The tomboy in me.....

Growing up, I was not one for playing with dolls and dressing up like a princess.  I would intentionally get my dresses dirty so I would not have to wear them.  My choice of clothing was (and still is) jeans and a shirt with comfy shoes.  Getting dirty while playing was just my way of really getting into the game.  I played sports, I watch sports, I even scream at the TV when I watch sports (not as much as complete fanatics, but I sure do hold my own if I feel strong enough about it).  I was (and still am) a quintessential definition of a tomboy, but there are days I do tend to lean a little more on being a girl.  It is who I am and I have embraced that.

I just need to dial my "dude-'tude" back a little.

Yesterday, I was talking with my other half and did not realize (until it was too late) that I went into "fix-it mode".

Men and women think completely differently and that is just fine.  It makes things interesting and also challenging.  Seeing a different point of view is refreshing to me.  I just seem to have the ability to understand a bit more than I need to.  Men, when it comes to conversations with women, have only two things.  They are either in "fix-it mode" or WTF mode.  Let me elaborate just a bit.....

When a woman wants to talk to a man, chances are it is just talk.  Women talk to communicate.  It can be about their hopes and dreams, it can be about their feelings at that moment, it can be about really anything.  Venting frustrations or talking about their feelings is the number one thing women talk about.  We are great listeners, but admit it boys... we love to talk.  When a man is on the receiving end of a conversation, he really is not interested in the story.  He wants her to get to the point.  Is he to fix the problem or is he to defend his actions....  Men are usually not that emotional and do not deal with emotions really well, so crying, getting clingy or being pissed all the time makes a man run. I am like that way too.

Don't get me wrong, there are some men that are exceptions to the rule.  They tend to be more receptive to women and their idiosyncrasies.  They are a rare breed, but they are out there.  Men being really interested in what a woman has to say is commonplace in the start of a relationship.  I call it their "bank account for romance".  At the start of relationships, men (and women) transform themselves into wheat they think the other person wants in a relationship.  Once the account has been spent, you become who you really are and either you deal and move forward or you don't and break up.  In a perfect world, this should not happen, but it does.

Well, when it comes to women that are tomboys, like me, we have this strange ability to have the thought process of both a dude and a chick.  We are easy to get along with, we are laid back, we understand more points of view and even can adjust to more circumstances.  We can be your best bud and we can be your best gal pal in one package.  Sadly, our thought process changes a lot.  One minute, we can be a chick, a total girl with the thought and communication process.  The next minute, we can have the dude-tude about it all... Go into fix-it mode and really want you to get to the point.

That is where I seem to have my wires crossed.  I recently learned that men love to vent, too.  They actually want to let their frustrations out and be done with it, no fixing needed.  Yesterday, my other half decided to go into vent mode about work and I went into fix-it mode.  Lets say, that conversation did not go well.  Fortunately, I held onto my dude-tude and not let it get me bent and hold a grudge.  Everything smoothed over on it's own.  Crisis averted.

I guess what I wanted to share is that when it comes to talking to people, asking one simple question or starting your conversation with clear intent is the best medicine.  If I would have asked my other half if his rant is just a vent or a plea for my help or opinion, communicating things can be that much easier.  Then I would not get the new status of being called a ball breaker.

That's it for today.

Thanks for reading.

Have a great day!!