Reactions....

Morning friends...  I just have a few little things on my mind today and they all have to do with reactions to things.

Reactions usually do not match what we think.  While we do have an idea about how we would react to something....  it never seems to match our thoughts exactly.  Especially when the opportunity arises when we were not exactly ready for it.

Example:  You hope, wish and pray that your significant other pays a little more attention to you.  Seeing others in relationships with their public displays of affection can make you yearn for some of that from the person you are with, but after being together for so long, that area of a relationship seems to take a very far back burner.  Just having a person grab your hand is something you would like to have happen while taking an evening stroll would be nice, but alas....  You are with a person that does not hold those little "PDA's" in high regard.  Then suddenly, that person runs over, sits real close to you while you are on the couch, and cuddles with you.  This throws you for a loop and react in a way that seems less welcoming than you would have thought.  That happened to me one evening.  DH decides to become a little more open to something that has not been offered to me in years and I reacted like he had "cooties" because I was not in the same place mentally as he was.  After that reaction I had, I am pretty sure that his desire to do something with a remote sense of spontaneity will be stopped before he acts in the future.  Actually kind of a bummer.  Getting a little more attention or that "mushy romantic antics" is what I was looking for and smashed that like a bug because I reacted the wrong way.  While I tried to explain away my reaction and tried to keep the door open for potential future moments of romantic spontaneity...  I fear I just might have changed his mind to never trying again.  You see....  opposite reaction than thought.  If I would have reacted the way I thought I would have (with complete appreciation and open arms)...  Chances are, I just might get a little more attention from DH that I would like to have because he would not feel rejected from his actions.

How about this example...  You are informed by a neighbor that there has been a string of break-ins of cars on our block.  Totally random nights, but it happens somewhere between midnight and 5am.  While you have believed that you live in an area that does not experience all that criminal activity (even though it is required to lock your doors at night anyway and that a few random acts of violence towards Christmas decorations is quite low in feeling violated), you manage to hear someone camping outside your home at 2am.  Yep, some random dude decided to park his car right across the street from my house and flit around between being in and out of his car as well as opening and closing his trunk for things.  It was not a person I recognized when I looked out my window.  After watching this person's weird antics and suspicious behavior for roughly 15 minutes (realizing that this guy decided to just park there to grab a beer from his trunk and smoke some pot before heading to his place of residence), I suddenly realized that my reaction was different than what I should have been doing (which was calling the police when I first noticed him there hanging out on the side of the road).  I became the "watchdog" for my family.  That should not be my job, but in a way... I am the guardian of my family.  I would be the first one to risk my life for them.  Was my inability to call 911 right away from realizing that I had poor reaction skills from when DH decided to cuddle a while back?  Or is it some odd desire to do something big for my family by protecting them the absolutely stupid way since I feel that my efforts are not seen or heard from them?  I mean, I eventually did call 911, but the dude left before the cops drove by.  Even after seeing that there was a police presence in my neighborhood, I still could not get to sleep.

How about this example...  Your child brings home a pop quiz that they took and aced.  While your child seeks approval of a job well done, you offer a not-too-enthusiastic comment of praise.  Saying "great job" does lose its luster if the tone is not enthusiastic enough.  Fortunately, DD did ask about my level of enthusiasm when I did say that she did a great job on her pop quiz.  I at least got the opportunity to explain why my tone did not match the pride I have for her....  You see, there is a level of excitement that a parent should have for their child's efforts when you know that your child is being challenged.  I have heard from numerous people that my child is quite intelligent.  When she applies herself, she exceeds what is considered "the norm" for a child her age.  It just has been customary for my child to not put in 100% effort all the time.  Previous projects where she did not do as well as she could was proof to her (and me) that she likes to see what level of effort is needed to just be average and get a passing grade.  Yep, she has lazy tendencies.  Interestingly enough, I know from which side of the family that portrays that behavior...  My side of the family.  While my parents pushed for all their children to do the very best we can, it was known that my brother (as intelligent as he is), strove to "aim low" because he could.  When he felt like really shining...  he really shined.  I believe I pale in comparison in talent and intellect to my brother.  I tried my best all the time and still got average grades from time to time.  So as my level of excitement was low towards DD's acing her pop quiz, it was not really because I was not thrilled for her... it was just the fact that I knew she is capable of doing that well.  Being excited over something you know would happen because they are capable with little effort is just masking fact with being over dramatic.  She at least knows that I am proud of her...  just not insanely over excited.

You see, reactions happen, but not always the way you or others expect you to react.  Reactions are involuntary when thought is not put into play.  While we do think about how we should react, it does not necessarily happen as planned because emotions, environment, and some sense of expectation can cloud how we need to see things.  With DH's sudden PDA actions... I reacted to something I did not see coming and rarely ever get to experience.  With becoming the watchdog that one evening...  I let fear, curiosity, and stupid bravery take over.  With DD's aced quiz...  I downplayed my emotion because I knew she was capable.  It just has to be realized that if a person takes the time to ask about a non-desired reaction, there would be a better understanding to why a reaction is not always what you expect and less drama in reacting to someone else's reaction.

Thanks for reading.... Have a great day!