got me wanting more when I know that my knight in shining armor has spent all his energy on something else and chooses to not see what I see. I think my next choice of reading material should be in the genre of humor. Feeling a bit melancholy today. Oh well, back to work and all the piles of stuff I need to do....
Thanks for letting me "floss" today, thanks for reading and have a great day. Time to pay the piper for my inability to multitask and keep the housework under control while I went into a reading frenzy.....
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Einstein theory....
Everyone figures things on the surface is what it is.... Just a few kind words can change all of that.
After Saturday's event at the salon, I noticed that my boss' car had a flat. With no able man to help, I called DH with determination to either get his help or change her tire myself. At first, he was reluctant, but came to his senses quite quickly and came over to help. Funny thing.... Well, not so funny. After DH appeared as my knight in shining armor, he wakes up Sunday to a flat tire on his truck. Definitely made him comment that his unselfish act had a price. Luckily, today is another nice day and he took his VW to work (full tires and all). Just another thing on his list to fix when he can. Yep, his "honey-do list" is getting longer and longer.
Yesterday, being Mother's Day, felt like any other ordinary day to me. Waking up after a long night of reading produced a small headache. While I become aware that eventually I will have to really make that eye doctor appointment and bite the bullet that I will need glasses for reading (the headache is a definite sign that I have to go really soon... well, that and the fact that I seem to require to hold my Kindle a little farther so the words don't get all fuzzy), I seem to be doing just fine. After making breakfast for the family (DH did the dishes), I grabbed my Kindle and continued reading book #2 of the shades of Grey series. As I giggle at the notion that this book, as edgy as it appears to me, is a romance novel and I usually never gravitate towards romantic stuff. Books like those give false hope in my eyes and sure as heck does not make my reality any more appealing. Apparently, being hooked into these books makes me less than ambitious to get anything done in what is lovingly called, "my world". I lack multitasking skills when I an drawn into a good read. Struggling to get the grocery list done, I turn off my Kindle to get the family rounded up for our Sunday ritual of togetherness while grocery shopping. With my head clogged up with what is going to happen next in my book, I appreciate that I have DD and DH to keep my head in check while we are in the grocery store.
After returning home and putting away the groceries (which seems to always be my job), I grab my Kindle again to enjoy a little reading before heading off to work again. I agreed to do the touch up for a coworker and Sunday was the only day we both had available. With the shop being closed for Mother's Day, and all, I borrowed the key from another coworker so this task can be done. Feeling uncomfortable having the salon key, I decided to wait in the parking lot for my coworker to arrive. Kindle in hand.... I read a little more. DARN! Perfect day of reading and it is interrupted by my generous nature. Oh well. My coworker arrives and we head inside together and get started.
The salon is quiet. Almost unnerving to me. I am used to the hustle and bustle of a busy salon. My coworker and I start talking. Just usual stuff. I get an update of my other coworker and her battle with cancer. She opted for the surgery. A lot was removed from her and there was a lot of rerouting stuff. She lost not only her gall bladder, she lost part of her stomach, her colon, and her liver, but according to the surgeons.... she is cancer free and will need a very long time to recover. Baffles the mind what was done, but I am glad that she is on the mend. Our event this past weekend raised roughly $800 towards her bills. It is not much, but it is more than nothing. Our conversation moved forward to how things have been. The dynamic of the salon has changed over the past year. People are coming and going, but there is still a fair number that has weathered the storm. While my boss frantically tries to change things for the better, she just can't make everyone happy. This is where the unexpected compliment comes in.... I was told by my coworker that people have been commenting that how the mood and the atmosphere lightens when I come in. I never realized that I can make a difference like that. Something as simple as a smile can create a chain reaction of ease among a group of people that feel stressed. Little do they know.... It takes a lot of effort on my part to separate home life from work. I strive to control every aspect of my life for the greater good of society. My random flossing keeps my head on straight, my constant thinking things over (over analyzing, if you must call it) is my way to see the awe that life has to offer. Good or bad, there is reaction to every action taken. Einstein had it right.... While there are forces that can pull an object towards something, there is opportunity to change the course and create a different result. We have the power to make a difference even when we feel we are not.
Right now, reading has been my undeniable force that has not exactly been challenged. While I can easily set aside a little time to read and still get all my usual stuff done, I feel the pull to read and let everything around me wait. Reading is an escape, but life continues to happen if you participate or not. It is just a matter of balance when we can achieve all that we set our minds to. So... with that said.... I have stuff to do and I am not sure how long it will wait for me. While being so close to the end of book #2 of the shades of Grey series... I think I will do some things that do not require my full attention and fit in some more reading. Chances are.... I will end up starting book #3 today and wear out the battery on my Kindle sometime around midnight again. Then I have to put that thing away for a while. I doubt that e-readers last forever ;)
Thanks for reading and have a great day everyone!!
After Saturday's event at the salon, I noticed that my boss' car had a flat. With no able man to help, I called DH with determination to either get his help or change her tire myself. At first, he was reluctant, but came to his senses quite quickly and came over to help. Funny thing.... Well, not so funny. After DH appeared as my knight in shining armor, he wakes up Sunday to a flat tire on his truck. Definitely made him comment that his unselfish act had a price. Luckily, today is another nice day and he took his VW to work (full tires and all). Just another thing on his list to fix when he can. Yep, his "honey-do list" is getting longer and longer.
Yesterday, being Mother's Day, felt like any other ordinary day to me. Waking up after a long night of reading produced a small headache. While I become aware that eventually I will have to really make that eye doctor appointment and bite the bullet that I will need glasses for reading (the headache is a definite sign that I have to go really soon... well, that and the fact that I seem to require to hold my Kindle a little farther so the words don't get all fuzzy), I seem to be doing just fine. After making breakfast for the family (DH did the dishes), I grabbed my Kindle and continued reading book #2 of the shades of Grey series. As I giggle at the notion that this book, as edgy as it appears to me, is a romance novel and I usually never gravitate towards romantic stuff. Books like those give false hope in my eyes and sure as heck does not make my reality any more appealing. Apparently, being hooked into these books makes me less than ambitious to get anything done in what is lovingly called, "my world". I lack multitasking skills when I an drawn into a good read. Struggling to get the grocery list done, I turn off my Kindle to get the family rounded up for our Sunday ritual of togetherness while grocery shopping. With my head clogged up with what is going to happen next in my book, I appreciate that I have DD and DH to keep my head in check while we are in the grocery store.
After returning home and putting away the groceries (which seems to always be my job), I grab my Kindle again to enjoy a little reading before heading off to work again. I agreed to do the touch up for a coworker and Sunday was the only day we both had available. With the shop being closed for Mother's Day, and all, I borrowed the key from another coworker so this task can be done. Feeling uncomfortable having the salon key, I decided to wait in the parking lot for my coworker to arrive. Kindle in hand.... I read a little more. DARN! Perfect day of reading and it is interrupted by my generous nature. Oh well. My coworker arrives and we head inside together and get started.
The salon is quiet. Almost unnerving to me. I am used to the hustle and bustle of a busy salon. My coworker and I start talking. Just usual stuff. I get an update of my other coworker and her battle with cancer. She opted for the surgery. A lot was removed from her and there was a lot of rerouting stuff. She lost not only her gall bladder, she lost part of her stomach, her colon, and her liver, but according to the surgeons.... she is cancer free and will need a very long time to recover. Baffles the mind what was done, but I am glad that she is on the mend. Our event this past weekend raised roughly $800 towards her bills. It is not much, but it is more than nothing. Our conversation moved forward to how things have been. The dynamic of the salon has changed over the past year. People are coming and going, but there is still a fair number that has weathered the storm. While my boss frantically tries to change things for the better, she just can't make everyone happy. This is where the unexpected compliment comes in.... I was told by my coworker that people have been commenting that how the mood and the atmosphere lightens when I come in. I never realized that I can make a difference like that. Something as simple as a smile can create a chain reaction of ease among a group of people that feel stressed. Little do they know.... It takes a lot of effort on my part to separate home life from work. I strive to control every aspect of my life for the greater good of society. My random flossing keeps my head on straight, my constant thinking things over (over analyzing, if you must call it) is my way to see the awe that life has to offer. Good or bad, there is reaction to every action taken. Einstein had it right.... While there are forces that can pull an object towards something, there is opportunity to change the course and create a different result. We have the power to make a difference even when we feel we are not.
Right now, reading has been my undeniable force that has not exactly been challenged. While I can easily set aside a little time to read and still get all my usual stuff done, I feel the pull to read and let everything around me wait. Reading is an escape, but life continues to happen if you participate or not. It is just a matter of balance when we can achieve all that we set our minds to. So... with that said.... I have stuff to do and I am not sure how long it will wait for me. While being so close to the end of book #2 of the shades of Grey series... I think I will do some things that do not require my full attention and fit in some more reading. Chances are.... I will end up starting book #3 today and wear out the battery on my Kindle sometime around midnight again. Then I have to put that thing away for a while. I doubt that e-readers last forever ;)
Thanks for reading and have a great day everyone!!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Fifty shades of......
Good morning everyone!! As I giggle like a schoolgirl over my title choice, I have no doubt that the title got some attention. Yes, I am reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but I know that what comes after this declaration is going to disappoint you (or not).
Did you know...
We all have our own fifty shades of something?
It is about perceptions from experiences. According to my Kindle Fire (which has the book Fifty shades of Grey in it), I am 61% done with the wildly raved book that brings a multitude of feelings. I try to fit in a chapter or two a night before bed. As any book club asks... I try to get a perception of what the book is about that is beyond the obvious... You know, a different perception that I can apply to life (aka life lesson). Believe me... it is not all that hard to try to twist the concept of the book, change the character, Ana, to yourself, and figure if you were strong enough to take on NDA's (non-disclosure agreements) and learn that the person that you feel a strong attraction to is completely non-conventional, mysterious, confusing, and potentially dangerous. Would strong attraction be enough to enter a world where there is no guarantees to being loved the way you imagined love would be, nor have an inkling that the other person truly loves you (or even knows what love is). That balance between what you believe is right and the desire to do anything to grasp onto something that is possibly never yours to begin with. Is your pride worth less than unconditional love and commitment when money is involved? Can you be sold? Then, do you believe that you can be the one to change the twisted ways of someone you love into something you dreamed of or even believed could be possible? Then, if the chance is taken... would you be able to return to your ideals, morals, and beliefs in what you see a committed relationship should be? Or do you take on the same premonition that your quest for love from that person and become one of the same? Balancing on that line of fantasy and reality.... which is more important? Struggling between free will and control is something we all face in our lives, but in this book.... is it this extreme? Doubtful, but does make you think, right?
While the premise of the book is extreme and obviously to one point. There is a softer side to seeing where our own personal fifty shades of something about you is. We are more diverse than these characters. There is more to who we are than what is seen on the surface. What makes it different is that we have ownership to it. It is our thing. All it takes is for someone to desire knowing you to bring it out into the open. Yet, our fifty shades of something had to come from somewhere. That is where experience comes in. Every opportunity offers options. The strongest options are "yes" and "no". An adventurer opts for "yes" more than "no". The adventurer in us is at its strongest in our youth. Being the sponge for knowledge always happens in our youth. We strive to know as much as we can... as often as we can. Usually it takes only once to know if it is worth doing again. In fact, that is where we form our opinions for things. Everyone is different and so goes the opinion, but that opinion is the reason behind the two options to every experience. Is its value worth agreeing or disagreeing to doing it again. That sets our boundaries to what we strive to have in our lives, thus creating our personal fifty shades of something.
Pretty interesting, don't you think?
Well, I have a lot to do today. Mental flossing is done for the day.... Thanks for reading :)
Did you know...
We all have our own fifty shades of something?
It is about perceptions from experiences. According to my Kindle Fire (which has the book Fifty shades of Grey in it), I am 61% done with the wildly raved book that brings a multitude of feelings. I try to fit in a chapter or two a night before bed. As any book club asks... I try to get a perception of what the book is about that is beyond the obvious... You know, a different perception that I can apply to life (aka life lesson). Believe me... it is not all that hard to try to twist the concept of the book, change the character, Ana, to yourself, and figure if you were strong enough to take on NDA's (non-disclosure agreements) and learn that the person that you feel a strong attraction to is completely non-conventional, mysterious, confusing, and potentially dangerous. Would strong attraction be enough to enter a world where there is no guarantees to being loved the way you imagined love would be, nor have an inkling that the other person truly loves you (or even knows what love is). That balance between what you believe is right and the desire to do anything to grasp onto something that is possibly never yours to begin with. Is your pride worth less than unconditional love and commitment when money is involved? Can you be sold? Then, do you believe that you can be the one to change the twisted ways of someone you love into something you dreamed of or even believed could be possible? Then, if the chance is taken... would you be able to return to your ideals, morals, and beliefs in what you see a committed relationship should be? Or do you take on the same premonition that your quest for love from that person and become one of the same? Balancing on that line of fantasy and reality.... which is more important? Struggling between free will and control is something we all face in our lives, but in this book.... is it this extreme? Doubtful, but does make you think, right?
While the premise of the book is extreme and obviously to one point. There is a softer side to seeing where our own personal fifty shades of something about you is. We are more diverse than these characters. There is more to who we are than what is seen on the surface. What makes it different is that we have ownership to it. It is our thing. All it takes is for someone to desire knowing you to bring it out into the open. Yet, our fifty shades of something had to come from somewhere. That is where experience comes in. Every opportunity offers options. The strongest options are "yes" and "no". An adventurer opts for "yes" more than "no". The adventurer in us is at its strongest in our youth. Being the sponge for knowledge always happens in our youth. We strive to know as much as we can... as often as we can. Usually it takes only once to know if it is worth doing again. In fact, that is where we form our opinions for things. Everyone is different and so goes the opinion, but that opinion is the reason behind the two options to every experience. Is its value worth agreeing or disagreeing to doing it again. That sets our boundaries to what we strive to have in our lives, thus creating our personal fifty shades of something.
Pretty interesting, don't you think?
Well, I have a lot to do today. Mental flossing is done for the day.... Thanks for reading :)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Consideration comes at a cost.....
As the saying goes.... nice people finish last. Yep, that characteristic of mine to be considerate of others feelings is costing me.... BIG and I am feeling it. Just downed a couple of Tylenol for my back and planning on calling the Chiropractor later this morning.... All because I am a considerate person.
Battling the worst case of allergies to date results in discomfort that offers no preferred options that I would like. I can either have my eyes and face hurt from swollen sinuses to avoid coughing or take a decongestant to alleviate the pain, but cough from post nasal drip. Either way is not all that desirable. I want freedom from all of this, but as in life, things like this take time. As I chose the latter of the two options, I opted to sleep on the couch because I have strong convictions that disrupting DH's sleep can be more dangerous for him than me. All it takes is for one (or many) nights of poor sleep and mistakes (deadly ones) will happen due to poor judgement or lack of attention to detail. Cars are unforgiving items and do not stop before something bad happens. Proof was "in the pudding" years ago when an employee was not paying attention while working on a car. He had lost the tip (from the first knuckle up) of two fingers on his prominent hand. Since then, he now no longer works on cars, but has been a valuable asset to DH's garage as a service writer.
As I always think of DH and DD first, I tend to let myself pay for my considerate actions. Sleeping on the couch is not good for my back. With the hospital ID still sitting on the end table in the living room as a reminder from the 8 hour battle to get a back spasm from H-E-L-L under control, you would think I'd learn, but alas I haven't. I just could not fathom the chain reaction of poor judgement going farther than me.
How is it possible that I can be so considerate to a fault that the ones around me would allow it to happen? Is it possible that I am weak compared to my family when it comes to needs? Have I actually allowed myself to enable my family so much that consideration for me is no longer thought of? That every sacrifice I made has become more of an expectation than a nice gesture? Have I forgotten that I matter because of it? If so, then why can't I demand some respect or even get an offering of help before things get so bad that it takes a night in the ER for a smidgen of help without asking? As DH is slowly going back to his old habits, of which I knew would happen, I have silently taken on more and more to pick up the slack. In fact, the transition has been happening so seamlessly that it took me a week to notice it. Now since I noticed it... how do I change it? I do not have one vindictive bone in my body to demand for something... anything that benefits only me. Is it possible that the lessons learned as a child... those moral tidbits of being a good person in every aspect of the word... becoming the downside to my well-being? That hard work has its rewards, or taking a walk in someone else's shoes before judging? As I take into consideration that DH works long hours and works very hard for what we have... I have given him the life of luxury at home with zero demands for help... unless it is something I cannot fix on my own. I have learned quite a lot during these past (almost) 14 years of marriage. I know things that my mother has no clue how to handle, nor was she ever required to do so because I took the initiative to do them myself. When it comes to DD and her chores... I just gave up when it came to waiting for her to do as asked. She has a high threshold for procrastination. I lack that ability. DH, on the other hand, is capable, but too tired to attend to what is needed. Even on the weekends he sleeps most of the day away. I attribute that to his week of hard labor.
While I would love more help around the house, I just can't bring myself to ask out of fear to sound like a nag. Nagging has been a one way ticket to endless fighting and I just hate the drama that creates. Of course, add the hard work ethic that has been instilled in me by my parents and I actually feel guilty if I am not pulling my weight around here. Delegating something that I can do sounds like a lazy excuse to get out of getting it done. While the random "thank you" here and there are nice, I just feel that my efforts are under appreciated. Believe me... feeling under appreciated pushes me to do even more and will eventually hurt me physically. Just that consideration to let DH get a good night's rest is being paid in back pain. While I will try to take it easy on myself today, I know that I will end up doing more than I should. Sigh. Yet another thing in my mind that tells me that I either need to bite the bullet and demand more from others that prefer to do less or let the considerate side of me swallow down more than I should be taking. Either choice is not going to give me the result I seek. I just have to figure which is easier to take... Resentment from asking or lack of appreciation for doing it all.
Battling the worst case of allergies to date results in discomfort that offers no preferred options that I would like. I can either have my eyes and face hurt from swollen sinuses to avoid coughing or take a decongestant to alleviate the pain, but cough from post nasal drip. Either way is not all that desirable. I want freedom from all of this, but as in life, things like this take time. As I chose the latter of the two options, I opted to sleep on the couch because I have strong convictions that disrupting DH's sleep can be more dangerous for him than me. All it takes is for one (or many) nights of poor sleep and mistakes (deadly ones) will happen due to poor judgement or lack of attention to detail. Cars are unforgiving items and do not stop before something bad happens. Proof was "in the pudding" years ago when an employee was not paying attention while working on a car. He had lost the tip (from the first knuckle up) of two fingers on his prominent hand. Since then, he now no longer works on cars, but has been a valuable asset to DH's garage as a service writer.
As I always think of DH and DD first, I tend to let myself pay for my considerate actions. Sleeping on the couch is not good for my back. With the hospital ID still sitting on the end table in the living room as a reminder from the 8 hour battle to get a back spasm from H-E-L-L under control, you would think I'd learn, but alas I haven't. I just could not fathom the chain reaction of poor judgement going farther than me.
How is it possible that I can be so considerate to a fault that the ones around me would allow it to happen? Is it possible that I am weak compared to my family when it comes to needs? Have I actually allowed myself to enable my family so much that consideration for me is no longer thought of? That every sacrifice I made has become more of an expectation than a nice gesture? Have I forgotten that I matter because of it? If so, then why can't I demand some respect or even get an offering of help before things get so bad that it takes a night in the ER for a smidgen of help without asking? As DH is slowly going back to his old habits, of which I knew would happen, I have silently taken on more and more to pick up the slack. In fact, the transition has been happening so seamlessly that it took me a week to notice it. Now since I noticed it... how do I change it? I do not have one vindictive bone in my body to demand for something... anything that benefits only me. Is it possible that the lessons learned as a child... those moral tidbits of being a good person in every aspect of the word... becoming the downside to my well-being? That hard work has its rewards, or taking a walk in someone else's shoes before judging? As I take into consideration that DH works long hours and works very hard for what we have... I have given him the life of luxury at home with zero demands for help... unless it is something I cannot fix on my own. I have learned quite a lot during these past (almost) 14 years of marriage. I know things that my mother has no clue how to handle, nor was she ever required to do so because I took the initiative to do them myself. When it comes to DD and her chores... I just gave up when it came to waiting for her to do as asked. She has a high threshold for procrastination. I lack that ability. DH, on the other hand, is capable, but too tired to attend to what is needed. Even on the weekends he sleeps most of the day away. I attribute that to his week of hard labor.
While I would love more help around the house, I just can't bring myself to ask out of fear to sound like a nag. Nagging has been a one way ticket to endless fighting and I just hate the drama that creates. Of course, add the hard work ethic that has been instilled in me by my parents and I actually feel guilty if I am not pulling my weight around here. Delegating something that I can do sounds like a lazy excuse to get out of getting it done. While the random "thank you" here and there are nice, I just feel that my efforts are under appreciated. Believe me... feeling under appreciated pushes me to do even more and will eventually hurt me physically. Just that consideration to let DH get a good night's rest is being paid in back pain. While I will try to take it easy on myself today, I know that I will end up doing more than I should. Sigh. Yet another thing in my mind that tells me that I either need to bite the bullet and demand more from others that prefer to do less or let the considerate side of me swallow down more than I should be taking. Either choice is not going to give me the result I seek. I just have to figure which is easier to take... Resentment from asking or lack of appreciation for doing it all.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Blog-slam....
Good morning! As thoughts race through my mind, I decided upon a quick blog-slam. What is a "blog-slam", you ask? Simple.... the next paragraph is going to be all of the random thoughts that hit me this morning and there was not enough to really create an entertaining read. When you read the below... you will see how random my mind can be when I wake up. Then you can understand the need to do a little "mental flossing", so here goes.....
Ugh! Morning! Stuffed nose, sinus pressure and the overwhelming urge to figure what to take next in this battle of the allergy flareup... Do I take Mucinex D? Shall I return to the steroid nasal spray and cough the thinned crap dripping down my throat? Maybe I just need to keep taking the darn Zyrtec and keep the production of a rubber cement-like substance that will make me cough so hard I will eventually pee my pants when the need arises... Oh, the choices and none of them seem appealing. Open the blinds and feel that surging pain settle behind my eyes...OUCH! and it is not even that bright outside. Check the Kindle to see if it is charged. Darn book has me hooked! I feel the need to fit in a few more chapters... Not sure I like the blushing and childish giggling at reading soft core porn... the title "Fifty Shades of Gray" sure does not scratch the surface regarding how uncomfortable, yet drawn to reading more about something that resembles the movie 9-1/2 weeks has on me. Even Indecent Proposal has crossed my mind.... this writer sure has a talent to shock and awe. I am far from graphic when it comes to personal affairs of the heart, but the writing does grab you and holds your attention. At least DH is away at work today so I can read a little more with my tired eyes that hurt from the unnerving sinus pressure and not feel so dirty doing so. Well, that and if I was to look up at him I do not need to wonder why he lacks the spontaneity this dude has in the book. Actually, I think I am appreciating the predictability DH offers. At least DH is transparent enough to not drive me batty like this girl is suffering. Cough... cough... cough... Darn it! Gotta figure what to take or go see the doctor again... Cough thick rubber cement randomly or thin this junk out and cough all day... the choices are both bad. Time to pack DD's lunch and send her on her way... Ring... ring... ring... the phone. Damn! Where did I put that thing?... "Hello?"... "uh huh... uh huh... Sure. Taekwondo tonight instead of Wednesday night. Got it... No problem... bye." Tell DD that she is going to TKD class tonight because I have to carpool tonight. "Why?", she asks... "Because one of the kids we carpool cannot make it for Wednesday and his parents insist he goes tonight. It has something to do with tryouts for marching band... yet another thing this woman schleps her son off for, so plan on class tonight." Sigh, it is almost 8:30... Time to get DD to school. Return home to laundry and housework... Yep, this is the life.... Check Facebook... play a game or two... think about a status update since being home with nothing else on my social calendar and read the words.... "what is on your mind". Darn it! Just blog. What shall I call it? Blog-slam sounds appealing. Gets all the thoughts out in one long-winded release. Feeling better. Now off to the bank to get some quarters. Laundromat day... sheets and comforters. The rest I can do at home. AhChoo! Allergies! I highly recommend them... that sneeze just released some pressure behind my eyes, but sadly pushed it in my ears. Oh, this just sucks! Muscles in my back are tightening up... time to do some of those yoga stretches that I learned last week. Go to my WW weigh in this morning? Heck no! Feeling way too bloated to sit through a one sided food-Nazi rant over what to eat after I know I gained, but my mom's birthday dinner was too good to pass up. Rarely, if ever, DH agrees to go out to eat. I still have leftovers. I know what I am having for lunch... crab cakes... yum-o! I NEED A VACATION!!!
Thanks for reading! Have a great day :)
Ugh! Morning! Stuffed nose, sinus pressure and the overwhelming urge to figure what to take next in this battle of the allergy flareup... Do I take Mucinex D? Shall I return to the steroid nasal spray and cough the thinned crap dripping down my throat? Maybe I just need to keep taking the darn Zyrtec and keep the production of a rubber cement-like substance that will make me cough so hard I will eventually pee my pants when the need arises... Oh, the choices and none of them seem appealing. Open the blinds and feel that surging pain settle behind my eyes...OUCH! and it is not even that bright outside. Check the Kindle to see if it is charged. Darn book has me hooked! I feel the need to fit in a few more chapters... Not sure I like the blushing and childish giggling at reading soft core porn... the title "Fifty Shades of Gray" sure does not scratch the surface regarding how uncomfortable, yet drawn to reading more about something that resembles the movie 9-1/2 weeks has on me. Even Indecent Proposal has crossed my mind.... this writer sure has a talent to shock and awe. I am far from graphic when it comes to personal affairs of the heart, but the writing does grab you and holds your attention. At least DH is away at work today so I can read a little more with my tired eyes that hurt from the unnerving sinus pressure and not feel so dirty doing so. Well, that and if I was to look up at him I do not need to wonder why he lacks the spontaneity this dude has in the book. Actually, I think I am appreciating the predictability DH offers. At least DH is transparent enough to not drive me batty like this girl is suffering. Cough... cough... cough... Darn it! Gotta figure what to take or go see the doctor again... Cough thick rubber cement randomly or thin this junk out and cough all day... the choices are both bad. Time to pack DD's lunch and send her on her way... Ring... ring... ring... the phone. Damn! Where did I put that thing?... "Hello?"... "uh huh... uh huh... Sure. Taekwondo tonight instead of Wednesday night. Got it... No problem... bye." Tell DD that she is going to TKD class tonight because I have to carpool tonight. "Why?", she asks... "Because one of the kids we carpool cannot make it for Wednesday and his parents insist he goes tonight. It has something to do with tryouts for marching band... yet another thing this woman schleps her son off for, so plan on class tonight." Sigh, it is almost 8:30... Time to get DD to school. Return home to laundry and housework... Yep, this is the life.... Check Facebook... play a game or two... think about a status update since being home with nothing else on my social calendar and read the words.... "what is on your mind". Darn it! Just blog. What shall I call it? Blog-slam sounds appealing. Gets all the thoughts out in one long-winded release. Feeling better. Now off to the bank to get some quarters. Laundromat day... sheets and comforters. The rest I can do at home. AhChoo! Allergies! I highly recommend them... that sneeze just released some pressure behind my eyes, but sadly pushed it in my ears. Oh, this just sucks! Muscles in my back are tightening up... time to do some of those yoga stretches that I learned last week. Go to my WW weigh in this morning? Heck no! Feeling way too bloated to sit through a one sided food-Nazi rant over what to eat after I know I gained, but my mom's birthday dinner was too good to pass up. Rarely, if ever, DH agrees to go out to eat. I still have leftovers. I know what I am having for lunch... crab cakes... yum-o! I NEED A VACATION!!!
Thanks for reading! Have a great day :)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Not ready to let go....
Last night, I got a call from my best friend. Her voice echoed the tone of something important needed to be done. She requested that we get together really soon and that there is no room for being all that relaxed about it.... Time is limited and she really wants to spend some time with me.
While I am fully aware that she got a job offer in another state and is planning on moving there, I figured that we still have time. I thought that her plans were to go there late in the summer, but I was quickly corrected. She is starting to pack up to leave. The time is nearing and is far sooner than I was prepared for. The job she was offered and graciously accepted needs her ASAP. She is currently in the process of tying some loose ends with the part time job being a Nanny. In fact, there are a couple of part time jobs she happens to have. The pay has not been where it needs to be and struggling financially has hit the point to where she needs to say goodbye to what has been her life for years. This new job is something completely different and this is a chance to make enough money to really be self-sufficient in every sense of the word.
As she is aware that there is really no solid support system in place to where she is going, she is taking the leap of faith that everything will work out for the best. Leaving friends and most of her family behind, she is to set off to another state to stay with her brother and his fiance' until there is enough money to find a place of her own. Her parents have been her solid rock offering her shelter and assistance to her bills while she has been struggling to make ends meet. The moment she moves out.... that support is gone and she is responsible to make this new venture work... it has to work. There is no turning back in her eyes.
Her initial move is a small one. Just a bag or two of clothes, her car and some basic necessities. Once she finds a place of her own... she is returning to pack up all her belongings and haul it to her new place (which includes her two birds that she sees as her children).
As I talk to her, thinking we still had more time... I get informed that her moving date is quite close. In fact, it has been moved up. The end of June is the latest date she is allowed to have to get moved. With the potential of making a stable wage, I know that she is not going to have these people wait. She needs to be trained for this job. With mere weeks left to see my friend's face, the time is now to get in as much face time as I can. She is my best friend. She is the one I call when I need to vent. She is the friend that never lets me go out alone if I need a little time and a few beers to decompress from the stress of life. She is my cycling buddy for our annual 25 mile ride through the streets of Chicago (of which we are obviously not going to do anymore). She is the friend that keeps my secrets, makes me laugh when I want to cry and understands me better than anyone else on this planet. It took years to build a friendship like ours. We are more like sisters than friends... we are family. She is called "Aunt" by my daughter, and she is always the first one to offer assistance when needed. This type of friendship is so balanced that it saddens me that those days are numbered. While we can still call, write, or e-mail as a means of communication... it is nothing like the personal time that you spend in the presence of one another. The hug when I need one will never be given by her. The punch in the arm when frustration sets in will no longer come from her. Well, when it came to the punching... I can breathe a sigh of relief that she cannot "knuckle punch" me from over 1,000 miles away...LOL.
What makes this so hard for me is that I am not a young girl anymore. Friends come and go, but true friends are those that take take years of effort to create. I am not sure if life offers that many years at my age to build another friendship like I have with her, and if I have that much effort left in me to try again. Having her as my best friend has been effortless and I really like that. I understand the importance of feeling financially sound and she deserves far better than what life in Illinois has offered. I just would have liked that opportunities like the one she has been offered could have been available here so she would not have to move away. As I do happen to have plenty of friends, I just do not have a friend that can become like family. To be so understood on both sides that there is virtually no need to explain themselves.
Of course, she is slightly freaking out. She now has to find a person to cut her hair the right way. She has trusted me with that job for years. Beyond that, she is going to have to deal with leaving her best friend behind. I believe that things will stay strong between the two of us, but the distance is going to be a challenge. I will have to do things on my own, like shopping, without her input. She knows I hate shopping for myself. Or to go out and have a beer when the need strikes. Not too many of my other friends are local to just join me and have other friends they hang with all the time. Yep, life as I know it is going to change and I am still not ready to let go of what I know....
Thanks for reading.... have a great day!
While I am fully aware that she got a job offer in another state and is planning on moving there, I figured that we still have time. I thought that her plans were to go there late in the summer, but I was quickly corrected. She is starting to pack up to leave. The time is nearing and is far sooner than I was prepared for. The job she was offered and graciously accepted needs her ASAP. She is currently in the process of tying some loose ends with the part time job being a Nanny. In fact, there are a couple of part time jobs she happens to have. The pay has not been where it needs to be and struggling financially has hit the point to where she needs to say goodbye to what has been her life for years. This new job is something completely different and this is a chance to make enough money to really be self-sufficient in every sense of the word.
As she is aware that there is really no solid support system in place to where she is going, she is taking the leap of faith that everything will work out for the best. Leaving friends and most of her family behind, she is to set off to another state to stay with her brother and his fiance' until there is enough money to find a place of her own. Her parents have been her solid rock offering her shelter and assistance to her bills while she has been struggling to make ends meet. The moment she moves out.... that support is gone and she is responsible to make this new venture work... it has to work. There is no turning back in her eyes.
Her initial move is a small one. Just a bag or two of clothes, her car and some basic necessities. Once she finds a place of her own... she is returning to pack up all her belongings and haul it to her new place (which includes her two birds that she sees as her children).
As I talk to her, thinking we still had more time... I get informed that her moving date is quite close. In fact, it has been moved up. The end of June is the latest date she is allowed to have to get moved. With the potential of making a stable wage, I know that she is not going to have these people wait. She needs to be trained for this job. With mere weeks left to see my friend's face, the time is now to get in as much face time as I can. She is my best friend. She is the one I call when I need to vent. She is the friend that never lets me go out alone if I need a little time and a few beers to decompress from the stress of life. She is my cycling buddy for our annual 25 mile ride through the streets of Chicago (of which we are obviously not going to do anymore). She is the friend that keeps my secrets, makes me laugh when I want to cry and understands me better than anyone else on this planet. It took years to build a friendship like ours. We are more like sisters than friends... we are family. She is called "Aunt" by my daughter, and she is always the first one to offer assistance when needed. This type of friendship is so balanced that it saddens me that those days are numbered. While we can still call, write, or e-mail as a means of communication... it is nothing like the personal time that you spend in the presence of one another. The hug when I need one will never be given by her. The punch in the arm when frustration sets in will no longer come from her. Well, when it came to the punching... I can breathe a sigh of relief that she cannot "knuckle punch" me from over 1,000 miles away...LOL.
What makes this so hard for me is that I am not a young girl anymore. Friends come and go, but true friends are those that take take years of effort to create. I am not sure if life offers that many years at my age to build another friendship like I have with her, and if I have that much effort left in me to try again. Having her as my best friend has been effortless and I really like that. I understand the importance of feeling financially sound and she deserves far better than what life in Illinois has offered. I just would have liked that opportunities like the one she has been offered could have been available here so she would not have to move away. As I do happen to have plenty of friends, I just do not have a friend that can become like family. To be so understood on both sides that there is virtually no need to explain themselves.
Of course, she is slightly freaking out. She now has to find a person to cut her hair the right way. She has trusted me with that job for years. Beyond that, she is going to have to deal with leaving her best friend behind. I believe that things will stay strong between the two of us, but the distance is going to be a challenge. I will have to do things on my own, like shopping, without her input. She knows I hate shopping for myself. Or to go out and have a beer when the need strikes. Not too many of my other friends are local to just join me and have other friends they hang with all the time. Yep, life as I know it is going to change and I am still not ready to let go of what I know....
Thanks for reading.... have a great day!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The deep thinker strikes again....
Good morning! Well, things are basically back to normal at home. My back is still sensitive, but after seeing the Chiropractor yesterday... I get it. With a plan in mind of what to do next.... I need to find a new exercise routine. Apparently, the beginner class at the local Y is far too intense for me. I need to hone that back a bit and go to the place where I really liked and bite the money bullet and pay for a set of classes. I think DH will understand. I did get some really good suggestions from the Chiropractor for other options to where I can still utilize the Y and save some money.
Well, last night, I went back to the usual routine of taking the garbage out for the night. Fortunately, I got some help from DH without complaint. That was a nice change. I did get stopped by my next door neighbor that DH coins "the clueless one (aka TCO)". I tend to agree with DH on this one. TCO suffers the same fate as most of the people on our street... Flooding. He just happens to be the only one demanding to sue the village for a solution to only what he sees as his problem. With determination running through his veins, he is always looking for a solution that costs him nothing since his wife finds yet another "project" that must be done for the house. While I envy the fact that this woman (no matter how evil she can be towards her husband) gets whatever she wants, I just happen to have a little pity for TCO. Shooting from the hip every half-baked idea that he thinks would fix the flooding issue to his home with the cheapest cost. He would spend more money on solid oak, raised panel doors for his whole house than invest in something that guarantees better flood protection to his home. His latest half-baked idea actually made me chuckle....
He noticed that whenever it rains, there is a small lake forming on one side of his home. The house next door to him (not mine, obviously), is on slightly higher ground than his and is causing runoff to land on his property. Years of exposure to excessive water has caused a crack in his foundation that needs to be repaired so this excessive water that hits his home does not creep its way in to flood his crawlspace. Has he considered fixing the crack in his foundation? No. He wants to build a drainage system that takes the neighbor's runoff and reroute it down to the street and into the storm drain. While this idea sounds good, he managed to forget that when the storm drain is overflowing.... water does not move. It finds its natural level and will most likely raise back to where it was coming from. Not really a well thought out solution. Also, he thinks that this new drain that takes the seeping rainwater away from his foundation will solve the issue of why the sewer backs up during heavy rainfalls. The storm drain and sewer line are two totally separate things. The cost to do his little "patch" to one problem would cost about $1000 and he wants the village to pay for half. The real solution that has proven effective when it comes to the flooding issue in our homes (of which it is more likely being sewer water than rain water), is to reroute the sewer system to an above grade system with an automatic shutoff and underground reservoir that allows the homeowner to continue using water while the home is temporarily detached from a taxed full sewer line. Cutting off the sewer line avoids backup from returning into the houses. The cost for this... ranges in the ballpark between $8,000 and $10,000 (of which the village will pay half the cost). See my point? Spend $1000 (to get $500 back) and not really solve the issue and still need to manually shut off the sewer line to the house seems wasteful to me. The real solution is the latter thing and that costs thousands. While DH and I would love this system, we just do not have the available money to do so. Shelling out the full cost to wait for the village to reimburse would be too hard of a thing to take at this time. As I tried to explain that his plan has its faults, he actually believes that this will solve all his issues. In fact, he is making plans to do this $1000 "patch" plan really soon.
Knowing that this obviously is not the solution and his belief being as strong as it has been that it is... I wished him luck and went on my merry way. After I got inside my home, I told DH what TCO told me. Apparently, DH is a deep thinker like me because his first question was... "what does it solve when the storm drain gets filled and backs up all that water to his foundation again?" and then he added... "does he realize that this does not stop the threat of sewer water backing up in his home? The sewer line is totally different than the storm drain line.". Yep, I knew marrying this guy he would see what I see. Too bad it is only when TCO bakes up some half-thought out plan. It would be nice to agree on more than that. Oh well, I guess it will be another year of hearing TCO complain that he spent money on something that never really solved the big problem. As for us and our "flood control" plan.... We will just keep using the tried and true system of manually shutting off the sewer line and be in "camping mode" until it is safe to open the line back up again. We just will have to be better at closing it every time it rains more than an inch per hour. When we do have the money... I guarantee you we will invest in that $10,000 fix. Now, only if I could win the lottery or something like that......
Thanks for reading and have a great day :)
Well, last night, I went back to the usual routine of taking the garbage out for the night. Fortunately, I got some help from DH without complaint. That was a nice change. I did get stopped by my next door neighbor that DH coins "the clueless one (aka TCO)". I tend to agree with DH on this one. TCO suffers the same fate as most of the people on our street... Flooding. He just happens to be the only one demanding to sue the village for a solution to only what he sees as his problem. With determination running through his veins, he is always looking for a solution that costs him nothing since his wife finds yet another "project" that must be done for the house. While I envy the fact that this woman (no matter how evil she can be towards her husband) gets whatever she wants, I just happen to have a little pity for TCO. Shooting from the hip every half-baked idea that he thinks would fix the flooding issue to his home with the cheapest cost. He would spend more money on solid oak, raised panel doors for his whole house than invest in something that guarantees better flood protection to his home. His latest half-baked idea actually made me chuckle....
He noticed that whenever it rains, there is a small lake forming on one side of his home. The house next door to him (not mine, obviously), is on slightly higher ground than his and is causing runoff to land on his property. Years of exposure to excessive water has caused a crack in his foundation that needs to be repaired so this excessive water that hits his home does not creep its way in to flood his crawlspace. Has he considered fixing the crack in his foundation? No. He wants to build a drainage system that takes the neighbor's runoff and reroute it down to the street and into the storm drain. While this idea sounds good, he managed to forget that when the storm drain is overflowing.... water does not move. It finds its natural level and will most likely raise back to where it was coming from. Not really a well thought out solution. Also, he thinks that this new drain that takes the seeping rainwater away from his foundation will solve the issue of why the sewer backs up during heavy rainfalls. The storm drain and sewer line are two totally separate things. The cost to do his little "patch" to one problem would cost about $1000 and he wants the village to pay for half. The real solution that has proven effective when it comes to the flooding issue in our homes (of which it is more likely being sewer water than rain water), is to reroute the sewer system to an above grade system with an automatic shutoff and underground reservoir that allows the homeowner to continue using water while the home is temporarily detached from a taxed full sewer line. Cutting off the sewer line avoids backup from returning into the houses. The cost for this... ranges in the ballpark between $8,000 and $10,000 (of which the village will pay half the cost). See my point? Spend $1000 (to get $500 back) and not really solve the issue and still need to manually shut off the sewer line to the house seems wasteful to me. The real solution is the latter thing and that costs thousands. While DH and I would love this system, we just do not have the available money to do so. Shelling out the full cost to wait for the village to reimburse would be too hard of a thing to take at this time. As I tried to explain that his plan has its faults, he actually believes that this will solve all his issues. In fact, he is making plans to do this $1000 "patch" plan really soon.
Knowing that this obviously is not the solution and his belief being as strong as it has been that it is... I wished him luck and went on my merry way. After I got inside my home, I told DH what TCO told me. Apparently, DH is a deep thinker like me because his first question was... "what does it solve when the storm drain gets filled and backs up all that water to his foundation again?" and then he added... "does he realize that this does not stop the threat of sewer water backing up in his home? The sewer line is totally different than the storm drain line.". Yep, I knew marrying this guy he would see what I see. Too bad it is only when TCO bakes up some half-thought out plan. It would be nice to agree on more than that. Oh well, I guess it will be another year of hearing TCO complain that he spent money on something that never really solved the big problem. As for us and our "flood control" plan.... We will just keep using the tried and true system of manually shutting off the sewer line and be in "camping mode" until it is safe to open the line back up again. We just will have to be better at closing it every time it rains more than an inch per hour. When we do have the money... I guarantee you we will invest in that $10,000 fix. Now, only if I could win the lottery or something like that......
Thanks for reading and have a great day :)
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