Good morning and Happy Mother's Day!
Yep, it is Mother's Day; a day to show appreciation to the woman that went through hours (and I mean HOURS) of pain to bring you into this world. Of course, all mothers have multiple reputations when it comes to their children and it changes as they get older. Really, who goes from boo-boo fixer to moron to smartest woman alive in a lifetime? It is that love... hate... and back to love emotional roller coaster children put mothers, like myself, through. Do we complain about it? Not as much as we should, but I truly believe that our tolerance level changes in our DNA makeup once the hormones shift while pregnant. To those that could not experience the phenomenon of giving birth, but are parents, too, just happen to have that parenting gene at all times. Of course, there are some that should never be a parent, but the forces that be thought it would be interesting to thrust them into the challenge that parenthood brings.
With all things in tradition, it is Mother's Day that offers a little "breather" from the ins and outs of being the only one that does the most with the least appreciation for it. In my world.... I cook, clean and cater to those in my care (and that includes DH). Of course, my tendencies to do more without asking for help has enabled my family to do less and complain when it is up to them to do anything in this house. Trust me.... when DH whines about making a tray if ice cubes once in a while like it is such a grueling task... you will understand my situation.
Sadly, the Mother's Day of the past in this house have appeared to be less spoiling on my part. It is looked upon as just another ordinary day here. I still cook, clean and cater around here. Gifts do not come in my direction and flowers do not grace my kitchen table. I will admit that I have ground my teeth in frustration so often that I already know that I have a very expensive dental appointment in my very near future. A couple of old fillings are failing and I am in constant discomfort. Aching, overly sensitive teeth make it hard to enjoy any food or beverages. In hindsight.... I might actually lose a few pounds (if not more) by waiting for the "green light" to get this matter handled. Knowing my luck (and DH's habitual saying of "no" with guilt-laden comments of being too financially strapped for expenses like these), I can only hope that once I do get the opportunity to see the dentist and get some relief... the dentist might be more reasonable when it comes to the expense and how we can make payments instead of getting whacked with a huge bill that we obviously cannot afford. Of course, my determination to do just about everything here had me injure my left hand (well, I know I hurt it at work, but it was just something that was waiting for the right time from overworking it at home), and even some of the more simple things that require use of that hand now hurt to the point I have tears in my eyes. Obviously, my perpetual lousy luck has added a little icing to this cake of misery with my allergies flaring up to monstrous levels... My head feels like I have a mini jackhammer bouncing around in there. Well, it could be from my teeth, too, but the pain behind my eyes is immense. I slept funny last night and my right arm is tender in one spot and radiates EVERYWHERE as well as that glorious set of knots traveling up and down my spine that triggered all my usual pinched nerves.
Yep, feeling absolutely glorious for a day that is supposed to be in honor of me going through 13 hours of labor for my child and a never ending requirement of sacrifice to my family. If you could not catch the pain-ridden, sarcasm there in that last statement.... then I obviously have zero talent in sharing how awful I am feeling today. I feel damn useless, but pushing myself to be useful is really starting to wear me down. I have been sleeping more than usual and that is not good when it comes to fulfilling the demands of my life and my family. Oh well, time to suck it up, right?
Now, if I could only win a million dollars...... I could ease the financial burden that DH feels, buy all the stuff that DD needs, and maybe have enough to take care of a few things I fear really needing my immediate attention for my health. Of course, the forces that be really like giving me impossible challenges to deal with all...the...time... and getting a break is definitely not in my future. I bought a lottery ticket yesterday and I already know I only donated my $2 to the jackpot that I will never obtain. I mean... really.... I don't need the supposed 170 million jackpot. Just enough to slightly get ahead of our bills and get the important things that we have zero health coverage for (dental insurance is really expensive and barely covers anything) and obviously I am asking for too much, but I already know I can never get that lucky. I am not greedy.... I am just desperate for relief. I know I am not alone when it comes to this, but it is just so sad that I just cannot get a break. I have nothing but time to wait, but would like a chance to come up for air once in a while.
Oh well, off to try to follow through with my plans that I placed before me. I told DH that I refuse to cook on Mother's Day (and that means the usual breakfast). Either they (my family) joins me at the local iHop for breakfast or I am going alone. If they do decide to join me... then they are getting the bill. With the pain in my mouth, I know I will be a cheap date, but I want at least ONE OPPORTUNITY to be waited upon and this is supposed to be MY DAY.
So, thanks for reading, hug your mom, and have a great day!
No comments:
Post a Comment