As you all are well aware, I have been struggling with the one thing that every woman struggles with.... their weight. The tomboy in me is kicking the girly side of me for breaking my promise to avoid blogging on my mental floss blog about my journey of shortcomings when it comes to following, or at least trying to adhere to, the Weight Watchers lifestyle. My inner saboteur has been playing a mighty strong hand in stalling that evil scale from going in the direction I want it to go.... DOWN! Probably because I am having a hard time accepting that there are some blessed people that have zero weight issues and can eat anything and never think twice about it. I know that there are plenty of people that are silently working on their own weight demons, but can still have just about anything to eat and still succeed.
The Weight Watchers lifestyle consists of living by a plan that albeit is flexible, is very controlled. Food scales, measuring devises and a value for every food is in place. While fruits and vegetables (well, most of them) are called "free foods", there is a lot of planning that comes to play to figure what point values are and how many of those points are allowed to be eaten. You see, each individual is given a number to follow.... This is called their "daily points" that they are required to eat. Supposedly, this is to teach you where your limitations are. Now, since the program is flexible in your choices, you are strongly urged to make the right choices... whatever they may be. That is where I am really sabotaging like a pro. I have followed the plan like a pro for the first month or so and fell off the WW (aka Weight Watcher) wagon. The last time I looked in the mirror, I was not a rabbit. I am so sick of fruits and vegetables that when the family weekly grocery shopping trip comes about, I cringe in the fresh produce section. These are my "free" foods and are strongly urged to be consumed daily (5 servings a day minimum) and I am running out of ideas to convince me that this is what I should be craving instead of chocolate.... yeah, right (in my most of sarcastic of tone)! Now, since the plan is flexible, I am not denied anything, so I can have chocolate, but am I willing to sacrifice the points? Being a borderline hypoglycemic person, I cannot starve myself for the sake that I wasted 6 points on a little candy bar, so I deny myself the candy bar. Healthy food is not as appealing as convenience stuff, so there is another notch against the WW way.
Being the professional saboteur, I found yet a few other roadblocks that have derailed my WW journey... The economy, picky eaters (DD and DH), and my back. The economy makes it real hard to buy what I need to eat because my picky eaters refuse to join me on a healthier journey and it will rot before I get to consume it all and not totally hate it by the end of the week. DD and DH's menu choices make it hard to eat anything really different and healthy since their main staples are cheese, processed meat, pasta and potatoes. My back as been the constant reminder that going to the gym while dealing with a back spasm so mild that I can function from day to day is taking a risk that I will end up in traction. So basically, I have hit the point that I hate food, I have virtually no correct options to work with that offer variety to interest me to eat, and lazy tendencies out of fear that pushing just a little bit will land me in a back brace. Then, of course, just add on the female DNA issue of wanting to get to my goal weight yesterday, irregardless that I have a long way to go nagging my every thought. Mix in the winter blues, the holidays we cannot afford, and there you have it... a ticking time bomb of self destruction. Stress eating was my only escape, but I have resorted back to nail biting, too.... Just waiting for me to explode because imploding is no longer an option...HA HA HA!!
Well, I did step on the scale this morning and that darn time of the month is due to commence because I am bloated, thus creating another little gain on the scale. I just hate to go in to get weighed at WW on a bloating week. Their sunny disposition makes me want to go postal and their "Oh" comment makes me want to cry. I do have to face it because my life is far from perfect and gaining weight is what I am best at apparently. I just hate being a stress eater when thing do not go my way.... Just another reason to crave that darn chocolate! UGH!
Well, off to face the
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