I knew it was only going to be a matter of time that I would fully turn into my mother. The added bonus is that I have also turned into my father (just a bit). I just find it intriguing at how this came about...
With yesterday being Halloween and all, DD was excited to dress up as something and hang with her friends to do some "trick or treating". I like to see DD with a smile on her face, but I have the uncanny knack to put a fly in the ointment. Just like my mother and father, I have strong opinions about things. Especially when it comes to what is seen and heard. I guess it is that gift of being a little more attuned to everything about my daughter. It is a parent trait that appears the day after the child is born. We spend so much time attending to our offspring that it becomes second nature to become controlling and opinionated. While our children fight tooth-and-nail to become independent thinkers and their thoughts that their parents are just off their rockers comes naturally to them. It is just maddening to the parents that it takes until their children are fully grown to finally figure out that their parents were right all along. I still have to laugh that it is a matter of time when she figures that out. When she does..... I will enjoy every minute of her acknowledgement. Sadly, that day is not going to come anytime soon.
Well, onward about how DD is like me and how I turned into her (meaning my mother)....
DD created a costume from random stuff that we have around the house.... old parts to other costumes and with a good mix of creativity and some of her regular clothes, she became a "dark warrior" (or so she calls it). It consisted of an old witch's cape, a pair of leggings, a sweater (after three suggestions to change the shirt choice), a belt and a dagger that she won from one of her taekwondo competitions. The shoe choice was a pair of knock-off Ugg-like boots. As I said before... I made comments about her shirt choice since she refused to put a jacket on with this cooler weather. Her first choice was a summer top (halter-style in a shade of eggplant purple that did not match the design color of the witch's cape... which was magenta), her second choice was a purple t-shirt that was closer to mauve than magenta, and she finally took my suggestion to wear her new magenta long-sleeved sweater that matched perfectly. When it came down to shoes.... sigh.... she wanted to wear ballerina flats that were too big for her feet and when she tried to walk, she looked like she was more focused on keeping the shoes on her feet than actually walking. Knowing that she would get blisters, I made her pick something that was a little better fitting for her feet. Oh, the drama over getting her to look remotely comfortable for her evening of friends, trick-or-treating and fun. After a few comments from her lips that sounded quite like me when I get frustrated with DH (the saying of "is all right and wonderful in your world" was used quite often by me and now by her that evening), she joined her friends for the evening. Round one: She sounded like me when I get frustrated, but I trumped it by becoming opinionated like my mother and used the phrase of "you are not leaving the house in that skimpy top" like my father.
The recap of the evening when I drove to pick up DD from her friend's house. I refuse to let her walk home alone in the dark and all the parents agreed to pick up their kids at one kid's house when the trick or treating fiasco ended. Luckily, it was not at my house this time.... too many kids in my little house is a recipe for disaster. Well, DD proceeds to tell me that quite a few little boys were flirting with her and she claimed that she felt confused about it. CONFUSED?!?!? Sheesh! I had to explain to her that boys will flirt with pretty girls. While she still does not see that she is pretty, I happened to recall being told that I am pretty from time to time and refuse to believe it, too. Of course, when it comes to me.... I was never all that popular with the boys like she is. I had plenty of friends that were, and still are, boys. In fact, a good chunk of my current friends happen to be men that I grew up with. I am still a tomboy and feel more at ease with my male friends than my female ones, but nonetheless, I never saw myself as pretty. No matter how many times my mom told me I was. Parents never count, you know, when it comes to compliments. So, as DD tells me about her best friend's boyfriend calling her "hot" and feeling confused about it, I had to remind her of the girl code.... Never flirt with a friend's boyfriend and never date a best friend's ex. Obviously, she knows the code and never flirted with him (she has a boyfriend already), but nonetheless, it concerned me because I have lost many friends over seemingly innocent incidents like that. I have seen friends start dating exes of mine before the breakup had a chance to settle in. The worst thing to see is a friend flirting with their friend's boyfriend.... well, the absolute worst is finding out that your friend slept with your boyfriend while you were still dating him. Happened to me once and that, my friends, is the worst possible scenario. Regardless of my past disasters, I at least want my daughter to have the same level of respect for her friends like I do with mine and reminded her of the code anyway. In hindsight of this, I even mentioned to her one thing my mom always said and I never believed..... I was looked upon as worthy to be pursued even when I did not feel anything for the guy. When I told DD that same comment my mother used to say to me.... I saw the same look I gave my mom in DD's face.... absolute disbelief. Round two: DD thinks little of herself like I do about myself, but I happen to see that she has no reason to feel that way. I can only gather that my mom dealt with the same thing.... Pointing out the obvious when we refuse to see it.
Now, here is where I appear to be like my dad..... While DD is nearing the pivotal teenage years that usually consist of dating the opposite sex, I am not all that thrilled that she is even looked upon as someone to be dating at this young age. In fact, I already know that I will be the parent that puts the fear of God in every boy caller out there. This is one area that I know I will be far more scary than DH could ever be. Heck, DH is everyone's buddy when you meet him. He does not have an overprotective bone in his body, while I, on the other hand, would do just about anything to protect my baby girl. If DH ever had an overprotective bone in his body.... I never have seen it when it comes to me.... I have always fought my own battles. That, my friends, is what my father taught me to do.....
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