Where is the quality?

Yesterday, I spent a large amount of the day with my mom.  Christmas is fast approaching and she needed my help in finding something for DD.  Knowing that this year, like last year, DD has shown no interest in anything in particular.  She has not been in the Christmas spirit and I cannot blame her.  I am even feeling the twinge of remorse that our family has to face yet again another financial challenge we cannot plan ahead for.  Knowing that DH feels unappreciated for his efforts, I believe that he is not expecting anything this year, but I already have a plan in action.  Sadly, it will not be in such grand of nature as I have done in the past because we just cannot afford any luxury items.  In the past, DH would offer a suggestion and I would be running to get that item for him.  That is the way I always did my Christmas shopping when it came to him.  Here are a few things I have managed to figure from a mere few words and what the gift ended up being.....

Our first year of marriage, he commented (in a joking way) that he hates to shovel snow.  Even though the previous two winters were mild, I had the feeling that a big snowfall was going to happen and bought him a snow blower.  Needless to say, my gut feeling for a heavy snowfall was correct and he got tons of use out of it.  He still has that snow blower and has added on two more that he salvaged over the years.  Other years pretty much followed suit.  Sadly, it was always something he needed for the house.  As the years came and went, he has gotten a shop vac that has a pump to handle the aftermath of getting flooded, a new huge toolbox with extra tools just for those necessary maintenance things at home, and those were just the ones that I felt were necessary, practical and sadly, were impersonal.  Kind of like buying someone a vacuum cleaner when they wished for something different.  The years that he has been cryptic in his needs, he has gotten the only things I can think of that he may need... like a new winter coat, clothes, and new boots.  He even got toys that lit up because that seemed to put a sparkle in his eyes like a child.  Call him "odd", but that is the way he is and I appreciate that... keeps me young, I think ;)

Now, this year, being in DEFCON-5 for tightening the budget, I sought out something that he would appreciate and to remind him that I do listen and appreciate all that he does for this family.  Figuring that it needs to be personal and from the heart is very difficult for a guy that prefers to always have the basics, I looked high and low for something and ended up buying him PJ's that he probably won't wear, new socks and underwear so he will feel compelled to part with the ones that are not even worthy to be cut up into rags. Believe me, there would be virtually no effort in cutting them up.  They are being held by a mere thread.  Frustrates the snot out of me to wash and try to fold stuff like that, so this is the route that I ended up taking.  so needless to say, my efforts have fallen short in the gift area.

As for seeking out what DD could possibly like and need was the other half of my seek and buy mission for Christmas.  I figured that clothes was a safe bet.  I mentioned other things that were still feasible in our budget, but expensive in our eyes to the rest of the family.  I was just sickened at the notion that clothes that look ready to become rags is the fashion.  The 80's have returned... "ripped" shirts and pants are all the rage.  Makes me wonder if the economy has a major pull in what is fashionable because I know that people are struggling, but do we need to pay full price to look like we are destitute?  Shirts so thin and thread barren that it would take three or four layers to remote something close to offering some warmth?  Jeans that are frayed in a way that there are actual holes in them?  Apparently, bejeweling them makes it less of a rag, right?
In my mind, I wondered.... Where is the quality?  Where is the sensibility in clothes?  Shopping for this tween is getting harder and harder.  Especially in clothes...  Your choices are slutty and barely offers any coverage or tattered and ready for the garbage.  What I see as quality is getting less and less.

Deciding that I cannot be "that" mom that buys those sweaters that can cause to get your child beaten up, I swallowed my pride and sought out the least offensive and least ragged items available.  I cringed looking at the price tag for these "tatters" and realized that it has to be the economy influencing the fashion trends.  A poorly made "fake fur" coat costs $300, but a warn out down coat can go for between $30 and $60.  Jeans that look older than my child with tatters and rips, albeit bejeweled, go for $25 and shirts that look like a lawnmower won the battle on them are going for $15 to $30.  Sweaters are getting thinner and thinner, too.  Paying full price for a sweater that uses less yarn does not seem worth the purchase, but after an hour or so walking around in a shock induced haze, I think I was close to hitting the mark in the parameters of what I deem acceptable.  I can only hope she likes what I got her.

As I thought more about this holiday and the stress it causes, I made the executive decision of what I am telling DH and DD what I want for Christmas......  I want absolutely nothing.  I want them to feel a little less on the poor side and save that money.  Just offer a little more help at home and a really good hug is all I need.

At least DH can breathe a little easier this year.  All of the gifts I purchased were out of the money I earned at my part time job and has no effect on our budget.  No credit cards were used in this venture and deep consideration was placed in what was purchased.  I just hope that DH realizes that the biggest gift that I felt is most heartfelt for him is taking on our family's gifts without using his hard earned money and asking for nothing in return.  What I really want for Christmas is a happy family and that is something you cannot buy.