Of course, this is a late blog.... been a little busy lately and with the lack of a computer for almost a week, I hope you all understand.
While I am a slave to the computer age, I got a taste of life without that darn machine and it felt..... odd. Between my usual stuff that I do on this crazy machine (checking e-mails, popping onto Facebook to see what my friends are up to and play a game or two along with my occasional blogging), it sure felt like something was missing in my day. Fortunately, I went to the library and grabbed a few books to fill the time. Between books and housework... I managed to keep myself entertained. Since this is the third repair on this computer, I have made the executive decision that I need to become a little more computer savvy. I had a little scare once I got my computer back just the other day. My lack of computer knowledge had me in a tizzy when all of my important documents, pictures and videos were wiped from my computer AGAIN. Apparently, when you manage to fry a hard drive, you can lose everything you had. Luckily, I had an external hard drive that I did my backups on, so I felt reasonably sure that I lost nothing..... WRONG! Between my second and third time getting this computer fixed, I had changed my running system from Windows Vista to Windows 7. Definitely NOT compatible when it comes to recovering all of my backed up stuff. Frustrated beyond belief, I had to change my running system AGAIN, but this time I have the hard copy disc and product key for the future. So.... long story short.... I bought the Windows 8 program, loaded it and I happen to be very slowly learning all the new stuff. I still have programs that I need to reload, like Microsoft Office and I need to eventually seek out a different virus protection program. Apparently, what I had does not work with my new program. I did manage to get the tech department where I got my computer fixed to recover the really important stuff, but it will take extra steps to access it. Not thrilled about it, but once I learn more about Windows 8, I will be able to get things running normally again. Not saying that it is not running normally, but I am flying blind trying to figure stuff out. Quite frustrating to say the least. I think I need to consider saving the really important stuff on flash drives and not bother with relying upon an external hard drive that I back up on. I just need to find the time to do just that..... Yeah, right ;)
Beyond my computer giving me a migraine, I had a little chat with DH. Of course, it took some "liquid courage" to let my thoughts fly out of my mouth. Apparently, his mind is too clogged with deeply seeded fear and stress to acknowledge my needs. I at least got to say my peace about my feelings and that in itself is progress. I just hope that he can look beyond his blinded views and thank his lucky stars that I am too stubborn and bull-headed to let his detached behavior affect me too much. Of course, understanding where his thoughts are focused on does not fix the problems that we have. It is like an alcoholic acknowledging there is a problem, but refuses to do anything about it. I have tried for far too long to keep trying. It is up to him to do something about it, but I am not going to hold my breath or get upset like I used to. If he does something.... great, but if he continues to not bother trying... I am not going to get bent about it anymore. It is a total waste of energy on my part. I have been finding solace in reading books, albeit romance novels, and I have to giggle at how it has managed to balance me. While reading stories of fictional characters getting their "happily ever after" does not make me blissfully happy, but it controlled my tendencies to get fully enraged at little things and I have not been crying myself to sleep over what my life is lacking. I think I have become a little indifferent about things. My apparent new thought word is "whatever" when things do not go my way. DH forgets to get me a card for our anniversary?... "whatever" with a shrug is my response. Heck, Sweetest Day (yep a Hallmark reason to celebrate "love") came and went with nothing exchanged. While the girls at work got roses, cards and candy or a romantic dinner from their loved one.... I got nothing and really did not care. No tears, no anger, no reaction whatsoever.... just a shrug and a "whatever". It is actually kind of nice to not get emotional over stuff like that. That extremely lowered level of expectation is a wonderful thing. Makes living even a little more stress free and leaves more room to think about other stuff. Not sure if it is healthy to stop caring about the little stuff when it is known that little things are a part of a bigger thing. I wonder if it is at all possible that a person can stop caring about everything if they let it get out of hand. Little things do add up, you know. Doubtful that I could hit that point, but I am keeping a watchful eye anyway.
Well, I have yet another full day to get my computer back to some semblance of normal. If I cannot get it done tomorrow, the nice tech guys that fixed my computer will help me out to have things running like a champ. I just have to get the other stuff I have to do done first. Grocery shopping with the family, pop into work for a little while for a client, and get some housework done. Chances are, I'll have my OCD over leaf cleanup fill my day tomorrow and forget to work on this darned machine.
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