Lately, I have been hearing from people that I have a talent to write. There have even been a few people that believe that I could actually write a book and I should try. I do appreciate the compliment, but deep down inside I know I lack the skills to go beyond writing a blog post here and there. I am not that talented to outline a story plot and build a story with fictional characters. I am just an average person that does not have enough to follow through to even try. I will admit that I thought about it a couple of times. In fact, I once did try to think up a story to tell and even started it to only scrap the idea and deleted what I started with. The reason is because what I did start with really had nowhere to grow from and after 2 pages of effort, I could not even set a proper dialogue between the characters. You have to realize that I am my own toughest critic and I just flat out refuse to see what I did manage to write being worthy of print. Heck, I struggle with sharing what I write when I happen to blog.
There are other things that I happen to do that also end up with compliments and requests to build upon what I have done and make it more widely available to the public or I should start my own business with....
I have told people that an idle mind for me is a recipe for disaster. When DH takes his annual "fishing" trip with his buddies (aka the 4-day drink-a-palooza sans spouses and/or family), I manage to find yet another "hobby" to start. The first few years, I was a cleaning maniac that would fill my waking hours until I crashed from exhaustion and would have DH return home to a spotless and rearranged home. Yep, I moved furniture, too. One person told me that I should become an interior decorator with that hobby. Then, for a few years after that, I took up glass painting. I purchased a few tutorial books, some paints, a set of brushes, and learned the skill to paint on glass. I painted glassware sets, wine glasses, glass ornaments, glass bowls, glass vases, and a few glass cake stands. All it took was for one donation to DD's preschool for their annual fundraising auction and then I ended up painting glassware and ornaments for their annual craft show with special orders pouring in every time. I got really tired painting glass real quick. Well, I still will paint on glass, but not as often as I used to. Then, after that, I had an interest in making beaded jewelry. That hobby got real expensive... really fast. I just could not fathom using cheap materials. With each trip to the bead store, I managed to learn yet another little trick or technique. I even took a few project classes to learn the process to make a specific item. While what I made was oohed and complimented on, I just did not have the confidence to actually sell what I made as a worthy craft to the masses. Nowadays, I might dabble a little if the mood hits me, but most of the time I am repairing co-worker's broken stuff. Then, of course, I also have one other talent that I have been praised for and a few of my professional colleagues have been pushing me to consider starting my own business in makeup artistry. One person has even offered to have a friend of hers set me up with a web page to advertise my talents and set up a pay pal account so people can buy makeup from me. The catch is for me to purchase the necessary inventory and have a place to store the stuff. Then, of course, I would have to set up all the other facets of having a business and would need an accountant to manage handling taxes, profit/loss statements, and projections to assure there is enough financial security as well as inventory control to assure me that my investment is not a money eating disaster. Heck, I just do not have the capital to start a business, nor the backing necessary to even consider it.
With the start of any business venture, there is a strong case of huge losses for the first 3 years. I am not even sure if that is accurate anymore. Supply and demand can either make or break a business. Heck, with that in mind.... there is no guarantee that a business can become fruitful after the mentioned three year acclimation period since the economy is closing businesses that have been around for far longer than three years. I just do not have the capital to support something to watch it fail as well as the nerves of steel to take the chance. What I do see is something that people see as exceptional being just not all that special. Heck, it is run-of-the-mill to me. There are plenty of artisans that paint glass, make beaded jewelry, rearrange furniture, and apply makeup out there. Not all entrepreneurs succeed and the ones that do have more drive than I could ever imagine. I believe that all stems from really believing in themselves to succeed. I just do not have that much faith in myself. Probably because I have been slowly being knocked down every time I tried. My helpful nature has been knocked down so many times, I should have the word "welcome" stitched across my forehead. Ideas that I gave DH in helping solve some of his business problems were shot down faster than the words came out of my mouth, to later find out another person thought the same thing and became the greatest idea ever. If the one person I seek out to have believe in me and back me in starting a venture as big as any of the ones I listed (including trying to write a book that I feel would not be worth the paper it is printed on), shoots me down every time and kills the possible confidence necessary to even bother trying... then it is probably the wisest of choices to not try to make a mark in the world.
So, in closing.... I would like to at least say thanks to all of you that believe more in me than I believe in myself. Who knows.... maybe someday I will try again when it comes to writing a book. I do not really see myself as an author, but if I do decide to really try and follow through.... I will let you know if I succeed. For now... I might stick to blogging from time to time. That is my cathartic release, you know....
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
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