Good morning. As I yet again swallow down another prescribed "horse pill" sized antibiotic I started to ponder on a very large and broad picture of things. I even took the time to look back at my blog posts and realized something along the way..... Life is what you get from it. There is no secret to eternal happiness, there is no magic pill to correct imperfections, and what we are willing to take from the experiences we have are the learning tools that make us stronger.
Think about it... If we never got our heart broken, we never would have known what love is. If we were never played the fool, we would have never learned that we can be vulnerable. If we never laughed, cried or got angry, we would have never experienced emotions. If we never took chances, we would never learn. While all the bumps, bruises, broken bones, cuts and scrapes are our remembrances of living life, we at times tend to overlook the journeys we have taken. You know, the ones that made us think.
As this journey of my blogging began, I was seeking an outlet for bottled up thoughts and concerns. I have had a great track record of being a good listener, but never an eloquent speaker. I lack the talent to write sarcasm well, I tend to over think things, and I am capable of making small things into something bigger than it really is. Well, that and I seem to explain things a little deeper than necessary. What I saw as my own personal little Hell was nothing more than what every person manages to experience somewhere in their life. Struggles and strife are what everyone goes through. While there are some that managed to perfect the smoke and mirrors effect to make it seem that life is just a bowl of pit-less cherries, there are others that stand with the tried and true rule that parents have passed down from generation to generation.... If you have nothing nice or positive to say, then say nothing. I somehow have managed to fail miserably in hiding feelings. I look at myself as this is who I am... love me or leave. I am generous to a fault, I care deeper than most, and I always look for the good in every person I meet. I can be opinionated, but never take my own advice. Some days I am a ticking time bomb of emotions while others I just really cannot think of constructing a simple sentence. I even am the most willing victim of taking the blame even if it is not my fault. What I do appreciate is that there are people that believe that I have a talent and enjoy what I write about. In fact, I have noticed that people actually like to have me around... faults and all.
So as I write this, I am recalling some things that apparently I am a slow learner at.... That "I win, you lose" game was the one on the top of my list. I find it comical that it has been stated that this is a game best played by women. In all honesty, if that is true... I found some incredibly talented men that play that game better than I could have ever imagined to play. While things like that gave me major moments of "ah ha", I have to admit that my "tomboy" tendencies put me ahead of the curve when it comes to trying to communicate with men. I seem more apt to see the reason between their two modes of communicating with women... "fix it" or "defend their actions". While men admit that their inner workings are far less complex than women's, it baffles women anyway. We never tend to take what they say as their honesty. I should know... I have that same mentality when people talk to me. It usually takes me a few moments to figure if this person is venting or needing my assistance. Sadly, I lost the ability to wait when it comes to DH and his random rants, thus causing yet another rift in our communication dynamic when my choice of action is the wrong one. Also, looking back at my youth, I never thought of being in a relationship as long as I have been in with DH. We are almost embarking on 16 years together and 14 of them married. As we all know, marriage is a major commitment that takes more effort compared to a dating relationship. Some days, I actually miss the simplicity of dating, but not the lulls in the dating scene. I find it comical that my first experience of being in a rebound relationship resulted in me getting married. I never would have figured that to happen. No complaints that I did get married... well, not as many as I can see to scare people into never getting married.
So for those that still seem to be on the quest for the meaning of life... Take a step back and look around. Even look within yourself. The meaning of life is what we make of it. What we do with it is our personal choice. Yes, there will be disappointments, there will be challenges too big to tackle, there will be moments of wonderment, but there are also moments we learn from. We just need to take the time to focus on our own big picture.
Thanks for reading...
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