Trust me, I have tried to hold onto that tidbit of advise from my father and I was pretty good at keeping the crying under wraps, but lately... I seem to be losing control. I see a loving gesture on a commercial and I am wallowing in a waterfall of tears (sniffling included). When a person tries to give me a compliment, my lips are quivering and my vision gets blurred with the burning sensation of tears forming in my eyes. When someone genuinely asks 'what's wrong', I turn into a weeping puddle with a boggled mind because in all reality..... I have no clue why I am crying!
Sure, people have events not go their way as well as the occasional sentimental memory coming into focus, but these things never impacted me like this in the past. Heck, just thinking about them is really no reason to cry and what I tend to have going on in my life is not all that life-shattering that it would warrant any tears to fall from my eyes, but it does.
Just this morning, I was watching the news and listened to a report about a toy for girls that is to chip away at the stereotypes that girls are all about princesses, dolls, and domestic duties while boys can build things, create things and take risks. While the report was mostly about breaking down those stereotypes and giving girls the opportunity to build things like boys do, but in a way that looks like it is not gender biased, I saw that as an interesting concept.... Introducing girls to something of a career path that is mainly a male role (engineering) and see that there are opportunities beyond the proverbial box laid before them. What had me blubbering like an emotional fool was the mention of a letter that was written to the creator of "Golidie Blox" that thanked this woman for opening her eyes (at the ripe age of 8 years old, mind you) to the world of engineering and building with creativity. That this new toy opened a new world for her and a career path that she feels strongly connected to. Instead of being a homemaker, a teacher, a nurse, or a secretary.... this little girl wants to embark on the mainly male gender held profession of an engineer. We all know that when it comes to gender-based professions.... Women are showing they are as capable, if not more, than men. Of course, there are some things that are strictly gender controlled, but career paths are no longer black or white, or set in stone. My question is.... "Why am I crying over something nice being said to another?" Oh, and if you are not familiar with the toy I am speaking of.... here is a little ad/video of what I am talking about..... I will say this.... I am impressed with the Rube Goldberg Machine deal going on here ;)
I tried to rationalize with these current bouts of crying that I am just under a lot of stress, but in all honesty..... I am not more stressed than usual. In fact, with all the hobbies keeping my mind blank from stress... I am really in a more calm state than usual. DH and I are getting along. DD, on the other hand, is getting on my nerves, but nothing I can't handle. Sure, there is family drama outside my four walls, but not anything devastating to me.... just usual garbage. I have noticed that I am a bit more on the short-end-of-the-wick when it comes to mood swings. I am getting frustrated and angry a lot more than usual. Hmmmm... I wonder.... am I in the starting stages of menopause?
Well, I am a trifle bit moody, but I am not suffering the wild temperature changes of sweating and freezing. I found a hair sprouting from my chin that seems to go away for long after plucking it. I have gained some serious weight lately and losing it is as difficult as picking the winning numbers of the lottery. I am not all that sure if the word, "irregular" is surfacing to the top of the list, but I have read that there are some women that go through this stage in life quite differently than others and that there is no real common set of events that tells me otherwise. It is not an "all or nothing" kind-of thing. Some women's change is gentle and not realized until after it ends, while others get every bleeping symptom, and there are those somewhere in between. Sure, I can ask a friend that has gone through this to see if what I am feeling is normal, but they would be looking at me like I have lost my ever-loving mind if I did. I could ask my doctor, but chances are they would misdiagnose me and claim that I am suffering depression and give me something I do not need. I am not a fan of pills anyway, so getting me on some regular regime of pills is going to not work out all that well, either. Heck, I seem to forget to take my vitamins every day!
One thing is for sure..... I am not a fan of crying. Never was.... never will be. I just want this emotional roller coaster with zero reasons to stop! This constant going up and down is really grating on my nerves!!!
Oh well, all vented out for the day. Thanks for reading and have a day! Good, bad, or indifferent is all up to you.....
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