Oh, for all that is holy on this land..... WHY?!??!?

Oh, I love my family... Oh, yes I do.  No matter how annoying they tend to be, no matter how many times I want to smack them up the side of the head, no matter how embarrassing they can be.... I love them.  I have to keep reminding myself that because their little hobby of driving me nuts has become an art form.  Let me share a little tidbit of what I am experiencing that makes me just shake my head and sigh.  I do guarantee you that if someone asks me if they are with me... I just might deny knowing them (just kidding)... or am I ;)

Sundays are "family days".  The day starts off with making breakfast.  Ya know, I think if I did not know how to cook... they would starve.  Sadly, their picky nature is no reward for the weary.  I am the short order chef in this house.  No two people like their eggs made the same way.  Well, after breakfast, I get the notepad and a pen out... it is grocery shopping day... oh joy...  We figure out what we like to have for dinner and I have to figure how to make it healthy (or something like that) because I am the only one on a diet in this house.  Once the meals for the week are decided, we go about the house, checking if there is anything else we need... you know, laundry soap, TP, etc..  Usually, while I am getting the list together, DH does the dishes for me... of course, it is under duress, because you can hear the sighing from across the room.  Basically, it is that silent statement that somehow he always washes the dishes, when in fact, I do them all the time.  Just helping me once a week puts him into actor mode that I overwork him with household chores.... Oh, the drama.  As DH is busy at the sink and I am busy making the grocery list, DD thinks it is still summer and wears a tank top and skort (a skirt with shorts) as her choice of clothing to go to church in.  Who cares it is only 53 degrees outside, right?  As I ask her to change, she throws a fit and DH chimes in with a sarcastic, "can't we all just get along?"

We pile up into the car to go to church, DD refused to change and somehow forgot to get her coat on as we rush off to church.  DH taunts DD with a key chain that lights up and DD starts sing some version of the childhood song, "the wheels on the bus", but with some delusional thought that her father is going to give her the intended lighted key chain fondly called, "horseshoe light".  That annoying little version of the song gets stuck in my head and next thing, I am humming a melody to it... yep, I think I have Stockholm Syndrome and my IQ dropped 10 points.

As we finally make it to church, we find a seat and I figure all is well...  We made it in one piece.  Sadly, DD is whining that she would rather play on the computer than be there and DH looks like he is actually praying, but is actually looking for burnt out light bulbs.  Total embarrassment to me, but hey, I got them there, right?  As I pray for strength to deal with this pair of goofballs, mass finally ends... I guess God did not hear my pleas because they are back at it in the parking lot... goofy song, annoying little light up thing, and the weekly report of how many burnt out light bulbs were there this week.

We make it to the car and we are off again....  Grocery shopping... oh joy...  With list in hand, we get to the store.  DH acts all excited and asks me what kind of cheese samples they just might have this week. DD grunts in disgust about her fathers insatiable appetite for cheese, I just shake my head and trudge forward.  Yep, I am a mother to not 1 child, but 2.  As the kids argue over who is gonna push the cart, I am holding a fair amount of fresh vegetables in my hands, waiting for them to catch up.  DH decides to attempt at embarrassing DD with shouting, "wow, that's a low price" randomly through the store, then starts complaining that food is getting too expensive.  I get the threat that premium meats and vegetables have their days numbered as he thinks we can live on hot dogs and mac'n cheese.  Just the thought is giving me the feeling that  weight loss is a pipe dream.... Darn economy!  After all the items on our list is checked off.....we pay and head back home.

I get some help in getting our groceries in the house, but it is up to me to put it all away, that is, after they fish out their snack choice.  The rest of the day is filled with banter and DH's excitement for this junk that DD made him order from a catalog.  Regardless that the order was mailed out a day ago, he thinks it will magically appear in the mailbox at any time.  He is enjoying the continuous demand to check the mailbox AGAIN as I am starting to lose my cool...  My selective hearing is broken, I am hearing everything.  DD starts singing again and the banter becomes continuous....  Just can't wait for Monday to come along... distance makes the heart grow fonder, ya know.

I just wonder why they feel compelled to drive me batty....  KIDS!