Gambling, taking hard earned money and betting on something with hopes it is gonna pay big. Wouldn't be nice to win something with minimal effort? I know I would like to see "Lady Luck" offer some of that good fortune my way, but alas the last drawing of numbers in the Mega Millions lottery proved yet again, I am a contributor to the growing number of what that one lucky person can win. With the winning total growing into a number that makes me just dizzy with how many zeroes are at the end, I just have to at least try again for a chance of glory.
I just wondered something.... As I stood in line to make my little purchase of a $4 quick pick of numbers for the lottery, I watched people purchase stacks of lottery tickets. Between the scratch off cards and the computer generated lottery tickets, I saw a person spend $100 in a blink of an eye. Think about it.... $100 is a lot of money to just toss at a 179 million chance to 1 that you would win. With spending $100 on a dream when there are bills to pay and mouths to feed, it sure caused some serious head scratching at how it has become easy to throw money away with hopes that your numbers get called. As the saying goes... "you never know if you can win if you actually do not try" does seem to make sense, but when does dreaming big get a reality check? I have seen a few people at the local convenience mart with tickets in hand that won a few dollars here and there take that money and spend it on more tickets and add a little more money for more. As the song The Gambler starts to ring in my head, I wonder if this person would actually figure when it is time to just walk away.
I can definitely see gambling becoming a disease. The idea of getting more back than you put in does sound quite appealing, but gambling as in real life, never offers guarantees that you will win all the time. Does greed become the brightest shining bulb in a person's psyche when they become unable to just stop gambling on becoming rich and accept that wealth is more than what a dollar brings? I guess that is where I feel a little resentment over basically throwing away $4 on a quick draw for the lottery. There is no way that my little $4 is closing the gap when it comes to the odds, but at least that $4 is not going to make or break the family budget. I just refuse to be consistent in taking chances where money is concerned because eventually that $4 becomes $8 and then onto $12, 16, 18 and so on. Stuff like this does add up. You have to realize that these addicts to gambling have contributed to this appealing total with hopes and dreams of getting every penny back and then some. It is actually kind of interesting that the companies that run these lotteries are not in the poor house like how government mismanagement and corporate greed put everyone in a financial pinch. Well, not everyone. There are the elite wealthy that have managed to save a fair chunk of their money to have that status. While the socialist view of everyone should be equally wealthy is quite appealing, it is not considered the American way. Then there are the innovators that remained humble when it came to money. I have met a few people in my past that were quite wealthy, but never flaunted it. In fact, one person I met through a friend lives in some run down little hick town. By the looks of him, he looks more broke than I am, but owns a fair chunk of Chicago's Magnificent Mile. Real Estate was his claim to wealth, but prefers to live a very simple life. Sadly, I have lost contact with my friend and her friend of vast wealth. I have wondered how they are doing now.
I guess that is where it comes to something else. If by the grace of God and the touch of Lady Luck I was to win the lottery.... What would I do with all that money? I know that my financial woes would vanish. I know that my family would be well taken care of. I would travel a bit. I would even help my friends that are in dire need. I would even donate to things I feel strongly about. I doubt I would change into someone I am not because of the money, but what about the people around me? Do people change when someone has a few extra bucks in their bank account? Does the balance of friendship or family change because of wealth? Are people willing to walk away from the comforts of true friendships because of greed? I have seen those shows that showcased people that won the lottery and how their lives changed. Not every person was truly happy with how life changes when a tidal wave of money comes their way. Is financial wealth valued more than the things we never placed a price tag on?
All I can say is that I sure hope everyone wins something. Even if it is just enough to get back on track financially, take a really nice vacation or to fulfill a wish they have been saving for. That is all I am hoping for myself because I would never want to carry the burden of what to do with all that money. I do know that if I was to win.... I could not see myself gambling anymore... That is when I would just walk away.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Yes or no... Take the chance or not...
Recently, I was offered an opportunity to be in the running for a full time office job. In fact, I would be something like a jack-of-all-trades manager/administrative assistant for a recruiting office. Fast paced, detail orientated work that places people in their dream job. Well, maybe not dream job, but a much needed job. As I pondered the full realm of how taking on something I feel I do not have experience in as well as how my being gone at a full time job will affect the household dynamic would change if I was actually offered the job, my anxiety-ridden self managed to take a back seat and I looked at this possibility with extreme rationality. That little slap in the face comment from a person that chose to remain anonymous got me thinking.... and thinking a lot. What is holding me back? What if I fail? Can DH really step up and take a more active parenting role? Can I trust DD to take on more than a couple of hours of independence?
Well, after weighing the pros and cons of diving back into unfamiliar waters, being 12 years out of the loop and all... I still felt stuck. Well, maybe a little scared. I know that if I was single and there was nobody else I was held accountable for, I would have jumped right in without anything holding me back. With things being different and how my actions no longer affect just me, I became more reserved when it comes to taking leaps of faith.
As the deciding hour is upon me and with no solid answer in my head, I prayed for a sign... any sign that can help me decide and be able to accept my decisions without any regrets. Well, that just happened this morning.
After making breakfast for DD and I, I pulled together what I figured that I would wear for the day and head off to taking a shower. DD is off this week for Spring Break and has remained in her pajamas since yesterday (totally unmotivated to do much) and is camped out on the couch with the laptop running. With her back to me, I can see what she is doing on her computer. Well, actually it was an anniversary gift to me from DH, but she took ownership the moment it came home. Okay, back to the point in hand... As I looked over her shoulder, she sees me and does a quick couple of clicks to remove a page that she was on. Remembering catching her in an unsupervised chat room (a major red flag of danger in my book), I asked her what she was looking at. The lying has begun again. This preteen is back to her old antics of entering some potentially dangerous places via the internet. As I demanded that she brings that page back up, she reluctantly agrees. It is some ad to enter a risky site glamorizing "naughty people in your area". You know what I mean.... a scantily-clad woman posing in a very provocative way with the words, "hook up with local nasty boys and girls in (our hometown) NOW!" Well, the 20 questions starting spewing out of my mouth over her recent find... What are you thinking? How did you come across this? Her answer, as innocent as it can be, tells me that she got this "pop up" after going into one of her favorite sites "OUR WORLD". Now, I am familiar with that site and that is where preteens go to play games and chat. This site controls vulgar behavior and does not allow anyone to swear or ask questions that pose a potential threat or allow personal information to be shared. Basically, it is one step above Webkinz World, but is portrayed as something "cool" to kids. What concerned me most was how a pop up like that just shows up on a site she frequents and why she took the time to read it. I am not sure she was 100% honest with me and I yet again explained to her that things like that are very dangerous. With a blank look on her face, she tells me she understands and would never take risks like that. Well, I am not all that convinced.
While I cannot protect DD from everything, I managed to have a flashback of the risks DD took being on some anime chat site with zero filters of protection for children. I even took a look at that site to see what was said when I pretended to be DD and chatted with these people. Completely shocked at what was said and scared to see what a few people were discussing, DD lost her computer privileges for 2 weeks. After that punishment was done, she got the computer back and after a few days... I caught her back on that site. She even had the audacity to lie again. That is when I learned of her little 2-click trick to hide things from me. The following punishment was forcing her to watch YouTube videos from the show 20/20 of a sting operation catching pedophiles that portrayed themselves as children to get invited to a child's home when their parents were not there. Thinking I got my point through, new rules were put in place and we tried to rebuild the trust I once had in her. We managed to get to a point where I could go run an errand or even be away from home for a couple of hours. I thought we were on the right track... apparently not.
After acknowledging that trust needs to be fully in tact for the safety and sanctity of my home, I placed a huge amount of my decision towards taking on a full time job in her hands. Also, I even took into consideration what DH can do when it comes to taking on more parental responsibilities. When I went to this interview at the crack of dawn this past Friday, I handed the reigns to DH to make sure DD gets to school. When he was asked to return home to drive DD to school because it was raining and I knew that we did not have an umbrella... I heard the complaints start flying at how taking that 15 minutes to drive home, take her to school and drive back to work was such an inconvenience to his day. I knew that his desire to step up more is not going to be consistent. Just imagining the excuses being made up for him to skirt picking up the slack made my stomach turn. Between the two of them, I now have even more fear that something can go terribly wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that I do need to take more chances, but they have to be in a gradual state. I no longer can seek out something that takes too much time away from home, and that is part time work with the potential to go full time. While full time at this spot in the year could have benefited me in paying for camp for DD, I have to be completely comfortable in the choices I make and stand up for my convictions about things without having any regrets. While I know that there are people that are forced to take leaps of faith every day, to take chances, and to believe that everything will turn out just fine in the end... I am thankful that my situation does not force me to take chances I do not feel comfortable taking at this time, but I will when I feel it is right for the taking.
So, in closing, I decided to pass on that offer for a full time job. With the long talk I had with DH, the even longer talk with DD, and weighing out my options.... I have a goal in mind and a clearer thought process about it. Sometimes "no" is the right answer. Even if you feel it could be "yes". While there is a strong possibility that I could regret passing this offer now, I need to feel completely confident in my choices. Thanks for reading and have a great day!!
Well, after weighing the pros and cons of diving back into unfamiliar waters, being 12 years out of the loop and all... I still felt stuck. Well, maybe a little scared. I know that if I was single and there was nobody else I was held accountable for, I would have jumped right in without anything holding me back. With things being different and how my actions no longer affect just me, I became more reserved when it comes to taking leaps of faith.
As the deciding hour is upon me and with no solid answer in my head, I prayed for a sign... any sign that can help me decide and be able to accept my decisions without any regrets. Well, that just happened this morning.
After making breakfast for DD and I, I pulled together what I figured that I would wear for the day and head off to taking a shower. DD is off this week for Spring Break and has remained in her pajamas since yesterday (totally unmotivated to do much) and is camped out on the couch with the laptop running. With her back to me, I can see what she is doing on her computer. Well, actually it was an anniversary gift to me from DH, but she took ownership the moment it came home. Okay, back to the point in hand... As I looked over her shoulder, she sees me and does a quick couple of clicks to remove a page that she was on. Remembering catching her in an unsupervised chat room (a major red flag of danger in my book), I asked her what she was looking at. The lying has begun again. This preteen is back to her old antics of entering some potentially dangerous places via the internet. As I demanded that she brings that page back up, she reluctantly agrees. It is some ad to enter a risky site glamorizing "naughty people in your area". You know what I mean.... a scantily-clad woman posing in a very provocative way with the words, "hook up with local nasty boys and girls in (our hometown) NOW!" Well, the 20 questions starting spewing out of my mouth over her recent find... What are you thinking? How did you come across this? Her answer, as innocent as it can be, tells me that she got this "pop up" after going into one of her favorite sites "OUR WORLD". Now, I am familiar with that site and that is where preteens go to play games and chat. This site controls vulgar behavior and does not allow anyone to swear or ask questions that pose a potential threat or allow personal information to be shared. Basically, it is one step above Webkinz World, but is portrayed as something "cool" to kids. What concerned me most was how a pop up like that just shows up on a site she frequents and why she took the time to read it. I am not sure she was 100% honest with me and I yet again explained to her that things like that are very dangerous. With a blank look on her face, she tells me she understands and would never take risks like that. Well, I am not all that convinced.
While I cannot protect DD from everything, I managed to have a flashback of the risks DD took being on some anime chat site with zero filters of protection for children. I even took a look at that site to see what was said when I pretended to be DD and chatted with these people. Completely shocked at what was said and scared to see what a few people were discussing, DD lost her computer privileges for 2 weeks. After that punishment was done, she got the computer back and after a few days... I caught her back on that site. She even had the audacity to lie again. That is when I learned of her little 2-click trick to hide things from me. The following punishment was forcing her to watch YouTube videos from the show 20/20 of a sting operation catching pedophiles that portrayed themselves as children to get invited to a child's home when their parents were not there. Thinking I got my point through, new rules were put in place and we tried to rebuild the trust I once had in her. We managed to get to a point where I could go run an errand or even be away from home for a couple of hours. I thought we were on the right track... apparently not.
After acknowledging that trust needs to be fully in tact for the safety and sanctity of my home, I placed a huge amount of my decision towards taking on a full time job in her hands. Also, I even took into consideration what DH can do when it comes to taking on more parental responsibilities. When I went to this interview at the crack of dawn this past Friday, I handed the reigns to DH to make sure DD gets to school. When he was asked to return home to drive DD to school because it was raining and I knew that we did not have an umbrella... I heard the complaints start flying at how taking that 15 minutes to drive home, take her to school and drive back to work was such an inconvenience to his day. I knew that his desire to step up more is not going to be consistent. Just imagining the excuses being made up for him to skirt picking up the slack made my stomach turn. Between the two of them, I now have even more fear that something can go terribly wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that I do need to take more chances, but they have to be in a gradual state. I no longer can seek out something that takes too much time away from home, and that is part time work with the potential to go full time. While full time at this spot in the year could have benefited me in paying for camp for DD, I have to be completely comfortable in the choices I make and stand up for my convictions about things without having any regrets. While I know that there are people that are forced to take leaps of faith every day, to take chances, and to believe that everything will turn out just fine in the end... I am thankful that my situation does not force me to take chances I do not feel comfortable taking at this time, but I will when I feel it is right for the taking.
So, in closing, I decided to pass on that offer for a full time job. With the long talk I had with DH, the even longer talk with DD, and weighing out my options.... I have a goal in mind and a clearer thought process about it. Sometimes "no" is the right answer. Even if you feel it could be "yes". While there is a strong possibility that I could regret passing this offer now, I need to feel completely confident in my choices. Thanks for reading and have a great day!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
The line in the sand.....
Good morning! Somehow I felt compelled to share my thoughts regarding the violence and how it gets reported. Probably because of the reactions that I have seen being shared. Not that long ago, there was a report of a 17 year old kid being shot and killed in Florida. While I have a strong tendency to not split hairs, I have to share that this child was exploited in the racial light. People need to understand that violence happens everywhere and it does not all get reported with such vigor. Just the ones that can create controversial thought.
For at least a century, people have been battling racism... probably longer. Racism is a hot topic that will never truly cool off because of history and personal attachment to diversity. People are exposed to crucial behavior since birth, people get reputations because of the actions of some, and with those preconceived notions being taught... there will always be judgmental behavior. While there has been a slight turn in offering innocence until proven guilty, it has to be understood that not every person is equal because of taught levels of tolerance. A few highlights of history that I can pull out of my head this morning are the equality issues stemming from race and gender. Women fighting for equal rights to men, and people of another race (aka color) fighting for respect. While religion has also become a hot topic with terrorist attacks on 911, people have been exposed to more controversial thought of one another. Please understand that it is not the race, religion or creed that defines the undesirable in people, but the acts that they choose to take upon. Not every person that differs from who you are all the undesirable trait. I have met some really nice people that are labeled "black", "Mexican", "Indian", "Chinese", and so forth. While some people choose to share their heritage by hyphenating their heritage with American, not all these people are truly from these other countries and are legal citizens of this great nation. This is personal segregation and the seed for racism. While I completely disagree in segregation and believe in the context of our constitution that "all men are created equal", I also believe that this does not just limit itself to just men, but women and children, too. While religion does state a little more tolerance and has proven to ask for respect of every living thing, even the fact that religion is becoming ridiculed. The foundation is basically the same... just the practices are different. You have to realize that truly being tolerant takes more than drawing that line in the sand to who you are as a person. Even though we all bleed the same color of blood if we were cut, somehow people still believe that we all differ more just because of what is on the surface. Even though we are entitled to think differently, should not place such emphasis on who is right and who is wrong. Only one is to judge and that is faith based. I just do not see faith passing judgement on its own creation because of different appearance.
As the mainstream media chooses to create sensationalism and controversy, it is the right for every person to have an opinion, but if the facts are skewed because of color, creed, race or gender... then there should be equality in sharing every event and not just the ones that easily create lines being drawn in the sand. Do you see that happening? Nope. Violence happens every day. People are getting hurt all the time. Hiding the fact that there is more violence out there from gangs and people that mentally turned for the worse by choice or by the desire to feel accepted by a group. It is what is learned to be acceptable by those that have the largest influence that becomes habit. Idolizing some rapper that dresses with baggy pants, walks with a certain swagger, and states to "put a cap in the ass" of someone will create a following of individuals that refuse to be individuals in the sea of people. You can call them "lemmings", but it is embracing what they think would make them "cool" or accepted is at fault here. Just have 2 things that manage to get a reputation and combine them, and there you have it.... the ingredients for bigotry and instant fear to act or react. While the mainstream media shows a different picture that shows innocence and purity, they emphasize the filthy, seedy underbelly of the incident. If I was to act like a thug, dress like a thug, and talk like a thug, but be quite intelligent, nice and trustworthy.... where does the judgment stand? Am I a thug or a nice person? If you cannot show who you really are as an individual, then you will be judged upon appearance. Thanks to celebrity from diversity, everyone is up for scrutiny. While people will still fight to stop prejudice, they are adding fuel to the fire by being prejudicial and playing the race, creed or religion card. Nobody has the time nor patience to get all the facts beyond what they see on the surface. As everyone draws a line in the sand, the truth of it all is that battles like this will never end.
Thanks for reading and have a great day.
For at least a century, people have been battling racism... probably longer. Racism is a hot topic that will never truly cool off because of history and personal attachment to diversity. People are exposed to crucial behavior since birth, people get reputations because of the actions of some, and with those preconceived notions being taught... there will always be judgmental behavior. While there has been a slight turn in offering innocence until proven guilty, it has to be understood that not every person is equal because of taught levels of tolerance. A few highlights of history that I can pull out of my head this morning are the equality issues stemming from race and gender. Women fighting for equal rights to men, and people of another race (aka color) fighting for respect. While religion has also become a hot topic with terrorist attacks on 911, people have been exposed to more controversial thought of one another. Please understand that it is not the race, religion or creed that defines the undesirable in people, but the acts that they choose to take upon. Not every person that differs from who you are all the undesirable trait. I have met some really nice people that are labeled "black", "Mexican", "Indian", "Chinese", and so forth. While some people choose to share their heritage by hyphenating their heritage with American, not all these people are truly from these other countries and are legal citizens of this great nation. This is personal segregation and the seed for racism. While I completely disagree in segregation and believe in the context of our constitution that "all men are created equal", I also believe that this does not just limit itself to just men, but women and children, too. While religion does state a little more tolerance and has proven to ask for respect of every living thing, even the fact that religion is becoming ridiculed. The foundation is basically the same... just the practices are different. You have to realize that truly being tolerant takes more than drawing that line in the sand to who you are as a person. Even though we all bleed the same color of blood if we were cut, somehow people still believe that we all differ more just because of what is on the surface. Even though we are entitled to think differently, should not place such emphasis on who is right and who is wrong. Only one is to judge and that is faith based. I just do not see faith passing judgement on its own creation because of different appearance.
As the mainstream media chooses to create sensationalism and controversy, it is the right for every person to have an opinion, but if the facts are skewed because of color, creed, race or gender... then there should be equality in sharing every event and not just the ones that easily create lines being drawn in the sand. Do you see that happening? Nope. Violence happens every day. People are getting hurt all the time. Hiding the fact that there is more violence out there from gangs and people that mentally turned for the worse by choice or by the desire to feel accepted by a group. It is what is learned to be acceptable by those that have the largest influence that becomes habit. Idolizing some rapper that dresses with baggy pants, walks with a certain swagger, and states to "put a cap in the ass" of someone will create a following of individuals that refuse to be individuals in the sea of people. You can call them "lemmings", but it is embracing what they think would make them "cool" or accepted is at fault here. Just have 2 things that manage to get a reputation and combine them, and there you have it.... the ingredients for bigotry and instant fear to act or react. While the mainstream media shows a different picture that shows innocence and purity, they emphasize the filthy, seedy underbelly of the incident. If I was to act like a thug, dress like a thug, and talk like a thug, but be quite intelligent, nice and trustworthy.... where does the judgment stand? Am I a thug or a nice person? If you cannot show who you really are as an individual, then you will be judged upon appearance. Thanks to celebrity from diversity, everyone is up for scrutiny. While people will still fight to stop prejudice, they are adding fuel to the fire by being prejudicial and playing the race, creed or religion card. Nobody has the time nor patience to get all the facts beyond what they see on the surface. As everyone draws a line in the sand, the truth of it all is that battles like this will never end.
Thanks for reading and have a great day.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Weighing options....
Good morning! Sorry for the late posting of my "flossing" moments. I was up at the crack of dawn, getting ready for an interview with a staffing agency that has been calling me over the past couple of days. While it has been known that I am seeking a stable-paying job to assist in the family financial dynamics, I never thought that someone could offer complete confidence in a job that I have had no actual experience in. I have always believed that I am quite the "eager beaver" when it comes to challenges, I have the ability to adapt to new things, I have a very strong work ethic, and the desire to broaden my learning experience, but when something just happens to land in my lap... I seem to feel a little insecure. Chances are, I have been trying for so long with no actual offer of a job, I feel that I am the least likely candidate for anything beyond being a hairdresser or a cashier at a store. While during the time I was actively working full time (before having my daughter), I managed to take risks and changed careers in search for something that feels rewarding and even a little challenging. Being a quick study in whatever I choose to do, I tend to fully immerse myself in every aspect of my responsibilities in the job at hand. With rejection after rejection the past few years in areas I felt semi-comfortable in being able to learn the job remotely quick, I did come to the conclusion that with my "out of the loop" years being a full time mother and caregiver to my child and the backbone to keeping things running smoothly for the family and our home life has put me at a disadvantage when it comes to reentering the office world. Being someone that refuses to drag down the fluidity of a workplace with endless questions and minimal patience when it comes to being trained for something beyond a simple task that gets repeated (always predictable outcomes)... I feel quite scared in taking on a job where I have zero prior experience, a fast paced environment, and way too many areas where errors can create a terrible outcome. Not saying that I strive to be perfect right out of the gate when I take on a job, but I do take pride in being able to be thorough with minimal errors.
For quite a while, I have dreamed and dreaded entering the full time world because I have put in so much of myself into caring for my family... I would feel that I have failed in my promise to be there at all times. You see, when I focus on something.... I am putting in 110%... yes, well beyond what it seen as possible in the realm of percentages. The dream of going back to the full time workplace stems from my desire to actually do more for those that I care about most. Seeing DH stress himself into the world of Atrial Fibrillation and high blood pressure because he is the number one breadwinner of our household is something I hate to see. The only time he seems to be most at ease is when the weekend comes along and I am there to take care of DD. Basically, only one day out of seven is his day of actual relaxation. Even though I know that while I am away at my part time hairdressing job, he is borderline comatose on the couch and basically unmotivated to do anything around the house... He does take a moment or two to at least keep DD on her toes with playing the bantering game.
Knowing that DD is not getting any younger and should be responsible enough to do things on her own and even have a little independence, I just have a small issue when it comes to trust and taking on responsibility to the nth degree. While I am aware that her motivational skills to do anything beyond blast her eardrums with punk music from her mp3 player and play games on the computer is non-existent... my concerns for her being home alone for more than a couple of hours stem from her trusting nature of people and her inability to follow the rules as stated. Catching her in that unsupervised chat room was a huge neon sign that her trusting nature of people will open the door to her being in danger while my back is turned. The past year she has shown a little more respect to the rules, but at the ripe age of 12... she will try to test her boundaries in the most unsettling way.
Now, when it comes to timing.... If I take on this job, go through the training, and fully immerse myself into this job... I know that I will have issues to family life as we know it. Starting this late in the year can still offer opportunities to send my child off to summer camp and I could call upon the help of family to pick up the slack where I cannot chauffeur her to and from places and possibly ask for their help for when she gets sick. It is the inconveniencing factor that bothers me. I hold true to the fact that having a child consists of heavier responsibility. This is my child and she is my responsibility. Not everyone will be willing to take on caring for my child because I have a job. These people have a life, too. While people will be willing to help, there is a strong possibility that once being called upon too much will cause resentment and the desire to just say "no" when I need the help the most. I have seen DH's attention to his job and also his inability to become flexible to where our daughter is concerned. Most likely because his father worked and had very little patience with participating in caring for his children. His mother did everything for their kids and was never required to have a job. She was there well after her kids were fully grown and on their own.... and still is. Nowadays, my in-laws travel a lot and are reaping the rewards of a tight budget and years of sacrifice.... Good for them, but does not offer much in helping out with their grandchildren. My mom with her health issues and endless doctors appointments does not offer much flexibility in helping me, either, but she does try to arrange things to help as often as she can. So starting now and utilizing every penny I make to pay for a summer camp program is possible. At least I know that DD is being entertained while I am away.
Last thought before making my list of pros and cons.... Besides acknowledging that I have enabled lazy behavior from DH and DD, I am not sure that I am fully convinced that I will get a chance to "take a breather" after working 6 days a week. Yes, I fully intend on keeping my hairdressing job on Saturdays. I have built a clientele that I am proud of, I enjoy the work, and having a little "mad money" is nice since I will most likely never see a penny from my full time job. The money that I will be making from that job is going towards the greater good of the family, so what I make from working at the salon will be something I can stake claim as money for me to do as I wish. I have given opportunities to DH and DD to take the reigns of some responsibility in our home, but have not seen any opportunities taken. I try to be everything to them, but I cannot if my focus has been diverted. There needs to be some level of teamwork needed in order to keep things running smoothly. I just cannot fathom working full days for 6 days in a row and still manage all the responsibilities in the home. DD and DH are quite stubborn and suffer from some serious clutter blindness, as I, on the other hand, has little patience for things that need to be done. I attribute my determination to getting things done because my parents instilled a very strong work ethic in me. I would gather that I could be great in management of a team because I am not afraid to roll up my sleeves and work... Setting an example of never allowing for things to sit an the wayside and be doled out to another that has their day full of work in front of them. In my past work experience, I came across only one manager that actually participated in all aspects of the job and actually worked with their team. I loved that job, but sadly that person was promoted and the new manager that took their place was not as ambitious. I tried to transfer, but was denied because this new manager liked that I did more than my fellow co-workers and made it easy for them to sit and reap the rewards from my efforts. Being in a non-equal environment burnt me out and no opportunity for growth or movement... I ended up leaving.
With the uncertainty of actually being the best candidate for a career that I felt confused in listening to, but feeling confident that I am capable of learning.... I need to take today to think things thoroughly and decide if I should take the chance if this company is willing to take a chance on me or pass on this opportunity and hope that something that I feel a little more confident about comes along. Life does not come with a crystal ball that can tell me if this is the path I should take. I would be heartbroken for that employer if I was nothing like they expected and did more damage than good. I do not have one vindictive bone in my body and wishes for everyone to succeed.... even me, but taking a chance that I feel uncertain about because I am "behind the times" might not be the right fit for me or the company... It could possibly be a success or a complete and utter failure. Time to take some Advil for my splitting headache and really think this thing through.
Thanks for reading.... Have a great day!
For quite a while, I have dreamed and dreaded entering the full time world because I have put in so much of myself into caring for my family... I would feel that I have failed in my promise to be there at all times. You see, when I focus on something.... I am putting in 110%... yes, well beyond what it seen as possible in the realm of percentages. The dream of going back to the full time workplace stems from my desire to actually do more for those that I care about most. Seeing DH stress himself into the world of Atrial Fibrillation and high blood pressure because he is the number one breadwinner of our household is something I hate to see. The only time he seems to be most at ease is when the weekend comes along and I am there to take care of DD. Basically, only one day out of seven is his day of actual relaxation. Even though I know that while I am away at my part time hairdressing job, he is borderline comatose on the couch and basically unmotivated to do anything around the house... He does take a moment or two to at least keep DD on her toes with playing the bantering game.
Knowing that DD is not getting any younger and should be responsible enough to do things on her own and even have a little independence, I just have a small issue when it comes to trust and taking on responsibility to the nth degree. While I am aware that her motivational skills to do anything beyond blast her eardrums with punk music from her mp3 player and play games on the computer is non-existent... my concerns for her being home alone for more than a couple of hours stem from her trusting nature of people and her inability to follow the rules as stated. Catching her in that unsupervised chat room was a huge neon sign that her trusting nature of people will open the door to her being in danger while my back is turned. The past year she has shown a little more respect to the rules, but at the ripe age of 12... she will try to test her boundaries in the most unsettling way.
Now, when it comes to timing.... If I take on this job, go through the training, and fully immerse myself into this job... I know that I will have issues to family life as we know it. Starting this late in the year can still offer opportunities to send my child off to summer camp and I could call upon the help of family to pick up the slack where I cannot chauffeur her to and from places and possibly ask for their help for when she gets sick. It is the inconveniencing factor that bothers me. I hold true to the fact that having a child consists of heavier responsibility. This is my child and she is my responsibility. Not everyone will be willing to take on caring for my child because I have a job. These people have a life, too. While people will be willing to help, there is a strong possibility that once being called upon too much will cause resentment and the desire to just say "no" when I need the help the most. I have seen DH's attention to his job and also his inability to become flexible to where our daughter is concerned. Most likely because his father worked and had very little patience with participating in caring for his children. His mother did everything for their kids and was never required to have a job. She was there well after her kids were fully grown and on their own.... and still is. Nowadays, my in-laws travel a lot and are reaping the rewards of a tight budget and years of sacrifice.... Good for them, but does not offer much in helping out with their grandchildren. My mom with her health issues and endless doctors appointments does not offer much flexibility in helping me, either, but she does try to arrange things to help as often as she can. So starting now and utilizing every penny I make to pay for a summer camp program is possible. At least I know that DD is being entertained while I am away.
Last thought before making my list of pros and cons.... Besides acknowledging that I have enabled lazy behavior from DH and DD, I am not sure that I am fully convinced that I will get a chance to "take a breather" after working 6 days a week. Yes, I fully intend on keeping my hairdressing job on Saturdays. I have built a clientele that I am proud of, I enjoy the work, and having a little "mad money" is nice since I will most likely never see a penny from my full time job. The money that I will be making from that job is going towards the greater good of the family, so what I make from working at the salon will be something I can stake claim as money for me to do as I wish. I have given opportunities to DH and DD to take the reigns of some responsibility in our home, but have not seen any opportunities taken. I try to be everything to them, but I cannot if my focus has been diverted. There needs to be some level of teamwork needed in order to keep things running smoothly. I just cannot fathom working full days for 6 days in a row and still manage all the responsibilities in the home. DD and DH are quite stubborn and suffer from some serious clutter blindness, as I, on the other hand, has little patience for things that need to be done. I attribute my determination to getting things done because my parents instilled a very strong work ethic in me. I would gather that I could be great in management of a team because I am not afraid to roll up my sleeves and work... Setting an example of never allowing for things to sit an the wayside and be doled out to another that has their day full of work in front of them. In my past work experience, I came across only one manager that actually participated in all aspects of the job and actually worked with their team. I loved that job, but sadly that person was promoted and the new manager that took their place was not as ambitious. I tried to transfer, but was denied because this new manager liked that I did more than my fellow co-workers and made it easy for them to sit and reap the rewards from my efforts. Being in a non-equal environment burnt me out and no opportunity for growth or movement... I ended up leaving.
With the uncertainty of actually being the best candidate for a career that I felt confused in listening to, but feeling confident that I am capable of learning.... I need to take today to think things thoroughly and decide if I should take the chance if this company is willing to take a chance on me or pass on this opportunity and hope that something that I feel a little more confident about comes along. Life does not come with a crystal ball that can tell me if this is the path I should take. I would be heartbroken for that employer if I was nothing like they expected and did more damage than good. I do not have one vindictive bone in my body and wishes for everyone to succeed.... even me, but taking a chance that I feel uncertain about because I am "behind the times" might not be the right fit for me or the company... It could possibly be a success or a complete and utter failure. Time to take some Advil for my splitting headache and really think this thing through.
Thanks for reading.... Have a great day!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Reactions....
Morning friends... I just have a few little things on my mind today and they all have to do with reactions to things.
Reactions usually do not match what we think. While we do have an idea about how we would react to something.... it never seems to match our thoughts exactly. Especially when the opportunity arises when we were not exactly ready for it.
Example: You hope, wish and pray that your significant other pays a little more attention to you. Seeing others in relationships with their public displays of affection can make you yearn for some of that from the person you are with, but after being together for so long, that area of a relationship seems to take a very far back burner. Just having a person grab your hand is something you would like to have happen while taking an evening stroll would be nice, but alas.... You are with a person that does not hold those little "PDA's" in high regard. Then suddenly, that person runs over, sits real close to you while you are on the couch, and cuddles with you. This throws you for a loop and react in a way that seems less welcoming than you would have thought. That happened to me one evening. DH decides to become a little more open to something that has not been offered to me in years and I reacted like he had "cooties" because I was not in the same place mentally as he was. After that reaction I had, I am pretty sure that his desire to do something with a remote sense of spontaneity will be stopped before he acts in the future. Actually kind of a bummer. Getting a little more attention or that "mushy romantic antics" is what I was looking for and smashed that like a bug because I reacted the wrong way. While I tried to explain away my reaction and tried to keep the door open for potential future moments of romantic spontaneity... I fear I just might have changed his mind to never trying again. You see.... opposite reaction than thought. If I would have reacted the way I thought I would have (with complete appreciation and open arms)... Chances are, I just might get a little more attention from DH that I would like to have because he would not feel rejected from his actions.
How about this example... You are informed by a neighbor that there has been a string of break-ins of cars on our block. Totally random nights, but it happens somewhere between midnight and 5am. While you have believed that you live in an area that does not experience all that criminal activity (even though it is required to lock your doors at night anyway and that a few random acts of violence towards Christmas decorations is quite low in feeling violated), you manage to hear someone camping outside your home at 2am. Yep, some random dude decided to park his car right across the street from my house and flit around between being in and out of his car as well as opening and closing his trunk for things. It was not a person I recognized when I looked out my window. After watching this person's weird antics and suspicious behavior for roughly 15 minutes (realizing that this guy decided to just park there to grab a beer from his trunk and smoke some pot before heading to his place of residence), I suddenly realized that my reaction was different than what I should have been doing (which was calling the police when I first noticed him there hanging out on the side of the road). I became the "watchdog" for my family. That should not be my job, but in a way... I am the guardian of my family. I would be the first one to risk my life for them. Was my inability to call 911 right away from realizing that I had poor reaction skills from when DH decided to cuddle a while back? Or is it some odd desire to do something big for my family by protecting them the absolutely stupid way since I feel that my efforts are not seen or heard from them? I mean, I eventually did call 911, but the dude left before the cops drove by. Even after seeing that there was a police presence in my neighborhood, I still could not get to sleep.
How about this example... Your child brings home a pop quiz that they took and aced. While your child seeks approval of a job well done, you offer a not-too-enthusiastic comment of praise. Saying "great job" does lose its luster if the tone is not enthusiastic enough. Fortunately, DD did ask about my level of enthusiasm when I did say that she did a great job on her pop quiz. I at least got the opportunity to explain why my tone did not match the pride I have for her.... You see, there is a level of excitement that a parent should have for their child's efforts when you know that your child is being challenged. I have heard from numerous people that my child is quite intelligent. When she applies herself, she exceeds what is considered "the norm" for a child her age. It just has been customary for my child to not put in 100% effort all the time. Previous projects where she did not do as well as she could was proof to her (and me) that she likes to see what level of effort is needed to just be average and get a passing grade. Yep, she has lazy tendencies. Interestingly enough, I know from which side of the family that portrays that behavior... My side of the family. While my parents pushed for all their children to do the very best we can, it was known that my brother (as intelligent as he is), strove to "aim low" because he could. When he felt like really shining... he really shined. I believe I pale in comparison in talent and intellect to my brother. I tried my best all the time and still got average grades from time to time. So as my level of excitement was low towards DD's acing her pop quiz, it was not really because I was not thrilled for her... it was just the fact that I knew she is capable of doing that well. Being excited over something you know would happen because they are capable with little effort is just masking fact with being over dramatic. She at least knows that I am proud of her... just not insanely over excited.
You see, reactions happen, but not always the way you or others expect you to react. Reactions are involuntary when thought is not put into play. While we do think about how we should react, it does not necessarily happen as planned because emotions, environment, and some sense of expectation can cloud how we need to see things. With DH's sudden PDA actions... I reacted to something I did not see coming and rarely ever get to experience. With becoming the watchdog that one evening... I let fear, curiosity, and stupid bravery take over. With DD's aced quiz... I downplayed my emotion because I knew she was capable. It just has to be realized that if a person takes the time to ask about a non-desired reaction, there would be a better understanding to why a reaction is not always what you expect and less drama in reacting to someone else's reaction.
Thanks for reading.... Have a great day!
Reactions usually do not match what we think. While we do have an idea about how we would react to something.... it never seems to match our thoughts exactly. Especially when the opportunity arises when we were not exactly ready for it.
Example: You hope, wish and pray that your significant other pays a little more attention to you. Seeing others in relationships with their public displays of affection can make you yearn for some of that from the person you are with, but after being together for so long, that area of a relationship seems to take a very far back burner. Just having a person grab your hand is something you would like to have happen while taking an evening stroll would be nice, but alas.... You are with a person that does not hold those little "PDA's" in high regard. Then suddenly, that person runs over, sits real close to you while you are on the couch, and cuddles with you. This throws you for a loop and react in a way that seems less welcoming than you would have thought. That happened to me one evening. DH decides to become a little more open to something that has not been offered to me in years and I reacted like he had "cooties" because I was not in the same place mentally as he was. After that reaction I had, I am pretty sure that his desire to do something with a remote sense of spontaneity will be stopped before he acts in the future. Actually kind of a bummer. Getting a little more attention or that "mushy romantic antics" is what I was looking for and smashed that like a bug because I reacted the wrong way. While I tried to explain away my reaction and tried to keep the door open for potential future moments of romantic spontaneity... I fear I just might have changed his mind to never trying again. You see.... opposite reaction than thought. If I would have reacted the way I thought I would have (with complete appreciation and open arms)... Chances are, I just might get a little more attention from DH that I would like to have because he would not feel rejected from his actions.
How about this example... You are informed by a neighbor that there has been a string of break-ins of cars on our block. Totally random nights, but it happens somewhere between midnight and 5am. While you have believed that you live in an area that does not experience all that criminal activity (even though it is required to lock your doors at night anyway and that a few random acts of violence towards Christmas decorations is quite low in feeling violated), you manage to hear someone camping outside your home at 2am. Yep, some random dude decided to park his car right across the street from my house and flit around between being in and out of his car as well as opening and closing his trunk for things. It was not a person I recognized when I looked out my window. After watching this person's weird antics and suspicious behavior for roughly 15 minutes (realizing that this guy decided to just park there to grab a beer from his trunk and smoke some pot before heading to his place of residence), I suddenly realized that my reaction was different than what I should have been doing (which was calling the police when I first noticed him there hanging out on the side of the road). I became the "watchdog" for my family. That should not be my job, but in a way... I am the guardian of my family. I would be the first one to risk my life for them. Was my inability to call 911 right away from realizing that I had poor reaction skills from when DH decided to cuddle a while back? Or is it some odd desire to do something big for my family by protecting them the absolutely stupid way since I feel that my efforts are not seen or heard from them? I mean, I eventually did call 911, but the dude left before the cops drove by. Even after seeing that there was a police presence in my neighborhood, I still could not get to sleep.
How about this example... Your child brings home a pop quiz that they took and aced. While your child seeks approval of a job well done, you offer a not-too-enthusiastic comment of praise. Saying "great job" does lose its luster if the tone is not enthusiastic enough. Fortunately, DD did ask about my level of enthusiasm when I did say that she did a great job on her pop quiz. I at least got the opportunity to explain why my tone did not match the pride I have for her.... You see, there is a level of excitement that a parent should have for their child's efforts when you know that your child is being challenged. I have heard from numerous people that my child is quite intelligent. When she applies herself, she exceeds what is considered "the norm" for a child her age. It just has been customary for my child to not put in 100% effort all the time. Previous projects where she did not do as well as she could was proof to her (and me) that she likes to see what level of effort is needed to just be average and get a passing grade. Yep, she has lazy tendencies. Interestingly enough, I know from which side of the family that portrays that behavior... My side of the family. While my parents pushed for all their children to do the very best we can, it was known that my brother (as intelligent as he is), strove to "aim low" because he could. When he felt like really shining... he really shined. I believe I pale in comparison in talent and intellect to my brother. I tried my best all the time and still got average grades from time to time. So as my level of excitement was low towards DD's acing her pop quiz, it was not really because I was not thrilled for her... it was just the fact that I knew she is capable of doing that well. Being excited over something you know would happen because they are capable with little effort is just masking fact with being over dramatic. She at least knows that I am proud of her... just not insanely over excited.
You see, reactions happen, but not always the way you or others expect you to react. Reactions are involuntary when thought is not put into play. While we do think about how we should react, it does not necessarily happen as planned because emotions, environment, and some sense of expectation can cloud how we need to see things. With DH's sudden PDA actions... I reacted to something I did not see coming and rarely ever get to experience. With becoming the watchdog that one evening... I let fear, curiosity, and stupid bravery take over. With DD's aced quiz... I downplayed my emotion because I knew she was capable. It just has to be realized that if a person takes the time to ask about a non-desired reaction, there would be a better understanding to why a reaction is not always what you expect and less drama in reacting to someone else's reaction.
Thanks for reading.... Have a great day!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Biting the bullet....
Morning friends! Yet again I fall weak to my convictions about my weight loss journey and sharing this today should be a raging neon sign that I am going to own up to something I wanted to not put on this blog, but decided to anyway. Yep, that promise to not share my "private little hell" when it comes to trying to win at losing weight on my Mental Floss blog page is broken again. My apologies....
I have been a total slacker in living the WW lifestyle. For those that have not followed my previous blogs... WW stands for Weight Watchers. Yes, I joined that bandwagon back in August and figured I would be half way to my goal weight by now, but alas, I am not. The process has been painfully slow and just to get a mere 20 pounds off my body felt more like I was watching the movie, "Titanic" in slide show form. Every minuscule movement shot in one slide and shared in another.... Kind of like making a "claymation" film. Took me almost 3 months to hit still waters in the weight loss world. Floating around that milestone for two more months frustrated me to avoiding those weekly meetings and never bothering to track my eating habits. While I kept a mental note of what I was doing, I know that I allowed for slip-ups to occur. Mental stress over things that I have zero control over put me in shut-down mode when it came to going to the gym and even doing some serious cleaning in my home. Luckily, the weather has been nice and I finally got my cleaning mojo back and did some serious cleaning. Almost at being fully caught up from my slacker moments, I actually feel a little better.
Then reality has set in. I have been a member of WW and missed a load of meetings. While I have no problem listening to someone's successful journey, I just cannot fathom becoming what these meeting leaders became.... Bitter women that hate food or exercise junkies or a mix of the two. The last meeting I attended, I watched this food Nazi stick post-its all over her body as an example that every "bite, lick, or taste" of food lands somewhere. Really, if everything I eat has a place to take up residence, then I should sew my mouth shut, get an IV of vital vitamins and fluids and watch the weight just fall off like I wish it would. Of course, she was making an example of all those WW "taboo" foods. Feeling like life as we know it needs to be some kind of mental brainwashing over foods that people do enjoy from time to time. One example : Birthday cake. While the idea of something special to celebrate an anniversary of sorts is a rare thing when you get older, but the comments made of a potential germ-fest once the candles are blown out does kill the thought of having a slice. I like cake, but not liking the idea of getting sick because someone breathed on it. Then there are the stories of how the weight just fell off at an alarming rate because someone takes a 5-mile walk to get a Starbucks coffee every morning. While I am not a coffee drinker, I just cannot fathom getting up at the crack of dawn "jonesing" for the morning caffeine fix and taking a hike to get some. If rewards need to have a minimal 5-mile jaunt to get them, I would rather just suffer taking the next closest thing and stay where I am. Hearing this woman do this through rain, sleet, snow, and frigid temperatures makes her a better candidate to be a mail carrier than a WW meeting leader. Well, that would have to be some awesome coffee to get me to do something like that.
I just know that being successful takes effort and I have been lacking for quite a while. I am a worrisome person by nature. Stress stops me dead in its tracks. Food becomes a crutch to face another day. Chocolate is my friend during the times I feel the most alone. With DH coming home later and later at night during the week, I know that I have become the mindless snacker. Monthly cravings of chocolate to keep hormonal outbursts at bay is not going to get me to where I need to be. Summer is almost here and shedding the winter clothes should be something I would rather look forward to compared to the dread I am feeling at this moment. Yes, while I have increased eating through stress or boredom, I have made choices that are more WW approved.... Apples, bananas, and yogurt. Vegetables at every meal. Measuring and weighing everything. I look like I have been doing good on the surface, but with lack of exercise and my week of chocolate cravings... I fear the darn scale.
Today, I decided to "bite the bullet" and start a new, clean slate for this journey I lost focus on. With the weather being quite nice, I should start adding a daily walk or maybe a visit to the gym. I just need to get over the fear of seeing where my living without being a total Nazi over food has taken me. Sigh, back to WW and their lifestyle is what I am doing today. Now off to face the scale, listen to a person tell me that life needs to be controlled every step of the way, and try to embrace a lifestyle that I just cannot get a handle on. Wish me luck that when I see what the scale says I do not beat myself down more than I have already been doing.
Have a good day everyone!
I have been a total slacker in living the WW lifestyle. For those that have not followed my previous blogs... WW stands for Weight Watchers. Yes, I joined that bandwagon back in August and figured I would be half way to my goal weight by now, but alas, I am not. The process has been painfully slow and just to get a mere 20 pounds off my body felt more like I was watching the movie, "Titanic" in slide show form. Every minuscule movement shot in one slide and shared in another.... Kind of like making a "claymation" film. Took me almost 3 months to hit still waters in the weight loss world. Floating around that milestone for two more months frustrated me to avoiding those weekly meetings and never bothering to track my eating habits. While I kept a mental note of what I was doing, I know that I allowed for slip-ups to occur. Mental stress over things that I have zero control over put me in shut-down mode when it came to going to the gym and even doing some serious cleaning in my home. Luckily, the weather has been nice and I finally got my cleaning mojo back and did some serious cleaning. Almost at being fully caught up from my slacker moments, I actually feel a little better.
Then reality has set in. I have been a member of WW and missed a load of meetings. While I have no problem listening to someone's successful journey, I just cannot fathom becoming what these meeting leaders became.... Bitter women that hate food or exercise junkies or a mix of the two. The last meeting I attended, I watched this food Nazi stick post-its all over her body as an example that every "bite, lick, or taste" of food lands somewhere. Really, if everything I eat has a place to take up residence, then I should sew my mouth shut, get an IV of vital vitamins and fluids and watch the weight just fall off like I wish it would. Of course, she was making an example of all those WW "taboo" foods. Feeling like life as we know it needs to be some kind of mental brainwashing over foods that people do enjoy from time to time. One example : Birthday cake. While the idea of something special to celebrate an anniversary of sorts is a rare thing when you get older, but the comments made of a potential germ-fest once the candles are blown out does kill the thought of having a slice. I like cake, but not liking the idea of getting sick because someone breathed on it. Then there are the stories of how the weight just fell off at an alarming rate because someone takes a 5-mile walk to get a Starbucks coffee every morning. While I am not a coffee drinker, I just cannot fathom getting up at the crack of dawn "jonesing" for the morning caffeine fix and taking a hike to get some. If rewards need to have a minimal 5-mile jaunt to get them, I would rather just suffer taking the next closest thing and stay where I am. Hearing this woman do this through rain, sleet, snow, and frigid temperatures makes her a better candidate to be a mail carrier than a WW meeting leader. Well, that would have to be some awesome coffee to get me to do something like that.
I just know that being successful takes effort and I have been lacking for quite a while. I am a worrisome person by nature. Stress stops me dead in its tracks. Food becomes a crutch to face another day. Chocolate is my friend during the times I feel the most alone. With DH coming home later and later at night during the week, I know that I have become the mindless snacker. Monthly cravings of chocolate to keep hormonal outbursts at bay is not going to get me to where I need to be. Summer is almost here and shedding the winter clothes should be something I would rather look forward to compared to the dread I am feeling at this moment. Yes, while I have increased eating through stress or boredom, I have made choices that are more WW approved.... Apples, bananas, and yogurt. Vegetables at every meal. Measuring and weighing everything. I look like I have been doing good on the surface, but with lack of exercise and my week of chocolate cravings... I fear the darn scale.
Today, I decided to "bite the bullet" and start a new, clean slate for this journey I lost focus on. With the weather being quite nice, I should start adding a daily walk or maybe a visit to the gym. I just need to get over the fear of seeing where my living without being a total Nazi over food has taken me. Sigh, back to WW and their lifestyle is what I am doing today. Now off to face the scale, listen to a person tell me that life needs to be controlled every step of the way, and try to embrace a lifestyle that I just cannot get a handle on. Wish me luck that when I see what the scale says I do not beat myself down more than I have already been doing.
Have a good day everyone!
Friday, March 16, 2012
There are two sides to every sword.....
Darned if you do and darned if you don't..... The classic "double standard" statement.
Ever notice even the smallest of achievements having repercussions? Not everyone thinks the same, not everyone believes in the same thing, and even more obviously..... No person can truly stand by their statement with 100% conviction. It is all about angles in how a person looks at something.
I have seen and even heard contradictory things lately... and I can even agree that my previous beliefs over some things have what I call, "a gray area". While there are a select few that see things as "black or white", there is a very large "gray" area that brings to light the truth behind the "double standard".
Here are a some examples of what I mean....
* As people discuss the increase of violence created by children via gangs or criminal tendencies out of boredom (yes, I am mentioning about previous acts of vandalism at my home when it came to my Christmas Decorations being destroyed and/or stolen a while back). While most parents (and others I have heard from), state that it is the parent should be held accountable for their child's bad behavior because they should have control over their children. Well, then when is it the child's fault if they are the ones given the freedom to do as they choose because their parents have to work and cannot focus 100% on them? If a parent has to work, they cannot fully focus on their job and their child at the same time. Double standard... work and leave your child to their own devises or stay home and continue to teach your children right from wrong. Either way, someone will tell you that you are wrong.
* Politics: something everyone is aware of, but is angered by. After a marathon of automated calls from the candidates running for office, the long-winded and automated message over property taxes getting out of control, and even those automated calls that have no political undertones (you know, saving interest on your credit card bill, saving on your electric bill, etc.) have me on the verge of yanking my home phone out of the wall. The ones that seem to have more prevalence to the double standard are the ones that scream politics and politicians.... "Vote for this guy and not that guy", "did you know that this guy voted against something we needed?", "did you know that this guy voted for something we did not need?", and the most recent one (since I had to stop typing to answer the phone... "Did you know that this candidate wants you to ignore his past 20 years in politics..." (I hung up after hearing that one). Really, has there ever been one politician that has been running for office ever really offered something of a solution compared to the ridiculous bashing of their competition? I have not heard one thing from any candidate or potential candidate that offers facts about themselves that is pertinent to deciding if they are remotely qualified for the job? While everyone came from somewhere and did something in their lives... hearing that they grew up poor, or struggled to become successful means absolutely nothing when it comes to relating to people. People change, their agendas change, their abilities differ.... Even what they voted for or against has no explanation to why. Show me the compelling reasons behind their actions and I might feel a little favoritism... spew out half-truths and you lost my attention. If lets say, a presidential candidate voted for abortion rights and is personally against it.... wouldn't it be more compelling to know why they voted like they did? Did they just act like a lemming and followed suit to what was popular? Did they agree on some compelling part of the argument like pregnancy through molestation or rape being a valid reason to abort? What makes them decide to choose is what I would want to know. That is more compelling than labeling a person a hypocrite for their choices or a bad person for the job if they do not necessarily agree with your thoughts 100%. People have to realize that there is more to that job than we think. That one person decides for the masses and not just you. While we would tend to believe that we all agree on things, there will always be a different view that offers the opportunity to change your mind.
* Arguing over beliefs. Expanding a little more on the topic of abortion, if you do not mind.... While I teeter on the fence over abortion, I have some beliefs that put me in that position and will probably never fully agree on one side of the fence over the other. Here is where I agree: I believe that it is the choice of the woman, but the reason needs to be valid... such as rape, incest and molestation. If a woman chooses because their actions would cramp their lifestyle (aka a form of birth control)... then I am against it. If you choose to have unprotected sex, you are already fully aware of the risks involved. Now, when it comes to risks to one's life or the unborn child's.... That should be the choice of the potential mother and father. While I do see that life begins in the womb, it is about the life that comes from it and the commitment of care that can be offered. Not everyone is perfect, but it does take a very special person to commit to the life of a special needs child and they should be given the chance for survival. There are plenty of people that are willing to adopt and that option should be highlighted if a potential mother feels that they are capable to raise a child. As you can see... I cannot commit to agreeing or disagreeing with the choice a person should be entitled to make, but there are some parameters that create compelling arguments. Those compelling arguments create the double standard when perceptions cannot be completely related.
So.... long story short.... There will always be a double standard. No longer are the perceptions of "black or white" as long as there are gray areas that can change the result. Not one thing can be 100% one way or the other. If that was the case..... nobody learns and nobody truly understands.
Thanks for reading. Have a great day everyone!
Ever notice even the smallest of achievements having repercussions? Not everyone thinks the same, not everyone believes in the same thing, and even more obviously..... No person can truly stand by their statement with 100% conviction. It is all about angles in how a person looks at something.
I have seen and even heard contradictory things lately... and I can even agree that my previous beliefs over some things have what I call, "a gray area". While there are a select few that see things as "black or white", there is a very large "gray" area that brings to light the truth behind the "double standard".
Here are a some examples of what I mean....
* As people discuss the increase of violence created by children via gangs or criminal tendencies out of boredom (yes, I am mentioning about previous acts of vandalism at my home when it came to my Christmas Decorations being destroyed and/or stolen a while back). While most parents (and others I have heard from), state that it is the parent should be held accountable for their child's bad behavior because they should have control over their children. Well, then when is it the child's fault if they are the ones given the freedom to do as they choose because their parents have to work and cannot focus 100% on them? If a parent has to work, they cannot fully focus on their job and their child at the same time. Double standard... work and leave your child to their own devises or stay home and continue to teach your children right from wrong. Either way, someone will tell you that you are wrong.
* Politics: something everyone is aware of, but is angered by. After a marathon of automated calls from the candidates running for office, the long-winded and automated message over property taxes getting out of control, and even those automated calls that have no political undertones (you know, saving interest on your credit card bill, saving on your electric bill, etc.) have me on the verge of yanking my home phone out of the wall. The ones that seem to have more prevalence to the double standard are the ones that scream politics and politicians.... "Vote for this guy and not that guy", "did you know that this guy voted against something we needed?", "did you know that this guy voted for something we did not need?", and the most recent one (since I had to stop typing to answer the phone... "Did you know that this candidate wants you to ignore his past 20 years in politics..." (I hung up after hearing that one). Really, has there ever been one politician that has been running for office ever really offered something of a solution compared to the ridiculous bashing of their competition? I have not heard one thing from any candidate or potential candidate that offers facts about themselves that is pertinent to deciding if they are remotely qualified for the job? While everyone came from somewhere and did something in their lives... hearing that they grew up poor, or struggled to become successful means absolutely nothing when it comes to relating to people. People change, their agendas change, their abilities differ.... Even what they voted for or against has no explanation to why. Show me the compelling reasons behind their actions and I might feel a little favoritism... spew out half-truths and you lost my attention. If lets say, a presidential candidate voted for abortion rights and is personally against it.... wouldn't it be more compelling to know why they voted like they did? Did they just act like a lemming and followed suit to what was popular? Did they agree on some compelling part of the argument like pregnancy through molestation or rape being a valid reason to abort? What makes them decide to choose is what I would want to know. That is more compelling than labeling a person a hypocrite for their choices or a bad person for the job if they do not necessarily agree with your thoughts 100%. People have to realize that there is more to that job than we think. That one person decides for the masses and not just you. While we would tend to believe that we all agree on things, there will always be a different view that offers the opportunity to change your mind.
* Arguing over beliefs. Expanding a little more on the topic of abortion, if you do not mind.... While I teeter on the fence over abortion, I have some beliefs that put me in that position and will probably never fully agree on one side of the fence over the other. Here is where I agree: I believe that it is the choice of the woman, but the reason needs to be valid... such as rape, incest and molestation. If a woman chooses because their actions would cramp their lifestyle (aka a form of birth control)... then I am against it. If you choose to have unprotected sex, you are already fully aware of the risks involved. Now, when it comes to risks to one's life or the unborn child's.... That should be the choice of the potential mother and father. While I do see that life begins in the womb, it is about the life that comes from it and the commitment of care that can be offered. Not everyone is perfect, but it does take a very special person to commit to the life of a special needs child and they should be given the chance for survival. There are plenty of people that are willing to adopt and that option should be highlighted if a potential mother feels that they are capable to raise a child. As you can see... I cannot commit to agreeing or disagreeing with the choice a person should be entitled to make, but there are some parameters that create compelling arguments. Those compelling arguments create the double standard when perceptions cannot be completely related.
So.... long story short.... There will always be a double standard. No longer are the perceptions of "black or white" as long as there are gray areas that can change the result. Not one thing can be 100% one way or the other. If that was the case..... nobody learns and nobody truly understands.
Thanks for reading. Have a great day everyone!
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