Second blog in one day.... yep, a worthy topic to floss about because it is causing me a major headache so, I am just gonna jump in, okay?
This morning, DD made the request for me to call her doctor to see if they can call in a prescription for an inhaler. Her reactive airway issue (also known as asthma), is flaring up. The weather changing so often beings on an irritation to her lungs. Honestly, this happens only twice a year, but we have been controlling it quite well. It just happened to be that time to step up our game and get the inhaled steroid when the weather fluctuates between rain, snow, frigid temps to warm temperatures. Heck, a healthy person with allergies is starting to suffer, so we were prepared for it. With allergy medicine at the ready (for her allergies), we did need to consider getting back on the steroids for a short period of time to avoid the need for an ER visit. We just cannot afford that kind-of monstrosity of a bill to pay.
I informed DD that this type of request will require a doctor visit and she was okay with it. So it was safe to say that she was in dire need to step up her routine. Well, I called the doctor's office after she left to catch the bus for school. Knowing I was right about the office visit, I followed protocol and talked to the nurse prior to my prescription refill request. Apparently, we missed having her annual physical and she was due for a round of shots... oh joy... so, in order to kill two birds with one stone (and save some money when it comes to the insurance co-pay that we shell out), I got an appointment for 1:30 this afternoon. I called the school to inform them that DD was going to be pulled from school for a doctor's appointment and will be missing her last two classes for the day. Thinking I had all my ducks in a row... I went to pick up DD from school at the time I mentioned to find out that they forgot to hand her a pass to go to the office at the time I was to arrive to pick her up. That was the beginning for the catastrophe that I ended up dealing with.
Upon DD's arrival to the office, she was furious with me. She did not plan for the doctor's appointment to happen while school was in session. I calmly handled that tantrum with a smile and got her in my truck. We got to the doctor's office on time and had to fill out yet again more paperwork (which I see is a total waste of trees since our insurance info has not changed and we have not moved since our last visit). With DD throwing daggers from her eyes at me, I jokingly asked if the doctor can remove the stick in DD's backside. At least the nurses had a laugh. We were promptly sent to an examination room and the nurse proceeded to do DD's physical (taking her temperature, getting her weight, checking her blood pressure and even achieved the in-office eye exam). We waited for the doctor for about a half hour and once the doctor appeared, she proceeded to do all the other routine things for a physical and then she just had to ask DD if she could be suffering depression. REALLY?? She is a teenager and not a PhD in psychology and should not be diagnosing herself something like that. But as I sat there and listened to DD mention that she thinks she is suffering depression. Well, that perked the doctor right up. Then this college educated person asks some very pointed questions that a teenager would say for added attention, but would be taken to the literal sense... apparently, DD thought of hurting herself from time to time. What the doctor never asked was if she actually considered a way of doing such a thing. If she did.... she would have come to the same conclusion as I did (and later a mental health practitioner)... DD is not suicidal, she just needed an outlet to vent.
Yep, my simple routine physical for DD resulted in a standoff with the doctor AND a direct trip to the ER for a psychological evaluation. Apparently, DD's mention of never actually following through with any thought of suicide because she has a serious issue with seeing blood, has a painfully low level of pain tolerance and believes that suicide is NOT the answer was not good enough for the good old doctor. She wanted a pound of my flesh and an even bigger gouge to the checkbook, she held DD and I in that examination room for 2 hours to have us agree to go to the ER and get a psychological evaluation. While her demands were reasonable (if I did not actually know my child), I had a really hard time grasping the concept that regardless of what I happen to know and what DD repeated over and over again... this woman refused to listen to reason. I did agree, though, that it would be beneficial that DD has someone other than her family or friends to talk to about things she feels is a cause to be upset over and learn from this outside person how to gain the essential tools to handle depressing and/or stressful situations because children will get depressed from time to time over trivial things. I just did not see it being necessary to drag her off to the hospital immediately to have someone pick her brain. I saw this as her having a bad day and I was more than willing to talk to her about it because I am attentive to her needs at all times and I look out for potential calls for help. Trust me.... I am no moron! I do have a clue!! I watch my child like a hawk, but I refuse to drill into her to make her cry like this doctor. DD was upset with me and she was acting overly dramatic to try to get her way. Calling DD's bluff was enough of a swift kick in the backside for her to realize that words cause actions.... regardless if she means it or not. Watching her stammer her words and try to get out of getting a psych evaluation was proof that her attitude was more driven for dramatic attention than an actual cry for help. I knew it, but the doctor refused to see it or even consider reason from it. I understand that people need to be overly cautious, but this was ridiculous!
While all this was going on in the doctor's office (the initial standoff, that is), the doctor insisted to call DH and inform him of the apparent unbalance of DD's state and her need to get a psychological evaluation.... THEN this woman hands me the phone to talk to DH about how much this evaluation was going to cost. I really did not need to hear his exasperated voice telling me what I already knew and that just the idea of spending an additional $150 over the $30 co-pay for this could quite possibly push us to put the house up for sale and we would have to move because we just cannot afford such extravagances. I did my best to not let the doctor know that I was being yelled at over the phone and managed to reason with DH that this was for DD's benefit. Of course, I knew he was going to agree to let me take her in to be evaluated, but was reminding me that he is not happy that we had to waste money we did not have to prove a point to this determined doctor. Trust me... when we did finally do everything that this doctor asked for and picked up her prescription... we just spent a total of $260 in roughly 5 hours (a $30 co-pay to see the doctor, $150 co-pay to the ER for the evaluation, and $80 for her prescription refills of an inhaler and an inhaled steroid)... That worked out to $52 an hour being spent... far more than what DH and myself can earn an hour combined. Then, of course, we will still get a bill from the hospital after out insurance will not pay for the psychological evaluation that resulted in a diagnosis of suffering an inability to adapt to a new environment and a list of psychology counselors that charge roughly $50 an hour to say uh-huh at random moments and ask "how do you feel about it". Heck, during the evaluation (that both DD and I talked to different people in separate rooms), I was asked what I thought and how I would like to treat this situation. Really?? They have the college degrees and I am making decisions for the welfare of my child? Makes me scratch my head. The talk I had with DD for the ride home solved a majority of her problems and that actually costs our pocketbook a big, fat ZERO! Well, at least DD got some stuff off her chest, she is in a better mood, and I get to deal with the wrath of DH when it comes to that waste of money being spent. She now knows that it really does not need to cost $150 in a co-pay to talk to her mom about her problems first. Darn shame we could not turn the hands of time to save us that blow to the pocketbook, but you know.... hindsight is 20/20. She got to understand that everyone suffers a little depression from time to time, but as long as you try to not let it keep you down.... you will be just fine in the end. In fact... you become a little stronger in the process. I should know.... I am walking proof that even if I get knocked down repeatedly (of which it happens often), I will keep getting up. I may resort to crying alone and occasionally screaming in solitude, but I keep trying to move forward and make life bearable. Call it conformity, call it acceptance... I see it as dealing with what life offers the best I possibly can. Even if I have to resort to blogging about my feelings... I do what I can to let go the negativity and look forward for better things to come.
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