Good morning. This past Easter weekend went very well and I was quite pleased about that. There was plenty of food, loads of laughs, and the cup of kindness seemed to be overflowing. That was a welcoming surprise in my world.... believe me.
I just should have known better when it came to planning this event. While there was plenty of good food for everyone, we did have a fair amount of leftovers to contend with. Last night was "leftover night". Getting in roughly one of possibly two more meals out of the way sure made my life in the kitchen a bit easier. Not needing to cook once in a while is quite nice. I just happened to overdo the dyed egg situation. Guessing that people would chomp down somewhere between 2 to 3 eggs, I figured that I made enough when I boiled and dyed 36 eggs. Little did I figure that with all the other food, the odds of everyone eating an egg or two (or three) would become actually possible. It was not. Loaded with boiled eggs, DH decides to partake on eating a few on a full stomach last night. Apparently, that was the final straw to his digestive tract and got him to wake me (Doctor Mom) at 2:00 this morning with a request to find something to cure his raging case of heartburn.
As I wander around, looking for the new package of antacids in a sleep induced haze, I find them, give him one and accidentally gave DH a little "elbow to the stomach". That lovely gas-bag let one rip that I swear was a green fog in the shape of a skull and crossbones. "OMGoodness!! What died in your colon?", is what I blurt out (loudly, may I add, in my nice and quiet home). DH giggles and says, "I guess it is from those few eggs I had after dinner... egg farts".
Realizing that this is going to be my fate if I return to bed, I opted for the couch. Sore back and lack of restful sleep, I was greeted with a smiling husband that shared that he had the best sleep after I gave him the antacid in the middle of the night. Glad to hear he got some sleep. As for me... in my lack of true sleep haze, I chose to sleep just mere feet away from his gas cloud of death with a can of air freshener in my grasp. Fear of sharing a blanket with him from a previous flatulence experience, I was smart enough to take the lesser of the two evils.
There was this one time, DH rolled over in his sleep after a night of White Castle cheeseburgers. If you are not familiar with White Castle burgers, you are darn lucky. These little mini burgers coined as "sliders" do just that.... slide in just about as fast as they slide out. Cooked/steamed on a bed of chopped onions, this little square of meat (if you want to call it meat) gives people gas like they ate a gallon of beans. Well, needless to say when DH rolled over, he filled the area under the blanket we shared with putrid gas. Forgetting that there was someone else in the bed with him, he lifted the blanket to either admire the stench or share his current achievement with me, but as he laid there silently in the dark, he hears my reaction to a stench that woke me up from a dead sleep and starts to laugh. From that day forward, I kept a bottle of air freshener on my nightstand for occurrences like that.
I just was not up to hearing his complaints of the scent of lavender trying feverishly to kill the "unkill-able" stench if it was to most likely happen again. Believe me... Febreeze has met its match, and Febreeze has failed. Lysol never worked, tried Oust and even a few other brands claiming that they remove unwanted odors. All a person can do is open a window and hope for the best. I believe I have destroyed nasal receptors over the years from exposure, but I do like to sleep without the scent of death floating around. Choosing the couch was the better choice, but with left over eggs to be eaten.... I just might have to move out for a while... just kidding.... well, maybe not ;)
With is appreciation of my help in allowing comfort for him to get some decent rest, my reply was a growl of "you're welcome" and "be sure to share that gross bodily function with the guys at the garage".... These guys like to gross each out for entertainment.
Well, off to do what I do. Hope I offered a little laugh in your day. Have a wonderful say everybody, and thanks for reading.....
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