Yesterday, I got a call from a person whom I call my closest and dearest friend. In fact, she is more like a sister to me than a friend.
Friends come and go in life. There is reason to every choice we make. What we seem to forget is that choices do affect those that surround you. I received some news from my best friend that she is planning on moving away.... far away. While I understand that this is an opportunity that cannot be denied, that she deserves more than what life in Illinois has offered... I am feeling the sting of loss.
Friends are special people. Confidants to your thoughts, supporters when you feel alone, and the really special ones are the keepers of secrets. My friend, Care, is the epitome of what a true friend is. She is my sounding board when I get frustrated, she understands me better than anyone I know, she knows how to make me laugh when I feel down, she offers perspectives to things that I have difficulty understanding, and she would offer the shirt off her back if I needed it. When we are out, there is never a dull moment, we have the greatest of times together, and our connection as friends brings across a feeling that we are more like family to every new person we manage to come across. After years of people thinking we were related... we just agreed to let people think that we are sisters. She stood up in my wedding, she hosted the bridal shower, she let me stay at her place the night before I got married and enjoyed one last night of bachelorette drinking. I even think I still have the cork to a bottle of champagne we had opened for the occasion with help of a neighbor, a power drill and a screw (what people go through to remove a cork lid from a bottle...LOL). She drove me that last mile to the church when I was having my first blown panic attack. Never to judge me on the poor choices I allowed to let slip, she became the one person I could rely upon for rational thought. Our friendship even makes her parents laugh. How we manage to take care of one another. An evening arguing over her twisted ankle and forgetting to disconnect the cell phone call to her parents got them thinking that we bicker like a married couple. While we have our disagreements, we overcome them rather quickly because there is love between the two of us. This is probably one of the rarest friendships ever.
As times have been tough for everyone. It has been especially tough for my friend. Wanting to change careers, she went back to college with a career in mind. She studied hard, she graduated at the top of her class, and was ready to embark upon a new career path. After numerous attempts with denials in its wake, she never stopped trying. Frustrated and weary, she would talk to me. I was the one she chose to talk to because I understood her. While she gave me perspectives that I had a hard time seeing, I managed to do the same for her.
She managed to hear about a job opening. Only thing is that she will have to move away. As she called me yesterday about this great opportunity and that she is planning on taking it, all I could think about is that my best friend is going away and how I am gonna miss her so much. No longer can we plan a last minute get together when the stress of our lives (no matter how different or similar that they can be) makes us crave a few beers and some quality time together to laugh and let go. No longer is it going to be easy to just pick up the phone and chat. There will be a time difference to consider when it comes to calling. That moment when help is needed can no longer be a short trip to get there. My window shopping buddy, my occasional lunch date, my movie watching pal, my fellow adventurer, and my fashion consultant (for when I decide to dress up) will be gone. While the friendship ties that bind will never break, it is the distance that makes it so hard for me. Part of me is going to move away and that hurts.
I do completely support her decision. She deserves better than what she has been offered here for the past few years. She deserves the opportunity to feel some financial ease. I know she will do very well at this new job, I know that this change is going to be very exciting for her and I am excited for her. Just a little sad that by best friend in the whole world will be so far away. While my life does not offer that much excitement, she really won't miss much. The few things she will probably miss is those milestones that DD will have. At least she got to see most of them.... DD's first steps, DD's stubborn tendencies, DD's first words that led to first sentences and then onto her inability to stop talking...LOL. Maybe she can make it to see DD get her drivers license, graduate high school, go off to college, graduate college, get married, and so on. DD does love her Auntie Care... That, I know for certain.
With everything we overcame to become such close friends, this is just another thing in the path of life. Well, I have limited time before her decision is final and that she does move away. As I wish nothing less than the best for her, I will always secretly hope she does stay. Only time will tell, but at least I can say that I have one friend that surpassed what a friend is and became family to me.
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