When it comes down to what a person needs and what a person wants.... I happened to notice that things are far more simple these days. Well, at least when it comes to me. Really, not that much makes me fairly happy... in fact, I appear to be quite simple to figure out. I just wonder why it is so hard to obtain these simple things.... Oh, that's right.... NOTHING is simple these days.
When it boils down to what makes me happy.... there really is not that much effort necessary. Gift giving is even easier, but according to DH.... I am apparently the most difficult person to shop for. That, my friends, is so far from the truth and I can now explain it with the greatest of ease......
I was raised to appreciate everything that is offered to me. It is far easier to appreciate something when you pay attention to the thought behind it than the actual item offered. In the grand scheme of things.... it is far greater to be thought of freely than forced to think about. I taught DD the same concept that any gift that is stemmed from a heartfelt thought about you is something to appreciate. No matter how the initial thought of the item may be. Hey, that sweater might look ugly to you, but someone put in some heartfelt thought that you might actually like it and you should appreciate the sentiment that they thought of you in the first place.
While it is known that diamonds are a girl's best friend, I would be just as happy with a six-pack of beer and a friend to share it with. In comparison, the price range between these two gifts (or offerings if you want to call it that), is far from being equal. Diamonds are expensive, but having a beer with a friend is priceless. Flowers, chocolates, cards, and such are okay, but offer me something that can give me far happier memories is the most priceless gift this simple girl could ask for. Every hand-made card from DD has more value to me than any store-bought item because the sentiment comes from the heart. A simple note telling me that you are thinking of me is the most valuable thing I could possibly ask for and that is because I have something tangible to look back upon when I feel alone or unappreciated. Heck, I still have a small note that DH wrote me when I was dating him that said the nicest things just because he took the time to actually write it out. I even remember what the reason was for his little note. I was having a really bad series of events happening to me and he wanted to let me know that he cared and was there for me if I needed him. I still have tears in my eyes whenever I think about it. I might sound sappy about that, but deep down I am a sappy person.
Just last week, my best friend sends me a cryptic text about a super secret surprise that I was to keep. As she shared with me what the secret was in bits and pieces.... I was fearing that I could not contain the excitement that was bubbling under the surface. The secret started with the knowledge that her little brother was getting married in less than a week and her soon to be sister-in-law needed someone to do her hair and I was considered for the job. Now, you have to realize that my best friend happens to live in Las Vegas, Nevada, and so does her little brother and his fiance'. Thinking that I was getting a ticket to go there to do her hair had me excited about the notion of going there. Of course, that was not the case because they were coming back to Illinois to get married. Okay, I was a little sad that I did not get to go there, but I was still thrilled that I was considered for the job. After the excitement of going to see my best friend started to wind down, my cell phone rang and the conversation continued with my best friend. That is when the excitement started all over again because she called to tell me that she was also coming back to Illinois for the wedding, but needed a place to crash since her little brother and his fiance' thought she could not swing the time off from her job as well as the air fare to attend the wedding and since she did manage... she wanted to surprise them. While it would have been awesome to go somewhere different to see my best friend.... I was equally thrilled that she was coming here and that I got a chance to spend some quality time with her. Of course, I did get a serious nudge to get my Spring cleaning started with a vengeance because my spare bedroom looked like a storage locker with nowhere for her to sleep. I only had a few days to prepare for her arrival and trust me.... I worked like a crazed woman to be prepared for her arrival. Her stay was short, but appreciated and the surprise for her little brother and now new sister-in-law went off without a hitch. Even spending a little time with my best friend's little brother was a cherished memory since it has been years since I have seen him last. The laughs we shared on his wedding day are going to be definitely remembered for years.
Now, onward to probably the one thing I would really love to do and hope that DH sees it as a simple request to fulfill..... I would really love to take a trip to see my best friend where she now lives. Well, on the surface it seems simple, but I already know that it is far more difficult to accomplish and here is the reasoning behind it.....
It would be simple to just take a little time (a few days) to jump on a plane and fly to Nevada to see them. I was invited to stay at their place for the duration and the cost of doing things would be fairly reasonable. I am not a thrill seeker and eating home cooked meals are just fine for me. I do not have expensive tastes and I am not a huge fan of shopping... so it would cost me very little to be there. The problems are as follows...... The cost of air fare to get there: we just do not have the surplus of money to spend for that.... and even if we did find a cheap fare.... it is being away from my family for a few days. I believe that I have enabled my family to rely upon me far too much to just pack up and go for more than a day. DH has never been required to do too much when it came to caring for DD and has no clue what to do with a teenager. Now, DD is currently a teenager, but she is not old enough to drive herself places that she needs to go to, but she can be self-sufficient to a degree. Neither can really cook and it would make me sick to my stomach what they would be eating (or not eating) while I am away. Since this trip would probably be over a weekend, it would be safe to say that the normal rhythm of the routine would be severely disrupted because of two things..... 1. The grocery shopping would not get done because neither one can really cook anything and there would be no guarantee that it would be done since when I return I would be cooking with missing ingredients (meaning: they have no clue what we need to make anything), and 2. DH hates driving and would just blow off getting the groceries, but will not let me do the shopping trip alone because since I gave him the "big boy pill", we now shop as a family every week to keep the budget in check. I do know that since neither one can cook, it will be painfully prevalent that neither one will clean while I am away. While I am capable of doing that once I return.... it is a guarantee that I will be stunned into paralysis from the magnitude of the mess left for me to clean up and it will take me far longer to get caught up. Of course, I also have the job of being the buffer between these two and I have my doubts that these two can avoid arguing while I am gone. With DH's track record of making things painfully uncomfortable with DD's track record of not avoiding confrontation.... I fear that my teenage daughter would be kicked out of the house while I am gone. Heck, I know that my enabling ways makes me fearful of leaving my home and that is seriously not healthy. While it would be even easier to just take DD with me, I am still stuck with the same issues of money and the natural flow of things at home being disrupted. Even if I could convince DH to go with us as a family trip.... I know I would be fighting a no-win battle because DH rarely likes to do things I like to do and going to see my best friend is not a big draw for him to be thrilled to go. I would hear about how we just cannot afford to go take a family trip and he just cannot pick up and take one since his garage is down to a skeleton crew and his mind would be elsewhere the whole time.
You see? Simple stuff, but can get complicated quite easily. It just would be nice that all simple things can be as simple as they appear and not so complicated. At least when it comes down to a simple thing like a note that speaks from the heart... it cannot be all that difficult, right? Maybe I have this all wrong.... Maybe even the most simple things are the most difficult. I guess I need to think this through just a little more, but alas I have things to do. Laundry does not do itself, nor does the housework. Thanks for reading and have a great day!
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