Good morning! The weekend is almost over in my book and then it is back to the hustle and bustle of what the week has to offer. The last couple of weeks were interesting. I learned yet another lesson...
I am not a superhero, but I seem to act like one quite well for my family. The fairly recent events of heads butting and feeling like I had the rug ripped out from under me are starting to become nothing less than a memory. Family life is improving, on the surface, and I seemed to have weathered yet another storm. When the old saying goes... "what does not kill us, makes us stronger", we tend to not see the relevance until things are put to the test. Little did I know that what I saw were my feeble attempts to smoothing over the collision that DD and DH had were actually not feeble at all. In fact, they were successful on improving the dynamic of our dysfunctional family. You see, we tend to have an issue when it comes to communication of feelings. When something bothers us, we hold it in until there is a breaking point. When that point hits, it has potential for poor judgement and is capable of creating destruction in its wake.
Now, while we have not perfected the system we have when it comes to communication, we seem to have a better grasp on handling the stress release that causes people to freak out and make the challenge we will continue to face bearable until the outside forces finally ease. The financial status is still strained, but there is a better understanding that facing things like that alone is far worse than trying to survive them together. All it takes is just a little appreciation for what is done so far and acknowledge that the sacrifices need to be done by all.
While, I will admit I have been pretty calm and non-confrontational through all of this... It has been brought to my attention that I lack strong reaction skills. Hearing raw emotion over financial concerns from DH and the thought that parting ways might offer some financial relief, albeit a poor excuse to divide a family, should have caused for me to completely freak out, but it didn't. As people have asked me why I seem so calm over something like that, I realized that my ability to overcome the urge to react as others would think I should comes from being desensitized.... or it is some twisted form of Stockholm syndrome. I see that the track record of a little over 4 years of the same issues, the same inability to effectively communicate, and the different views of how to resolve the situation, is what a person can say is nothing less than continual exposure that, while at first, would react as expected, becomes nothing less than something you become accustomed to. Kind of like exposing children to seeing violence and noticing that your child in today's age is far less affected than when we were children. You see it on TV, you see it in video games and you hear about it on the news.
Mild violence was the gateway to becoming more tolerant to the animal like nature of man. Remember the Saturday morning cartoons growing up? Bugs Bunny, the Roadrunner, Donald Duck and the others like them offered entertainment to children. Albeit mild in violence, we were humored by their potential harmful antics. Nowadays, there is Pokemon and Marvel Comics coming to life with violence far stronger than our staples of cartoon watching back in the day. Remember shows like Batman and the Brady Bunch? Painfully corny shows that sheltered us from what real life was about. Punches by Batman and Robin hidden by large cartoon exclamations of "Pow, Bam, Boom and the ever elusive Kapow and Blotto". We rarely ever saw blood or a solid punch. Swearing was a major no-no in the Brady household. Calling someone or something "stupid" was almost a criminal offence. TV nowadays allows some very colorful words that if it was said on the Brady Bunch, I would have no doubt that a little talking to would suffice. The change was gradual, but in comparison, it is huge. Sex was never seen on TV, but the door was opened through Soap Operas and more streamlined to mask reality television. Sex, drugs, violence and mayhem is becoming more accepted forms of entertainment. Reality TV is starting to break down barriers of privacy, the mainstream media has become biased, and even music has been placed blame for violence, suicide and mental instability. So all avenues of entertainment have been tainted over the years and we have become more resilient to less than kind actions. In fact, we have become tougher to handle those challenges. We just never seemed to notice how resilient to these things we are now. On a side note... I so find it comical that when there was less violence and swearing in entertainment, we had less political correctness. Now since the tables are turned, we are required to be more PC, but exposing ourselves to more violence and mayhem.
Video games expanded. There were just simple games like "Pong", Tetris and mind-building games of the like. It expanded to more violent games that show guns, cannons, flame throwers, blood and sex appeal that, back in my day, were never imagined to ever exist. While we still have "the classics", there has been an overwhelming level of acceptance of more violent games. Probably due to the fact that the graphics are far superior and is capable of creating adrenaline. While I believe that games like that are usually used solely for entertainment, it does bring to mind that sex, drugs and violence is becoming more appealing to our younger generation. I do not know if that concerns you, but is sure concerns me.
As I mentioned to people, and as the title of this blog... I am no superhero, but I seem to possess some superhero qualities. Keeping a level head was not exactly my strong suit, but it has come to my attention that I have strength when I thought I had none. Now if only the ones I love could avoid pushing my buttons in how I defend my actions, reactions or lack there of, I can show how strong I can possibly be. I cannot save the world, but I can adapt to survive the best I can and do my best to understand that I alone cannot think for others in their journey of finding solutions. I can only be there to support you and help when I can.... That is what I am capable of doing.
Thanks for reading :)
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