I guess with those stories and reports of the world coming to an end a lot of people are feeling a but curious. I know I have been. The fear that everything ends is something an anxious person really does not take lightly. I just felt compelled to share my thoughts about all the hype through the eyes of a person that fears "endings".....
Now, after the mainstream media shares that this one person who reads the bible and tries to crack the code of mystery that faith with what he thinks is the ultimate judgement day had me wonder just a bit. Being the God fearing Catholic that I am, I have always believed that God is a loving father to all. There is no vengeful plan to rid the world that he has created because his children are capable of fault or sin. We were never considered to be perfect and that was shared through stories going back to the first man and woman.... Adam and Eve. I do understand that there is a circle of life and nothing lasts forever, but as long as there is faith... everything is well taken care of.
I do have questions about the Church and the way things are handled, but when it comes down to faith and believing... well, there is no question. I took a little journey into having a heart to heart talk with the priest at my church almost 11 years ago. It was after my dad passed away. I was a bit angry at God for taking my dad when he was obviously not ready to go just yet. You see, my dad passed away in a hospital bed, all alone. Everyone in the family had already visited him (including me) earlier in the day. It was a hard thing for me to do because I am not a real fan of hospitals. Well, after we were all gone for the day, he passed away. I was not there for him when it happened, but got there as quickly as I could after I got the call to be there with him. My dad was my rock, he was my best friend... I loved him, respected him and feared him. After walking into that room where he passed, seeing him laying flat on his back, no more monitor wires, no tubes, and no IV... all I saw was my dad laying silently on his back with his mouth still wide open. All I could think is he screamed before passing. He had things to look forward to.... He just got a grandchild that he cherished and a new subject to photograph. He was a cameraman to the end and we loved that about him. Knowing that I will never hear his bits of wisdom, his witty comments, and his laugh. I was torn and mad. I know that my anger was part of the grieving process, but at that time, it was actual anger. All I kept thinking is how can a loving God take him away screaming. I was assured that he did go peacefully and that there was no pain, but my mind was made up and I was mad. After the funeral and his burial, I felt empty and in denial that he was actually gone. All that changed the day I was at the cemetery and saw his headstone with his name on it.
I had finally really cried that day.
Now, believing that I was a bad Catholic because of my anger still boiling under my skin, I went to see a priest. We talked about my father, his meaning to me and my belief in the unfairness of the circle of life. I told him about my anger that stemmed from believing that my father's last breath consisted of a scream to fight to live. I remember saying to the priest these words... "How can God take a person that was fighting to live?" What he asked me in return reminded me about faith. He said, "Do you believe in God?" My answer was, "Yes, I do." He proceeded to ask questions that resulted in learning this one thing.... Faith is a blind thing. We have embraced knowing that there is a greater thing than who we are because of faith. I have never personally seen God with my two eyes, I have never touched the healing hand that Jesus offered, but I believe that they both exist. No tangible proof that I can share that can convince anyone else of what I believe in, but I will blindly believe with my faith that they are real. Part of believing is acceptance.
Now, with all that I have managed to learn being the Catholic believer that I am. I will say that I believe that God is not a vengeful and vindictive being to destroy his creation, but is perfectly capable of giving us a wake up call. All it takes is for you to answer. Is the world going to end like the prediction that was offered? I really do not know, but I have my faith to weather the storm. How about you?
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