The holidays are here and you all know what that means! Spending quality time with family. Interesting concept.... quality. When we think of the word quality, we tend to measure that to a value or sense of value. True as that may be to everyone, it comes far less often than we tend to think. This is where quantity comes to play. The generalized meaning of quantity is based on a different value. That is seen as a number; as in how often or how many times.
In this day and age, we tend to try to attempt more quantity rather than quality. That is because we all have too much to do in too little of time. So much that, in fact, the usual and customary traditions are no longer things we look forward to, but to things we feel are mandatory obligations. Sure, we would love to spend real quality time with family, but it just does not seem to be in the cards for most. I believe it is all in how a person places more importance on one thing and less on another. It is human nature to come to terms that everything cannot be valued all at the same level and some things will have to fall to the wayside and be dealt with later. Well, along with level of demand for attention, there is one other thing that is considered, and that is..... time management. Everyone suffers from this ailment, but not all will attest to it. As in the old saying of realizing 'their eyes are bigger than their stomach', when it comes to food, there is also some truth to how much a person can reasonably accomplish in a day. Nobody truly considers the potential obstacles that will make their appearances at unexpected times that can range from traffic flow to unforeseen incidences that were never considered. We are not wired in a way to take in consideration of every possible (and impossible) scenario there is, or ever could be. Of course, we also have our own level of expectations that are never quite met in the process. We just need to appreciate what we can accomplish and not beat ourselves up for what we did not get to do.
What sadly happens these days is the feelings that others seem to possess. Nobody wants to put someone out when it comes to getting things done. Family traditions are being pushed to the wayside because the harried expressions from the ones we love is bringing on a feeling that these events are now more of an inconvenience or mandatory obligation than something we actually want to do or even look forward to. It is pretty sad to say this, but slowing down to take in the sights or smell the roses is becoming more and more of a fairy tale than a possible reality.
I learned rather quickly that the views and fundamentals of family become severely skewed the older we get. I spent a wonderful day with my mother and mother-in-law last week and saw actual happiness on the faces of people that I was almost believing were unhappy all the time. Of course, it took for someone to make the effort to make it happen (aka: me), but once I got my point across that I wanted to spend time with them, they felt less like they were a burden. Just this morning, I had to drive DD to school again and saw that my recently widowed neighbor needed her walkways and driveway cleared from yesterday's snow. Once I got home, I put on my snow shoveling gear, grabbed my shovel and cleared her walkway and driveway. Of course, I had to do it all stealth-like because she feels like she was putting people out because she is too old to do it herself. Of course, my stealth-like attempts were caught and I had to reassure her that I wanted to do this for her and not because it was a chore to get done. Heck, it is her house, she has kids that can drive the 40 minutes to come over and do this for her, but why? I live a few houses down and I was available and willing.
Obviously, my stealth-like moves were caught, but fortunately at the very end of the job. Would you believe that she actually expressed remorse for seeing me clear the snow for her? I took the time and effort to reassure her that I wanted to do this for her because I want her to be able to safely go outside with her dog for the morning walk. She tried to offer me some coffee, but I declined. I don't drink the stuff, but I did appreciate the smile she gave me and that was payment enough. I may not fully understand her situation, but I can empathize and that is what made making the decision to help that much easier. Hopefully, she does not feel like rewarding me with cookies or something of the sort.... I am failing at my diet as it is and don't need the extra calories to set me back even further than I already happen to be.
Now, with that in mind.... I could have easily driven myself with my trusty shovel to my mom's and my in-laws, but I have no doubt that they had their snow removal under control or already done. Shoveling is apparently good exercise, but murder on my back. I think I need to get one of those ergonomically engineered shovels for the winter season. My back just might not make it the season and with no chiropractic care offered in our health plan.... I cannot afford to take the risk. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty good right now.
Sorry about the segue to something off topic, but here is the conclusion I am trying to make.....
Life should have more quality than quantity to it. Hold tightly to those traditions and values you have had growing up because it is quite easy to forget the foundation to life. People before things and all that will be more rewarding in the long haul than leaving behind a lot of stuff and being alone. Sure, life is busy, but only you can chart the course and carve out the time to take in the sights as well as stop from time to time to just smell the roses. Open your eyes to what you have accomplished and appreciate how far you have come, but never forget those that helped you get to where you are today. Care for others in a manner of which you would want to be cared about because regret is a toxin that poisons the soul and your well-being. Be honest with yourself as well with others, but do it in a way that nurtures rather than hurts. Empathize before criticizing and always keep your eyes open for learning. Some of the most treasured things are not bought from a store, they are basically free to give.... Love, understanding, respect, and care. As long as you are willing to give it, people will offer it in return.
Thanks for reading and have a great day! I am now off to wrapping DH's Christmas present that he does not know I got for him and off to find one of those ergonomically engineered shovels. Hopefully I can find one on sale ;)
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