Do I speak in a foreign tongue???

Why is it that when women speak to their men, they look at them like they are speaking in some dead language that nobody really understands?  Could somebody PLEASE explain that to me?

As I ponder my request for answers, please take note that I rarely ask for anything from DH, I gave up nagging years ago, and I do not waste his time with endless banter (I get to the point and move on).  Remember, I am more a tomboy than a girl, so I can fully understand the concept of selective hearing and all that entails.  I am in no way a person that lacks IQ, nor do I state that I am a genius.  Just an average chick that takes the bullets that could be flying in my home.  I have a pair of picky-eating, tightly-wound individuals in this house to contend with.  With DH and his stress level that he prefers to keep to himself and DD's teen angst nearing disastrous proportions, I have been required to take the role of peacemaker.  Previous attempts of being quirky, sarcastic, or emotional for some pent up release has resulted in zingers coming at me from angles that I thought never existed.  I guess I am far too accommodating to those around me to pursue standing up for myself.  Angered deep within the core of my being, I have managed to learn coping mechanisms that could be worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize (only if I could figure how to share how I do it, that is).  I just fear that my years, and I mean years of practice is just a waste of energy and yet another failure under my belt.

Well, let me tell you this short story and you tell me where I am missing something or if I am speaking in either a dead language or I need to dumb-down what I say even more ;)

Picture this....  Father's Day and it is feeling like just another ordinary Sunday in the house.  Upon waking, I dive into the usual routine (make breakfast, wash the dishes, get the grocery list started, and round up the troops for yet another fun filled day of banter between DH and DD while trying to save my ear drums from exploding from DD's screeching...  Oh joy!  Prior to our leaving for the grocery store, DD approaches me with her recent dilemma....  her mp3 is in serious need of replacement.  Her constant use of that little device finally gave out (only took roughly 8 pairs of ear buds/headphones with it in its wake).  Yep, my daughter would make a great product longevity specialist.  Nothing stands a chance to last remotely as long as it was intended to be useful.  Well, DD decides to play the "ask mom first to avoid dad for anything" game.  Apparently, I lack the resolve to constantly say no to her demands like DH is capable of, or she thinks I have some leverage over DH to buy what she wants.  In all honesty... she probably figures I can take the bitter-talk over spending money bullet from DH better than she can.  I am obviously aware of this game and instead of being the bullet-taker all the time, I now request that DD talks to her father regarding anything that costs money.  He holds the checkbook, ya know.  Send her to the source and avoid the middleman.  In all honesty.... DD has her daddy wrapped around her little finger anyway.  This should be easy, right?  Apparently, she likes getting me involved where I would rather scoop my eyes out with a blunt instrument or get a root canal without Novocaine than get my foot in that doorway to the seventh ring of Hell when it comes to spending money we just do not have at the moment.  Needless to say, mom the short-wicked woman got roped into being involved in this debacle and mentioned to DH that DD needs a new mp3 player.  His response was, "Sure, she can get one if she (or you) saves up the money to get one.".  Apparently, when we have money, things are just peachy and it is our money, but when money is tight.... it is strictly his money and it is my fault that we do not have a surplus of funds.  When things get divided in a discussion, I know better than pursue any further because the request is denied.  The horse is dead, so stop kicking it.

Fast forward roughly 6 hours in the same say:  DH asks me, "Is there something wrong with DD's mp3 player?" (Really!!  Didn't we have this discussion 6 hours ago and was shot down like a duck during hunting season?)  My reply was, "Yes, it is.  Her consistent use resulted in the darn thing frying-out.  They are not meant to last forever, ya know.  I did all that I could to get it working, but the buttons on the thing are now useless and it locks up or shuts off on her.  I have synced the thing on the computer, I have fully charged it, and I cannot even try to reset it if the buttons really do not work anymore.  She apparently needs a new mp3 player."  Then DH decides to baffle me with his next question.... "Did you plug it into the computer and do that stuff you need to do to get it going again like you do for my computer?" (I giggle-snort and a sigh being freely offered because I told him I did that already)  "Yes, I did", I stated in the nicest tone I can muster instead of the frustration that I had because he did not hear me earlier apparently.  "So do I have authorization to get DD a new mp3 player or shall I take the brunt of her endless nagging for a new one?".... (No answer).

Now, I am not saying that DH is slow in any sense of the word (he fixes stuff that I could never figure out on my most intelligent of days), but it makes me wonder why the large gaps in our conversations.  Is he secretly hiding in a different room with some Thesaurus to decipher what I said?  The to the point comment was I did all that I could do and that she needs a replacement mp3 player.  All he needs to say is to go get her one and the problem is solved.  How complicated does this need to be?  Needless to say, I am still waiting for an authorization to get DD a new mp3 player and get her back to her "happy place", because frankly, I have to deal with her antics far more than DH does and I am not sure if I can shoulder this burden alone and survive. Well, I think I need to just go back to my reading marathon and do my best to shut out the insanity that will surely build until we either get her one or wait for something else (that is obviously taking the place of her broken mp3 player for musical entertainment) breaks and then we will have another thing that needs replacement.  Chances are, it will cost far more than the $40 mp3 player we can get (yes, I looked it up and found one in stock at the local store...  Like a Girl Scout/ Boy Scout...  Always prepared).

Oh well....  Thanks for reading and have a great day!