Where do I belong.....

Freudian slips happen.  Realizing that the news media has a real challenge on their hands with the recent event of announcing to the world that Osama bin Laden, the top terrorist in a chain of who knows how many, has died and Obama, our current president's last name in the same sentence.  Just one little letter can cause for mistakes-a-plenty.  Pretty impressive that there have not been any mishaps while I have been watching the news, but the times I have watched Jon Stewart on Comedy Central, he has had a few.  Most likely on purpose for the sake of a good laugh as he puts yet again another quarter in the "Obama/Osama slip up jar"  Just yesterday, he did that and my daughter and I realized an odd similarity of more than just that in our president's full name....  Hmmm...  Barack (no terrorist name there) Hussein (Hmmm...  the last name of another terrorist Saddam Hussein similarity) Obama (Freudian slip to the first name of Osama bin Laden)....  2 out of 3 tied to infamous terrorists names via either exact spelling or just one letter off.  Not stating that our president is in any way a terrorist, but it definitely makes a person go Hmmm, ya think?  Okay... too much time on our hands yesterday to figure that one out.

WOW, before I go completely off track here, I need to change gears.....

Just recently, I heard of a Freudian slip of sorts in my home.  Maybe it is because I have been stung too many times with always losing the game of compromise with DH that I noticed it so easily, but DH did one that hurts my feelings and makes me wonder....  Where do I belong.  Yep, that stupid game of "I win, you lose" has gotten hold of me in a way that I still hold some bitterness under my skin to even mention it yet again on this blog.  I am trying to chalk this up as a Freudian slip, but with this bitterness boiling just under the surface from other small and trivial events it makes me wonder.  Well, just the other night, there was a little discussion that DH had with DD while I was in ear shot of the conversation.  Not to get into all the details, but I was asked a question by DH about DD and gave him the answer.  As DH explains the events leading to asking me the question, he does not say to her that he asked "your mom" or "mom"....  He tells her he asked "Nancy"....  WHAT!?!?!  I would have figured DH would have used the name DD calls me and not my actual first name in his statement since my daughter does not call me by my first name.  But alas, there it was....    Next thing I realized is that I felt the stab of being referred to as an outsider.  I am not "mom" in this house?  I guess I am not "mom" to our daughter either.  Nope, I am Nancy....  The cook, maid, chauffeur, the caregiver and the excuse that money is tight.  I am the "hired help" that does not get paid for all that I do for this family.  Nice, huh?  Now, I could be wrong, but it felt like it was not a Freudian slip, but an honest action to what he thinks about me.

Being the non-confrontational person that I am in my home when it comes to DH, I said nothing and I will still say nothing to him about this.  I realized that in that simple little Freudian Slip of sorts, this just might not be a slip at all.  I know if I was to ask him directly about this, it could start yet another round of that stupid game where I am always on the losing end of it.

After all of this...  I will now continue to wonder where I belong in my own family.  Mother's day is just around the corner.  I wonder if anything special is going to happen for me.  I won't hold my breath, though.  HA!  Who knows, I might get a pay raise for all the work I do here since I must be the hired help.  What is the amount percentage I could be getting for over 11 years of service when my hourly wage is zero?  Well, beggars can't be choosers....  I do get health benefits ;)