The natural defense mechanism....

You are climbing and climbing,
nearing the peak.
You reach the top
and rest for a moment.
Looking down
(wow, that is a far way down)
you feel your heart race.
Adrenaline starts pumping
it is fight or flight time.
You descend down
  really fast.
Screaming with arms flailing
some will laugh
  others won't.
The roller coaster comes to a stop.
You get off and throw up...

Life is similar to that roller coaster ride.  What we do with it is by our own design.

The natural defense mechanism differs from person to person.  Hearing terrible news puts us in defense mode.  While we all would like to remain calm, cool and collected at all times....  We all have a moment that makes us take a step back, but we manage to figure out our options and embrace the inevitable.

I went to visit a friend in the hospital yesterday.  She is an older woman that I have gotten to know over the past year or so.  We work together.

This woman is probably one of the most generous people I know.  She thinks of everyone else first, she strives to make everyone feel special, and appreciates everything people do.  She loves to cook and by the size of my waist.... she is really good at cooking.  Of course, it never hurts to be of an Italian heritage.  Her and I are similar in nature.  We are generous to a fault and always offering a smile.  I can cook, but I am not a great one....  just average.  I might have a little talent, but I just know how to follow a recipe.

One time, I offered to do her makeup (just for fun), and in appreciation of doing that, she fed my family with some delicious stuffed shells with homemade tomato sauce.  After fixing some of her jewelry, she gave me even more food.  Always with a compliment and a smile...  she is someone that warms the soul.

Well, she was not feeling all that well a couple of weeks ago.  After endless nagging for her to go see a doctor by everyone at the salon where we work at, she finally goes.  She was admitted into the hospital.  What we thought was a simple gall bladder issue (the symptoms were the same), ended up being something that gave her the invisible expiration stamp on the bottom of her foot.  She has stage 4 cancer blanketing her liver, the bile ducts, her gall bladder, and her pancreas.  This blanket has been strangling the connective area between all 3.  As I talked to her, I had to sit down.  Hearing the "C" word can knock anyone off their feet.  As I asked about her options, she appeared to have embraced this.  Putting her faith in God and the doctors, but accepting the lousy hand that was dealt to her.  As I tried to remain upbeat for her... internally I was freaking out.  As I looked upon a person I call friend and see her remain so calm as she tells me that if she remained determined to not see the doctor... she would have only 3 months of life to live.  Not knowing how much time she really has with the help of the doctors concerns me.  Stage 4 is serious.  There is not enough time to do all that you wish to get done.  All those personal things you set your mind to do before you die.  How is it that she can be so calm in the face of what I see is the most fearful thing to face?  She talked about getting out of the hospital and go back to work at the salon... making thank you gift bags and write thank you cards for the new clients.  Is this her defense mechanism?  To focus on everyone and everything else but herself?  Loved by many, all of the visitors she has every day (including me), sure can be a nice distraction to the facts.  With a smile on her face and not one tear in her eyes, I see her as the strongest woman I know.  I know of a few more really strong women, but this is about her today.

Driving home, tears ran down my face.  A person that has been capable of touching my soul in a remotely short amount of time has been given a time limit... an expiration date...  an end to her story.  I pray that she does recover, that she does have more time, and gets to stay just a little longer.  Call me selfish, but I am not ready to say goodbye.

So....  how would you handle devastating news like that?  What part of your natural defense mechanism kicks in to handle something like this if it was you?  Would you become solemn?  Or would you grab on with both hands and make the most of the ride that we call life?

Thanks for reading and have a great day....