Yesterday's debacle of a situation that got blown completely out of proportion has me now still needing to speak my mind on the subject of mental issues and how the professional realm of doctors, teachers, and such react to it.
I have heard many stories of parents feeling like they are at a loss when it comes to their children and their attitudes or behavior. I have probably experienced a fair amount of the ridiculous assumptions that it is now fine time to speak my mind on the subject. Since it was apparent that these professionals need to seek out my opinion on the subject... I now need to really let loose my thoughts on the matter....
Has it crossed the minds of these professionals that people manage to say one thing and be seeking another for the need for attention? Has it even crossed the minds of these professionals that too much information readily available via the internet creates more text-book symptoms being shared in the doctor's office to seek out attention? Heck, even self diagnosis is on the rise because people take the generalized terminology and blow it up to epidemic proportions? Especially in the realm of mental health?
I really have no intentions to sugar-coat or even ignore the fact that there are truly disturbed people out there and there are truly warning signs to pay attention to and should never be taken lightly, but I truly believe that there is minimal attention to details that end up resulting in misdiagnoses and unnecessary medications being administered. Lets just discuss a couple of scenarios that I personally experienced over the past 13 years with DD and what I have managed to do about it, along with what was the professionals would have done....
Back, in the days of elementary school for DD, I had to deal with a couple of less than motivational teachers. One was coined "Hitler in heels" because her teaching method bordered on criminal with her short temper and booming voice that had every child in her class cringe. The other was called "the Zen teacher", because she believed in her classroom.... children should be seen and not heard. Both were opposites, but had the same end result of placing blame on my child for her less than entrapped attention to her environment. While both teachers hinted towards having me get my child tested for A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder), I did a little research and found out that my child was suffering from side effects of a well-known medication that was prescribed to her for her reactive airway issues. This drug called "Singulair" was noted as a safe medication for children (as well as adults) to take and had minimal to no side effects. Being a remotely new drug, the mention of side effects did not surface until well after DD started taking this medication. Upon some research, I found that every complaint about my child's lack of attention to detail (as well as her body aches/pains, random facial tics, mood swings, and consistent nightmares) stemmed from being a side effect to this medication. After discussing my findings to the doctor, I got the "green light" to wean her off to see if this was truly a result of side effects. Needless to say.... it was the solution. After mere days off that medication, my child's focus improved and all her other complaints vanished. Now, with that in mind, if I decided to take the route that the professionals (meaning the teacher's idea to have my child tested and eventually medicated for A.D.D.), I would be subjecting my child to taking one pill to counteract the side effects of another. Which would result in possible other medications to fix issues from the other medications, creating a domino effect of other issues that were not really there to need to be treated in the first place. Basically, just a band-aid to the real issue because these professionals refuse to look deeper into other possible conclusions.
Fast forward to the current time. DD is now in Junior High. It is a new school, new experience that transitions them from a singular classroom dynamic of Elementary School to a multiple classroom experience that is found in High School. With this new experience, it is known that there needs to be time to adapt to a different environment, but some people... well most people.... will experience stress for the first time. Now, add in hormonal imbalance (you know, puberty), and teenage angst to that. What you get is a high strung teenager that tends to have a flair for the dramatic. Of course, girls have this affliction far stronger than boys, but it is par for both genders. This is where the child thinks they know best and believes that their parents are completely clueless to the challenges that are placed before them (aka the "you don't understand" phenomenon). With yesterday's debacle of the doctor taking a firm stand that what was obviously teen drama induced angst as a serious threat to the welfare of this child, I was forced to have my child go through a psychological evaluation for depression. Spending money that was not necessary to come to the same conclusion that I came with if this doctor bothered to listen to me, happened to just get me so furious that I returned to the doctor's office to give them a piece of my mind. I did not want DD to see me lose my cool because, frankly, it is not a pretty sight to behold. While understanding the importance of keeping our children safe is foremost the most important thing, it was the shoot-from-the-hip mentality that clouded the judgement and even further made protocol for handling this situation far less effective. Do these doctors think all parents are clueless? Apparently, the mental health professionals noticed that I was not a clueless parent. Of course, it makes me have less faith in the system if a mental healthcare professional asks me what course should be taken in the care of the child. Yep, I was asked that last night. It appears that their college degree is nothing more than a means to a title if they cannot make an executive decision for the care of another individual. I did have the sickening sensation that they were more than willing to just write a prescription without learning all the facts. Also, it appears that the risks of medicating someone for something that has not been solidly proven necessary to medicate was not even considered. Really, would you prescribe an anti-depressant to a person that happened to have a bad day when they went in to see the doctor and truly was not diagnosed as clinically depressed? The side effect risks are scary enough to think about.... potential risks for a person to become suicidal while taking an anti-depressant are far higher when the patient is under the age of 18, but the risk is still there for adults far over the age of 18 demographic.
It appears that society has become more dependent upon the easy way out than to actually look deeper and seek out other potential scenarios that could be causing the problem in the first place. Albeit a side effect of a medication or blatant disregard for all the facts... there is a risk to just agreeing to taking a pill to fix all your ailments. Are you willing to take that risk? Is the potential risks of side effects worth taking if there is a different, yet more personally involved solution out there? Has every professional decided to refuse to put in any more effort than the least possible? Has society become so dependent upon accepting the first opinion that they refuse to seek a second one when it comes to their best interests?
If I did not take the initiative to seek out the various angles of why and accepted what was told to me.... my child would be taking unnecessary medications that can be more damaging than helpful. Maybe I am just one of the very few that refuse to agree to roll over and play stupid when there is a college degree hanging on the wall of the professional that I sought out for help. Maybe my insatiable desire to learn has placed me in a certain demographic that refuses to constantly be a "yes" person all the time, because really... how does a person learn if they do not challenge the conclusion in the first place. Isn't that what life is all about? Learning experiences at every turn? Isn't that what our freedoms allow? Freedom to think? Freedom to learn? And maybe... just maybe... freedom to choose?
Okay, time to get off my soapbox. Carry on with your day.....
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Everybody does.....
Second blog in one day.... yep, a worthy topic to floss about because it is causing me a major headache so, I am just gonna jump in, okay?
This morning, DD made the request for me to call her doctor to see if they can call in a prescription for an inhaler. Her reactive airway issue (also known as asthma), is flaring up. The weather changing so often beings on an irritation to her lungs. Honestly, this happens only twice a year, but we have been controlling it quite well. It just happened to be that time to step up our game and get the inhaled steroid when the weather fluctuates between rain, snow, frigid temps to warm temperatures. Heck, a healthy person with allergies is starting to suffer, so we were prepared for it. With allergy medicine at the ready (for her allergies), we did need to consider getting back on the steroids for a short period of time to avoid the need for an ER visit. We just cannot afford that kind-of monstrosity of a bill to pay.
I informed DD that this type of request will require a doctor visit and she was okay with it. So it was safe to say that she was in dire need to step up her routine. Well, I called the doctor's office after she left to catch the bus for school. Knowing I was right about the office visit, I followed protocol and talked to the nurse prior to my prescription refill request. Apparently, we missed having her annual physical and she was due for a round of shots... oh joy... so, in order to kill two birds with one stone (and save some money when it comes to the insurance co-pay that we shell out), I got an appointment for 1:30 this afternoon. I called the school to inform them that DD was going to be pulled from school for a doctor's appointment and will be missing her last two classes for the day. Thinking I had all my ducks in a row... I went to pick up DD from school at the time I mentioned to find out that they forgot to hand her a pass to go to the office at the time I was to arrive to pick her up. That was the beginning for the catastrophe that I ended up dealing with.
Upon DD's arrival to the office, she was furious with me. She did not plan for the doctor's appointment to happen while school was in session. I calmly handled that tantrum with a smile and got her in my truck. We got to the doctor's office on time and had to fill out yet again more paperwork (which I see is a total waste of trees since our insurance info has not changed and we have not moved since our last visit). With DD throwing daggers from her eyes at me, I jokingly asked if the doctor can remove the stick in DD's backside. At least the nurses had a laugh. We were promptly sent to an examination room and the nurse proceeded to do DD's physical (taking her temperature, getting her weight, checking her blood pressure and even achieved the in-office eye exam). We waited for the doctor for about a half hour and once the doctor appeared, she proceeded to do all the other routine things for a physical and then she just had to ask DD if she could be suffering depression. REALLY?? She is a teenager and not a PhD in psychology and should not be diagnosing herself something like that. But as I sat there and listened to DD mention that she thinks she is suffering depression. Well, that perked the doctor right up. Then this college educated person asks some very pointed questions that a teenager would say for added attention, but would be taken to the literal sense... apparently, DD thought of hurting herself from time to time. What the doctor never asked was if she actually considered a way of doing such a thing. If she did.... she would have come to the same conclusion as I did (and later a mental health practitioner)... DD is not suicidal, she just needed an outlet to vent.
Yep, my simple routine physical for DD resulted in a standoff with the doctor AND a direct trip to the ER for a psychological evaluation. Apparently, DD's mention of never actually following through with any thought of suicide because she has a serious issue with seeing blood, has a painfully low level of pain tolerance and believes that suicide is NOT the answer was not good enough for the good old doctor. She wanted a pound of my flesh and an even bigger gouge to the checkbook, she held DD and I in that examination room for 2 hours to have us agree to go to the ER and get a psychological evaluation. While her demands were reasonable (if I did not actually know my child), I had a really hard time grasping the concept that regardless of what I happen to know and what DD repeated over and over again... this woman refused to listen to reason. I did agree, though, that it would be beneficial that DD has someone other than her family or friends to talk to about things she feels is a cause to be upset over and learn from this outside person how to gain the essential tools to handle depressing and/or stressful situations because children will get depressed from time to time over trivial things. I just did not see it being necessary to drag her off to the hospital immediately to have someone pick her brain. I saw this as her having a bad day and I was more than willing to talk to her about it because I am attentive to her needs at all times and I look out for potential calls for help. Trust me.... I am no moron! I do have a clue!! I watch my child like a hawk, but I refuse to drill into her to make her cry like this doctor. DD was upset with me and she was acting overly dramatic to try to get her way. Calling DD's bluff was enough of a swift kick in the backside for her to realize that words cause actions.... regardless if she means it or not. Watching her stammer her words and try to get out of getting a psych evaluation was proof that her attitude was more driven for dramatic attention than an actual cry for help. I knew it, but the doctor refused to see it or even consider reason from it. I understand that people need to be overly cautious, but this was ridiculous!
While all this was going on in the doctor's office (the initial standoff, that is), the doctor insisted to call DH and inform him of the apparent unbalance of DD's state and her need to get a psychological evaluation.... THEN this woman hands me the phone to talk to DH about how much this evaluation was going to cost. I really did not need to hear his exasperated voice telling me what I already knew and that just the idea of spending an additional $150 over the $30 co-pay for this could quite possibly push us to put the house up for sale and we would have to move because we just cannot afford such extravagances. I did my best to not let the doctor know that I was being yelled at over the phone and managed to reason with DH that this was for DD's benefit. Of course, I knew he was going to agree to let me take her in to be evaluated, but was reminding me that he is not happy that we had to waste money we did not have to prove a point to this determined doctor. Trust me... when we did finally do everything that this doctor asked for and picked up her prescription... we just spent a total of $260 in roughly 5 hours (a $30 co-pay to see the doctor, $150 co-pay to the ER for the evaluation, and $80 for her prescription refills of an inhaler and an inhaled steroid)... That worked out to $52 an hour being spent... far more than what DH and myself can earn an hour combined. Then, of course, we will still get a bill from the hospital after out insurance will not pay for the psychological evaluation that resulted in a diagnosis of suffering an inability to adapt to a new environment and a list of psychology counselors that charge roughly $50 an hour to say uh-huh at random moments and ask "how do you feel about it". Heck, during the evaluation (that both DD and I talked to different people in separate rooms), I was asked what I thought and how I would like to treat this situation. Really?? They have the college degrees and I am making decisions for the welfare of my child? Makes me scratch my head. The talk I had with DD for the ride home solved a majority of her problems and that actually costs our pocketbook a big, fat ZERO! Well, at least DD got some stuff off her chest, she is in a better mood, and I get to deal with the wrath of DH when it comes to that waste of money being spent. She now knows that it really does not need to cost $150 in a co-pay to talk to her mom about her problems first. Darn shame we could not turn the hands of time to save us that blow to the pocketbook, but you know.... hindsight is 20/20. She got to understand that everyone suffers a little depression from time to time, but as long as you try to not let it keep you down.... you will be just fine in the end. In fact... you become a little stronger in the process. I should know.... I am walking proof that even if I get knocked down repeatedly (of which it happens often), I will keep getting up. I may resort to crying alone and occasionally screaming in solitude, but I keep trying to move forward and make life bearable. Call it conformity, call it acceptance... I see it as dealing with what life offers the best I possibly can. Even if I have to resort to blogging about my feelings... I do what I can to let go the negativity and look forward for better things to come.
This morning, DD made the request for me to call her doctor to see if they can call in a prescription for an inhaler. Her reactive airway issue (also known as asthma), is flaring up. The weather changing so often beings on an irritation to her lungs. Honestly, this happens only twice a year, but we have been controlling it quite well. It just happened to be that time to step up our game and get the inhaled steroid when the weather fluctuates between rain, snow, frigid temps to warm temperatures. Heck, a healthy person with allergies is starting to suffer, so we were prepared for it. With allergy medicine at the ready (for her allergies), we did need to consider getting back on the steroids for a short period of time to avoid the need for an ER visit. We just cannot afford that kind-of monstrosity of a bill to pay.
I informed DD that this type of request will require a doctor visit and she was okay with it. So it was safe to say that she was in dire need to step up her routine. Well, I called the doctor's office after she left to catch the bus for school. Knowing I was right about the office visit, I followed protocol and talked to the nurse prior to my prescription refill request. Apparently, we missed having her annual physical and she was due for a round of shots... oh joy... so, in order to kill two birds with one stone (and save some money when it comes to the insurance co-pay that we shell out), I got an appointment for 1:30 this afternoon. I called the school to inform them that DD was going to be pulled from school for a doctor's appointment and will be missing her last two classes for the day. Thinking I had all my ducks in a row... I went to pick up DD from school at the time I mentioned to find out that they forgot to hand her a pass to go to the office at the time I was to arrive to pick her up. That was the beginning for the catastrophe that I ended up dealing with.
Upon DD's arrival to the office, she was furious with me. She did not plan for the doctor's appointment to happen while school was in session. I calmly handled that tantrum with a smile and got her in my truck. We got to the doctor's office on time and had to fill out yet again more paperwork (which I see is a total waste of trees since our insurance info has not changed and we have not moved since our last visit). With DD throwing daggers from her eyes at me, I jokingly asked if the doctor can remove the stick in DD's backside. At least the nurses had a laugh. We were promptly sent to an examination room and the nurse proceeded to do DD's physical (taking her temperature, getting her weight, checking her blood pressure and even achieved the in-office eye exam). We waited for the doctor for about a half hour and once the doctor appeared, she proceeded to do all the other routine things for a physical and then she just had to ask DD if she could be suffering depression. REALLY?? She is a teenager and not a PhD in psychology and should not be diagnosing herself something like that. But as I sat there and listened to DD mention that she thinks she is suffering depression. Well, that perked the doctor right up. Then this college educated person asks some very pointed questions that a teenager would say for added attention, but would be taken to the literal sense... apparently, DD thought of hurting herself from time to time. What the doctor never asked was if she actually considered a way of doing such a thing. If she did.... she would have come to the same conclusion as I did (and later a mental health practitioner)... DD is not suicidal, she just needed an outlet to vent.
Yep, my simple routine physical for DD resulted in a standoff with the doctor AND a direct trip to the ER for a psychological evaluation. Apparently, DD's mention of never actually following through with any thought of suicide because she has a serious issue with seeing blood, has a painfully low level of pain tolerance and believes that suicide is NOT the answer was not good enough for the good old doctor. She wanted a pound of my flesh and an even bigger gouge to the checkbook, she held DD and I in that examination room for 2 hours to have us agree to go to the ER and get a psychological evaluation. While her demands were reasonable (if I did not actually know my child), I had a really hard time grasping the concept that regardless of what I happen to know and what DD repeated over and over again... this woman refused to listen to reason. I did agree, though, that it would be beneficial that DD has someone other than her family or friends to talk to about things she feels is a cause to be upset over and learn from this outside person how to gain the essential tools to handle depressing and/or stressful situations because children will get depressed from time to time over trivial things. I just did not see it being necessary to drag her off to the hospital immediately to have someone pick her brain. I saw this as her having a bad day and I was more than willing to talk to her about it because I am attentive to her needs at all times and I look out for potential calls for help. Trust me.... I am no moron! I do have a clue!! I watch my child like a hawk, but I refuse to drill into her to make her cry like this doctor. DD was upset with me and she was acting overly dramatic to try to get her way. Calling DD's bluff was enough of a swift kick in the backside for her to realize that words cause actions.... regardless if she means it or not. Watching her stammer her words and try to get out of getting a psych evaluation was proof that her attitude was more driven for dramatic attention than an actual cry for help. I knew it, but the doctor refused to see it or even consider reason from it. I understand that people need to be overly cautious, but this was ridiculous!
While all this was going on in the doctor's office (the initial standoff, that is), the doctor insisted to call DH and inform him of the apparent unbalance of DD's state and her need to get a psychological evaluation.... THEN this woman hands me the phone to talk to DH about how much this evaluation was going to cost. I really did not need to hear his exasperated voice telling me what I already knew and that just the idea of spending an additional $150 over the $30 co-pay for this could quite possibly push us to put the house up for sale and we would have to move because we just cannot afford such extravagances. I did my best to not let the doctor know that I was being yelled at over the phone and managed to reason with DH that this was for DD's benefit. Of course, I knew he was going to agree to let me take her in to be evaluated, but was reminding me that he is not happy that we had to waste money we did not have to prove a point to this determined doctor. Trust me... when we did finally do everything that this doctor asked for and picked up her prescription... we just spent a total of $260 in roughly 5 hours (a $30 co-pay to see the doctor, $150 co-pay to the ER for the evaluation, and $80 for her prescription refills of an inhaler and an inhaled steroid)... That worked out to $52 an hour being spent... far more than what DH and myself can earn an hour combined. Then, of course, we will still get a bill from the hospital after out insurance will not pay for the psychological evaluation that resulted in a diagnosis of suffering an inability to adapt to a new environment and a list of psychology counselors that charge roughly $50 an hour to say uh-huh at random moments and ask "how do you feel about it". Heck, during the evaluation (that both DD and I talked to different people in separate rooms), I was asked what I thought and how I would like to treat this situation. Really?? They have the college degrees and I am making decisions for the welfare of my child? Makes me scratch my head. The talk I had with DD for the ride home solved a majority of her problems and that actually costs our pocketbook a big, fat ZERO! Well, at least DD got some stuff off her chest, she is in a better mood, and I get to deal with the wrath of DH when it comes to that waste of money being spent. She now knows that it really does not need to cost $150 in a co-pay to talk to her mom about her problems first. Darn shame we could not turn the hands of time to save us that blow to the pocketbook, but you know.... hindsight is 20/20. She got to understand that everyone suffers a little depression from time to time, but as long as you try to not let it keep you down.... you will be just fine in the end. In fact... you become a little stronger in the process. I should know.... I am walking proof that even if I get knocked down repeatedly (of which it happens often), I will keep getting up. I may resort to crying alone and occasionally screaming in solitude, but I keep trying to move forward and make life bearable. Call it conformity, call it acceptance... I see it as dealing with what life offers the best I possibly can. Even if I have to resort to blogging about my feelings... I do what I can to let go the negativity and look forward for better things to come.
Spending money like I had it around half naked people...YIKES!
Good morning! NOW that I have your attention with that blog title.... we can get this "flossing" going.
Hairdressers, like myself, are required to attend hair shows. The way I look at it is.... we get to see the movers and shakers in the hair industry showcase the upcoming trends before the pictures grace the magazines. Along with showing what is the up and coming trend... we get to see (and learn) how to achieve these styles. While most are quite outlandish for the demographic I happen to reside and work in.... it never hurts to learn some new techniques. In fact, being the artist that I happen to be.... there are opportunities to tweak the technique to become applicable in various degrees to regular people that cannot sport such interesting looks. Really, no two people should look identical anyway. Where would the individual's uniqueness shine if you all look the same? There are far too many people that judge by the look of a person instead of really getting to know them. I think that is really sad, but it is quite true.
Well, onward to what I titled this blog for....
Just a couple of days ago, I went to one of the largest (and basically longest lasting) hair shows in Chicago. It was called.... The Midwest Beauty Show. It is now called.... The America's Beauty Show. Basically, in the eyes of a person that happens to be a sponge for learning (thus my blog has been a journey of not just clearing my mind of the mundane, I also try to offer what I learned from the experience. Even though it is more based upon the conclusions I draw from these experiences, but I do happen to see others feeling the same way.)... this hair show is more fluff than substance.
Picture this.... A large building holding a venue that is filled with booths of tools and products for people to purchase, a few small stages to demonstrate techniques, and models wearing either half of something or very little of everything that basically are to showcase that specific product or style of hair. Sadly, I forgot my camera to share the actual look of this, but in all honesty.... this hair/beauty show was more of a one-stop shopping extravaganza for the hairdressing professional. There was no place to sit and focus on one thing to actually learn much. It was loud, crowded, and filled with far too many "shiny" things for people to purchase. What people seem to forget at these venues is that there are some professionals that would rather focus on an item than be distracted with a very attractive and scantily clothed person in your field of view. I have no doubt that there were quite a few people buying things because there was a half naked man holding it with a smile on his face, regardless if they really needed it or not.
Some vendors felt it was necessary to be so outlandish in their presentation of the goods that they were selling.... it was hard to rationalize the reasons behind it. Really, where does a woman in stilts standing between two half-naked men stir up the need to buy a curling iron or blow dryer? Heck, some of these hair models wore stuff that I considered being so tattered that it would be in the rag bin at my house to show off their expertly styled hair. Somehow, this one model made me think.... is she a street walker or so poor that clothes are an afterthought to their hair (meaning: look at my expensive hair style!... So expensive, I cannot afford real clothes!) Heck, I understand that sex sells these days.... look at some of these commercials on TV nowadays.... but is it really necessary to keep lowering the bar?
Trust me, I have no complaints looking at a well-chiseled physique. I saw a fair number of them at the show. Heck, I read contemporary romance novels for Pete's sake! I just did not appreciate feeling struck dumb in the presence of it. Well, fortunately, I had the common sense to look beyond most of it and only bought my much needed tools that I had to replace. I sought out the best deals and focused strictly on my list of those necessities.
The only issue I had... which turned out to be the best decision I ever made.... was how much I spent. I walked in with $100 in my wallet. I figured that would be enough for the few things I needed to get. Apparently, I was wrong, and spent an additional $200 on my credit card that I will have to explain to DH once the bill comes in. The reason it ended up being the best decision I ever made was because of the quality of the items I purchased. I really did not need a new flat iron. I happen to have one that works just fine, but the package deal for the curling iron had a flat iron in it. After receiving a demonstration of how well the flat iron works to tame frizzy hair, of which mine was that day from the drizzling rain, I was sold. Never in my life did I see a flat iron do what it did for my hair! Made it shiny, soft and completely frizz free! Even after leaving the show (in yet again the drizzling rain), my hair stayed frizz free! The promotional special was that you got a flat iron, a curling iron (in the size I needed), and a container of deep conditioner for $150. I will tell you this..... it was worth every penny! I used my new stuff and even had a co-worker play with my new stuff to curl my hair. It worked flawlessly and without added hair products. My hair is still just as curly as I had it done yesterday and that is after sleeping on it, too. There is no hair spray on my hair and it is still holding a curl! What a liberating experience it is to be able to run my hands through my hair that is in soft curls without the feel of hair spray! Even that conditioner that came with this stuff renewed the feel of my hair! What I do find interesting is that the booth where I bought my new irons was at a booth that did not have one scantily clad model in sight. Just a quality product sold without all the fluff and glitter of someone better looking distracting you.
So, the lesson learned was..... look beyond the flash and fluff when choosing what you intend to get.... and.... when quality comes to mind.... it is not the most expensive item, nor is it the cheapest item... it is what works best for you. That iron set I got was not the most expensive, but it was obviously not the cheapest... it just happens to perform in the manner it is meant to be. The 5 year warranty does not hurt, either ;)
Now, to prepare myself for the upcoming scream-fest from DH once my credit card bill comes in.
Hairdressers, like myself, are required to attend hair shows. The way I look at it is.... we get to see the movers and shakers in the hair industry showcase the upcoming trends before the pictures grace the magazines. Along with showing what is the up and coming trend... we get to see (and learn) how to achieve these styles. While most are quite outlandish for the demographic I happen to reside and work in.... it never hurts to learn some new techniques. In fact, being the artist that I happen to be.... there are opportunities to tweak the technique to become applicable in various degrees to regular people that cannot sport such interesting looks. Really, no two people should look identical anyway. Where would the individual's uniqueness shine if you all look the same? There are far too many people that judge by the look of a person instead of really getting to know them. I think that is really sad, but it is quite true.
Well, onward to what I titled this blog for....
Just a couple of days ago, I went to one of the largest (and basically longest lasting) hair shows in Chicago. It was called.... The Midwest Beauty Show. It is now called.... The America's Beauty Show. Basically, in the eyes of a person that happens to be a sponge for learning (thus my blog has been a journey of not just clearing my mind of the mundane, I also try to offer what I learned from the experience. Even though it is more based upon the conclusions I draw from these experiences, but I do happen to see others feeling the same way.)... this hair show is more fluff than substance.
Picture this.... A large building holding a venue that is filled with booths of tools and products for people to purchase, a few small stages to demonstrate techniques, and models wearing either half of something or very little of everything that basically are to showcase that specific product or style of hair. Sadly, I forgot my camera to share the actual look of this, but in all honesty.... this hair/beauty show was more of a one-stop shopping extravaganza for the hairdressing professional. There was no place to sit and focus on one thing to actually learn much. It was loud, crowded, and filled with far too many "shiny" things for people to purchase. What people seem to forget at these venues is that there are some professionals that would rather focus on an item than be distracted with a very attractive and scantily clothed person in your field of view. I have no doubt that there were quite a few people buying things because there was a half naked man holding it with a smile on his face, regardless if they really needed it or not.
Some vendors felt it was necessary to be so outlandish in their presentation of the goods that they were selling.... it was hard to rationalize the reasons behind it. Really, where does a woman in stilts standing between two half-naked men stir up the need to buy a curling iron or blow dryer? Heck, some of these hair models wore stuff that I considered being so tattered that it would be in the rag bin at my house to show off their expertly styled hair. Somehow, this one model made me think.... is she a street walker or so poor that clothes are an afterthought to their hair (meaning: look at my expensive hair style!... So expensive, I cannot afford real clothes!) Heck, I understand that sex sells these days.... look at some of these commercials on TV nowadays.... but is it really necessary to keep lowering the bar?
Trust me, I have no complaints looking at a well-chiseled physique. I saw a fair number of them at the show. Heck, I read contemporary romance novels for Pete's sake! I just did not appreciate feeling struck dumb in the presence of it. Well, fortunately, I had the common sense to look beyond most of it and only bought my much needed tools that I had to replace. I sought out the best deals and focused strictly on my list of those necessities.
The only issue I had... which turned out to be the best decision I ever made.... was how much I spent. I walked in with $100 in my wallet. I figured that would be enough for the few things I needed to get. Apparently, I was wrong, and spent an additional $200 on my credit card that I will have to explain to DH once the bill comes in. The reason it ended up being the best decision I ever made was because of the quality of the items I purchased. I really did not need a new flat iron. I happen to have one that works just fine, but the package deal for the curling iron had a flat iron in it. After receiving a demonstration of how well the flat iron works to tame frizzy hair, of which mine was that day from the drizzling rain, I was sold. Never in my life did I see a flat iron do what it did for my hair! Made it shiny, soft and completely frizz free! Even after leaving the show (in yet again the drizzling rain), my hair stayed frizz free! The promotional special was that you got a flat iron, a curling iron (in the size I needed), and a container of deep conditioner for $150. I will tell you this..... it was worth every penny! I used my new stuff and even had a co-worker play with my new stuff to curl my hair. It worked flawlessly and without added hair products. My hair is still just as curly as I had it done yesterday and that is after sleeping on it, too. There is no hair spray on my hair and it is still holding a curl! What a liberating experience it is to be able to run my hands through my hair that is in soft curls without the feel of hair spray! Even that conditioner that came with this stuff renewed the feel of my hair! What I do find interesting is that the booth where I bought my new irons was at a booth that did not have one scantily clad model in sight. Just a quality product sold without all the fluff and glitter of someone better looking distracting you.
So, the lesson learned was..... look beyond the flash and fluff when choosing what you intend to get.... and.... when quality comes to mind.... it is not the most expensive item, nor is it the cheapest item... it is what works best for you. That iron set I got was not the most expensive, but it was obviously not the cheapest... it just happens to perform in the manner it is meant to be. The 5 year warranty does not hurt, either ;)
Now, to prepare myself for the upcoming scream-fest from DH once my credit card bill comes in.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Brain drain.....
Good morning! Just taking a moment to floss before I face more housework. Luckily, I have very little to blog about. So, this will be quick and painless....
Spent yesterday focusing on one task because I apparently still have the reading fever going on. Looks like I will be frequenting the library just a bit more in the coming weeks since the last book I read only took me a day to complete. Not sure on the number of pages, but 21 chapters via the Kindle Fire probably guaranteed me at least 300 actual paper pages if I read the actual hard copy of a book. I can at least breathe a little easier since it was strictly laundry and if you all could have seen the way my laundry room looked like..... it was quite a feat to clear that room out. Basically, it looked like a clothing store blew up down there. Darn shame I did not take a picture to really drive the idea home, but I was determined to get something done other than the usual stuff of dusting and using the vacuum.
Along with the usual tasks taking far too long to get done, I am thankful that the weather is finally starting to show signs of Spring. The last snowfall was roughly 10 inches of a nightmare that I really did not want to deal with. Probably because I was running out of places to put the freshly shoveled snow. I actually have a pile of snow in front of my house that was almost as tall as me, and being roughly 5 foot 7 inches (on a good day), makes it hard to heave the heavy slop we got when it came to snow. Sadly, I think my little chair and table set that I have on the small patio/seating area by my front door is going to need to be replaced. Plastic stuff is not meant to take that much snow being piled on it. I could be wrong, though, but I will have to wait until that snow pile melts to see if that is the case. With the temperatures nearing the 40 degree mark.... I am just thrilled to see that white nightmare finally melt. Of course, I have a new set of concerns to deal with. With all this snow melting, a rainfall on the horizon, and living in a subdivision that tends to flood quite easily.... I have a huge pile of snow covering this house's only defense to getting sewer backup when the rains flood the storm drains... the shutoff valve. I just hope the upcoming rains do not pose a threat before the roughly 2 feet of snow can melt away so I can access it. I really do not want to flood here. It is a real pain-in-the-backside to contend with. I just have to remain positive that that won't happen and all will be safe.
In my lack-a-daisy ways, I was taking my time waking up this morning. Well, that is, until I smelled smoke. Apparently, DH and DD cannot cook worth a darn. DH apparently likes his frozen waffle cooked beyond a golden brown, and DD did not pay attention to the toaster when she made her toast because her first attempt turned her two slices of bread into charcoal briquettes that she promptly threw away in the trash. I need to remind her that freshly burnt items cannot be thrown away unless it is a guarantee that it cannot catch something else on fire. Well, that and to at least turn on the exhaust fan over the stove to pull the smoke out of the house. The fire alarms were on the verge of going off. I did, though, manage to snake my way through the smoke to turn the exhaust fan on and open the back door for better airflow. I managed to check the garbage can to see if her burnt toast was melting the garbage can liner. I think it is about time to remind her where the fire extinguisher is in the kitchen and give her a quick lesson on how to use it. Fortunately, we never had to use the thing, but it is a wonderful piece of mind we have one anyway. It would look pretty dismal if our house caught fire..... DH's business partner is a fireman and we would never hear the end of it if the fire was from something as mundane as a burnt piece of toast.
Of course, after I got roughly eight loads of laundry done, I wake up to even more clothes brought to the laundry room this morning. At least I did not have to wander around the house to collect it from DD's room and along DH's side of the bed. There might actually be hope for the two of them. Still, I am not gonna hold my breath for that one. I have years of dealing with this situation and their track record speaks for itself.... it was just a freak incident.
I do have one thing to look forward to this Spring/Summer... I figured my new project for when DH goes on his "fishing" trip. I will be painting the middle bedroom that is used as the place where my computer resides. I think it is due time to do a little "redecorating on a dime". Also, I have a couple of other small projects to attend to.... DD's room needs new window coverings and there is a shelf in the laundry room that needs to be replaced. Maybe DH will become motivated to remove the old swing set in the back yard and even fix the hole in the side of the shed properly. Heck, maybe he will even paint the shed to match the house. It has only been somewhere around 14 years since the house was painted. Of course, Mr. Smarty Pants used stain instead of actual paint for the wood and that last time he painted is holding up quite well. Maybe (if I really pray hard enough), he will be motivated to paint the main floor of the house since our living room is in dire need of a new color. Trust me.... just getting him to at least paint that room would make a world of difference. I will easily live with the kool-aid stained carpet that DD created for us when she was little. I actually believe that baby steps in updating the house is perfectly fine with me, but we are in dire need of the first baby step to be taken. If we had the money to do what we really need to do... that is... put in an automatic sewer shutoff system for the house.... I really could live with my house crumbling around my ankles as long as it was guaranteed to never flood ever again. But we just do not have the $12,000 to invest in such a non-visual luxury. We have a kid we need to put through college. Oh, just to be fortunate enough to win the lottery..... all of the things we can accomplish... sigh. But I digress.... I really do not need to be greedy and win a huge multi-million dollar amount. I need just enough to pay off what needs to be paid off and to fix everything that needs fixing with a little extra to take a short vacation and cover DD's college career. In comparison to winning over 100 million... I think 1 million will be just fine. See? Not greedy at all....
Well, my daily chores sure don't get done by their-self. Time to get a-move-on. Thanks for reading and have a great day!... In fact, have a great weekend (since it is Friday, and all)...
Spent yesterday focusing on one task because I apparently still have the reading fever going on. Looks like I will be frequenting the library just a bit more in the coming weeks since the last book I read only took me a day to complete. Not sure on the number of pages, but 21 chapters via the Kindle Fire probably guaranteed me at least 300 actual paper pages if I read the actual hard copy of a book. I can at least breathe a little easier since it was strictly laundry and if you all could have seen the way my laundry room looked like..... it was quite a feat to clear that room out. Basically, it looked like a clothing store blew up down there. Darn shame I did not take a picture to really drive the idea home, but I was determined to get something done other than the usual stuff of dusting and using the vacuum.
Along with the usual tasks taking far too long to get done, I am thankful that the weather is finally starting to show signs of Spring. The last snowfall was roughly 10 inches of a nightmare that I really did not want to deal with. Probably because I was running out of places to put the freshly shoveled snow. I actually have a pile of snow in front of my house that was almost as tall as me, and being roughly 5 foot 7 inches (on a good day), makes it hard to heave the heavy slop we got when it came to snow. Sadly, I think my little chair and table set that I have on the small patio/seating area by my front door is going to need to be replaced. Plastic stuff is not meant to take that much snow being piled on it. I could be wrong, though, but I will have to wait until that snow pile melts to see if that is the case. With the temperatures nearing the 40 degree mark.... I am just thrilled to see that white nightmare finally melt. Of course, I have a new set of concerns to deal with. With all this snow melting, a rainfall on the horizon, and living in a subdivision that tends to flood quite easily.... I have a huge pile of snow covering this house's only defense to getting sewer backup when the rains flood the storm drains... the shutoff valve. I just hope the upcoming rains do not pose a threat before the roughly 2 feet of snow can melt away so I can access it. I really do not want to flood here. It is a real pain-in-the-backside to contend with. I just have to remain positive that that won't happen and all will be safe.
In my lack-a-daisy ways, I was taking my time waking up this morning. Well, that is, until I smelled smoke. Apparently, DH and DD cannot cook worth a darn. DH apparently likes his frozen waffle cooked beyond a golden brown, and DD did not pay attention to the toaster when she made her toast because her first attempt turned her two slices of bread into charcoal briquettes that she promptly threw away in the trash. I need to remind her that freshly burnt items cannot be thrown away unless it is a guarantee that it cannot catch something else on fire. Well, that and to at least turn on the exhaust fan over the stove to pull the smoke out of the house. The fire alarms were on the verge of going off. I did, though, manage to snake my way through the smoke to turn the exhaust fan on and open the back door for better airflow. I managed to check the garbage can to see if her burnt toast was melting the garbage can liner. I think it is about time to remind her where the fire extinguisher is in the kitchen and give her a quick lesson on how to use it. Fortunately, we never had to use the thing, but it is a wonderful piece of mind we have one anyway. It would look pretty dismal if our house caught fire..... DH's business partner is a fireman and we would never hear the end of it if the fire was from something as mundane as a burnt piece of toast.
Of course, after I got roughly eight loads of laundry done, I wake up to even more clothes brought to the laundry room this morning. At least I did not have to wander around the house to collect it from DD's room and along DH's side of the bed. There might actually be hope for the two of them. Still, I am not gonna hold my breath for that one. I have years of dealing with this situation and their track record speaks for itself.... it was just a freak incident.
I do have one thing to look forward to this Spring/Summer... I figured my new project for when DH goes on his "fishing" trip. I will be painting the middle bedroom that is used as the place where my computer resides. I think it is due time to do a little "redecorating on a dime". Also, I have a couple of other small projects to attend to.... DD's room needs new window coverings and there is a shelf in the laundry room that needs to be replaced. Maybe DH will become motivated to remove the old swing set in the back yard and even fix the hole in the side of the shed properly. Heck, maybe he will even paint the shed to match the house. It has only been somewhere around 14 years since the house was painted. Of course, Mr. Smarty Pants used stain instead of actual paint for the wood and that last time he painted is holding up quite well. Maybe (if I really pray hard enough), he will be motivated to paint the main floor of the house since our living room is in dire need of a new color. Trust me.... just getting him to at least paint that room would make a world of difference. I will easily live with the kool-aid stained carpet that DD created for us when she was little. I actually believe that baby steps in updating the house is perfectly fine with me, but we are in dire need of the first baby step to be taken. If we had the money to do what we really need to do... that is... put in an automatic sewer shutoff system for the house.... I really could live with my house crumbling around my ankles as long as it was guaranteed to never flood ever again. But we just do not have the $12,000 to invest in such a non-visual luxury. We have a kid we need to put through college. Oh, just to be fortunate enough to win the lottery..... all of the things we can accomplish... sigh. But I digress.... I really do not need to be greedy and win a huge multi-million dollar amount. I need just enough to pay off what needs to be paid off and to fix everything that needs fixing with a little extra to take a short vacation and cover DD's college career. In comparison to winning over 100 million... I think 1 million will be just fine. See? Not greedy at all....
Well, my daily chores sure don't get done by their-self. Time to get a-move-on. Thanks for reading and have a great day!... In fact, have a great weekend (since it is Friday, and all)...
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Whoops.....
I'll admit it... I love to read books. My Kindle Fire and the local public library are my places for entertainment these days. In fact, I visit Amazon.com for research into the next book I manage to read. Luckily, a good number of books I get from there are under $3, but I also happen to look to see if the more expensive books are available at the library (gotta just love the on-line availability to look up and reserve available books at the library -- saves me time searching).
Apparently, my insatiable need to read more has not slowed down over this past year..... Yep, it has been a year that I started this reading jag of sorts. I lost count after 200 books and I have even accidentally rechecked out books that I have read from the library. Luckily, I have started writing reviews of books that I have read on Amazon, just to keep track, that is. I happen to have quite a few books that I have reread because I enjoyed them so much.
What concerns me is the recent incident that I purchased a book (for $1.99), was not exactly my cup o' tea. I happen to enjoy contemporary fiction, chick-lit, and even in some cases... romance novels. With the notion that people read what they lack coming to mind... it is obvious that I lack a serious case of what others would call "the warm fuzzies". Nope, not a lot of that warm, fuzzy, and even sometimes dramatic filled sappy crap that I thought I could live without through literature happening in my life. Honestly, I am okay that I am not looked upon lovingly or have a person feel that they have the strong need to protect me from the dangers out there. It was something I never really felt was important to me, but would like to have happen to me from time to time. So with my choice to marry a man that made me laugh and has a serious lack of the romance gene.... it is really nobody else's fault but my own that I have what I happen to have. While deep down inside, I wished that love actually grew with the person you are with... I now know better.
Well, this recent purchase of this book gave me the notion that it was something I would enjoy (a romantic book of sorts with an athlete/sport backdrop like football, hockey, or baseball).... I was painfully far from that assumption. Was this book a contemporary work of fiction? Not really. Was it a romance novel? Kind of, if you can look at it with your head tilted and you squint your eyes. Was it in the genre of Chick-lit? Heck no. Nope, my insatiable need to read something ended up in a purchase of a book in a different, albeit uncomfortable genre of..... erotica.
Holy Sh-nikes Batman!!! Pretty brutal language printed on those pages!! This book lacked the drama of 50 Shades of Grey, but was spot on with the make-a-woman blush and feel the need to read this in a closet use of words that I needed a cold shower after reading it. What I did manage to find worthy of a story line was painfully weak, but it got very high ratings on Amazon.com. I apparently forgot to look at the book information that tells you the genre of which this book fits into and the forewarned mention to having very strong language. Little did I know that erotica books can slip into the genre of romance in the eyes of such a large company like Amazon. Heck, the publishers of the book made this story seem more light and airy than what it really was. That has to be the reason it slipped into a genre that it obviously was not as an option to read. I now know better, but whew! That was a little unsettling for me to read. Kudos to those that loved this book. I can only gather that they have a stronger need than I do for stuff like that. I never thought I could feel that uncomfortable reading a book, but now I know.
I have made myself a promise that I will be more thorough in selecting any future books. I have one book a client of mine brought for me to read. It is not in the genres I lean towards, but his reasoning is to try to help me shy away from getting burnt out in the current genre that I have been in. He sells books for a living and highly recommends it, but I am not sure I can fully grasp some kind-of psychedelic adaptation of people vanishing into thin air, but I guess I will try to take the time to read it soon. I have a new book waiting for me at the library that I have been wanting to read and another book that I downloaded that is from a new author that I thoroughly researched before considering. Yep, my simple habit of grabbing a book to read.... any book.... is now requiring a thorough research of writing style, genre, and use of language. That last book was definitely an eye opener for me.
Well, off to get some laundry done, and do a little housework while reading a few chapters of a new book for me to read. I hope you all have a wonderful day and thanks for reading....
Apparently, my insatiable need to read more has not slowed down over this past year..... Yep, it has been a year that I started this reading jag of sorts. I lost count after 200 books and I have even accidentally rechecked out books that I have read from the library. Luckily, I have started writing reviews of books that I have read on Amazon, just to keep track, that is. I happen to have quite a few books that I have reread because I enjoyed them so much.
What concerns me is the recent incident that I purchased a book (for $1.99), was not exactly my cup o' tea. I happen to enjoy contemporary fiction, chick-lit, and even in some cases... romance novels. With the notion that people read what they lack coming to mind... it is obvious that I lack a serious case of what others would call "the warm fuzzies". Nope, not a lot of that warm, fuzzy, and even sometimes dramatic filled sappy crap that I thought I could live without through literature happening in my life. Honestly, I am okay that I am not looked upon lovingly or have a person feel that they have the strong need to protect me from the dangers out there. It was something I never really felt was important to me, but would like to have happen to me from time to time. So with my choice to marry a man that made me laugh and has a serious lack of the romance gene.... it is really nobody else's fault but my own that I have what I happen to have. While deep down inside, I wished that love actually grew with the person you are with... I now know better.
Well, this recent purchase of this book gave me the notion that it was something I would enjoy (a romantic book of sorts with an athlete/sport backdrop like football, hockey, or baseball).... I was painfully far from that assumption. Was this book a contemporary work of fiction? Not really. Was it a romance novel? Kind of, if you can look at it with your head tilted and you squint your eyes. Was it in the genre of Chick-lit? Heck no. Nope, my insatiable need to read something ended up in a purchase of a book in a different, albeit uncomfortable genre of..... erotica.
Holy Sh-nikes Batman!!! Pretty brutal language printed on those pages!! This book lacked the drama of 50 Shades of Grey, but was spot on with the make-a-woman blush and feel the need to read this in a closet use of words that I needed a cold shower after reading it. What I did manage to find worthy of a story line was painfully weak, but it got very high ratings on Amazon.com. I apparently forgot to look at the book information that tells you the genre of which this book fits into and the forewarned mention to having very strong language. Little did I know that erotica books can slip into the genre of romance in the eyes of such a large company like Amazon. Heck, the publishers of the book made this story seem more light and airy than what it really was. That has to be the reason it slipped into a genre that it obviously was not as an option to read. I now know better, but whew! That was a little unsettling for me to read. Kudos to those that loved this book. I can only gather that they have a stronger need than I do for stuff like that. I never thought I could feel that uncomfortable reading a book, but now I know.
I have made myself a promise that I will be more thorough in selecting any future books. I have one book a client of mine brought for me to read. It is not in the genres I lean towards, but his reasoning is to try to help me shy away from getting burnt out in the current genre that I have been in. He sells books for a living and highly recommends it, but I am not sure I can fully grasp some kind-of psychedelic adaptation of people vanishing into thin air, but I guess I will try to take the time to read it soon. I have a new book waiting for me at the library that I have been wanting to read and another book that I downloaded that is from a new author that I thoroughly researched before considering. Yep, my simple habit of grabbing a book to read.... any book.... is now requiring a thorough research of writing style, genre, and use of language. That last book was definitely an eye opener for me.
Well, off to get some laundry done, and do a little housework while reading a few chapters of a new book for me to read. I hope you all have a wonderful day and thanks for reading....
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
If it is only that easy....
Morning! Today's installment of "flossing" comes to you from....
"Really? (scratching my head)... and you think that is gonna work?"
Okay, I will try to be brief with this since I am aching everywhere from yesterday's 4 rounds of shoveling the white nightmare that others would call "snow". On a lighter note from that.... I do not think I will be needing to hit the gym for the rest of the week. Everything is worked into agony, thank you very much.
Lets begin... shall we?
DH's most recent visit to the doctor for his preventative care which consists of a few tests (blood, weigh-in, listen with a stethoscope, check blood pressure, and chat of when he is to return again), resulted in being told that he needs to lose 10 pounds to get his cholesterol in check. Otherwise, he is a picture of health. According to the doctor, he has slightly elevated cholesterol numbers and with the last round of taking a cholesterol medication to get his numbers down ended up affecting his liver oh, so slightly... he was promptly taken off the cholesterol medication. According to this doctor, losing 10 pounds will fix his cholesterol situation, but probably does not factor in that there is a family history of issues and this problem is most likely genetic instead of diet related. Of course, I am not a doctor and DH refuses to have me involved with his doctor appointments to speak my mind (since I am apparently so opinionated, HA), so I need to accept what is said and trust that DH is serious about his health as well as trust that the doctor is making the best judgement call for his health. My only responsibility is to prepare healthy meals that should benefit his health and say nothing else. Trust me... that is one tall order since he is such a picky eater.
While walking through the grocery store just a few days ago, I watched DH avoid his usual weekly snack of chips or nuts. He is the only person I know that is strict when it comes to portion control and can make a bag of Doritos last a week, and I wondered what that was all about. It was then I was told that he needs to lose 10 pounds before his next doctor's visit to see if that would solve his cholesterol issue, that in his eyes is minor at best. All I thought was..... Really? Just that one minuscule change in your eating is going to get you to lose 10 pounds and rectify the situation? Heck, if it is that easy.... think of all the other issues (non-health related, of course), you can solve! You, sir, are a genius!! Now, to get him to expand that picture just a little and see if it could work....
If giving up one thing to make another thing better is the solution... then why is it so difficult for him to take that idea and apply it to the communication issues we have, the arguments he starts, and the complaints that he seems to have an endless supply of? How about expanding that just a bit more to how he manages to hurt my feelings and treats me in an unappreciative way when he has "just a few beers" on a Friday night? If the solution is so simple, then why has he not bothered with at least trying?
Here are some prime examples.... When he complains that he has no clean socks, he could go with the easy solution and put his darn dirty socks in the hamper for me to take and wash for him instead of leaving them on the floor by his side of the bed. When he gets frustrated that there is a dish in the sink, he could go the easy route and think that his wife has plenty to deal with and just wash that darn offensive dish in the sink for her. Or when he sees his wife in near tears over feeling unappreciated, he could go the easy route and do something nice just for her to make her feel better than bark the ever-so-famous "what crawled up your ass today" comment or even the one that hurts even more than that.... "that is just stupid thinking" when I try to share my feelings or an idea to be helpful. Heck, a random act of kindness can be the solution... as long as it was coming from the heart and not told to do so from someone else. I understand that the days of wooing the one you love pretty much ends the day you marry the person, but just showing that you appreciate them goes so much farther than a trinket or flowers on the usual quasi holidays of birthday, anniversary, and Christmas (and this does not include the Hallmark of holidays of Sweetest Day or Valentines Day).
I can only assume that the simplicity of the plan is actually doing a little something to change the outcome, and you have to have the desire to actually do something about it. Darn shame that it took a doctor to get DH to try a little harder for his health, but where is the intervening force that gets him to do something for the someone that does so much for him willingly and without question... I really do not know. The few moments of offering something that can be given freely (like holding my hand while taking an evening stroll), while inconsistent, were ideas forwarded to him by people that apparently have more influence on him than myself... and that leaves everyone except myself in that demographic. Pretty sad, don't you think? That simple solutions end up being used as bargaining chips when it only benefits themselves. That hand holding scenario happened only once because he wanted to drag me along on one of his evening walks. That hug I nagged for while being goofy in the grocery store was too embarrassing for him to even try. Public displays of affection are just to yucky in his opinion and are discouraged.
Well, time to pop more Advil. I feel a headache coming on and the last dose is wearing off for the body aches from shoveling sloppy, heavy snow all day yesterday. Have a good day everyone!
"Really? (scratching my head)... and you think that is gonna work?"
Okay, I will try to be brief with this since I am aching everywhere from yesterday's 4 rounds of shoveling the white nightmare that others would call "snow". On a lighter note from that.... I do not think I will be needing to hit the gym for the rest of the week. Everything is worked into agony, thank you very much.
Lets begin... shall we?
DH's most recent visit to the doctor for his preventative care which consists of a few tests (blood, weigh-in, listen with a stethoscope, check blood pressure, and chat of when he is to return again), resulted in being told that he needs to lose 10 pounds to get his cholesterol in check. Otherwise, he is a picture of health. According to the doctor, he has slightly elevated cholesterol numbers and with the last round of taking a cholesterol medication to get his numbers down ended up affecting his liver oh, so slightly... he was promptly taken off the cholesterol medication. According to this doctor, losing 10 pounds will fix his cholesterol situation, but probably does not factor in that there is a family history of issues and this problem is most likely genetic instead of diet related. Of course, I am not a doctor and DH refuses to have me involved with his doctor appointments to speak my mind (since I am apparently so opinionated, HA), so I need to accept what is said and trust that DH is serious about his health as well as trust that the doctor is making the best judgement call for his health. My only responsibility is to prepare healthy meals that should benefit his health and say nothing else. Trust me... that is one tall order since he is such a picky eater.
While walking through the grocery store just a few days ago, I watched DH avoid his usual weekly snack of chips or nuts. He is the only person I know that is strict when it comes to portion control and can make a bag of Doritos last a week, and I wondered what that was all about. It was then I was told that he needs to lose 10 pounds before his next doctor's visit to see if that would solve his cholesterol issue, that in his eyes is minor at best. All I thought was..... Really? Just that one minuscule change in your eating is going to get you to lose 10 pounds and rectify the situation? Heck, if it is that easy.... think of all the other issues (non-health related, of course), you can solve! You, sir, are a genius!! Now, to get him to expand that picture just a little and see if it could work....
If giving up one thing to make another thing better is the solution... then why is it so difficult for him to take that idea and apply it to the communication issues we have, the arguments he starts, and the complaints that he seems to have an endless supply of? How about expanding that just a bit more to how he manages to hurt my feelings and treats me in an unappreciative way when he has "just a few beers" on a Friday night? If the solution is so simple, then why has he not bothered with at least trying?
Here are some prime examples.... When he complains that he has no clean socks, he could go with the easy solution and put his darn dirty socks in the hamper for me to take and wash for him instead of leaving them on the floor by his side of the bed. When he gets frustrated that there is a dish in the sink, he could go the easy route and think that his wife has plenty to deal with and just wash that darn offensive dish in the sink for her. Or when he sees his wife in near tears over feeling unappreciated, he could go the easy route and do something nice just for her to make her feel better than bark the ever-so-famous "what crawled up your ass today" comment or even the one that hurts even more than that.... "that is just stupid thinking" when I try to share my feelings or an idea to be helpful. Heck, a random act of kindness can be the solution... as long as it was coming from the heart and not told to do so from someone else. I understand that the days of wooing the one you love pretty much ends the day you marry the person, but just showing that you appreciate them goes so much farther than a trinket or flowers on the usual quasi holidays of birthday, anniversary, and Christmas (and this does not include the Hallmark of holidays of Sweetest Day or Valentines Day).
I can only assume that the simplicity of the plan is actually doing a little something to change the outcome, and you have to have the desire to actually do something about it. Darn shame that it took a doctor to get DH to try a little harder for his health, but where is the intervening force that gets him to do something for the someone that does so much for him willingly and without question... I really do not know. The few moments of offering something that can be given freely (like holding my hand while taking an evening stroll), while inconsistent, were ideas forwarded to him by people that apparently have more influence on him than myself... and that leaves everyone except myself in that demographic. Pretty sad, don't you think? That simple solutions end up being used as bargaining chips when it only benefits themselves. That hand holding scenario happened only once because he wanted to drag me along on one of his evening walks. That hug I nagged for while being goofy in the grocery store was too embarrassing for him to even try. Public displays of affection are just to yucky in his opinion and are discouraged.
Well, time to pop more Advil. I feel a headache coming on and the last dose is wearing off for the body aches from shoveling sloppy, heavy snow all day yesterday. Have a good day everyone!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Obviously not a morning person.....
I am usually a happy person.... Well, that statement is true. I am a happy person most of the time. That is because in my house, I have a routine that masks my true fault..... I am not a morning person for the first 30 minutes or so. If I get my morning routine, I am pretty talented at pushing the negative thoughts to another part of my brain to deal with them at a later time when I am alone. Both DD and DH know this first hand. Since I am not a coffee drinker and I avoid caffeine like the plague most of the time, I just require a little quiet time to acclimate to the start of a new day and then I am basically that calm and smiling person that people see every day. Trust me.... it takes a lot of work to get this way when I live in a house with a pair of morning people that feel the need to talk once their eyes open and even more challenging when these same two people test my patience as the day moves forward. I pretty much have the control of emotions down to a science.
Well, this morning was just another of the many that test my patience... and it really had nothing to do with the people in my house. Okay, I will admit, it had a little to do with my less than stellar morning attitude. At least I had the resolve to mask my dislike of not getting my 30 minutes of peace and quiet with sarcasm and a few choice moments to growl with a pained smile on my face.
I was up half the night with a back spasm that decided to rear it's ugly head at me. Rolling out of bed at 3:00 this morning was not my plan for a restful night of sleep, but it is part of life. With the randomness of these spasms, I am capable of handling them remotely fine even though I would rather not have back spasms to begin with.
I rolled out of bed and practically crawled my achy self (with a pillow and blanket in tow), down the stairs and straight to my bottle of Tylenol (since it is the easiest one to find in the dark in my half awake state). Then, I open the freezer for a bag of frozen peas to wedge upon my back once I hit the couch in our down stairs family room. Out of all the places to sit in my house.... that spot offers the most comfort in my healing routine so I can fall back asleep. The idea of frozen peas happened one late night when I could not find one of the many ice packs I have in the freezer and learned rather quickly it works far better than the ice pack because it stays cold longer. Since DH and DD are not fans of eating peas.... it is a guarantee that I have a bag in my freezer when I need it. Darn shame I have picky eaters in my house, but the silver lining is that I will always have something to ice down my back. Not sure how this bag of peas is holding up since it has been thawed and refrozen at least a half dozen times so far, but it is my go-to bag of frozen relief. (Note to self: need a new bag of frozen peas on the next grocery shopping trip).
Somewhere an hour or so after said spasm, I fell asleep. Quite a feat when you numb your spine with something frozen, but there you have it..... a small reprieve in my terrible sleep patterns. After getting a couple more hours of sleep, I wake up realizing that I am disrupting DH's morning routine of laying on that couch to watch the morning news before he leaves for work. The family room being the lowest point in the house.... you can watch TV without waking the rest of the family. Guilt flowing through me, I get up and do my best of looking like I had my 30 minutes of quiet time to greet DH with at least a "good morning", and a "have a nice day at work". Only to be greeted with his frustration that the local news announced an estimated 4 to 10 inches of snow coming our way tomorrow.
I growled....
Then, I cursed the darn groundhog that supposedly predicted an early Spring.... quietly. (stupid, lying rodent)
So much for faking my happiness of the morning.
With the look in my eyes appearing to look bordering on murderous, DH leaves rather quickly for work. In fact, he was not expected to leave for another 15 minutes. He knew what was going on..... I did not get my 30 minutes of peace and quiet done yet.
Apparently, the memo got to DD, too. She high-tailed it out of the house early for the morning bus to school while my back was turned. Not saying a word.... she vanished.
I popped a couple more Tylenol, changed my shirt (it was wet from the thawing bag of peas I had on my back), made myself some breakfast and got more than 30 minutes of quiet time. Ah.... silver lining after all :)
Now I get to tackle some laundry and housework.
Oh, by the way..... I had a laugh that brought tears to my eyes last night. Long story short, I embarrassed DD all day yesterday... starting with hugging her in public at the grocery store, then to gross her out with pretending I scratched my backside to make what we call "stinky hand" and then asked her to help me up by holding out the accused stinky hand. The look on her face was priceless! Still laughing about that one. I chased her with the stinky hand and she turned around to chase me with a bottle of hand sanitizer. DH shook his head in embarrassment with a smirk on his face. Apparently, he could not suppress a smile from the off the wall antics I was pulling.
Well, this work is not going to get done on its own..... Have a good day everyone :)
Well, this morning was just another of the many that test my patience... and it really had nothing to do with the people in my house. Okay, I will admit, it had a little to do with my less than stellar morning attitude. At least I had the resolve to mask my dislike of not getting my 30 minutes of peace and quiet with sarcasm and a few choice moments to growl with a pained smile on my face.
I was up half the night with a back spasm that decided to rear it's ugly head at me. Rolling out of bed at 3:00 this morning was not my plan for a restful night of sleep, but it is part of life. With the randomness of these spasms, I am capable of handling them remotely fine even though I would rather not have back spasms to begin with.
I rolled out of bed and practically crawled my achy self (with a pillow and blanket in tow), down the stairs and straight to my bottle of Tylenol (since it is the easiest one to find in the dark in my half awake state). Then, I open the freezer for a bag of frozen peas to wedge upon my back once I hit the couch in our down stairs family room. Out of all the places to sit in my house.... that spot offers the most comfort in my healing routine so I can fall back asleep. The idea of frozen peas happened one late night when I could not find one of the many ice packs I have in the freezer and learned rather quickly it works far better than the ice pack because it stays cold longer. Since DH and DD are not fans of eating peas.... it is a guarantee that I have a bag in my freezer when I need it. Darn shame I have picky eaters in my house, but the silver lining is that I will always have something to ice down my back. Not sure how this bag of peas is holding up since it has been thawed and refrozen at least a half dozen times so far, but it is my go-to bag of frozen relief. (Note to self: need a new bag of frozen peas on the next grocery shopping trip).
Somewhere an hour or so after said spasm, I fell asleep. Quite a feat when you numb your spine with something frozen, but there you have it..... a small reprieve in my terrible sleep patterns. After getting a couple more hours of sleep, I wake up realizing that I am disrupting DH's morning routine of laying on that couch to watch the morning news before he leaves for work. The family room being the lowest point in the house.... you can watch TV without waking the rest of the family. Guilt flowing through me, I get up and do my best of looking like I had my 30 minutes of quiet time to greet DH with at least a "good morning", and a "have a nice day at work". Only to be greeted with his frustration that the local news announced an estimated 4 to 10 inches of snow coming our way tomorrow.
I growled....
Then, I cursed the darn groundhog that supposedly predicted an early Spring.... quietly. (stupid, lying rodent)
So much for faking my happiness of the morning.
With the look in my eyes appearing to look bordering on murderous, DH leaves rather quickly for work. In fact, he was not expected to leave for another 15 minutes. He knew what was going on..... I did not get my 30 minutes of peace and quiet done yet.
Apparently, the memo got to DD, too. She high-tailed it out of the house early for the morning bus to school while my back was turned. Not saying a word.... she vanished.
I popped a couple more Tylenol, changed my shirt (it was wet from the thawing bag of peas I had on my back), made myself some breakfast and got more than 30 minutes of quiet time. Ah.... silver lining after all :)
Now I get to tackle some laundry and housework.
Oh, by the way..... I had a laugh that brought tears to my eyes last night. Long story short, I embarrassed DD all day yesterday... starting with hugging her in public at the grocery store, then to gross her out with pretending I scratched my backside to make what we call "stinky hand" and then asked her to help me up by holding out the accused stinky hand. The look on her face was priceless! Still laughing about that one. I chased her with the stinky hand and she turned around to chase me with a bottle of hand sanitizer. DH shook his head in embarrassment with a smirk on his face. Apparently, he could not suppress a smile from the off the wall antics I was pulling.
Well, this work is not going to get done on its own..... Have a good day everyone :)
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