Well that time of year has arrived..... the annual exams that I never study for, but hope I pass with flying colors.
I was impressed at how quickly it has all gone. Got some blood drawn to see if I have any underlying issues to why this weight is not falling off as quick as I would like it to be, had my "womanly nether-regions" check done, and suffered through one of the most uncomfortable exams women go through (if the Gynecologist visit was not uncomfortable enough, that is).... my mammogram. Yep, all of these tests are something we never get the chance to study for, nor have a cheat-sheet to refer to. We just get them done and hope for the best.
Well, I got my blood tests done and I am obviously healthy. All tests were in the normal range. There was only one area that was a cause for concern and I have to get some more blood drawn in a month. Apparently, something that is related to my liver is off from what they want to consider as normal. It is not a serious difference and they are attributing it to the fact that I did some serious fasting prior to the test and even avoided drinking anything until I had the test done in the afternoon and it was probably from a slight dehydration that I put myself through. Regardless of what they assume to be the cause.... I get to go back in a month to be rechecked for that. I am still waiting for my other results from the Gynecologist and that will be called in to me by sometime later today. I was glad that everything was in the normal range, but upset that there is no solid answer to why I am having a hard time losing this excess weight. I guess I am cursed with a normal thyroid, a good level of cholesterol (mine was 165), no high blood sugar count, normal blood count (white to red), and no medical reason that made me gain all this weight except for age and a lousy metabolism that is going to get slower the older I get. Of course, my insatiable need to have chocolate does not help, but I have not had any since the beginning of the month and I still can't change my weight number any faster (a pound here, a pound there...UGH! This is gonna take forever!!)
What I did manage to get done rather quickly this year was that annual Mammogram screening. I am not sure if there is a better system that the hospital has for this test, or there are a fair number of women avoiding this test, but I called yesterday to make the appointment and got an appointment for this morning. Never to look a gift horse in the mouth, I grabbed the opportunity to get it done. I just happen to be kicking myself because I accidentally overslept this morning and had to race like an Indy race car driver to the hospital. I got there a little late, but they still took me in. On a side note..... why all the formalities when going to the hospital anyway? I just need to get a test done, but we get this stupid bar-code bracelet with a pile of paperwork that seems more like a waste of trees than it is necessary. Just registering for this test took longer than the actual test. Well, regardless of the wasted time registering... I got my test done.
Let me tell you one thing.... I am apparently entertaining when it comes to embarrassing tests being performed on me. I had the technician laughing at my expense. Besides being forced to wear a hospital gown backwards to cover the ample chest region, I am required to be a 70's bra-less wonder in a room with other bra-less women. Sorry people, I am a fan of my supportive gear and just hanging freely is not my cup 'o tea. Then, you get placed in a room with a machine that should be better utilized to crush cars at a junk yard and I have to place a part of me in that contraption to flatten what is not meant to be pressed like a wrinkled shirt and hold still. Heck the technician laughed when she heard me squeak a gasp when she told me to hold my breath for what I believe is an eternity. Really.... does this person realize that being squeezed makes it hard to breathe? After damn near passing out, I get the okay to breathe again and the crushing pressure starts to ease. Whew! Feeling better. Then DAMN! I have to do this 3 more times because pressing my breast into a sheet of paper was not good enough one time. No wonder gravity gets a leg up on women after they turn 40. The flattening, crushing and pulling of the skin eventually gives up with repeated acts. Besides the notion that this body part that they are checking is personal and never flashed in public to people I do not know (at least in my world they are), I have a technician handling them.... a female technician. Talk about embarrassing!!!! Really? How does she talk about her day to her significant other?
"How was your day, dear?".... "Oh, the same old thing.... handle strange women's breasts to position them in a crushing mammogram machine all day. You have seen one breast, you have seen them all. How was your day?"
While I understand the importance of getting this test done every year.... I just apparently had a little too much time to think about all the other angles that play into the experience. I now just get to wait to see if I passed this test, too. Then I get to wait another year to do this again.... Oh joy! Fingers crossed that I pass this test.... I accidentally breathed when I shouldn't have on one of the required views that were taken. I could not help it. The shock of being squeezed sucked the air right out of me. Oh well.... the waiting game has begun. In closing..... I am proud to say I did my part in thinking pink. To all those ladies out there.... I hope you are doing yours.
Have a great day and thanks for reading!!!
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