There are just some times I just don't get "my better half". I happen to do a lot more than most wives I know when it comes to doing things. I do get a "thanks" here and there, but there are times I just wonder if what I do is really taken for granted.
I guess the reason for sharing this is because I need to untangle my thought process and stop feeling like a martyr. The past 2 days, we had some snow, some freezing rain, and then more snow. Winter time in January is something that has become a tradition... LOUSY WEATHER. Between the snow, the freezing rain/sleet, and the frigid temperatures, I knew it was going to be only a matter of time that I would get a cold. So I was not surprised that this happened. I usually try to not complain because getting a cold is a part of life. I just try to work though being sick because things need to be done. My husband works long hours and really does not need to deal with more stuff to do once he gets home. I figured that I was being nice and helpful going that extra mile. Apparently, my extra effort is no longer considered extra effort.
Every year, I do my best to handle shoveling the snow. I cannot do it all the time if I have to go into work, but as long as I am at home, I shovel when it needs to be done. There are times he helps me as well as there have been times I consider it being me helping him. I figured we had an understanding... I guess not. This current round of snow, freezing rain and back to snow was the time that my cold had to appear. Being soaked to the bone with freezing rain from shoveling slop should have been my sign to take it easy. Well, I never listen to myself anyway and got sick.
I figured that if I give myself a little time to get psyched up to go out again the next day to do more shoveling, so I waited until the afternoon to do just that. I guess I was wrong. There was a ton of ice that I could not scrape off, so I resorted to using salt after removing what I could. It is either he had a bad day at work, or he just assumes that I live to shovel snow with a cold, but I got my ear bent, yet again. Money is tight. Buying salt to melt the ice costs money. I used the last of the salt we have and I mentioned that we need to get more. That was his opening to tell me that I was trying to take the easy way out. If I was to shovel early in the day, the sun should melt what is left over. "We don't need salt, I have never needed to use salt", he says. REALLY? I recall plenty of times we needed salt because of ice that happens when it gets warm out for a bit then a major cold snap hits before what melted dried. That is what January weather does... And February, too. I guess that all these years that I have been doing the shoveling, he seems to forget about the times I actually salted, for the safety of others. I just could not believe the nerve this man has to tell me that I should have been outside earlier to scrape the ice earlier. I guess he did not notice the sniffling, sneezing and coughing that I was doing. I guess, in his eyes, I am not allowed to get sick. I can only guess that my nice deed of even doing it at all, was not good enough. That just ticked me off!
After hearing his rant, I even apologized for my inability to ignore being sick and did not do what he apparently expects from me in the time frame that he wants. Needless to say, I was blamed for having an attitude from doing that. I just can't make this person happy. I realized that no matter how hard I try to rectify the situation, I just can't. What made me more confused is the fact that he still said, thank you for doing the shoveling after getting my ear bent.
Well, after that fiasco, we are expecting more snow in the next couple of days, then a cold snap with negative temperatures that do not include wind chill factors. I get to do the shoveling again. I just can't let my cold make me "lazy".
Of course, since I have been doing the shoveling, I was impressed that my back did not spasm. That was until at 2:00 this morning. I had a coughing fit that woke me up. I go downstairs so I don't wake my other half and fall asleep in the recliner and before I could get remotely comfortable to sleep again... my back spasms. I get to spend from 2am until 6am in pain, coughing and icing down my spine. I got in about 4 hours of watching the late, late news. Now, I have a full day of things to do because in my recent experience about waiting too long to shovel the ice and snow yesterday and the "talk" I got... I am not allowed to rest up to get this cold under control. I hate fighting, so I will again do what I can to avoid it. Smile when I want to cry and work when I am not feeling well. Maybe, I can avoid another talk tonight when he comes home.
I am sorry Nancy. You should be like my wife. She has learned to tell me to shut the hell up. I am pretty easy going though I think. I am the type like you if I want something done, I do it myself. I expect that of other people too. If they want it done, do it. We cannot do everything right??
ReplyDelete